Just being real

[blacksmith25]

hey guys, we have alot of threads on here that ask women "do they like us in heels" "is it attractive" "what is their concept" etc. now i see that alot of guys answer these polls posted and the truth of the matter is they dont like it some may like but majority doesnt for some reason i dont know. maybe they dont like that fact that they do all these things to come off sexy for men or even for themselves and heels are really the main thing to finish an outfit to make them sexy to a man. and maybe they feel like we are taking that from them. yes heels were made for men back in the day. a woman is not going to see that they see heels in the womens section of the store so therefore they are considered womens shoes... thats why they say at the end of the day their "womens shoes" in reality at the end of the day they are "Just" shoes.. why make a big deal out of it if you think someone is sexy it shouldnt be what they wear it should be personality and how they treat you. ladies i know yall probably hoping that its a phase for guys and its really not i bet every guy in this forum has liked heels since they were little if it hasnt gone away since then it wont go away.. society tells us whats belongs to what sex and what doesnt thats a loud of bullshit to be honest people are going to wear what they want wether society likes it or not women wear guy clothes all the time they dont get shit for it. women dress up like guys. some women dont mind it if you know their men where heels just in private, ladies anything that happens behind closed doors dealing with what you wear or how you feels its going to come out to the public anyway im not telling yall to accept it or like it for that matter. everyone is intitled to their own opinion but it seems like your opinions are encouraged by what society has built for us for so long so lets look outside the box for a second. Are guys harming anybody by wearing heels? Are they stealing your thunder? or are they doing what they want because it makes them happy??.. they not taking your fun and they not taking your thunder. Really at the end of the day its "just clothes" i thought the saying was "the clothes dont make the person, the person makes the clothes" its whats inside that makes you sexy not what you wear.. thats what society needs to know and see. So i say all that to say this does it really matter what people are going to think if it really makes you happy, ladies does it really matter if your man wears heels or jeans or whatever he still going to treat you the same. here's some advice that a great mind told me. "if your partner treats right, then you gotta expect them to be who they are" and if thats what they are and thats what they like to do then expect it i mean the worlds not going to end you live and learn... im sorry this was so long and probably boring but this is a real issue

[FXHH]

WOW!!!! very well written could not of put it better myself:clap: true true words!!

[kikepa]

I think that at the end of the day they're neither "women's shoes" nor "just shoes."

They're my shoes.

And that goes for the beginning of the day, as well.

[SandalFan]

Three words: Wall of Text Paragraphs are Your Friend.

[roniheels]

That was very prolific and right on the mark. That is what I like about this website. So many men who enjoy wearing high heels privately and publicly share thoughts and opinions that seem to be of similar veins. Thank you for your thoughts and your posting.

[HappyFeat]

we have alot of threads on here that ask women "do they like us in heels" "is it attractive" "what is their concept" etc. now i see that alot of guys answer these polls posted and the truth of the matter is they dont like it some may like but majority doesnt for some reason i dont know.

First of all, I think that your last sentence here has been the consensus belief of most men who post and respond to the polls at HHPlace. Some guy, including myself, have had good fortune of meeting women who think that a guy wearing heels is pretty cool. Other's responses may simply be wishful thinking. Still others may have responded negatively because of negative experiences. Lets not forget that there are many guys who are members of this forum who have partners who not only accept their desire to wear heels, they fully participate and appreciate their man's choice; while other men are severely restricted by their partners.

None of these polls are scientific, valid, or reliable. So the best we have is anecdotal evidence; based solely on the responses of guys based on what they perceive, not on any measurable hypothesis. I am sure that if you asked 100 women if they would like a man who wore high heels, the vast majority would respond that they don't. However if you asked the same women AFTER they met some of the guys who are members of this forum, the number of positive responses would go way up.

The problem with a blanket statement either way is that most women have never actually thought about it. I meet women who may be taken aback at first, however once they talk to me they think it is pretty cool that I do what I want to do.

maybe they dont like that fact that they do all these things to come off sexy for men or even for themselves and heels are really the main thing to finish an outfit to make them sexy to a man. and maybe they feel like we are taking that from them.

