PatentHeel Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 Going out yesterday evening with the wife, she was unsure about what footwear to wear and asked if she could wear a pair of my heels. Reluctantly I agreed and let her pick her a pair from my collection. She only went and picked one of my favourite pairs of black patent strappy sandals! Anyway, to complete the look I painted her toenails for her and we both got ourselves ready. Later that evening I drove us to the pub, but all the way there I found myself constantly asking her to make sure that she took good care of my heels, to the point that it was starting to get on her nerves. "They're only bloody heels" she remarked, but I pointed out to her that although they were only heels to her, they meant a lot more than that to me. The fact that these heels spend 99% of the time in a box on top of my wardrobe, you'd think that I'd be happy to see my wife wearing them occasionally, yet I just ended up spending the entire evening worrying about them getting ruined! Admittedly my wife looked nice and the heels and painted toes really finished off her look. I just wish I'd have bought two pairs of those heels now lol. She thinks I'm very possessive!
johnieheel Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 She thinks I'm very possessive! To say the least. I would have been totaly thrilled to the gills if my wife asked to borrow a pair of my heels to wear out and wouldn't have given a hoot about a few scuffs or scrapes. But she wears a size smaller and has many of her own anyway. real men wear heels
LovesHiHeels Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 You are very possessive over your shoes. I be more then glad if my wife wore my heels out and about. Might even give them to her.
PatentHeel Posted October 18, 2009 Author Posted October 18, 2009 Stupid how one can get so possessive over something that another person deems trivial. Unfortunately I can't help being the way I am but luckily my wife understands me and puts up with my quirks. It was nice to see her in them though and hopefully by me looking after them, she'll be able to wear them many times over.
FXHH Posted October 18, 2009 Posted October 18, 2009 maybe this will help!! one day when we depart from this world we can not take our heels with us!! many of us collect heels that will never be worn through!! so while we are both around, we might as well make the best of them!! self take great pleasure when I see the wife wearing my heels, she has actually helped me stretch a pair of my clogs to fit me better by wearing them to work a few times!! however there are one or two pairs of her heels that she is not too keen on me wearing as my feet are a little wider then hears and that leaves her shoes a little looser then she would like!!
roniheels Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 It was nice to see her in them though and hopefully by me looking after them, she'll be able to wear them many times over. Now that's the right attitude to have. And it sounds like she really appreciates your taste in high heels and is happy to share them with you.
barbara Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I agree with your wife, there only bloody heels.Your to possessive. There are not to many heels that are not replaceable. You should enjoy going out with your wife and that fact that she enjoys your shoes.
Dr. Shoe Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 I'm sure I've read this somewhere before! Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
Olounda Posted October 19, 2009 Posted October 19, 2009 Here is what i have come to determine. I have found that within the people and the communities that i deal with, I feel differently about High heels than say an average woman would. Think of it this way. Women growing up are taught that they are beautiful (which is damn sure the truth), and as such, they have all these fun things made for them. Shoes, jeans, clothes taylored to their figure, so on and so forth. As they grow up and wear high heels, it is the idea that they dont think about wearing them, its just what they do, it is a part of their life, imprinted upon them from childbirth, or even as toddlers or young adults, Hence they value heels much differently than we as men do. We, even though we may have had desires to wear them as young boys, were not allowed to wear them, due to the "social" or "family" rammafications, and as such, when we do wear them now that we are older, we value them much more, we do our very best to keep them in nice condition. they are that rare commodity that we allowed ourselves in this world, and as such we feel differently about them. While i cannot agree, or disagree with your wife, the point is that they feel differently than we do. we love them, because they are ours. They love them, because, well, they dont know life without them. I pride myself with the ability that i have to walk in high heels, and with a good taste of fashion, but women, because they are so integrated in their life, dont carry that pride per se, it is just a part of their life. Thats what makes it so doggon hard to shop for heels with a woman who only wears them for work or such, because they dont think about them all the time, let alone let a woman wear your heels, because they dont think about them all the time, they wear them out, they use them, whereas for us, we wear them, and use them, but not to the extent that they do. I'm sorry if i ended up rambling, this was just on my mind. Thanks for listening
quidam Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Very true Olounda. As women they are granted the priviledge of wearing whatever they wish. For men it is something you must fight for, and then it becomes a conquered right. Thus, you are not taking care just for a pair of shoes, but what they represent.
