The 20/60/20 Formula

[JustJenny]

There is formula that many use to break down a given group of people. Its the 20/60/20 formula and I believe it can be used with this forums members, men and women alike. 20% will believe that wearing your footwear of choice is only defined by your personal likes and dislikes and gender has no bearing. 20% will believe that "womens shoes" are just that, for women only. While 60% are confused/inspired by desires, fetishes, compulsions, curiosity or anything causes them to push the boundries. While I accept that the men on this site that wear heels do so for a multitude of reasons, I think there is one common element. We all want to be understood. Acceptance would be a great as well as participation from our significant other or peer group. I feel our biggest fault is our "rose colored glasses". As I write this I'd assume that I'm speaking for those that rarely post or pop in from time to time and read. However catagorized, they are the non- vocal majority. I think a majority of people here would agree that in general terms of fashion, it's not what you wear but how you wear it that makes statement. Sometimes that statement could be considered positive while other times it could be considered negative. The statement you are trying to make shows in your choices. Imagine a woman with the stereotypical perfect body. Imagine that woman wearing the stereotypical sexy outfit. A nice visual image right. Now imagine that same outfit on the stereotypical unattractive body. It's not so pretty anymore. We see this in the media all the time whether its movies like "Shallow Hal" or commercials trying to get us to buy their products. I would estimate that many here have on their "rose colored glasses". When we look at ourselves we see what we want to see or perhaps what we desire to see. The reality is that most people don't know us well enough to understand us, so through their eyes, we look out of place. Some will respond to what they see as out of place, with unkind remarks, while other will make no comment at all. I'm sure every reaction in between could also be found. For the most part, I live the stereotypical "normal" life. I work, I play, I have a wife and children. My addiction to heels does not control me. And fortunately I can afford to spend whatever I choose on shoes for either my new wife or myself. Everyday i seek a better understanding of myself so that I may share that information with those most important to me. Jeff

[lorriette]

You may wish to amend your profile, given the content of that last paragraph.

[JustJenny]

This account was created during a previous marriage and we both used it. I hadn't really paid much attention but I will change it.

[Histiletto]

Most male heelers are viewed as fetishists or fanatics, because we have been living in a world where, much of the time, we are the only people that we actually know, who are willing to exhibit the desire to wear high heels on a non-business basis. Everyone else, if they have such desires, hide their proclivities to heel and seem to stay within the boundaries they think society allows. I know this position well. Perhaps when it is more fashionable to wear the heels, the closeted 20% are wearing anyway, more will join the other 20% of the active heeling roster. The 70's saw many men in high heels, but the whole look was driven by those in the pop culture of the time which were the ones who were seeking for their voice to be heard as they weren't happy with the establishment then. When the popularity of the disco sound waned, so did the public use of guys in their chunky platforms and blocked high heeled, multi-colored oxfords. Yes the heels were high, but the thick platforms kept the rise of most shoes and boots under 2.5". Furthermore, the heels worn by males were oxford type footwear. They never really ventured publicly into the court shoe and sandal styling many males in the forum are wearing now.

[roniheels]

I was in college during the 70" disco era and I wore "those" high heeled shoes every day, every where, all of the time. Many, many men, all ages, shapes, and sizes, wore high heels. I, like a few other guys, even wore heels that were higher than the woman I was with. But Histiletto is correct. Sadly it was a "fad" or "trend" that drove the wearing of high heeled footwear during this period of time. I hated to see them go out of style and I imagine based on some of the posts here, many other men and women did, too. I didn't quite know how to react when I read this initial post. I didn't know if Jeff's comments were an opinion or a negative look at men wearing high heels. There have been a few who have posted at this site and were adamant that high heels were for women only, and men should not be wearing them. Some felt so strongly and argued with other members that they were banned from the site.

This site is for people who enjoy high heels, whether it be seeing them, seeing others wearing them, or wearing them themselves. I've always tried to encourage the members here to be yourself, be happy with yourself, do what makes you happy and comfortable, and enjoy life. Not everyone is going to agree with your thoughts and opinions and lifestyle. But they are your thoughts, opinions, and lifestyle. There are some here, like myself, who have worn high heels for years and continue to do so, even in public. There are others who wear high heels in private and also enjoy that experience. No one is ever going to please everybody. Like the song says, "...you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself."

[Steve63130]

I was in college then, too, and I also liked wearing men's heels as much as I could. I had a pair of 4" block heel mules with a 3/4" platform (but it was a D width and too wide for comfort), a pair of loafers with almost a 3" block heel (got married in them!), and a pair of sandals with a 4" heel and about a 1" platform (which I couldn't wear comfortably). I have never like oxfords, so I didn't have any of those. Bring back the heeled styles of those days! Steve

[HappyinHeels]

JeffnJenny, Great comments and observations about a decade I remember well. Sure we all see our world through some type of rose-colored filter but this may be the human need to be optimistic. You astutely point out that the common denominator is our need to be understood. As I have said before the need to be understood has it's taproot in each human being accepting each other human being AS IS, no preconditions and no involuntary modifications. Indviduals thrive when they are motivated and they are most motivated by positive reinforcement. That is the real purpose and strength of this forum--the power to share that positive reinforcement so that we grow as human beings.We stand ready, I stand ready to assist all to understand themselves. That's our mission while we are her on this big blue planet. HappyinHeels