Ironically, I have had women tell me that they could never date a guy who has better shoes than they do. I think you may have something here as it relates to some women; ones who just can't accept a man who is prettier than she is - vanity being what it is. There is also some logic to the thought that women may not like men encroaching into something that once was preceived exclusively a female domain - the shoe department. As a long time "metrosexual" (boy I hate that term, but it does apply) who gets manicures, pedicures, facials, uses skin care products, etc., I can tell you that most women seem OK with those things, however SOME do not. It was the same thing when it became common for guys who wore earrings, other jewelry, and even some makeup. At first it wasn't common place, but did gain acceptance and even attraction from the fairer sex.

However, as I stated above, it is not every day that women are confronted with a guy who wears heels for them to actually form something less than a knee jerk reaction to the thought of it.

yes heels were made for men back in the day. a woman is not going to see that they see heels in the womens section of the store so therefore they are considered womens shoes... thats why they say at the end of the day their "womens shoes" in reality at the end of the day they are "Just" shoes.. why make a big deal out of it if you think someone is sexy it shouldnt be what they wear it should be personality and how they treat you.

I tend to agree in principle that women's shoes are just shoes, however in the big picture heels are heels and heels tend to be marketed to women. For example, lets take that random sample of 100 women I mentioned above. I am willing to bet that out of that hypothetical group, a large percentage, maybe even as high as one third don't wear heels themselves for one reason or another. I am also willing to bet that of that group, a large percentage, maybe as high as 25% don't like WOMEN who wear heels, let alone a man who does. So, no matter how you frame it heels are likely NEVER precived as "just shoes" no matter who is wearing them.

Also, I have always thought of heels less as "women's shoes" than shoes that are marketed to women. Let's face it, when I go out to buy shoes I am not FORBIDDEN from buying heels because I am male. Most of the time, I receive the same service from a store as a woman, sometimes even better service.

Heels are not the only shoes women wear...falts, sneakers, loafers, flip-flops, etc. are all worn by women, but heels are somehow special and different. A man could wear a pair of women's penny loafers and who would notice. I once bought a pair of sneakers that were "missized" in the men's department, but I knew they were sized for women, but they fit and I got a substantial discount. Nobody ever noticed that I was wearing "women's shoes." You can't get away with that if they are heels. So I contend that heels are a category of shoes onto themselves - just market at women and designed with women in mind.

Also, they do still make shoes for men with heels in the present. For example, Western boots come with a fairly high heel as well as a pointed toe. I once had a pair of Cuban heel oxfords in black patent that had a 2 3/4" heel. So, heels for men are still available if you are willing to look. They may not be stilettos, but they are out there.

ladies i know yall probably hoping that its a phase for guys and its really not i bet every guy in this forum has liked heels since they were little if it hasnt gone away since then it wont go away..

I appreciate your sentiment, however I think people get to make up their own minds on what they like and what they are willing to accept. I don't think that it is appropriate for me to tell people that they have to like the fact that I wear heels. Isn't this akin to them trying to tell me I CAN'T wear heels because the don't like it?

society tells us whats belongs to what sex and what doesnt thats a loud of bullshit to be honest people are going to wear what they want wether society likes it or not women wear guy clothes all the time they dont get shit for it. women dress up like guys.

First, society tells us a lot of things, but mainly it tells us if you deviate from the accepted norm you are likely not to be accepted. "Society" is neither universal nor monolithic and sometimes I think a lot of people paint it that way. Society may tell us that if you kill another person, there are consequences to pay for that act. That is fairly universal. However, if you kill another person in self defense, it is a different matter altogether. Outside of countries like Iran or a community like the Amish, modern Western society really doesn't have moralistic leaders who dictate to us what is an acceptable norm as far as how anybody dresses. Everybody is left to form their own opinions on those matters and those opinions vary quite a bit.

For example, I'll bet that a guy in heels would be perceived differently in San Fransisco or New York than the same guy in heels in a rural Southern town, though in both places the guy would be perceived negatively by some and positively by some (and some who have no opinion) in BOTH places, just in different proportions. I think if a guy want to wear heels, he just needs to do it and quit blaming society on his apprehensions.

Yes, it is acceptable in most places for women to wear men's clothes, however not in all contexts. For example, I have a friend who sells cars. She is very good at it, but she only wears men's suits. Not pants suits in women's sizes mind you, but men's suits and shoes as well. She is fairly masculine anyway, but she is known as the "girl in the suit." She attracts a fair amount of attention for her choices. I am sure when you say it is acceptable for a woman to dress as a man you are meaning in a man's style and not to dress as a man. If you are, I am sure women like my friend would disagree totally becuase she faces her own issues with her attire.

some women dont mind it if you know their men where heels just in private, ladies anything that happens behind closed doors dealing with what you wear or how you feels its going to come out to the public anyway

Frankly, not everything done in private comes out. I can list many examples from history of secrets that were kept for centuries. For that matter, if any guy enters into a relationship and has a strong desire to wear heels and has kept it a secret, the issue isn't footwear it is dishonesty. And society seems to be fairly monolithic and universal on dishonesty being a bad thing.

