It's Been A While... And, An Idea.

[kikepa]

It's nice to be able to come back to a place where I can say what's on my heart without others freaking out. Today, I've been in 4" heels since 6am. It's now 9:23pm. What I really like about this place is that no-one here would ever freak out about this! Or the fact that I'm wearing not-men's clothing. That's really not the major issue, though. I was ill over the last two weeks. Simple listeria, if I'm not mistaken. The symptoms fit. Meanwhile, Mom and Dad think I've been drinking again. If I were, however, I'd either be very much more ill than I was, or dead. On to better news... For the last couple of years I've tried to change the world. Unfortunately, the world has not embraced men wearing heels, nor have they pulled their heads out of their butts when it comes to politics. Back to high heels: Are we approaching this in the wrong way? Instead of trying to go over the top, perhaps fashion designers should stop trying so hard and should take a more palatable route. Not so much guys wearing 4" heels down fasion runways. Perhpas 2" heels.

[HappyinHeels]

kikepa, Nice to see you are better. You can't and shouldn't wait for the world to embrace men wearing heels but you should embrace yourself before embracing others. You must resolve to live your life on your terms and not condition the quality of that life on when some fashion designer gets around to paying you heed. Look around and you'll see women wearing men's shirts, running shoes, cowboy boots, and fedoras. You know fedoras made famous by Sinatra, Vince Lombardi, and George Halas and now they are seen on women wearing 6" heels! Women never waited for anyone to accept them or embrace their wearing of these things once the exclusive domain of men. For every membee here that takes the step outside in the footwear of their choice there are 15-20 more that ponder it but do not act. Some of these later discover they were worrying about nothing while others cannot muster the courage to get past their mental obstacles. Many of us create our own prejudices and then imprison ourselves within this fortress of fear. Remember that you are an expert on your own life and must take charge of it at all times. I know many of us would love to meet in person but until that happens we must draw from within. A supremely confident person has a very deep reservoir to draw from. One's confidence is both their currency and their fuel to be the change they want to see. Be strong, be confident, be free. HappyinHeels

[kikepa]

Wow. I hope HIH's response is reposted for many years. It's one hell of well-written comment, perhaps of of the best I've ever seen here on this forum. I'm very appreciative of his comments, and am working on a response. He put a lot of thougut into it, in fact a very huge amount of thought, time and effort into his reply to my post.

[Shafted]

Just remember that someone usually leads the way with any fashion trend. They're not waiting for society to catch up.

[iggy_ze]

I guess that makes the someone the sole leader. Ian

[Mike Hinch]

As far as waiting for the world to change somehow I have found that it has changed. Ten years back I totally loved to go out wearing a skirt but the only way that I could do that was in full DRAG but now I can go about any place that I desire in what ever skirt that I like to. Still some reservations like no stilettos with the kilt. The best way to change the world is to do it like I did. Some of my first heels were Famolrie wedge and that did take some getting use to. Anyway it may not really be the world as others see it but the way I see it but still there was a change as now I can go out in a skirt and maybe it will catch on with others.

[Steve63130]

I don't think we necessarily have to change the world. We just have to change our world view and realize that no matter what we wear, there will be people who will applaud us and those who would scorn us. You'll never please them all, so stop trying. Just wear what you want, aim to please yourself, and if there are others in your life who are affected, communicate with them and let them understand where you're coming from. If there is conflict, do your best to work it out. It may take time (took me 20 years for my wife to come around to approval and support) so be prepared to take baby steps and go slowly. But don't wait to start the journey. We don't get younger as time goes by. Steve

[kikepa]

I don't think we necessarily have to change the world. We just have to change our world view and realize that no matter what we wear, there will be people who will applaud us and those who would scorn us. You'll never please them all, so stop trying. Just wear what you want, aim to please yourself, and if there are others in your life who are affected, communicate with them and let them understand where you're coming from. If there is conflict, do your best to work it out. It may take time (took me 20 years for my wife to come around to approval and support) so be prepared to take baby steps and go slowly. But don't wait to start the journey. We don't get younger as time goes by.

Steve

Wise words, Steve. You know, thinking about it, if I were to step out in heels, I might get some derision. Probable less than I expect, though. Heck, when I started wearing a firearm a couple of years ago, I thought I'd get a huge amount of feedback. Result? Most folks have been very appreciative of the fact that I carry, and I get together with a local group that supports our 2A rights.

Back to wearing heels in public. I haven't done so in a while. I do so all the time at home. Just haven't outside my front door. Perhaps this is just what I'm comfortable with, now.

[Foxyheels]

Here is a funny thing I get more negative comments when wearing my football clubs shirt than when I am ot and about in heels. (For those not from the UK, we have a history of a very small amount of football fans going to matches purely to fight, but this is 20 years ago.) I am instictively considered a trouble maker and people fear me or look down on me as a ignorant thug with low intelligence. The point, as others have made is that some people judge you no matter what you wear so a negative vibe is always likely but overall a man in heels draws no issues. I am still surprised by how little they react and I wear heels very regularly. Ok I don't wear pink 5'' stilettos but they are clearly heels and little or no negative comment ever comes my way.

[kikepa]

Here is a funny thing I get more negative comments when wearing my football clubs shirt than when I am ot and about in heels. (For those not from the UK, we have a history of a very small amount of football fans going to matches purely to fight, but this is 20 years ago.) I am instictively considered a trouble maker and people fear me or look down on me as a ignorant thug with low intelligence.

It's amazing how the actions of a few extremists can give a bad name to the whole lot. I've never pictured as one of the extremists, though, so you have my understanding and support!

The point, as others have made is that some people judge you no matter what you wear so a negative vibe is always likely but overall a man in heels draws no issues. I am still surprised by how little they react and I wear heels very regularly. Ok I don't wear pink 5'' stilettos but they are clearly heels and little or no negative comment ever comes my way.

I think that may be that while a minority here are extremists, we're not out getting into fights about it. Society has grown up over the years. Where we used to barely be able to tolerate differences, these days we're able to tolerate most differences, provided people don't step over the line and actually bring harm to others.

I've been thinking a lot lately about my direction in life. I've been trying to change it, but it's been difficult.