bucko Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 Wondered if anyone out there could give me some advice. I have long been an admirer of high heels on women and would love my wife to wear them. She has always said that she is too tall to wear heels as she would "tower over me". Now I do understand what she means but would still like her to wear them round the house for me. Anyway last week I bought her a pair of nice high heels and gave them to her suggesting that she might like to wear them for me. Alas she wasnt impressed and suggested I try the local street corner for a woman to wear them for me slightly harsh to say the least. Anyone else have this dilema and suggest anything I might try to change her mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bigj3650 Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 Well the thing is you cant MAKE a woman wear heels if she doesnt want to..you could ask her nicely and buy her heels thats perhaps 3" high with a chunky heel then ask her to wear them indoors for you. if not then you cant force her J Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 Forcing her or pleading with her to wear something she isn't comfortable with or feels is "fetish" will only alienate her and make her feel like you care more about shoes than her. I think the best thing you could do is go shoe shopping (in the mall or online) with her. Let her "drive" and maybe "nudge" her (wow honey, those boots are kinda nice, I bet they would look fantastic on you) but also complement her on her choices. I think if she sees you care enough about her to take time to "shop" with her, you might be able to slowly strike a compromise. Maybe not what YOU want 100%, but hey, love and marriage is give and take, right? Scotty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 Wow! Now, that's what I call a "hard case." One thing about her reaction though - there's no doubt in your mind what she thinks of the idea, is there? (I wonder how she would react if you came home some evening towing a tarty dressed woman wearing 6" platform heels along behind you and saying to her: "Honey, I took your suggestion. This is a girl I found on the street corner and she has agreed to wear heels for me. Do you mind?) :rofl: Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PJ Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 What concerns me is that you mentioned you are a long time admirer of high heels on women and yet you married someone who does not share your interest. When I was searching for a partner, I made my interests well known. I chose the person who met the expectations that were most important to me. And one of those included the wearing of high heels. There is no easy way to convince someone to do something they are dead set against doing. Afterall, she can always argue that you chose her for the way she is. You have to make a decision as to just how important it is for you to have a spouse who wears high heels. click .... click .... click .... The sensual sound of stiletto heels on a hard surface. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anita C. Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 I must say that they're only shoes, babe! Yes, I love wearing my 5.5" stilettos BUT I know I'm in the minority. Not many gals feel the need & that's ok. If you love her you must accept her...AS IS! I know this isn't what you want to hear but it is what it is & from what you have shared she ain't gonna change & it'll be a long & frustrating experience for BOTH of you two if you keep ragging on her to do something she has repeatedly expressed she has NO interest in doing. I'd encourage you to think of all the things you like about her. Then think about what your life would be like WITHOUT her... Namaste', Anita C. "Spike Heels . . a Pork-pie hat . . Have on the mend in no time flat . . Ten Minutes 'Till The Savages Come by Manhatten Transfer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXT-1 Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 I'll put it this way some people Like Mopars, some people like Holdens (australian eqivalent to Chevrolet - some holdens even had chevrolet engines) Me I like Datsuns and Chevs (Chevrolets) and I not ashamed to tell people either! but heels are like cars, some people love them, some people hate them, and some people see them as just a mode of transport! hope what I said make sense to you. later, TXT-1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey S. Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 Yeah, if she doesn't want you can't force her, unfortunately. And that's all to it. Maybe you start to wear heels when around the house or in public? Let's see what happens then... ;o) @TXT-1... Holdens (australian eqivalent to Chevrolet ...) ... I thought Holden was GM? At least when I'd been to New Zealand last year those 'Holdens' looked awfully like what we call 'Opel', 'Vauxhall' or even 'GM' in Europe. What do you think? CU! -Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffM Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 Well put TXT Yes you are right Mickey. The company is General Motors Holden, the Australian branch of GM in the US. The cars are like Opels and Vauxhalls but do have changes to make them better suited to Australian conditions, so they have us believe. I think mainly we have a bigger engine as standard than they do in the UK and Germany. The small one is a 3.8 lt V6 and the larger one is the GM Gen111 engine 5.7 lt. (its not Gen3) I think also the bodies here are stretched slightly to make a bigger car, but that could be incorrect. Have you heard of the V8 super cars that are raced in Oz and NZ? Isusu in Japan is also owned by GM. Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormie Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 She has always said that she is too tall to wear heels as she would "tower over me". Now I do understand what she means but would still like her to wear them round the house for me. Anyway last week I bought her a pair of nice high heels and gave them to her suggesting that she might like to wear them for me. I think my feelings have already been made well known on the rants forum, but anyhoo... I dislike towering over my boyf too. He's only half an inch taller than me, so even thick-soled trainers can make me taller than him. If she, like me, is already hung up over her height then heels really aren't gonna make her feel much better. (In case anyone's wondering I have worn heels to the cinema with Shakedown now and I spent much of the time slouching so I'd still be shorter than him, can't have been attractive.) Buying shoes for her is a really bad idea. If she doesn't like heels anyway, you run the risk of buying some she really doesn't like (and clearly didn't, given her comments). If you want to buy a pair of shoes for her, then go shopping with her and choose some together; what she likes may not be exactly what you like (e.g. perhaps you like stilletoes but she'd prefer block heels) but you may be able to find some middle ground. You can't force her to change her mind - and it wouldn't be fair to try. You need to accept that she doesn't like heels, just as much as she needs to accept that you do. Go slowly, don't pile heaps of pressure on her (another reason not to buy shoes for her) and maybe she'll slowly begin to be more willing to wear them for you. She needs to decide for herself when the time is right to or she won't be happy doing it. If you are too open-minded your brains will fall out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steve B Posted November 20, 2004 Share Posted November 20, 2004 At the risk of sounding like a broken record, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Black 5-inch stilettos - the only way to go! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bucko Posted November 21, 2004 Author Share Posted November 21, 2004 I agree with all of the above and I would not force her into anything. We met as school children and have been married for almost 25 years so there must be something I like about her even if she does wear flat shoes I have tried stearing her towards heels when out shopping but she is adament she wont walk around taller than me and judging by some of the above she is not alone. As for Datsuns Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rob Posted November 22, 2004 Share Posted November 22, 2004 What is your hight difference (if any)? If her being taller than you really is the issue, some mens shoes can make you up to an inch and a half taller than with no shoes. Consider this when you next buy some shoes. Certainly don't try to push her in to wearing heels. This will make her think that you are not satisfied with her. As others have said, you could try the nudge her in the right direction when shoe shopping - but don't go for the 3 & 4 inch heels. Instead suggest lower heels (after all low heels are better than none), but don't make a big thing of it. - Slowly and gently. And when she does wear nice shoes, compliment her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mickey S. Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 Let me digress again for a moment ... The small one is a 3.8 lt V6 and the larger one is the GM Gen111 engine 5.7 lt. I especially liked 'The small one is a 3.8 lt...': That's actually quite huge for German conditions already. If you would ask a German cardealer if (s)he has your desired model with, let's say, a bigger engine than a 2.5-lt-one, you would get an answer like 'Trying to take part in the Formula 1 or something?' ;o) -- Okay there's some Mercedes, Audi and BMW on the roads with up to 6 lt engines but those are extremely rare and damn expensive (to get and to operate). A common engine in Germany is around 1.8 lt. ( (its not Gen3) I think also the bodies here are stretched slightly to make a bigger car, but that could be incorrect. ... Hm, didn't measure them... ;o) CU! -Mike Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayZee Posted November 23, 2004 Share Posted November 23, 2004 >bucko I fully understand your situation, as it, in many ways, are the same as mine. "You don't like me, you like the shoes" - "It will ruin my feet!" - "I'm not like the porn-stars on the Net/video!" etc. etc. is my wifes reaction! I love my GF, but unfortunately I wasen't clever enough to tell her about my fasination of high heel on one of our first dates! (Don't think many guys do???) We are in