For thoughts in this matter, Bubba would be much better able to address this than I since he eloquently has done so in so many different threads.

im not telling yall to accept it or like it for that matter. everyone is intitled to their own opinion but it seems like your opinions are encouraged by what society has built for us for so long so lets look outside the box for a second. Are guys harming anybody by wearing heels? Are they stealing your thunder? or are they doing what they want because it makes them happy??.. they not taking your fun and they not taking your thunder. Really at the end of the day its "just clothes" i thought the saying was "the clothes dont make the person, the person makes the clothes" its whats inside that makes you sexy not what you wear.. thats what society needs to know and see.

Again, is it what society needs to see or is it what women (or a specific woman) needs to see? Your thoughts here may be valid, however it seems to me that you are addressing a situation with very specific thoughts. If a guy is open and honest about his desires to dress a certain way and a woman cannot accept it, then either the man has to decided he loves the women more than his shoes or he needs to move on or find some compromise.

Personally, being my own man is very important to me. If I compromise that, then she was never interested in me in the first place. I quit smoking for a woman once. That was worth it. I learned to pick up my dirt clothes and be less of a slob. That I could do. But I could no more convert to another Religion, change my political beliefs, or stop wearing heels for anybody. Those are part of who I am and if I were not upfront about it and it causes a schism in my relationship, then its my own fault...not her's for not accepting me and certainly not societies, or even God's for that matter.

So i say all that to say this does it really matter what people are going to think if it really makes you happy, ladies does it really matter if your man wears heels or jeans or whatever he still going to treat you the same. here's some advice that a great mind told me. "if your partner treats right, then you gotta expect them to be who they are" and if thats what they are and thats what they like to do then expect it i mean the worlds not going to end you live and learn... im sorry this was so long and probably boring but this is a real issue

Again, its not the "ladies" who need to accept anything. More likely it needs to be just a single "lady". Just one is that is all is necessary for you or for me or for anybody. Here's the bottom line, as guys who have chosen, for whatever reason, to do something as out of the ordinary as wearing heel, it is going to limit our opportunities to some degree. Some women just will never accept it or even understand it. Some may be tolerant, but never embrace it.

However, wearing heels has opened more doors for me than it ever closed. I ac go out on a Saturday night and talk to women who likely never would have given me the time of day. However, I also will encounter women who whisper behind my back, laugh at me, and even act rudely. This is important also. Why would I ever be interested in somebody who displays rude, close minded behavior just because I am wearing heels? How would they react to anybody who is different in the least? It tells me more about them than they would ever imagine.

That being said, I posted in another thread on this forum that "women are less attracted to the shoes on the man than the man in the shoes." If guys stop waiting to be accepted and approved of by "society" or the "ladies" and just go out and show you have the stones to be yourself, they will find that the people who should really matter to them approved all along.

[Thighboots2]

Happy feet,

Wow, Megapost. Still an nice read and I do agree especially with this quote:-

The problem with a blanket statement either way is that most women have never actually thought about it. I meet women who may be taken aback at first, however once they talk to me they think it is pretty cool that I do what I want to do.

It is the case that the general perception of the word "heels" will be the current fashion, mostly stiletto. The respondant will picture their favorite heeled shoe on a man and it won't work in their mind. I too would probably agree with the picture they have in their mind's eye. However, show them a picture of a man in heels and a well co-ordinated outfit and most will then tell you if the whole look works rather than focus on just the heels.

This thread http://www.hhplace.org/girls/2272-take_2_-_what_your_real_take_concept_men_wearin-3.html#post167591 we find the girl "JAMIE 2" posts the following (repeated here to save to clicking away) which backs up my witterings.

My first reaction would be that I think it is weird. I've never actually seen a man wearing high heels. I'm picturing pumps and sandals, but if we consider other high heel types like clogs or shoes with chunky heels, maybe it would be okay. I guess if I saw a man wearing cute high heeled shoes, I might like it. At least we'd have something to talk about.

Simon.