Guest Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 With a 3 size difference it's a try for the look and a feel for the size. I feel proud and more confident when she says she jealous of my taste but nags "don't buy anymore" (for her) she has enough???? (also meaning - so have I) I can understand your feelings I hate it when my wife drives my car etc etc just learn to relax and remember she is really honouring you and approving of your tastes. It takes time to come to terms with it. Not following your situation for some time, I believe it was, home only and "unseen". Maybe a more "open" situation may be unfolding? Stay cool and do try to explain and be sorry for any obsessiveness again it may help. Al
Histiletto Posted October 20, 2009 Posted October 20, 2009 Here is what i have come to determine. I have found that within the people and the communities that i deal with, I feel differently about High heels than say an average woman would. Think of it this way. Women growing up are taught that they are beautiful (which is damn sure the truth), and as such, they have all these fun things made for them. Shoes, jeans, clothes taylored to their figure, so on and so forth. As they grow up and wear high heels, it is the idea that they dont think about wearing them, its just what they do, it is a part of their life, imprinted upon them from childbirth, or even as toddlers or young adults, Hence they value heels much differently than we as men do. We, even though we may have had desires to wear them as young boys, were not allowed to wear them, due to the "social" or "family" rammafications, and as such, when we do wear them now that we are older, we value them much more, we do our very best to keep them in nice condition. they are that rare commodity that we allowed ourselves in this world, and as such we feel differently about them. While i cannot agree, or disagree with your wife, the point is that they feel differently than we do. we love them, because they are ours. They love them, because, well, they dont know life without them. I pride myself with the ability that i have to walk in high heels, and with a good taste of fashion, but women, because they are so integrated in their life, dont carry that pride per se, it is just a part of their life. Thats what makes it so doggon hard to shop for heels with a woman who only wears them for work or such, because they dont think about them all the time, let alone let a woman wear your heels, because they dont think about them all the time, they wear them out, they use them, whereas for us, we wear them, and use them, but not to the extent that they do. I'm sorry if i ended up rambling, this was just on my mind. Thanks for listening You seemed to have nailed how both men and women perceive their relationship with high heels. Our roles are so programmed into our thinking, whether we have such inclinations or not, that we are considered defected, or at least a person who needs to adjust our being when we exhibit unfamiliar behaviors or desires. My desire to wear stilettos is the key that opened my eyes that our social roles have been trumped up from what society has come to expect and not from who each individual has the desire or slant to be.
William Posted October 21, 2009 Posted October 21, 2009 I know from reading so many posts here, that you are a lucky SOB to have a wife who indulges your love for heels. In that spirit, I say share your shoes anytime she asks. That seems fair to me.
mtnsofheels Posted October 22, 2009 Posted October 22, 2009 Hi all, Wow Patent Heel, I know your situation. I would not say I have had that for my heels but how you replied is the way I would reply to my GF when borrowing some of cameras or tools. I think your reaction is a male trait when we lend or have had people borrow stuff. I have done this reaction many times when it something I feel is worth while and important to me. The fact that it is a pair of heels which are like a treasure to you it is more acute due to the cherished value you have of them. I would be too. I also agree totally with Olounda, that is very profound and correct too. I think women feel that way as well but rarely state their true feelings just because of the gender difference. However if you wanted see posessive woman I could only imagine diving into Spouse's kitchen tools , or lingerie drawer might bring a similar reaction by her. I have had that for sure, kitchen stuff....... But over all of that, it would be cool to supply the GF/Spouse with a pair of lenders for a special event! And felt special that we offered them. Mtnsofheels
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