Gripe with the board

[taliheels]

work and family in particular as you mention brings up an intresting paradox for me scotty -due to the restrictions it places on me i have limited oppotunires and when i get them i grab them by squeezing into the highest heels - its like getting the keys to a ferrari or a family saloon and i always grab the ferrari keys- and like a ferrari high heels are as you say impractical- but then thats the price for the ultimate in sexiness.a tapering spikey stilettoe doesnt have to be a ferrari, likewise it can be a pair of wedge heels

[sscotty727]

work and family in particular as you mention brings up an intresting paradox for me scotty -due to the restrictions it places on me i have limited oppotunires and when i get them i grab them by squeezing into the highest heels - its like getting the keys to a ferrari or a family saloon and i always grab the ferrari keys- and like a ferrari high heels are as you say impractical- but then thats the price for the ultimate in sexiness.a tapering spikey stilettoe doesnt have to be a ferrari, likewise it can be a pair of wedge heels

That is why I drive to/from work in my 5" pumps

[sendra45]

Hi. My two pennies worth. Any type of shoe that is not the kind of boring tan/black/flat/ugly thing that us guys are made to wear by retailers should be welcomed here. Us Guys have to put up with so much dross and un-sexy styles, anybody that dares to wear something different should be heros. long live all of us! Nigel.

[BlondeBimbo]

I agree with sscotty727 on this point, people do seem too eager to deride others with different interests.

We all have different reasons associated with this forum, in my case I started with high heels, I guess when I was 15 or so, since then I have worn heels pretty much every day since then. (Certainly every working day.) So I have worn heels on a daily basis longer than I haven’t!

So although I am clearly interested in heels, it isn’t anything special to “need” a forum, in my case.

However I started to get involved with Ballet boots, and needed some advice - which I did receive from a couple of forum members, so that was great and met the need. I always try to giveback more or as much as I take from anywhere – so did look to stay a wile, during this time I found the site very friendly, more so with the off-topic areas such as “type of car” etc. so at that point a very friendly and welcoming site, lots of humour and fun.

Of course there are areas of little interest for me – the guy’s area mainly – though hoping no one minds if I do see an interesting topic I occasionally contribute!

There are areas where I do not understand at all and cannot relate, for example one thread “Driving in high heels” – to me I wear heels, I work, I travel by car – ergo I drive in high heels, so very difficult for me to see anything special or exciting in it (In my case it is a special event when I don’t wear heels! – at least I can heel & toe then ), in this case I could either not contribute at all, or give just a quick, neutral comment – I chose the latter.

However – something I have noted recently is that that does not appear to be the “normal” behaviour, on this site, for as a number of people have indicated; there appears to be a tendency to take this opportunity to call or degrade others! – A more “appropriate” comment – taking the style and often seen behaviour from this site is some sort of comment along the likes of: “You sad ****, you *** + insult + more insult + offensive remark, + derogatory comment, + put-down + comment as to why I am much better than you etc. etc.”

Is this something new, or something I have only just noted – I don’t know!

From this thread I would think it is the latter, but there again, having read between the lines it is apparent that there were more girls on this site “but for some unknown reason they have left” probably indicating that it is not just a recent thing.

It is as if most people, rather than taking the funny side of comments - clearly meant to be humorous, instead appear to go out of their way to take it in the wrong tone, using this as an opportunity to get into the catcalling, I am sure we can all find instances. :evil:

Is this behaviour “catching” from certain other threads – perhaps, but I think we all need to think before we jump-in to insult others, just because I don’t agree or understand with another’s point of view – I should still respect it.

As an aside, as indicated above, I have worn heels once or twice over the years, yet indirectly I have been told that being female I would be too stupid to know if a pair of shoes are comfortable, or of good quality, that just because I wear shoes all day and find them comfortable – they must not be because they don’t have x, y, or z… and the list goes on…

For me it is this aspect – the “I know more than you” side of it – “you know nothing” attitude – after all it’s a penis I am missing – not a brain!

