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Men’s Fashion Advice Article


Shyheels

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If you are looking for an eye rolling chuckle, or simply to exercise your annoyance muscles on the proposition that such people even exist, let alone are given a platform such as The Guardian to express themselves, read this self indulgent article purporting to give fashion advice for men over fifty - specifically what not to wear. 

https://www.theguardian.com/fashion/2019/mar/16/what-not-to-wear-if-you-are-a-man-over-50

It is written by a man who says he turned 50 in 2017 and saw the light and now he is passing on his wisdom to the great unwashed who have not the benefit of his intellect or taste. No, he doesn’t mention heels, either way.

He does insist that men over 50 give up their Converse trainers in favour of unbranded leather trainers (he gives suggestions here: “you can’t go wrong with The Nimble at £295”) Of course. I’d been just thinking that as I read along, nodding in agreement. Not. 

The rest of the piece gallops on in similar vein.

Reading this dispiriting ponce made me think gleefully of the poem Warning by Jenny Joseph from whom I would much rather take fashion advice -  When I am old, I shall wear purple...

https://barbados.org/poetry/wheniam.htm

 

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Phfffftttt - - - I didn't get to far before I decided he was full of - - it !!

He obviously doesn't live where I do, makes way more than me, and spends a lot more too.

Soooo - - That being said, What does a 50 year old dude wear in these parts. First off, Camo is OK because you still go out hunting, You may actually find more time to do so. Carhart Jeans are always in fashion, but pricey, so you go with the cheaper option at Walmart, or the cheaper brands at your local Tractor Supply or Rural King stores. T-shirts in the summer are typical fare, but that U2 shirt may be an out in lieu of something like a Team MLB / NFL shirt. Cooler temps mean Flannel, and then progress to hooded sweatshirts. You have to wear a hat of some kind because less hair means to much sun on the top side, and being half baked all summer isn't good. Chevy / Ford / IH / John Deere MLB / NFL are all cool options in any crowd. Sneakers (again the cheaper fare at Walmart) are good casual dinner at a chain restaurant- - Unless your wearing coveralls. Muck boots then are your best option - - Kick the curb before you go into that Gas Station Subway.

Need I go any further with this ??

Oh - - and in the last couple years, anything with an American or Confederate flag, 2nd Amendment and MAGA is considered a good fashion option.

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It wasn't as bad as I expected. I didn't cringe nearly as much as I thought I would. Then again, being from where I am, I am used to cringing a lot these days, so maybe I have become jaded. My favorite line was, "Don't cut [your chinos] too short at the ankle, though, like the young kids do." And then one of the photographs shows a presumably over-50 gent with his chinos ROLLED too short, something that T.S. Eliot suggested nearly a century ago. 

I suppose I should let it go, but I was actually considering the purchase of some Adidas Stan Smiths. It's what all the Vietnamese kids in Hanoi are wearing. 

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