Guest Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 I'm a new member to the forum and so far I'm having a hard time trying to get the meaning of my messages across to the readers. Half of the people responding to me read my messages out of context or else misunderstand me altogether. Trying to communicate with people effectively is like trying to pull teeth. I can't continue posting this way. It's not just the high heels forum but in every forum. I would be better off leaving the forum and I am going to quit posting here just to relieve me of the aggravation. It's nobody's fault, it's just the awkward nature of message boards. I wish I could delete all my posts here and cancel my registration. I'll come to this forum just to read the posts. This forum is big and has thousands of posts and plenty of reading. If I have a question and this forum hasn't already answered it here then it never will be answered. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Relax, relax, that's all we ask of you, some people on this board can be uneasy to new comers. Like you we have been accused of being some kind of freaks and that only women should wear hh, men should be men even though we are using more of our brains and less mussel to get things done these days. Might I suggest that you take part in others conversations and be politically nice about it and if you have any questions that may be a problem why not Private message me or Yhoo messager and I will answer them for you. Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sendra45 Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Hi, It is tricky, sometimes I see something that I want to reply to, but The words dont come out right, so I delete it, and move on to see what others think. often they have the answers. stick with it and perhaps wait for the right answer to come along. just a thought. Nigel The angels have the phonebox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Hoverfly, it appears there is an impostor on this board using your nickname and posing as you and being nasty. Look up your posts and you may find some that is not yours. This just supports what I was saying that message boards aren't worth my time if hackers can break in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Hoverfly, it appears there is an impostor on this board using your nickname and posing as you and being nasty. Look up your posts and you may find some that is not yours. This just supports what I was saying that message boards are not worth my time to be on with all these kooks on there. Who, me!! Impersonated!! Daaaaaam what an honer.....! People who know me here would say I can be very blunt, but if I offend you my apologies. Like I said before questions you feel you can't post PM or yahoo me I will give you an honest answer. Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 9, 2006 Share Posted March 9, 2006 Hoverfly, you don't believe me? Look at the last message of my own post: http://hhplace.org/hhboard/viewtopic.php?p=103244&highlight=#103244. Did you write that? Is someone else in your household using your computer? Or is this a hacker? If you wrote this then I'm not amused. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Hoverfly, you don't believe me? Look at the last message of my own post: http://hhplace.org/hhboard/viewtopic.php?p=103244&highlight=#103244. Did you write that? Is someone else in your household using your computer? Or is this a hacker? If you wrote this then I'm not amused. Yes, I did write that, you may not be amused but it is as I see it. Many will agree. So lets move along here and sallow our pride, it won't be the first time or the last time. Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmc Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Effective communication can be difficult enough face-to-face between people who know each other intimately (such as between a man and his wife). On a bulletin board, in written text only, communication becomes far more challenging. Many of us "speak" volumes with facial expressions and gestures and there just is no way to emulate them in text. "Emoticons" (or "smilies") help but they do not capture the full depth and breadth of the non-verbal cues we all use. Writing is a skill that can be honed. I would suggest composing your posts offline, using a text editor. Save them off in a file and then come back a day later and re-read them, see if they really capture what you wanted to say. This gives your mind a chance to distance itself a little bit from the immediate situation and allows you to read it more as another person would. I find that the mechanics of writing -- finding the appropriate words, using correct punctuation, making my sentences make sense -- often distract me from what I want to say. When this happens I subconsciously divert some of my attention back to the thoughts that I am trying to put into words. This reduces the "processing power" devoted to writing and in the end I wind up leaving words (sometimes really important ones) out of my text. On a re-read it makes sense to me because I remember what I was trying to say. But anybody else reading it would either get the wrong message or get really confused. Have a happy time! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Not everybody is as eloquent with a keyboard as they are verbally and others are more so. I find that when I write something it makes perfect sense to me but could look like total gibberish to someone else! I usually go through my post and edit if need be. Sometimes I find that the responses indicate that someone hasn't understood what I was trying to say so I find myself posting again to clarify my position. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sendra45 Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 what do you mean? The angels have the phonebox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BeHeels Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Posts on a forum are on average very short, so any idea, emotion or personal feeling has to be described with an minimal amount of words. As a result any misunderstanding of the meaning of a single word can lead to a completely different story than the writer intended. Adding extra descriptive words when posting on a tricky subject would help. But then we could end up with endless posts no one reads The best choice is somewhere in the middle. Don't post novels, and don't deleted every word you thinks is superfluous. And let's not forget that not every member here speaks english as native language, and this adds to the changes of misunderstanding a message. BeHeels --- Going up, up ... --- Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Wow, there are some really good and profound replies here. I know psychology can have a strong effect on our minds and if it's not applied in the right way it can have a bad outcome on us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 Hey Elyssium, when posting on message boards, there are always going to be people who disagree, and some will seem quite rude when they voice it. The thing to do is rise above it, and show everyone your character, and always reply to any criticism, real or imagined with a calm and reasoned response, never let it descend to the level of the antagonist, or they win. This board has the least abusive, and most tolerant posters I have seen on any boards, and I am a member of plenty in other areas of discussion