badger Posted April 16, 2003 Posted April 16, 2003 We are moving my dad into a nursing home this week. While we were cleaning out his closets we found 3 pairs of heels in his size, not my mothers, along with many photos of dad in drag. My mother is really upset, but can't to angry with him because he is suffering from alzheimers and can't remember anything. I guess I know where I got my interest in heels from. He is too far gone to talk to him about this. Does anybody else out there have a dad into heels? Everyone should wear boots!
Francis Posted April 16, 2003 Posted April 16, 2003 it's certainly a different twist to the story of how you got into heels do you think it may have been a genetic trait? I never knew my dad so will never know on that front. Sorry! But you seem to be finding a few answers to your own riddles. I take it your mum had no idea at all about his heels and crossdressing. What does she think of your wearing heels? It may answer other questions. definitely an interesting discovery! Let us know if you obtain any further information on the subject, it may prove to be illuminating.
squirrelheels Posted April 16, 2003 Posted April 16, 2003 Wow, that is a shocker indeed! Are the heels your size?!?! If so......... Does your mum know about your heel wearing? If not, what would she say given the recent discovery? I wish your dad all the best... SH Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
Alex Posted April 16, 2003 Posted April 16, 2003 Very weird indeed. You didn't have any idea that he did drag? Sorry to hear you had to move him into a nursing home. I wish I was a size 10
micha Posted April 16, 2003 Posted April 16, 2003 Hello Badger, my dad was dying by cancer three weeks ago. No, he didn't leave behind any "suspicious" shoe closet. But I will! Now I'm pondering if it wouldn't be better to let my mother and my sisters into my secret (I dared already some shy hints). I don't want to die leaving behind a shocked and eventually disgusted family micha The best fashion is your own fashion!
squirrelheels Posted April 16, 2003 Posted April 16, 2003 No... this is why I'm so glad my entire family know. Even if they don't whole-heartedly approve, they know. And it gives me a lot more freedom! Although I don't plan on dying any time soon! I'm only 17!!! SH Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
Highluc Posted April 16, 2003 Posted April 16, 2003 My dad also was (and maybe still is) interested in heels. 30 years ago I even caught him in heeled sandals when I got home unexpectly. My mother knew and tolerated without approving or understanding. At least she admits the facts, my dad denies and tells me to behave like a man. Strange situation, maybe it's a bit in the genes but I don't really care. I don't deny it and am happy living in my heels. Be youself, enjoy any footwear you like and don't care about what others think about it, it's your life, not theirs. Greetings from Laurence
micha Posted April 16, 2003 Posted April 16, 2003 But I'm 50. I still feel myself as young and if I say for joke that I'm 35 everyone believes it But it's time to think about this topic. I'll visit my family the next time on real heels. SH you are right. Naturally I don't plan to die. In spite of my type-I-diabetes it should be at least 75 years. I like the life! micha PS: Be happy to be a 17 years old teenager! The best fashion is your own fashion!
squirrelheels Posted April 16, 2003 Posted April 16, 2003 I think it's worth telling people you know, because like I say, it gives you a lot more freedom. Every time I tell someone, or they find out, I feel a huge amount of relief and I immediately become more comfortable with wearing heels around them... So, micha, I'd definitely say it's worth telling them, or better still showing them - that's how I did it with most people! And yes, I'm very much enjoying being 17 and a teenager! Bar the lack of money of course... But enjoying it nonetheless! And life is definitely worth living to the full. SH Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
HeelHolgi Posted April 17, 2003 Posted April 17, 2003 I think it's worth telling people you know, because like I say, it gives you a lot more freedom. Every time I tell someone, or they find out, I feel a huge amount of relief and I immediately become more comfortable with wearing heels around them... So, micha, I'd definitely say it's worth telling them, or better still showing them - that's how I did it with most people! I think, it´s easy to say that, but it´s more difficult to do that! I`ve a GF since 7 years, and she doesn´t know my preference to wear heels. And I still haven´t found a possibility to tell her. Next week we´ll spend our hollyday together, and I´ll try to tell her about my "special likeing" HeelHolgi _________________ If you like it, do it! PS: Excuse me, about my bad english!
squirrelheels Posted April 17, 2003 Posted April 17, 2003 I think, it´s easy to say that, but it´s more difficult to do that! That's true - most things are easier said than done. But once you've done it, you won't regret it! Next week we´ll spend our hollyday together, and I´ll try to tell her about my "special likeing" Go for it Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
HeelHolgi Posted April 17, 2003 Posted April 17, 2003 That's true - most things are easier said than done. But once you've done it, you won't regret it! Go for it Thanks for encourage me, I´ll try it! (I´ll try to remember my motto below! ) HeelHolgi _______________ If you like it, do it!
squirrelheels Posted April 17, 2003 Posted April 17, 2003 No problem It's always a good idea to practice what you preach! I'm sure she'll be fine about it... Do let us know how you get on! SH Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
HeelHolgi Posted April 17, 2003 Posted April 17, 2003 No problem :)I'm sure she'll be fine about it... Do let us know how you get on! SH I´ll hope so , and I would let you know, what´s going on HeelHolgi _______________ If you like it, do it!
