Hello From A Longtime Viewer

[Aglo]

Hello all! I'm yet another who has been viewing the forum for a year or two without registering. The recent changes to the look of the place has final pushed me to come forth. I am male and over fifty, happily married with two kids. I always fancied high-heel shoes but did not seriously think about wearing them until finding the forum and realising that my views were shared by many obviously normal, and often very thoughtful and perceptive, people. So now I wear heels out and around quite often (although not for work-related activites). I like the style and also the comfortable fit; I have very narrow feet and narrow heels which caused me great foot and footwear problems at school and during my mountaineering activites. I stick to fairly 'conservative-looking' ankle boots. Conservative being round toed, block heels, but with 4" height. Both my pairs are great quality Brazilian made from Faith in the UK. I have lived for many years in a fairly exotic location which poses interesting problems for a high-heel wearer, particularly a male. Perhaps as I get to know the forum members I will expand on this. Nice to be here!

[Dr. Shoe]

Welcome! _____________

[Tech]

Hi Aglo Thanks for taking the plunge and registering / posting. Good to hear the new look of the site is going down well and adds confidence in your use of the high heel meeting place. I sincerely hope your time here proves to be both useful and enjoyable.

[jmc]

Greetings and Welcome from another ex-"lurker". I lurked around the old board for almost two years before I registered and now I am sneaking up on 600 posts! "Lurking" is OK, you can learn a lot that way but being an active member is so much more rewarding. There are a lot of interesting people here and as an active member you can interact with them. Welcome aboard!

[Aglo]

Thanks for the welcome. I might as well say now that I live in Kathmandu, Nepal. Believe me, not a town for stilletos! The idea of a flat and smooth pavement here is one for the next century. I've been here for many years and have married a fantastic local girl. She has given me a bit of grief about the heels (this is a VERY conservative society) but has now accepted it, one factor being, funnily enough, the positive comments of my son's teenage friends. So we can now go out together with the heels being a non-issue. I bought my first heels in Kathmandu Bazaar. Pretty frustrating as the maximum size available is a European 39 whereas I am a 41. But the first pair I bought were a 40 - must have been a mistake by the importer, or more likely, they were offered a load of leftover ones cheap in Bangkok, where most womens shoes came from until the flood of Chinese ones in the last year or two. At least they were very wide heel with 4" height and 1" platform, and so easy to walk in. My 'conservative' Faith boots mentioned in my first post are just right for the terrain. Wide and stable enough for me NEVER to stumble, while projecting a look I enjoy. Cheers By the way 'aglo' means high in Nepali!

[HIGHFEELING]

Hello all!

I am male and over fifty, happily married with two kids. I always fancied high-heel shoes but did not seriously think about wearing them until finding the forum and realising that my views were shared by many obviously normal, and often very thoughtful and perceptive, people.

So now I wear heels out and around quite often (although not for work-related activites).

Welcome aboard..... I'm in the forties married with a 10 months baby daughter and I'm wondering if, and how, I'll can tell her of my passion........How old are your kids? Do they know your passion? If yes, wich has been their reaction? Thanks for your reply..

[Aglo]

Hi, Highfeeling, I have to think back now about my kids' initial reaction. Perhaps at first they were not old enough to perceive that my heels were in any way unusual attire. Now that my son is in his teens it has become more of an issue, with him and my daughter having been openly 'anti' (but not in any nasty way). What has been interesting recently is school friends seeing me as 'cool'! Being of an age when peer sanction is almost what you live for, both of them are therefore now much more relaxed about it, so that I can mostly put them on and walk out with them without the 'awww dad, not them' comments. This at least goes for my conservative ankle boots. Anything more exotic would provoke (polite) derision. I'd love to get into a pair of sandals in the hot weather but the family offers not a bit of support in this matter! HF, just keep going, raising a loving, interacting, and questioning family. Things will work out if you are, a) not completely outrageous, and keep everything in the open. Cheers

[dr1819]