Is it really necessary to deride others if their interests don’t line up with yours?

The answer of course should be no, - but then why do people have a penchant on here for doing so?

BB

[sscotty727]

BB, Excellent remarks and observations. As you pointed out, alot of people are here for different reasons. Guys are more here for advice, support, feedback, etc on just wearing heels in public or how to go shopping for them, etc. There are a few (such as JeffB) who does wear them daily and can offer alot of insight into not only going out in heels, but how to coordinate outfits, where to buy, comebacks when you get negative remarks, etc. I see alot of women more into the fashion part of heels or as in your case, talking to others about ballet boots, which was new for you. One of the problems that drove alot of women away were men invaiding the "For Women" board. Now, as Firefox has said (atleast back then, not sure if it still applies) men can comment in the "For Women" section, but only as long as they stay on topic. Alot of times, we had men that would jump in and take over, or as you found out, guys put you down on shoes YOU wore every day. Given that you wear high heels everyday and for many more years than most guys here, you should know what is comfortable and what isn't. I can certainly understand someone asking "Does wearing those kind of heels hurt your feet?" and letting you answer. I can't understand someone saying "Anyone who wears those kind of heels will have foot problems" since they don't know what you experience. I think as you put it, it's all in the "tone" of the message. I am certainly guilty of that as well at times and I think we all need to stop and think before we just post. As far as guys posting in the "For Women" section, you being a moderator there now, that is something you are going to have to decide on and then asking the rest of us to respect. Given that alot of women dislike men posting over there, I have always tried to not post there. I think as long as we all stop and consider not everyone is the same, not everyone wears the same heels or even wear them for the same reason, we should all get along just fine. However, if we start trying to push everyone into the same direction (For example, there were times I felt everyone was trying to push me to go try on heels in a shop instead of buying them descretely. Not everyone wants to confront that). Thanks for your comments BB. You always have alot of good insight. Scotty

[dr1819]

I believe this board at one time established that a high heel is somthing 3" and up with no platform.

I think we need a new go at this as different feet, different sizes, different builds...

Heel: Everything above a flip-flop.

Low Heel: Everything that seems between a flip-flop and half the highest height they can comfortably wear while walking around town for a while.

High Heel: Everything that seems between half the highest height they can comfortably wear while walking around town for a while and that highest height.

For example: a flip-flop is 0.

If the highest height I can comfortably wear while walking around town for a while is 4" (and in fact, that's the case), then:

0 = No Heel

0-2 = Low Heel

2-4 = High Heel

4+ = Extreme Heel

But that's my scale. Other people can wear 5" heels all day long. Their demarcation between a Low Heel and High Heel, should you choose to accept this mission Jim and use this rating scale, would be 2.5".

Extreme Heel: Anything higher.

[sscotty727]

I guess I saw BB's side when this was brought up before. Why are we trying to establish a rating system anyway, bragging rites? As you pointed out, the height depends on the wearer. Those that wear Ballet Boots have no problem with a 6" heel. Anyone that wears a 6" heel alot would have no problem with a 5" heel, etc. For me, I can't find descrete heels in anything higher than a 3" to 3.5 " heel, so with my inserts I am probably closer to a 4" heel. Would I love to find a true 4" or higher heel? Sure, but they don't make them the style I can wear to work. So for me, 4" or higher becomes a challange, but only because I can't walk regularly in a heel that high. If I was able to wear 5" pumps on a daily basis, then 4" would be nothing. So again, not sure why we are trying to have a rating system for heel hight in the first place? It seems its more of an individual basis as to what is easy/comfortable to walk in vs challanging. Scotty

[hoverfly]

Correct me if I am wrong but industry conceder a heel around 2”, 2.5" as a mid or medium high heel. Any way what does it matter, most people would not blink seeing a man with such low heels for instance like the Cuban heel and cowboy boots. It's the aspect the a man wearing women's shoes that most people see it this case.

