Gige

OK - I can not resist responding to this topic because, I, too, was a drummer and played a drumset in heel and, thus, can and do deeply relate appreciate this topic. I do apologize if I am giving you tips and/or advice on techniques of which you may have already learned. In sum, abandoned the "heel-toe" method of working the bass drum and hi-hat pedals. I was taught to use that and found it to be good only for limiting my speed and agility. If you keep the heel of your foot planted on the bass pedal, for example, it limits your ability to use that for 16th note pick-ups before the first beat of the next measure. Without wearing heels, keep the heel of your right foot on the ground and hit two 16th notes before coming in your snare or toms on the one. Then, trying the same with your foot in an elevated position as if you are wearing heels. You will notice that the elevated position allows you to hit those pick-up notes much faster than with your heel resting on the pedal. Also, as you have/will learn(ed), using the heel-toe method causes the muscles in your foot and ankle to grow tired rather quickly. Thus, the primary movement really comes from the hip while the knee remains stationary (for the most part) and the second note is a quick follow-up with the ankle. If you are wearing heels while playing and resting the heel on the pedal, the primary movement is still coming from the ankle, which is not what you want to do - movement of the leg from the hip is the best technique. Resting your foot on the pedal, heel or not, limits you ability to use your hip and ankle in combination as all movement then comes from your ankle. You will find that you can move your legs from the hip much for quickly that you can move your ankle on the pedal. Go to Youtube and search: Neil Peart - Cotton Tail with drum solo and watch the movement of his legs and feet - there are plenty of close up shots that will clearly show how he places his feet on the pedals. You will notice that only the ball of his foot is on the pedal and the movement of such originates from his hip. FWIW, this solo is undoubtedly one of the finest on a four-piece drum kit you will ever see. That which I do not like about it is his use of traditional grip - don't EVEN get me started on that!

@Goose @CrushedVamp Welcome to the forum! I believe that you will find many of the active members to be encouraging and supportive as you progress in wearing heels out in public. I find it to be very comforting to know that what I have and I am currently experiencing, others in this group have also done the same. Thus, that which you share with this group will be very familiar to most everyone and the advice you receive/can find will be very helpful. On that note, allow me to offer a few suggestions. First, read through many of the threads started over the past year or so. As I started venturing out in heels about a year ago, I, too, had many stories of success as well as many questions. I found the responses, encouragement, and advice in the responses to my postings were invaluable. You may not agree with all that has been offered in the words of each individual but for the most part, I have found that which they wrote to be enriching and rewarding. For me, reading the stories of other men wearing heels in public was the motivation I needed to take that first step, both literally and figuratively. Within a year, I have gone from “Oh god! Someone may have seen me in heels!” to “Someone saw me in heels. I hope they thought my skirt and top matched my boots/heels!” I often receive compliments on my outfits and that never gets old (and/or tired). Second, be sure to share your stories, thoughts, and comments with the group. Again, many of us can relate to your feelings and will be able to offer tips, pointers, and if needed, cautions about wearing heels in public. I find that writing about my initial experiences of wearing heels in public was very helpful in processing all of it. Likewise, you will always get a response to your posts. Building confidence in wearing heels in public varies from individual to individual. Some can throw on a pair of heels for the first time and head right out in public without a care in the world. For others, it may take a bit, and there will be a few who may still be hesitant for a very long period of time. Finally, do not feel stupid, silly, ashamed, or otherwise if you truly want to wear heels out in public. There are members of this forum who range from just wearing only heels to individuals like me who are either genderfluid or fully transgender (I have started gravitating to the latter) but what binds us together is that we all wear high heels. The how, when, and where you choose to do so is entirely up to you and I hope that you will eventually become like other members (myself included) who prefer heels to other footwear. At first, yes, it is going to feel as if the eyes of the world immediately fall upon you when step out in heels. With time, practice, and determination, that will change. Again, read through some of the older threads and look at he outfits some of the members have worn out in public. When I first started wearing heels in public, I dreamed of the day I could wear a similar outfit in public. Now, I do and want “everyone” to see it! If you need advice, encouragement, or the like, always feel free to make an outreach!