Hi, Aglo - Welcome aboard! Wow - what are you doing in Nepal? That's a bit away from home! I'm in a similar situation (though not quite as exotic) as I'm from the states but will be here in Germany for another six months. Whether or not to tell family... This board has seen it's share of stories, that's for sure. My advice is that if you love and want to keep your family, place it above your heeling. If you can do without heels, then do so and don't look back. If you can't, then do tell your family, as they'll eventually find out anyway, and that road leads to a lot of mistrust, while being open and upfront tends to lead towards understanding. It appears to have been more helpful than not when the wives are pointed towards this board, particularly to comments such as these and the threads such as the rockers/musicians/models on runways started by kneehighs, as they clearly show that it's not some underground sexual perversion, but a genuine fashion trend. The fact that some heterosexual fashion designers are wearing heels helps, too. In fact, the more we wear heels in public, in tasteful, fashionable style (particularly if they keep it more masculine), the more other men will wear heels in public, as well. As for lurking, I wouldn't be surprised if Nicholas Cage is a lurker, here, as he's been spotted in heels. Nicholas, if you're out there, send me a PM, as I absolutely love your movies! Don't worry, I won't "out" you. My favorites were Face/Off and Gone in Sixty Seconds. Terrific acting! The Rock and Con Air were pretty stellar, too! Back to heeling... For men, it's merely a fashion choice. Many famous men over the last forty years have worn heels, including the Beatles, Lenny Kravitz, Prince, Motley Crue, Jean-Paul Galtier (fashion designer), and... Help me out, here, kneehighs - you keep a much sharper mental list than I do! In closing, I'd like to say that while it's not common, it's still done, probably by far more men than most people realize. Estimates based upon members of this board, discussions with shoe store managers, including Zappos, Nordstroms, and Payless, indicate there are between 100,000 and 3,000,000 men who currently wear heels on a regular basis. If I had to guess based upon my own experiences and knowledge of statistics, I'd say it's around 500,000, and that between 100,000 and 200,000 do so openly, in public. Not including heel meets (which I've only seen in photos), I've seen more than thirty men in heels in public over the years, and these were not transvestites or drag queens, but merely men who preferred wearing heels. These were also chance meetings, such as the gentleman in an airport who helped with flight planning, or the guy next to whom I played the slots in Vegas, or as passerby on the streets here in Germany. Mind you, these figures are in the US alone. That's rather significant! My latest public outing involving a conversation was in an airport in Denver with a Mary Kay representative who was on her fourth pink Cadillac. I'm not into Mary Kay or pink Cadillacs, but once the conversation moved beyond that, she finally asked me why I was wearing heels. My response was along the lines of, "because I like to." She said, "I'm ok with that," and the next two hours we talked about everything else in life from marriage and kids to careers, to football (a game was on at the time) to the Tour de France allegations against Lance Armstrong. The question about heels came at the 10 minute mark, when she realized I wouldn't become some kind of crazed maniac if she popped the question, and the rest of the time was spent on other subjects. She was my age, and like me, single. She didn't care about my fashion choices. In fact, as one girl put it who is 24, "I love it when a man is secure enough in their masculinity that they can wear heels." I agree. It's not for everyone, and should never become the basis upon which a family dissolves - there's far more to life than the height of a shoe's heel. Families and the relationships which keep them together are much more important. But whether or not a guy wants to wear heels these days is pretty immaterial, as most people really don't care, most girls at the club scenes think it's cool, most employers are bound by laws which require them to allow it provided it's done in good taste (a pair of pink pumps would be frowned on while a pair of block-heeled black boots beneath longer slacks would win the lawsuit hands down, and most employers know this, tolerate it, and work within the law to avoid any such issues, as the negative publicity would cost more than any lawsuit). On a cheerier note, it's simply what some guys have been doing over the years. Nothing more, nothing less. Some guys like wearing heels, too, not because they're feminine, but just because they're heels. Other guys do so for other reasons, but that's not the basis of my commentary today. For the average heterosexual male, wearing heels is nothing more than a choice in fashion. Rare, yes, but does it imply anything else, the answer is no. PS: I've had two girlfriends in the last six months. Both were way cool with my heeling. We broke up for other reasons, but I still talk with both of them several times a week as I've remained very good friends with both of them. Furthermore, both know about the other! Nor was that the reason for any of the breakups. I just think it's cool when I get called by one when I'm on the line with the other, and both ask me to call them back while neither one is jealous. I'd rather have congenial friends that jealous lovers!

[MrsHeels]

Hello Highfeeling and Welcome - Best way to do this is with open honesty. Just tell your wife how you feel and what this means to you, then answer all of her question with sincere honesty. As for your child, if you raise her to except other peoples differences, and your heels are part of the norm in your home, she will be fine with it. I am newly married almost 8 months to Gary0618, who has been a friend for a while, who has the same love for heels that I have. While I am open minded and truly comfortable with other peoples differences, my 29 year old daughter is not. When I first took Gary to meet her, I insisted he wear his heels, so she would truly meet "him". She was not comfortable at first, and worried over her two children age 8 and 10. I asked her to give it time and to simply respect his right to be different. Today I am proud to say that just a few days ago I returned from a trip to NY to spend time with them, where my daughter and I (at her request) went shopping for heels for Gary for Christmas! She actually sent a sales clerk back into the back room to recheck for the proper size of a ladies boots, saying to him, I have to have the right size for my step-father. As for the children, they are aware he wears heels, but are much more concerned he may fall then anything else. They were allowed to know him for the person he is, not the shoes he wears, and they are happy to call him "Papa", no matter what he wears on his feet! I believe it is your attitude that most will adopt. Good luck, Katherine

[Aglo]