[taliheels]

on "my scale" anything under 3 inches is def low heel

[Shafted]

on "my scale" anything under 3 inches is def low heel

Isn't that considered nearly a flat when you're wearing your plats, taliheels?

[flavio]

All I want to be here is as true as possible. I think that if everybody says exactly what they need and feel without hurting another ones, this forum will continue to be a happy place among friends, exactly what I felt when I first entered here. True comments are written in this thread also. This is what makes life interesting for me. People are different.

[Francis]

Again we have come back to the argument of "if you can't think of someone nice to say, then don't say anything" Doesn't mean to say that you have to agree that a certain style or height is bad, boring, ugly or anything that makes the person feel bad about having chosen the shoes they are wearing, but merely say something like "Not my thing, but more power to you". Being helpful and forthcoming about your tastes, but don't ram them down someone else's thoat just because you don't like them or their choice in footwear. Personally, I don't like wedge style shoes or boots. They just don't have that 'thing' for me and similarly, I'm sure, my boots and shoes aren't a lot of other peoples cup of tea, their bag or thing. I'm don't dislike the person who ears them and therefore don't insult their intelligence or feelings by posting a negative remark regarding them. There are far too many of us that don't apply brain before typing and therefore, sometimes inadvertantly, insult another thus causing a kock on effect making the user feel bad, insulted, unwanted or disliked. That is not the purpose of the forum. We all came here with the same purpose, to increase of awareness, enjoyment or just meet new people who have a similar interest, maybe meet some of them, enjoy each others company and respect one another for the person they are. Too often we lose sight of life's simple pleasures and this board is one of them. Would you start a fight in the middle of the street because someone disagreed with your views on footwear. No, you wouldn't. Although I have started one for others reasons only to find that I was misinformed and therefore offered my apologies to the guy. We're quite good friends now. He knows about my footwear preference and is happy to accept that I wear what I wear because I want to and that it doesn't make me a different person. The essence of this board is to assist others, whether they be masters of heel wearing, full on Fem, part time hide in the closet or lovers of high heels in all their forms and styles. If you don't like a style then don't insult the person wearing them with negative comments. Let's keep the board positive else we run the risk of not growing into a force to be reckoned with. Remember that the manufacturers of shoes and boots read these pages as well. If all they find is bickering, then how do you expect any improvement in fashion styles?

[Firefox]

I don't know if any manuacturers or fashion type buyer people would read this site. I'd like to think they did, but in all probability they are looking for mainstream trends for volume sales, and this forum could only be regarded as a special interest site in most people's deinition. I feel a little alienated from the guys forum at many times. This is because there are threads about driving in heels or discrete/closet wearing ideas or how to buy shoes in a shop (!!!). While I respect those views they are somewhat remote from what I do. Like BB, if I go to work in heels I would generally drive in them or whatever, and I wouldn't think twice about buying whatever shoes I wanted in a shop. So sorry to be slightly off topic there; that's my personal rant. I don't really fit in any forum

[dr1819]

Yeah you do, Firefox - you fit in all of 'em. It's just that you're leading the way. A lot of people haven't caught up, yet, but they will, in time. You're more like Heelfan or DawnHH. You just do it. I can't wear heels on the job, but I wear them all the time elsewhere, whether it's at home or at a pub. Some people notice. Nobody cares. It just is. We're simply trying to encourage others to get over their fears, that's all. Just an encouragement for you to keep plugging away. Sorry I missed the heel-meet - I was really looking forward to meeting my online friends of the last couple of years!

[sscotty727]

Firefox/BB, Of course you both fit in here. I am sure there are many threads you don't feel like you fit in just as there are threads I don't feel like I fit in. I very much enjoy reading each of your posts and it is always nice to get a different perspective on any topic. Both of you contribute greatly with the board and I am sure I speak for everyone when I say your hard work and dedication is very much appreciated by us all!!!! Scotty