Tales Of Acceptance

[JeffB]

I thought I'd share this little story with you in the hopes that other will share their tales of acceptance of men in heels so that lurkers to this board who might be too afraid to venture out in public in the shoes they favor might take courage from our exploits and break their chains of fear as we have. I've been wearing women's shoes to the office every day for almost two years now, and, for the last several months, I've worn nothing but pumps. On Monday, I was showing off a new pair of pumps I bought from Payless to my co-workers who've accepted me for the shoes I choose to wear. Everyone was impressed except for one lady, our department's resident fashion plate who grew angry and grumbled at me: "Black again! Why do you always wear black? Why don't you try another color?" I found that a little humorous, and reassuring at the same time. I've been so accepted by my co-workers that one of them actually got into a snit because I only wear black! So you see, public wearing of high heels by men can be done, and acceptance is possible. You just have to go out there and do it! Sitting in the closet doesn't solve anything! As for the color question, well, maybe I'll satisfy that co-worker's complaint and expand my horizons!

[ShockQueen]

Hee hee hee hee.....that is cool! They got into a snit because you ONLY wear black? That's GREAT! I would definitely take that as a sign of reassurance and go for it! Once you get your foot in the door (no pun intended) I'd say you can pretty much throw caution to the wind and just start co-ordinating your heel colors to what you are wearing, just like your co-workers do (if they know about that sort of thing anyways). Best of luck with it. Let us know how it turns out! SQ

[ShockQueen]

I'll add a tale here as well.... I've been wearing heels for a long time, and it wasn't until recent years that I've been able to wear them openly - I think moving 2 states away from my family had something to do with that. I guess it's the curse of having 95% of your family in one place, but that's another story. I've been reading about JeffB's experiences about wearing heels at work, and kept thinking to myself "Well....why not?" I discussed this idea with some of my friends, and they thought it was a cool idea, so I started slow, and wore some flat black 5" platform boots with chunky heels (THIS is starting SLOW?), but there were no negative comments about them! I wore them for a while, and then wore my thigh-high black patent boots (same sole style), then switched to white when I wore jeans. Again...nothing bad! Then I decided to start pushing the envelope just to see how far I could go. I wore some black leather 4" stiletto-heeled boots one time, and there were either no comments, positive reinforcement from my co-workers, as well as my supervisor, or looks of amazement with questions of how I could walk in them. Nowadays, I wear black pumps or 4" boots most of the time, although this last week, I really pushed it when I wore a pair of white platform sandals with 7" heel and 3" rise with red and blue straps. There wasn't even any negative reaction to those! I don't know if it's just this company is THAT cool or what, but I'm a lot more relaxed, a lot more confident, and I feel a lot better about myself since I broke that self-imposed barrier in my mind. SQ

[Geoffrey]

Acceptance does not always happen to be. Here in the Netherlands are many people who hate gay-people, especially muslims! It doesn't matter if you're straight or homosexual, they often say that you're gay! Today I wore my 4" ankle boots just for a walk and I tried to avoid people who hate gays, but the people who saw my shoes just looked and didn't laugh. The next thing I'm going to try is to wear my heels at work. I sell shoes in a store so I can buy heels with discount

[Firefox]

I'd always got the impression the people in the NL were very tolerant of sexuality. I've been there a few times (and I wore heels with no problems). I think it's a cool place and probably the place I would choose to live in Europe if I didn't live in the UK.

[Geoffrey]

I know but you are talking about Amsterdam, Rotterdam and other big cities, but The Hague is a city of hate and I hate to live there, but I have to get my final diploma there. There are many people who don't really mind about it, but it are the college people (14 to 17 years old) who mostly give negative comments about my fashion. They already did complain about my nailpolish.

[Geoffrey]

Only a few young people I know respect my fashion. My best friend also does and 2 girls from high school

[terayon]

well even that is a start

[JeffB]

Acceptance isn't always easy, regardless of where you live, but hey! You have to start somewhere!

[Geoffrey]

I surely agree with that. But hey, I live in a dangerous place full of people who will judge you before you even said something.

[Arctic]

It's defenitely difficult at times, even if you live in a tolerant environment. But we got to be consistent and persistent. I try not to be offending but just enough to push things forward, slowly but steadily. Went to a hardware store today to pick up a regulator for an alternator, it was full of rough 'n tough guys and I crossed the parking lot in full view of a lot of people. I was wearing 4" heeled boots, which are about an inch quare. But I didn't get a single comment. They may mock me behind by back, but so be it. I think that is the way to get acceptance. Use them often and on many places and act like it's as widespread as Nikes. Bert

[Geoffrey]

Thanx. I'll do that. Besides, I already know how to act when boys are laughing at you. I just continued passing them by without looking at them.

[JeffB]

Another sign of acceptance for the shoes I choose to wear: the other day, I finally was asked my very first "How's the weather up there?" joke!