Thanks MrsHeels, and thanks for your welcome. You're in a great situation with Gary. I've also always been totally honest with my wife about my shoeware and have only sorrow that she shies away from heels herself, even though I think she really fancies them - but she has incredibly wide feet so that a shoe that is comfortable in the width is all out of proportion and fit on the length. Mrs Aglo comes from a pre-Hindu tribe located in the east of Nepal. While this tribe, a branch of the Rai (pronouced 'wry'), is in many ways much more free thinking than the Hindu castes, particularly on the almost equal status of women, it has not been fully exposed to the outside world for long and retains its own standards and conception of what people should wear and how they should behave. On exposure to an almost completely different society, as represented by Kathmandu, and indeed the UK where Mrs Aglo has been many times, it is only natural to be diffident and keep to observed common standards. Unfortunately, on our trips to the UK, we have never met or seen any male but me in high heels. I'm sure that if it happened a few times it would mean her much easier acceptance. Nevertheless, the current situation is that she is easy on the subject: she acknowleges that I don't look bad in heels (a comment which I very much enjoyed!), that very few people ever notice, that my mum and the rest of my family are pretty relaxed about it, and my son's friends think it cool. As I've said before, I wear fairly conservative boots, but I've thought lots of times about something more exotic, particulary sandals. But Mrs A will have none of it, and I respect this totally. In fact, perhaps I should consider myself lucky; she's kept me away from the overindulgence followed by remorse which poor JeffB has had to suffer. And by the way JeffB, I also must welcome you back - you were a great contributor when I first started lurking, and with your return it just feels like things are back to normal again. From a cold Kathmandu (hey, we got power tonight!) Aglo

[Dawn HH]

Glad to see that the new set-up has enticed you to join us. I think that you will be quite comfortable here. Welcome to the Forum. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Tech]

Hello all! I'm yet another who has been viewing the forum for a year or two without registering. The recent changes to the look of the place has final pushed me to come forth.

I am male and over fifty, happily married with two kids. I always fancied high-heel shoes but did not seriously think about wearing them until finding the forum and realising that my views were shared by many obviously normal, and often very thoughtful and perceptive, people.

Hi Aglo, welcome to the website...

I'm sure your time here will be helpful and fun for both yourself and lots of other members here.

I hope you enjoy the new site and make use of it for many years to come..

[Aglo]

Dawn HH and Admin, Thanks for the welcome. I'd like to have started in a more active way, but I have a job which takes me well away from the net at times to remote parts of Nepal. And, to be truthful, I'm daunted at being able to match the thoughtfulness and eloquence of so many postings (which are such an enjoyable read). But meantime, I get on with the business of wearing heels in ordinary life. Not much in the house as it is four floors high, which allows me and the family to keep warm in the winter while rushing up and down, but is a serious handicap in anything over 2" (the house is recently built to my own design - I suppose everyone will say the building failed on a major ease-of-use requirement!) As my office is halfway up the house stairway I don't wear heels there. I've worn them once for a work meeting somewhere else, and really wondered if anyone noticed except my own staff who are already totally aware. But it hasn't encouraged any further experimemts. The international aid business in which I operate is VERY conservative dresswise and I can't go unsettling clients. One of them recently shook his head and commented about stupidity when a young girl secretary tripped and almost fell down some nearby stairs while trying to skip down in her (not very high) stilleto sandals. My reaction was 'nice look and sound, shame about the ending'. But when I go out around town out of work almost always it's in my 4" block heel ankle boots. I have a stilleto pair of the same height, but the heels have become ragged, one badly so because, on a marble floor, I stepped straight into a 6mm hole drilled for the sliding bolt on the bottom of a door. My first fear was that the heel had jammed in, but I got it pulled back out OK, only to see in anguish that the leather heel covering was all bunched halfway up the heel. The other thing that causes me difficulty with stilletos is that it is much easier to put your foot wrong and stumble. In my eyes, if a male is going to wear high heels, the shoes and the whole dress look should look suitable and stylish, and the walk must be perfect. (Well it seems some of you can do it on 5" pins. Come and see how it goes the streets of Kathmandu, I say! LOL) A stumble or a shake is just NOT allowable. I'm quite happy to wear pants that do not cover much of the heel, and do not stick on rubbers to dampen the sound. As so many have pointed out on the board, and in my whole experience, if you look good, show confidence, and have your own interest focussed on something else going on, people won't notice, moreover even if they do, they will mostly accept how you are without much of a second thought. The only high profile laugh I have had is from a young couple queuing for the plane at London Airport. I wasn't upset at all, but I regret not having turned around to look at them and discussed their behaviour openly - with my wife and in Nepali! Aglo

[Dawn HH]

Aglo:-) You mentioned being able to match the thoughtfulness and eloquence of the other postings. Just be relaxed and yourself and everyone will get your ideas through your postings. Enjoy! Your among friends here. Cheers--- Dawn HH