There were some responses to various threads on which I wanted to comment but, admittedly, I am too lazy to go back and try and find them. Thus, I going to throw out a melange of thoughts here - think of it as High Heel goulash. First, someone had mentioned the idea of more men wanting to wear heels in public but for reasons unknown, do not do so. For a time, I was an assistant administrator of a group promoting men wearing high heels in public on a different social media platform. I happened to notice a few trends worthy of discussion based solely on my observations, and not on research or scientific data. It appears that the number of men who actually wear heels in public is but a very small percent of those who want to do so. It seems that fear over some sort of negative reaction, consequence, or the expectation of "men being men" was the greatest hurdle to doing so. This is completely understandably as the idea of men wearing heels or dressing "en femme" is still taboo and may always be to some. Although I could not make any sort of reasonable estimation, I would believe it is fair to say there are a fair number of men out there who will forever hold a secret desire to wear heels out in public but the fear of reaction to such prevents them from doing so. One of the reasons I stepped away from this group was due to the fact that, although it was created with the purpose of getting society to accept men wearing high heels, very few of the contributions to it were of men wearing heels in public. I came to believe that many of the members held a deep fantasy of wanting to wear heels in public and this was as close as they could get to doing so. Next, I seem to recall a thread somewhere about whether the excitement of wearing heels in public fades after a while. I given this a lot of thought and my answer is "Yes" and "No." My wearing heels of any height in public is now my norm, so yes, the thrill of doing so has faded to some degree. There are still times when it is exciting such as when I am wearing a new style of heels or outfit. Recently, I started wearing open-toe heels (and Espadrilles) in both public and to work, and it was exciting the first few instances of such as I believed that I would never do so. Now that we are heading into the autumn and the cooler weather, boot weather will soon be here and I am excited to finally be able to wear a skirt to the office (As previously noted, my office is so over air conditioned, heavy clothes are required in the summer to remain warm and thus, my summer skirts are "too thin" to be worn there). So, I suppose it is fair to say that the thrill of wearing heels in public does diminish when it becomes the "norm" or is, in fact, expected. For me, however, the thrill of wearing heels in public is still exciting because before I head out to wherever, I take a look at myself in the mirror and love what I see. Likewise, I park my car at the farthest end of my building's parking lot and at the end of my work day as I head to my vehicle, I see my reflect in the other cars I pass along en route. Simply seeing my outfit or even knowing that it is "cute" still develops a tremendous emotional charge for me. I adore the look of wide leg pants pair with a pair of kitten heels and knowing that I am wearing such is an addictive rush. Also, when I receive a compliment on either my outfit as a whole or even part of it, it makes it all worthwhile. Finally, somewhere a member had posted a response about Hunter rain boots. Do not get me wrong, I have the greatest appreciation for knee high rain boots and appreciate their practicality. I, however, would only wear them as a means to keep my feet dry when it is wet outside and to prevent me from destroying a pair of heels by having to navigate around puddles of standing water. Well, sometime ago I saw these and when they went on sale, jumped on getting a pair - style and practicality all in one!

I have been thinking about this post for a while and promise to try and keep it on point. When I started wearing heels, the height of the heel was what was important – the higher the better and I always went for 4.5” – 5.” The style of the heel did not matter whether it was a stiletto, block, wedge, or some other form. I loved such high heels because there was a certain irresistible and indescribable feeling of just being able to walk on a heel that I found to be so horribly alluring. Fast forward to November 2023 when I started wearing heels out in public. I started with 4” block heels in order to get comfortable with doing so and to date, have only worn a higher heel out to an event just once. When I started wearing heels to work earlier this year, 3” – 3.5” seemed to be a good start but for me, 4” is the limit for my own personal reasons (do not want to restart the what is/is not work appropriate debate). I have always felt that I wanted that which I was wearing to compliment the heels I chose for the day. I never felt comfortable wearing “guy” clothing with heels and as a result, began wearing feminine clothing with any pair of heels while out in public. To me, and speaking only for myself and not to offend anyone, most heels are alluring but “guy” clothes are boring and drab, thus, the two types of clothing are not compatible for my tastes. As I realized that my style of clothing to wear with my heels was starting to take shape, I began shopping for heels that matched the outfit in terms of color, style, and practicality; heel height became secondary. Thus, the height of the heel started not to matter so much anymore. Not to get off-topic, I will wear “guy” lounging clothes around my place when I have a new part of heels that need a bit of “breaking in” time before they are worn out in public. Soon, I began to feel a sense of comfort and fulfillment in the entire outfit even if I was only wearing kitten heels provided that what I was wearing with them reflected my sense of ‘haute couture.’ I, for example, love the look of tailored wide-leg pants with either a kitten heel or a shorter heeled animal print pump. Such reflects a certain sophisticated and classic elegance, a ‘je na sais quoi’ about it. The summers in my part of the world, however, can be quite unforgiving on some days which wreaks havoc on my feet; heels that fit today will not fit tomorrow if it is hot and humid. Fun and useless fact – one acre of corn stalks releases 2-3k gallons of water vapor (humidity) when they are short of maturity. When the heat takes hold, I opt for my Vans as I have several pairs in many colors which allow me to easily match those shoes to either my pants/skirt or top. Likewise, I have a very comfortable pair of loafers that are probably one of the most comfortable pairs of non-trainers I own. When I go this route of shoe choice, I still feel as great as I do when I am wearing a pair of heels out in public provided that the outfit looks great and my accessories match. Thus, I have come to realize that as much as heels are an expression of whom I am, I can still do so without having to wear 5” stilettos or the like. So, I have to ask if the height of the heel really matters?