[Dexter23]

A story about my first outdoors experiance I got up at 10 and First i got dressed in blue jeans and a t-shirt, got me some breakfast. Then I got my backpack and put my 4" platforms in it, after that I got on the bus, and at 11.35 I got on the train. At twelve o'clock I got to Rotterdam. Once there I walked into a big mall and looked op the toilets. Once in there I put on my high heeled shoes and walked outside, at first it was strange to walk in high heels, It is diffirent to walk a longer distance than form my computer to the tolet. I went on the escelator to the basement and then I got outside in them. I walked into a shoe store and fitted a pair of black 3" boots, some people looked up but most didn't even notice that i was wearing high heels. After about 1 hour my feet got sore and I went to an mc.donalds there i got a medium soda and sat down for 30 minutes. After that I went into the toilets and put on my "normal" shoes. I think peolpe must have been thinking stnge things. I walked into every shoe store I saw that day and looked for some shoes to buy. At last I bought a pair of 2" ankle boots. This was about 5 years ago and I have learned al lot since, about wearing heels. Dex.

[terayon]

great story! did anyone comment on ur boots?

[Dexter23]

Only verry positif. thank god. even my mother liked them. dex.

[JeffB]

See? It can be done? All it takes is the courage and the commitment to go out there and do it! Congratulations, Dexter!

[Dexter23]

Now I am looking to push the envelope and go higher. In a few weeks I want to buy some knee boots with en more challenging heel. Dex

[ShockQueen]

I say go for it! It can be done....all it takes is the will to push forward. If I can get away with wearing 8" platform sandals to work, then anything is possible! All together now! WALLS DOWN! HEELS UP!! ***WHACK!!*** There goes another chunk o' that wall!

[Dexter23]

8" ????? damm I think It will take a long time before I can wear shoes like that to work.

[Yamyam]

Well, while I'm waiting for IE6 to download... I went off to a friend's for the last UK bank holiday weekend, just to get away.

I went down to an old friend's house near London, to stay for a couple of days. I'd decided to arrive in heels, but on the day had a total bottle failure about 2 miles away, so stopped and changed. (Note to self - that's how to attract attention). When I arrived, I found that another old friend was already there.

I decided to go for it. These two chaps have accepted all kinds of odd behaviour from our Uni circle over the years, and so I went for it. I popped into the spare room and changed into my extra-long jeans and my fave 4" vanes. I nervously tiptoed out again, and took a deep breath. Neither of them looked at all bothered. Fifteen minutes later, we were off to the shop round the corner for me to buy a couple of bits.

Some more people turned up, one I knew, and some I didn't. Not a word, even though I was bouncing around all over the place in my heels. Then we went to the pub, and I got rather drunk. Oh, best make that 'drunker'. Several more friends there, and again, no-one said anything. I was sat next to a friend's girlfriend, and I was sure she'd twig, but no.

We wobbled back drunkenly to my mate's house, and partied some more, before I crashed out. I wore trainers the next morning, and went shopping at the local shops in them. Then I went to another friends (the one who'd been at the first friend's house) for the evening.

All he said was 'Can you drive in those?' I told him that I can. We spent another fun evening with me appreciating the full power of his 512K internet link and stuff. The following morning I had to drive back up to work, so I put on my normal length jeans. Then I found out I'd left my trainers in the car, so I had to put my heels back on, and leave in those. I changed them before going back to the office, and spent the rest of the day smiling mysteriously .

So there you have it.

[ShockQueen]

Congrats on your adventure, Yamyam! I'm glad it went well for you .

[azraelle]

WHAT ARE "VANES"??

[terayon]

ugly shoes congrats yamyam, sounds like ya had fun

[Yamyam]

On 2002-05-26 23:30, terayon wrote:

ugly shoes

congrats yamyam, sounds like ya had fun

Uh, I thought vanes were like wedges, only narrower at the bottom. I thought you and me, Terayon, were the big fans of vanes and wedges.

And I did have fun... apparently I phoned my Dad from my mobile whilst drunk too. Still, he's used to it by now

[Calv]

Hi Yamyam, I like your story. We are going to have to meet up for a beer or two one night. Here's my story of today. Having read of the London meet today I figured that provided I could get the day off work I could go along. Couldn't ring into the office until 9am and needed to be on the road then to drive to a convenient train station. I put on a pair of long wide leg trousers that go nicely with heels and a pair of 3.5" loafers. Packed some boots in a bag and set off. Plans thwarted somewhat when I phoned the office and realised we were short staffed and no way could I get the day off. Luckily I took a pair of black jeans and normal heels so had to stop and change my trousers and shoes. I was looking forward to outing my new boots with a 4" spike heel and 1" pointy toe (Brantano), spent all day thinking what I could be doing instead of sitting in an office. Moan over. Xaphod should be up in the midlands next week or so so what about a beer or curry? (heels optional)