our 40's and have been together for 10 years, and I don't (think I) have a fetish, "just" a fasination! I think a relationship is giving and taking, and both have to change or adapt, not into totally new persons, but just small things! First she was OK, and very sexy with the shoes, but then she think it "just got to much!" and she put the shoes (worth over 250£) in the garbage! Let me tell you: That is not the way to do it! - and I'm sorry that I don't know how to do it! But if you find out, please let me know! Good luck! JayZee "We don't stop playing because we get older - we get older because we stop playing" (with high heels - JayZee) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nate Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 I have tried stearing her towards heels when out shopping but she is adament she wont walk around taller than me and judging by some of the above she is not alone. As for Datsuns Well then, I believe the solution is obvious! You're goign to have to go out and buy some 5" heels to wear, so that YOU're taller than HER! Then she'll have to go out and get some heels to make up the difference! Good luck! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PJ Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 ........I love my GF, but unfortunately I wasen't clever enough to tell her about my fasination of high heel on one of our first dates! (Don't think many guys do???) We are in our 40's and have been together for 10 years, and I don't (think I) have a fetish, "just" a fasination! ......... Wow .... ten years together and no marriage commitment? If she nags you about it, then offer a compromise ..... wear heels and I'll marry you :rofl: I know a former co-worker who lived with his girlfriend over 10 years. They finally got married, then divorced 5 years later. Go figure ..... One thing you must take into account. When a person is very serious about not adopting some kind of practice, the more you try to convince them otherwise, the more upseting it can become. click .... click .... click .... The sensual sound of stiletto heels on a hard surface. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 Wow, relationships can really be complicated, can't they? Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 After reading all of the posts here, there is one thing that seems to pop up again and again. Your wife doesn't seem to like to be taller than you and her wearing heels will make her taller. Maybe this would be a compromise to satisfy you both. If she will let you wear heels, (Chunky ones under long boot-cut jeans), this would allow her to wear a shorter heel and still be a bit shorter than you. Approach her with this idea and see if she will go along with it or not. Maybe you both could have a bit of fun wearing heels, not only in the house, but in public also. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stormie Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 A nice solution if it's the only problem, but you need to find out what the exact problem is. She might just be saying it to hide the real reason, which she may not want to tell you to avoid hurting you. If she doesn't like wearing heels anyway, then putting yourself in heels as well isn't going to distract from her discomfort (in fact, it'll probably add to it). But everyone's different, you need to find out the problems before you can solve them. If you are too open-minded your brains will fall out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mk4625 Posted November 24, 2004 Share Posted November 24, 2004 Consider the reverse situation. What if your wife wanted you to dress like a cowboy, biker, or construction worker during sex? That would be completely unacceptable to me because it would mean I would have to wear men's boots! Michael Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 Stormie:-) Excellent suggestion. Good food for thought. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heelsRus Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 Consider the reverse situation. What if your wife wanted you to dress like a cowboy, biker, or construction worker during sex? That would be completely unacceptable to me because it would mean I would have to wear men's boots! I'm already a biker, so no problem :-) Yes, I know.... and it's a good point you make. Well worth thinking about. It cuts both ways. Bue you can't have sex on a bike, I don't care what you're in - it's just not safe :-) Might be ok if you wore a helmet I suppose. Come to think of it, maybe you could on a hardley driveable or Goldwing - they're big enough to practically drive themselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JayZee Posted November 25, 2004 Share Posted November 25, 2004 We have been together for 10 years WITHOUT marriage, and I think we will never get married (mutual agreement!) as we both have 2 kids (4 all together!) from our first marriages! Getting married will make things very complicated, and where we live (Denmark!) that is not unusual at all! Above have nothing to with the "heel-problem" though! Regards JayZee "We don't stop playing because we get older - we get older because we stop playing" (with high heels - JayZee) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted November 28, 2004 Share Posted November 28, 2004 Thanks writing in, it's nice to hear I'm not alone, my GF isn't really at all keen on heels. Some times I walk through town at lunch time and see office ladies wearing some great shoes and secretly wishing my GF was more keen on stilettos and would wear them for me. But hey, she's great in many ways and I love her for who she is and I wouldn't change her for anything!! Sometimes I'm lucky and she will 'dress up' for me. Maybe it's only once every month or two months but I make the most of it when she does and compliment her as much as possible and make sure she knows I appreciate it. Maybe it'll happen more often if I'm lucky? I've bought her shoes before (which is difficult in itself) from ebay and stuff and it hasn't gone always gone that well. First i bought her some kinky black thigh high PVC boots with 5" metal heel. She actually quite liked those as she'd love to be catwoman for the day but then she's only worn them 3 times in about a year, but then that's 3 lukcy times for me, they are very sexy. I also bought her some very high fetish 5 1/2" black courts (pumps) but as she's only a size 5, thats very very tall for her and she really didn't like them, she's just not used to that kind of height and it was painful for her, so I've never asked her to wear them again. Anyway, I'm babbling on, just wanted to say you're not the only one, go easy on her, hint in a very subtle way at times, love for who she is and maybe you'll get lucky. Bob. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffM Posted November 29, 2004 Share Posted November 29, 2004 Bob Is it possible that you are asking your GF to jump in at the deep end before she can swim. The shoes/boots you mentioned are high for her to wear when she obviously doesnt wear them that high. Maybe if you tried a pair of elegant heels for dinning out or clubbing only 1/2 an inch or 1 inch higher than she normally wears, she might wear them them a lot more often. And if by chance they are suitable for work she might just start wearing them to work, ( honey you arent getting a lot of wear from these shoes, if they are comfortable to wear why not wear them to work on occasions.) allowing the two of you to buy another pair, a little higher in the heel. Slowly with your support she could work her way up to a heel height that you would like her to wear and she would not just feel sexy and elegant in them but know that she was making you happy at the same time. Jeff Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted November 29, 2004 Share Posted November 29, 2004 JeffM:-) Sounds like great advise to me. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted November 29, 2004 Share Posted November 29, 2004 Hi Bob, Maybe you should make a day of going shoe shopping with her one of these days. Pick out some you like but also let her pick out ones she likes. From there maybe the two of you can move to a nice compromise. I think by just spending time with her and taking the time to see what she likes will make an impression on her. With my wife, we occasionally go shopping now both in the mall AND online. She still buys alot of stomper type shoes (which I let her buy and wear) but I have also noticed she is starting to look at more heels. Not 5-6inch stelleos, but 3-4 inch block heeled boots. Definitely nicer than stompers. Also, maybe you should make a point to try to take her out somewhere dressing on a regular basis (fancy resturant, play, opera, dinner cruise if there is one near you, etc). By being around others dressed in heels, she might take a subtle hint there PLUS she might be appreciative by you taking her out to nice places;) Just some ideas. Good luck, Scotty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bubba136 Posted November 29, 2004 Share Posted November 29, 2004 The two main stimuli trigging women into buying shoes are having purchased an outfit and seeking the perfect pair of shoes to wear with it; and buying the perfect pair of shoes and having to find the perfect outfit to wear with them. Seldome, if ever, does my wife purchase a pair of shoes for herself just because I happen to like them. There have been times, however, that she has purchased idendical pairs for me, but our tastes are so completely different because my motivation is strictly on what I like and her's has to be practical, in addition to being to her liking. Afterall, she get's to match the color with the dress or suit and a lot of the styles she buys just don't go with trousers (or; I wouldn't be seen dead wearing them ) Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted November 30, 2004 Share Posted November 30, 2004 Sscotty727:-) Bubba136:-) Great ideas and suggestions from you both. When shopping together with your wives, it gives both parties involved a chance to see the likes and dislikes of each other in out-fits and footwear and sometimes a common choice comes out of this. Not only that, when you go shopping together, there is a common bond and enjoyment for both in spending time with each other in doing something together that you both enjoy. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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