where it takes a heap of restraint from either descending into a war of words or leaving, but mostly I watch the negative and hostile posters disappear as they get ignored, or quietly proven to be wrong. Stay here and chat, some people may be short, or to the point, but they're really a nice bunch, sometimes they may need reminding that they were once new to wearing heels, and the emotion and self questioning that it may elicit, but overall everyone here is supportive, and just offering their unique opinion, which may not be the same as yours but will be a as valid a one as yours. He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 I think I may have discovered the answer to my own original question. I noticed this forum has many 'British' posting here. I am an 'American'. The Americans and the British culture are not the same and they don't share the same values. When I say something to another culture they can misinterpret it and result in a bad outcome. Maybe that's why when I have trouble in these various message boards on the internet because I don't know what country the board is hosted from. This message board address hhplace.org looks like an American hosted board whereas a British board would say hhplace.co.uk. This gives me another reason why I should leave this forum. Being I'm an American I can't interact effectively with the British. If I stay here and continue posting I can predict what will happen, the flames will keep flying. I had this happen to me a number of times before on other British hosted forums, so I know what will happen. British don't like when Americans are too 'liberal' in what they say. British will call 'liberal' talk as trolling. This is not the way I want to spend my time and I will not stand for this. So then I'll just have to say to the Brits 'Cheerio'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 First of all no female has ever wanted to discuss such as crushing in the gals section, unless it's to promoted a web sight and most likely directed at men so it did not belong there. Second it's concedered a fetish so again it did not belong there. It may have been wrong to close it, I would say it should halved been moved, but nobody is really stooping you to start again and place it in the right thread. Because of the nature of this board enforcement is required and bad decisions are and will be made time to time. So let's not over do it, and let't move on. Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 When I talk about my fears of rejection in the public when I, a male, wear high heels members will condemn me for being too wimpy. Now when I post a message members will condemn me for being disagreeable. So what can I do? If I can have the courage to wear high heels in public then I can also have the courage to be disagreeable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted March 10, 2006 Share Posted March 10, 2006 When then, be more descriptive about it, "do strange things" is not a very good one and nobody can relate to you because nobody really have described that wearing hh makes them "do strange" things. That’s why we are having difficultly in communication. Also might I suggest if you have not all ready, that you read the rules governing this board, maybe that will help you out on how you should proceed on this board. Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 There is a difference between the two subjects you compare. There are rules on this board as there are in most boards, and also in real life, you broke the rule of where to post your particular topic. Now wearing high heels in public breaks no rules, or laws, just some peoples personal taboos, and the majority wouldn't care. I am like you shy of wearing hh outside, but have done and would again. I'd like to see you hang around here, and air your views, but only in the right places, that's why the board is setup with so many categories, so those who want to avoid certain topics can, but those who want to discuss the more fetish side of things can also have their own places to post. I am liberal enough to view almost all categories, but get put off by some of the topics, but it's easier for me to avoid them as long as they're in the right place. It's your choice, but don't condemn the whole forum because your post in the wrong place got locked, just move on and post in the right place to get an answer. He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sendra45 Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 Shyguy, you say this board has the least abusive and most tolerant posters you have seen on any boards. Well, here is a link to a post I made. It has been locked by the administration so that nobody can post there. Why would they lock this, I don't know why they did? By looking at the first two replies the posters were already breaking the forum rules by telling me I can't ask this question there. Those two posters weren't being very tolerant of my message at all. I think the administration (in my opinion) saw that and decided to lock my post so that I won't get any more inapproprite remarks to what I think was a very good question I asked. Now, if the administration thought this post shouldn't be there then they should have deleted it and perhaps PM'ed me about it, but instead they silently locked it and so I had to make this conclusion. This experience with members behavior around here is quite disturbing and again gives me reason why I should leave. My message to all newcomers thinking about joining this forum is don't come here unless in all your posts you agree with everyone or else face abuse. http://hhplace.org/hhboard/viewtopic.php?p=103171&highlight=#103171 I know the original topic of this thread is on bad communication and now I'm talking about abuse which is a different thing, but it's true how bad communication and outright abuse go hand-in-hand. Okay, In the interest of fair play, this topic that you want to continue is in the ultra high heels and fetish section. All I would ask is that you look after the thread and keep it a live. BTW I did not lock this post, so I hope I have not upset the moderator that did. The angels have the phonebox. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jim Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 When I talk about my fears of rejection in the public when I, a male, wear high heels people will condemn me for being too wimpy. Now when I boldy post a message people will condemn it for being out of place. So then just like me having the courage to wear high heels in public I can also have the courage to post where I want. If I have to put up with these kinds of contradictions from its members then that gives me another reason to leave this forum. Make no mistake, this forum sucks. "Y'all want some cheese with that whine.... " jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jim Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 BTW..I've noticed that some posts on the board have been locked down because of spam. Perhaps this was one of them... jim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taliheels Posted March 11, 2006 Share Posted March 11, 2006 elyssuim , relax and stop beating yourself up - you wont be the first or last member to take things personally and be offended in a forum, i reckon its happened to all of us at some stage or another Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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