Thou shall not be used

[Pascal]

I just want to stir it up a little bit.

This post is to be read like a thought process.

Nothing personnal against anyone.

Who gives a damn if you like to sleep with women or men, or both.

If like most of us in here, you are a man, and you wear different type of heeled-footwear, automatically somebody, someone, somewhere has categorized us in his mind.

If that person had enough courage or empathy or lacks any filter, we may have known about this since this human being which interacted with us on a given day might have asked questions about our current footwear. It might have given us the opportunity to speak in words what otherwise has been shown in actions.

How many of us in here has had the courage and the decency to address our passion for heels up front, with our significant other?

I was lucky enough to do this and God did was the only path to freedom and true love.

Don't be shy, embrace this côté of you, this folie. But if you feel that it is taking hold of you, and that objects are becoming more important than human relations, you are on the wrong path.

Don't forget that we are on this good earth to blossom into the best ourselves we can be.

Don't let sexual pulses ruin what have taken years to build, and never forget that unless we believe in some pharaonesque-religion, we won't bring our wonderful shoes with us in the afterlife.

What matters most is to be genuine, sincere, truthful. Become a truthsayer and never forget that fear is the mindkiller.

We need to be frank about our passion for shoes, but we must also understand the boundaries our loved ones might put.

Communication is key if you want to build relations that will last a lifetime.

I happen to be lucky enough to have a loving wife who understands that I have a feminine side. 

It has nothing to do with a political agenda, nor with whatever flags or étiquettes or tags that might be bestowed upon me.

As human beings, we are so complex, so unique, so... rich! So powerful and yet so weak tout à la fois.

Embrace who you are, never forget who you are, where you come from, take time to tap yourself in the back because of all the steps you've taken, boldly, slowly sometimes and jumping on other days. 

Don't let anyone use you and abuse you. First and foremost, yourself.

Because i've been for a long time my worst saboteur in life. 

Hope you fare well in your life-path.

This forum is great and I hope somehow my little message can give hope to an aspiring heeler who needs to cope the courage to face his fears.

If you engage on a truthful path, you shall be hurt for sure, but those who will remain by your side will truly know who you are and love you without any masks or hidden truths.

Be a truthsayer. Fear is the mindkiller.

P.

 

p.s. : Yeah, Dune is awesome. Go read the book. In heels.

[pebblesf]

OK, well your post was alot to take in, not sure I quite understood everything.  

I'll start with one of your statements that rings all to true for me.  "Worst saboteur in life".......  That's me!  I remember my mom always saying  "you, are your own worst enemy".  I was too young, scared, and unaware to feel anything but resentment about her saying that back then.  But, now that I am older, and wiser, I realize she was correct.  I wrestled with so many things when I was young, tried to fit in, even though I never would/could.  Did my best to ignore my sexual urges and love of boots!  What a terrible mistake indeed, wasted so many years of my life not liking myself, and trying to convince myself I was something I was not.  One important benefit of age is that I just don't give a crap about what others think anymore.  I love wearing boots, and think I look pretty good in them as well, which is all that matters.  I just wish that I will have an opportunity to help one young man avoid wasting all those years away like I did, that would mean alot to me.  

As for your relationship advice, spot on.  I think I should have worn my boots on our first date, it is so important to be upfront with this!  If your prospective date doesn't like our footwear, little time will be wasted on prospects that are a poor match.   Needless to say, I messed that up as well.  Keeping my love of boots a secret, allowed the relationship to progress based on a "lack of full disclosure".  My partner HATES my love of boots, even belittles me for wearing the most tame cowboy boots to work.  I understand to a point, I think he says my love of boots as "the other man".  Needless to say, I don't wear my boots around him, only while I'm away on layovers.  Guilty of lack of full disclosure for sure, but a little "acceptance" on his part would go a long way.  As we all know, our love of heels/boots can not be denied, nor do I have any intention of getting rid of my boots.  I guess this would be another goal of mine, help another young guy who is into heels get more comfortable with his desires to the point of being able to wear his heels in some public settings, so that he can avoid getting too deep in a relationship without full disclosure.  

Society would love us to believe that sexual identity is as clearly defined, like the colors black and white.  We all know that just isn't true, look at the diverse membership we have here, all types of men love wearing heels!  Don

[hiddenheels]

That post was intense, but pebblef's interpretation rung true for me too. I was my worst enemy. No one cares. (well, my partner does, so it's a no-go at home) Blamed myself for so long, and acceptance did not come until recently, after decades of struggle and confusion. If I could go back, and provide some wisdom to myself, this would be one of them. Alas, that is not to be, but hopefully I still have a good number of years ahead of me.

[ohnoberty]

All the bullets listed and the additional comments sound like we're all referrng to the same book, our book of life, experiences, tolerance, concealment, revelation and so on. Maybe we should all get to gether and write a book on this, might change the world, for the better.

@hideenheels, it sounds like we're on the same page of the same book, how strange is life.

[Pascal]

My bad if my post was somewhat all guns blazing. Perhaps writing in french is considerably different than in english, I tend to write in a flammatory style I guess. Anyways.

Thanks for your answers. Yeah, I think a collaborative book on the subject would change the world, for the better, starting with our own lives, which is the only thing we have a little control over!

And that is exactly my point in fact, let us be ourselves with or without these etiquettes or categories. If they suit you, that day, fine. 

My own political agenda is : don't give a *("/&( , respect , honor, truth.

We all go to the same place when we die, tomorrow might be too late to wear heels... or be who you are!

P.s.

 

I also somewhat wrote this message to give myself courage.

Have a good day all!