my mom found my shoes!!

[mules4ever]

hi all today when arrived home i just found out that my shoes where in my mothers room. they where hidden in my room. I don't know what should i tell her when she arrives home.

[hoverfly]

The truth, they are yours and you like to wear heels. After that it's your mother's problem. Nice shoes by the way.

[Dawn HH]

Mules4ever:-) Let your Mom bring up the subject when she arrives home and see where she is going with it. It's obvious that your shoes didn't walk into your Mom's room by themselves and since they were hidden and she found them, you need to know which way her feelings are going on this in order to reply or defend your having them. She may be alright with them and may be on your side. Then again---who knows? Keep us all posted on this situation and hope for the best. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you for good luck. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Dr. Shoe]

I don't know how old you are but you could bring up the issues of privacy and having your own space etc.

[hoverfly]

Hay it could have been worse, it could have been drugs!

[MrStiletto]

Before I put my two cents in just let me say I am sorry I have been for so long work has been driving me nuts. The holiday season was a fantastic one and then the new season style change had its interesting issues.

As for your dilemma I agree with Hoverfly, the truth is far better for everyone involved. I think Dawn was trying to mention that you don't want to start a heated argument. Just point out that your shoes were in your room, and tere should be some level of privacy.

But the bottom line is the are your shoes! Good luck I hope all goes well. Let us know how you make out !

[canadianbeaver17]

My mom knew I wore women's shoes when I noticed a pair gone. I asked her if she borrowed them and she was like "ya, i liked them". So maybe she just wanted to borrow them...lol. I'm sure she will be cool with it. Keep us posted.

[mules4ever]

today when i was with her she didn't say nothing i hope she says something. I am only 16. i hope she brings up the subject to me. the shoes were not really hidden i just left them under my bed.

[Dawn HH]

Mules4ever:-) You would think that your Mom would be curious enough to bring up the subject to you. Keep us posted. Sounds like an interesting topic. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Misazeno]

If you chicken out and get put into a corner, just say you had a girl over. That should get her attention on something ever parent has to deal with, sex. However, telling the truth is the best. How knows, maybe she'll buy heels for you.

[Guy N. Heels]

today when i was with her she didn't say nothing i hope she says something. I am only 16. i hope she brings up the subject to me. the shoes were not really hidden i just left them under my bed.

First of all, nice looking shoes. I'm assuming you came by the shoes legitimately. If that is correct, you are really already "off the hook" .

There is absolutely nothing wrong with you or about you (morally or otherwise) for wanting to wear high heels. One possible approach is to politely ask your mother what she plans to do with your shoes? If she is vague or non-responsive you could then ask for her to return them. If she is indignant or challenging, you could simply tell her that you like to wear high heels and (assuming that she also wears heels) that you are no more perverted or corrupt than she is.

At all events, be calm and polite. Tell her how you like seeing her in heels and that you thought it might be nice to have your own pair. You could offer to share your shoes with her, if she likes them. Do not whine, squirm, or make excuses. Be truthful and honest. You can even tell your mother that there are a whole lot of men who wear heels. Then if she doesn't believe you, you can direct her to this website.

Best of luck to you, and let us know how things come out.

[mules4ever]

hi all! today my mother asked me if the shoes she found in my room where from any girl friend of mine, and i just said they were mine, but she didn't believe it and she thinks i am jocking with her.

[hoverfly]

Well, let in sink in for now. Maybe she will figure it out for her self or ask you again some other time.

[canadianbeaver17]

I think maybe an idea at this point is to take them out of her room and put them back into yours. Maybe leave them out in a closet so she can see them when she's putting away laundry or something. Maybe at that point she will believe you.

[ShockQueen]

I would agree with canadianbeaver17. Just put them back in your room, and see what she does. Of course, you could just get dressed to go out, put them on, and walk by her, but that may be pushing things just a tiny bit too far at first..........but that's just me :-) But by all means, nick them back and see if she nicks them again.

[Guy N. Heels]

Now that you and your mom have addressed the matter you're past the first hurdle. If she insists that they belong to a girl, you could always put on the shoes and show her that they are your fit. (If you are 16, your feet are probably pretty close to being your adult size.) Also, if you happen to have a sales receipt handy - that might prove useful. I don't know about "nicking" the shoes or any kind of sneaking around. I think you'll get more mileage by being honest and up-front about everything.

[Dawn HH]

I agree with Guy N. Heels. Give her time to mull this fact over in her mind and by all means--- be honest and up front, but not confrontational. You might try them on for her to prove a point that they are your fit and are yours. You have broken the ice now and been honest with her, so give her time to think things over and I'm sure that she will come back to you later to discuss this some more with you. Go slow and let Mom develop things at her own rate. If after a few weeks she doesn't bring the subject up again you could ask her if she has thought any more about it and see what she says then. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[balacau]

I had a similar experence while I was away at college. My mom found several pairs of women shoes in my room while cleaning up. She acted liked she wanted to ask me something the night when I was on my home, but one of her friend said she should wait. When I came home, I noticed they were gone. So next morning she asked me about what she found. She asked was I gay and then why I liked to wear them.

Ditto for similar experiences.

I think I posted the start of my "life story" somewhere else on the board so I'll conserve bandwidth and pick up on the latest developments

In 2 weeks time, we're getting new double glazed windows in the front of the house (which includes my bedroom). I had 5 pairs of various styles of boots stashed away in the alcoves under my bed but these had to be moved in order to make the bed light enough to move out of the room when the work eventually starts. So I took them into the garage (in the boxes they came in, wrapped them in palastic bags and put them under a garden bench we have (bring it in in garage during winter). They were hidden quite well under a tarp/plastic cover until last week she found the boxes and knew what was inside.

