Scared about my feelings

[Tigger]

As of late, I have been having these feelings like I want to wear high heels. I know my wife will never approve of it, and I don't want it to become an issue where it breaks up my family. I have three children, and would never want to be separated from them. Just not sure what to do. My wife has caught me in her clothes before, and that nearly ended our marriage.

[zepan]

Welcome to the board, glad to see another Aussie joining. Like you, I know my wife would not like me in heels. She knows I like them but does not know about my collection (20 pairs) I have to play things safe as I also have kids. Sorry I could not give you and tips on what to do but you are not alone. MM

[Tigger]

Thanks. I feel better knowing I am not the only one. One question though....where do you keep your collection then?

[IBL70]

Hello and welcome ! I confirm you're not the only one ! I'm sure you are a good father and a nice husband . Take care and hope you'll find a way to live your passion .

[scrappycoco]

I would first like to start by saying hi and welcome. I would also like to offer some advise to you that was given to me by a very smart and wise lady. When it come's to wearing heel's or any other article of women's clothing for that matter the worst thing you can do is hide it. By hiding it like she said "It make's the person you are hiding it from feel like you are hiding more than just that from them and that you can't be trusted". I'm not saying toss on some heel's and stand there and talk to your wife about heels while wearing them. What I'm getting at is just set her down some day at some point with out no kids and talk to her about it and see where it goes. Just do not force anything on her she may not have an issue with it then again she might. Like my couslar told me once it may be one of those thing's where"you have to agree to disagree" if that make's sense? I think the fear that most women have when it comes to this is 1. Is my man gay? 2. Does my man want to be a woman? 3. What will the family of my kids friends think? The list could go on and on. For me I am at a point right now with my wife where she complain's about it but I have went out a few place's with her and my girl's in heels and she never really said much about it. If you look back through some of my post's you will see my wife does not like or approve of me in heels or skirt's for that matter. My girls how ever stand behind me on the subject and my oldest doughter's best friend knows I wear heels and skirt's and is cool with it. Now I have no idea if her mom and dad know's if they do they have never said anything to me. So anyway that is a little peace of advise that I hope helps.

[Bubba136]

As of late, I have been having these feelings like I want to wear high heels. I know my wife will never approve of it, and I don't want it to become an issue where it breaks up my family. I have three children, and would never want to be separated from them.

Just not sure what to do. My wife has caught me in her clothes before, and that nearly ended our marriage.

Welcome to hhplace, Tigger scrappycoco has some good advice. However, this desire that you have to wear dresses and high heels will not ever go away. And, try as you might, you will never be able to stop. I fully understand your wife's feelings. No woman wants the man they've chosen to be the father of her children and her life long mate to be anything except a macho male type. So, you've some very "heavy" decisions to make. None of them good for you in heels and dresses.

One bit of advice I'll pass along for what it's worth......Count 20 years forward from the birth of your last child and mark it in your memory. That is the date that your obligation to them is complete. All three should be on their own by then.

While no man wants a confrontation with their mate about any of their habits, your family responsibilities require that you continue to suppress these desires, with only occasionally allowing yourself brief periods when you can cross dress, wear heels, or otherwise "be yourself."

Unless the opportunity to honestly discuss your feelings with your wife occurs before then, after your children have "flew the coop" and are out on their own, is the time to come clean with your mate and tell all....and then live with the consequences. She might leave you or she might be more understanding at that point. At least the children won't be harmed if she does.

You're screwed anyway you chose to handle it..... The consequences for you aren't favorable what ever you do.

Just one piece of advice that is "for sure:" Never, ever, as in "never ever" think that you are deficient, inadequate or inferior just because you have a desire to cross dress. Because it hasn't anything to do with your manliness. You are every bit a "man" as is any other male on the face of this earth. And, you are not the only man on the face of this earth that has a desire to wear high heels or dresses. Your wife is very fortunate to have selected you as her mate.

So, even though the next several years are going to be difficult for you, you've just got to "handle it."

[Addicted2HHs]

As of late, I have been having these feelings like I want to wear high heels. I know my wife will never approve of it, and I don't want it to become an issue where it breaks up my family. I have three children, and would never want to be separated from them.

Just not sure what to do. My wife has caught me in her clothes before, and that nearly ended our marriage.

Hi Tigger. welcome to the club. I told my story a short time ago, and i simpathise with your situation. I only came out in front of my wife a couple of months ago. I fully agree with Bubba. You will never get rid of the feeling you are having now. Mine lasted 45 years, and i finaly had to give in. I wil not give advice on what to do, But believe me, when you finally come out, the feeling of relief is incredible.

What i can say is do not wear her clothes. They normally hate to share their clothing. Rather go and buy your own.

PLease keep on writing, we would love to hear any news from you and may it all be good news.

I'm sure every body here @ HHP supports you.

[mtnsofheels]

Greetings Tigger, Welcome to the HH place. I do sympathise with your situation. It is a difficult and awkward situation to be in. What to do, and this is my opinion after having found out by trial and error (heavy on the errors), key I think, is to be honest, honest with yourself first off. By stating you do have these feelings and it is OK to have them and to feel good about having those feelings. As mentioned by Addicted2HHs, the feeling will never go away, many of us have struggled with that feeling and beaten ourselves up over it. Be kind to yourself you are worth it. The second part is to be honest with your wife (she probably is closest person to you in your life), if she is able to listen to you and your interests, this meaning just listen and not see you with any shoes or clothes on, this is meant,not trying to change her but to hear yourside and ask how she feels about it (you may know already). This sets the terms of understanding of your relationship and what is acceptable by both of you. With that said you will feel better because it is off your chest and then you then would have to decide how deal with it from there, that is the next stage. At least you will feel better about being honest, and knowing what you can or cannot do. Because as much as it may difficult to bring it up, it is way easier than having her finding shoes and clothes and that you have been hiding from her or a litany of other assumptions which can come from these kinds of interests, like, Are these some other womans? etc... You have the support from many of us, but only you can drive your boat. Life is so fabulous, we only have one chance at it and its up to us make the best possible life from that chance! Good luck and hope it becomes easier for you. You can always ask for help.... Mtnsofheels