Finding it hard to become more adventurous!

[DDWW]

I would like to get some clothing advice; I'll take a while getting to the question, but I think the explanation of the situation is necessary to get my point over! I recently bought a cute pair of black, felt, round-toed 2" pumps and have been enjoying driving around everywhere in them. This progressed to being able to get myself to get out of the car to go to the boot when it was dark in the evenings. I then started doing this in the day time, and now, a massive step for me a few days ago, was to wear them out of my top floor flat, and down the stairs past all the other flats in the building and across the car park to my car in the mornings on the way to work! I've done this for a few days in a row now and it is so exciting -had some close calls too with people coming out of their flats, but so far so good! I know many people get away with wearing not so obvious type heels when they street-heel (eg. wedge/platform/block heel styles), I only get a kick when I wear really cute women's shoes like the 2" ballet pump type ones I mentioned earlier (the heel doesn't necessarily have to be that high). I'm a straight, pretty middle-of-the-road kind of guy and I normally dress to the same effect, however, I do get a massive kick out of wearing women's high heels, and, as I've recently discovered, wearing them outside! My problem is that I would dearly love to be able to walk around wearing a really CUTE pair of low heels in the streets with lots of people around me, without them knowing, or at least, without it being that obvious to passers by. I have a real phobia about having people seeing me in heels, especially as a lot of university friends/aquaintances still live in the area: word would travel fast and I would never live it down! Does anyone else feel the same way? Can anyone give me any advice on how I could dress which wouldn't look out of place, but also cover up my heel wearing? Does any one else out there feel

[Thighbootguy]

DDWW -

I can’t give you advice on fashion but...

Wearing heels out and a bout is a head game. All the reasons for not doing it and all the fears are in your head. In my experience, most people don’t care what you have on your feet. If your concerned about the neighbors, take your shoes to some other well populated area and wear them there.

First get dressed, including your heels, at home, and look at yourself in a full length mirror. Make sure you are comfortable with what you see. If you are not comfortable seeing yourself in heels, don’t go out. But, if you like what you see, and I mean really like the look, then that is the biggest step in building the confidence you need. The confidence is a critical factor. If you don’t look comfortable and confident, no matter what your wearing, others will pick up on that insecurity and take advantage of it. If you do project confidence (and you can’t fake it) others pick up on that too and will give you the space to be yourself.

Don’t worry about trying to hide your heels. Worry destroys confidence. Pick a look you like and go for it. If you like wedges, block heels, stilettos, 2” or 5” wear them so that you like the look. If that’s having the heel completely covered by the pant leg, heel exposed by the pant leg, or pant leg in side boots, pick a look you like and go for it.

The more confidence you build, the more freedom you will have in creating a look you like.

Confidence comes from doing something successfully. Don’t set up a situation where you can’t succeed. Don’t go somewhere that you know will give you grief. Go somewhere that is well populated and where people want you to be there (so that you will spend money).

There are places I don’t go in heels. Work is my main restriction. Places where I have never been before and don’t know what to expect is another restriction. Other than that...

Go out and have fun.

[chris100575]

I second Thighbootguy's advice. I've not been out that much yet, but it was in fairly obvious heels and the only comments I've had have been positive. Everyone else has either not noticed, not cared, or kept their opinion to themselves. TBG makes a very good point about choosing where you go, I tend to avoid places that I know are likely to be full of idiots, but then I do that when I'm not in heels anyway. You're also less likely to be noticed if you're one in a crowd than if you're somewhere virtually deserted. Also remember that most people are just as interested in avoiding a confrontation as you are. Good luck, Chris

[Krapsparov]

I have chatted with Chris about this in great detail, and we both came to the conclusion that you should never meet your hero’s or live out your fantasies.

From what I can gather from your post, you want to wear heels but not be noticed – there’s no point!! Heels look great!!!

If its just a fantasy, then keep it to your flat because I can assure you that once you have been our for a few times and nobody cares what your wearing, your fantasy is out of the window.

Here is my plan for you.

1: Go somewhere where nobody knows you and wear the shoes of your choice, in public, on full show for everyone to see.

This will prove to yourself that what people on this site are saying is true and nobody gives a rat’s ass what you wear.

2: Set up a home page about yourself.

On this home page you’ll put your pets, your choice in music, your work and on a sub heading “Oh yea, you may see me wearing heels from time to time”

Then you tell everyone you know that you have a website and before you know it, they will expect to see you in heels or at least ask you about them.

You are doing NOTHING wrong, don’t hide them!!

But first you have to decide if it’s a fetish or not, because you don’t want to kill it.

Jon

[Thighboots2]

Jon, Hitting the nail on the head. How true. TB2

[stilettolover]

I too agree. Jon said it , I believe it, that settles it. Heels are an expression of one's self. If it weren't for being different or expressing individuality, this sure would be a BORING world to live in.

[JeffB]

This is just my opinion, but adventure is anywhere you find it. To me, each new public outing in heels is a new adventure because it's another chance to do something I find to be bold and daring. I have no trouble getting psyched for an outing because I know I'm going to have fun. And that's the way you should look at it too!