"What is in those boxes in the garage under the seat?" I got one afternoon when I got back from work. This time at least we didn't argue, at least until I got the "I want you to get rid of them before someone else sees them". I replied as calmly as possible that I had no intention of doing so, that I had bought them (off eBay) with my own cash, and they were mine. I also added they would be stored away securely once the work with the windows was done.

In short, we didn't argue which is a big improvement, and although I sold one pair in a local shop which takes in 2nd hand goods (just because they dont fit me anymore), I still have 4-5 pairs left.

In my limited experience, if the parent tries to get you to get rid of them simply by arguing, they are just not interested in listening; only in getting their own way. Maybe I'm wrong I really can't say it would work for everyone, but if you bought them, they are yours!

I was actually considering getting a pair of 20-hole Dr Martens for last christmas's visit to Canada as they are knee high That would have been almost fun to wind her up but I didn't

Oh yeh, I also go the "are you gay?" "do you wear womens clothes too?" kind of thing. The answer to both is a no, I just love boots with heels.

[dr1819]

Bingo, balacau - it's not a CD thing, it's a fashion thing. It's just my choice of fashion.

[balacau]

Oddly enough I don't really consider it a fashion, more like relaxation? Or so thats how I think of it...maybe it sounds weird I'm not sure how else to explain it. Having the house to myself and watching Stargate Atlantis in 5" heeled boots under my jeans was pure bliss

[NewfieGuyInHeels]

balacau, I just won a pair of Knee high Docs on ebay yesterday. I was quite pleased to see them for a Buy It Now of $25 US WHAT A STEAL!!!!! They have been worn but there are no scuffs or scratches on them, I couldn't believe my luck. My mom doesn't think men wear knee high boots. As she expressed when she saw my Silver Climber boots. But these Docs I just won are men's so there's little she can say about them. They may not have a heel, but I still can't wait to get them!

[Fog]

Mules4ever:-) What you've got to remember in all of this is that you've done nothing wrong. Whereas your mother has invaded your privacy and taken your things. It's as hard being a parent as being the offspring as the relationship is constantly changing. Your mum has to get used to you making your own decisions and she probably will. good luck

[mules4ever]

hi all today i am gonna to put my shoes on and be seated on my computer desk when my mom arrives home to see if she notices me with them on.

[Fog]

Good on you my friend! I wish I'd had the confidence to do what I wanted when I was your age. Let us know how it goes, and remember you're doing nothing wrong - It's not as if you've been caught wearing your mother or sisters' clothes - which would be violating their privacy and posessions and that's as bad as what your mother has done to you. It's about power, your mum thinks she can walk into your room and take your things and boss you around. If you accept her treating you like that she has that power over you. Time to stand up and be a man!

[ShockQueen]

Do let us know how it goes over. It'll be a nice way to break the ice and get a conversation going anyhow.

[canadianbeaver17]

Thats awesome man. tell us what else you will be wearing it with.

[balacau]

balacau, I just won a pair of Knee high Docs on ebay yesterday. I was quite pleased to see them for a Buy It Now of $25 US WHAT A STEAL!!!!! They have been worn but there are no scuffs or scratches on them, I couldn't believe my luck. My mom doesn't think men wear knee high boots. As she expressed when she saw my Silver Climber boots. But these Docs I just won are men's so there's little she can say about them. They may not have a heel, but I still can't wait to get them!

No kidding! I've been watching eBay for ages and never seen any that were in decent condition! Nice ankle boot avatar btw, can you tell me what make they are?

Keeping on topic, I have everything goes well and your mom seeing you in heels will lead you both to talk things through. My mom thinks nothing of going through my stuff, or at least she did until i let myself get "caught" going throug her paperwork. Its been an uneasy "truce" since then. Shes seen the boxes with boots in, but not the boots themselves. I wouldnt wear them in her presence, I guess she'll never understand it at all.

But good on you for not cowering away like me!

[Skirted-UK]

If I were you I would go and collect your shoes from your mothers room before she gives them to a female relative or a friend, after all they are your shoes! When I was 16 I saved for weeks to buy a straight black skirt from M & S, I remember it cost nearly £3, which was a weeks wages for me in those days. But after a few weeks my mother found the skirt and took it into her room, next thing I knew she had given it to my cousin who was two years older than me. The next time she came to tea at our house she was wearing my skirt, she even asked me if I liked it, saying that my mother had bought it for her!!! It took me ages to save up for another one which I hid inside my Hi Fi unit.

[davefry]

The same has happened to me before, just on a bigger scale. I went on holiday when I was 17, and my parents took shoes, boots, trousers and skirts out of my drawers. These were draws under my bed which were facing the wall, so they would have had to move my entire bed out to get in there. Such an invasion of privacy made me quiet angry and upset, but I just couldn't face going to my mum and saying "so, I want my clothes and shoes back". Not that it would have made any difference, she'd already given them to my sister and taken the rest to a charity shop. I was only gone for 2 weeks. Now I use locks.

[hoverfly]

The same has happened to me before, just on a bigger scale.

I went on holiday when I was 17, and my parents took shoes, boots, trousers and skirts out of my drawers. These were draws under my bed which were facing the wall, so they would have had to move my entire bed out to get in there.

Such an invasion of privacy made me quiet angry and upset, but I just couldn't face going to my mum and saying "so, I want my clothes and shoes back". Not that it would have made any difference, she'd already given them to my sister and taken the rest to a charity shop.

I was only gone for 2 weeks. Now I use locks.

Now this is where you stick some large rat traps with your stuff, see then if they want to talk about it face to face, when one or both have their hands wrapped in bandages. Funny thing is what's going to stop you form buying the stuff again any way?? It's like, not illegal?