squirrelheels Posted April 17, 2003 Posted April 17, 2003 That's cool Just go for it and you'll be fine. It's worth it! Even if the initial reaction is shock, (like it was with my ex [heels weren't the reason we split]) they'll eventually see some sense in it. One of the ways I justified it to my ex was to compare it to whether she preferred trousers (pants) or skirts... It's just that - preference. (For males this doesn't work... so I try boxers/briefs! It works just as well!). And if they say "Don't you find them uncomfortable?" I say "No... I must be one of the chosen few who don't!" SH Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
mk4625 Posted April 17, 2003 Posted April 17, 2003 The younger of my two favorite aunts Glynnys (who gave me a pair of slides and bedroom slippers when I was 11) visited her cousin Rena a year ago. Rena's husband Brian came out of the kitchen and Glynnys turned to give him a hug. She was stunned to see Brian dressed as a woman. There was no indication in his earlier life (he is 62) that he was into this. Glynnys said he did look good in drag. He is small and slender and fits the clothes well. Rena is completely supportive. She said that other than his crossdressing, Brian is completely as a man with her. After Glynnys told me about Brian she asked, "Are you still wearing high heels?" Michael
luvs2wearthighboots Posted April 17, 2003 Posted April 17, 2003 well, micha I'm one year right behind you and my brother is your age (actually him & I are one year, 3 days apart) so he'll be your age (50) and I'll be 49!! I always get taken for MUCH younger too (like around 25-30, no kidding) yours, Brad
squirrelheels Posted April 17, 2003 Posted April 17, 2003 After Glynnys told me about Brian she asked, "Are you still wearing high heels?" I hope you said yes! SH Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
Julietta Posted April 17, 2003 Posted April 17, 2003 Squirrel I admire your courage and zest, and for someone so young you have wisdom. Badger I think you may have stumbled (excuse the pun) onto something here. Sorry to hear about your dad. Micha my condolences for your loss. Doesn't it seem sad that these poor men couldn't outwardly express themselves? Don't be one of them HeelHolgi. Take some advice from our wise young whiskered member and tell your GF. If she truly loves you she will support you even if she doesn't understand at first. Mk I love stories like yours, because I feel they help other guys realise that there are some open minded and loving people out there that can see beyond the outer covers. I learn something new every day from the people on this forum and it truly enriches my life. Jxx Let calm be widespread May the sea glisten like greenstone And the shimmer of summer Dance across your pathway "Communication is a two way thing"
squirrelheels Posted April 17, 2003 Posted April 17, 2003 Squirrel I admire your courage and zest, and for someone so young you have wisdom. I've often been told I'm mature for my age. All through my adolecence I was hanging around with adults and much older teenagers (siblings and people from church), so I guess that's had an effect on me. Take some advice from our wise young whiskered member and tell your GF. Hahah That made me laugh! (In a good way, of course!) Mk I love stories like yours, because I feel they help other guys realise that there are some open minded and loving people out there that can see beyond the outer covers. I learn something new every day from the people on this forum and it truly enriches my life. Glad to be of help I've learned a lot from my experiences, and if I can help other people using my experience, then I'm more than willing to share it. SH Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
Bubba136 Posted April 17, 2003 Posted April 17, 2003 HeelHolgi wrote: I´ll try to tell her about my "special likeing" After 7 years I bet she thought she knew everything about you. This might come as a shock to her. It isn't every relationship that can stand a shock of this magnitude. Perhaps it would have been best to tell her before you became so deeply involved. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
badger Posted April 17, 2003 Author Posted April 17, 2003 This has generated a lot more response then I thought it would. Thank you for your kind words about my father. I had no idea he wore heels and neither did my mother. Nobody knows that I wear heels either. My mother and wife would be shocked and upset. It isn't even worth trying to discuss it with them. After a little more digging, it turns out that when dad went to Vegas for his annual gambling trip, he didn't gamble. He spent 3 days in drag. This is very strange for us. My sister and I have accepted this. My mother is in disgusted and will not discuss it. Life goes on and it is too short to stay angry for ever. Everyone should wear boots!
Bubba136 Posted April 17, 2003 Posted April 17, 2003 I am very sorry to hear about your father. Alzheimers is such a debilitating and dehumanizing desease. Some Doctors believe it is hereditary. If that is the case, there are a couple of things that occur to me. 1) If it is, and you have the "gene," mightn't history repeat itself one of these days. and 2) what happens if your wife makes the connection and asks you if you share any desire to crossdress or wear heels? Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Yamyam Posted April 17, 2003 Posted April 17, 2003 My dearly beloved Grandmother had senile dementia, and it was very painful. I remember being very relieved when she died, as this person who looked a bit like someone I had loved from birth wasn't suffering any more, and I could go back to remembering my Gran when she was herself and fully alive. She didn't leave behind any secrets... that I found. I plan to tell everyone before I die, because I don't want to leave a surprise, and leave my loved ones alone to try and cope with a broken image of me. But if someone's left you a surprise like that - does it change how you felt about them? Personally, I'd just feel sorry that they felt they couldn't tell you about it when they were alive. After all - we all have each other, and we have our community here, but some other people aren't so lucky. This is the 21st century, but our parents didn't live here, and things were different then. Only fifty years ago in the UK, doctors tried to 'cure' homosexuality. Against this background, I can see how people wouldn't dare tell. It makes me angry and sad in equal parts, but that's how it was. And I guess some older people won't see that it's changed. Badger - I'm sorry about your father. As I've written many times, I'd be lost without my father. I hope your discovery doesn't damage your feelings about him. And yeah - life's too short. Don't be angry! Obsessed is such a strong word. I prefer to think of myself as "differently enthusiastic"
mk4625 Posted April 18, 2003 Posted April 18, 2003 I hope you said yes! SH I sure did! I also told Aunt Glynnys about my thigh boots and asked if she would like to come over and try them on. We were always very close and she named one of her daughters (Michelle) after me. No question of heredity here. Brian is related to us by marriage. I used to think that my younger brother was gay, but now I'm convinced he is asexual. He is a rather successful patent attorney. I wonder if that could have something to do with it. I would really prefer that he was gay. He often scolds me for gestures that I make unconsciously which he regards as effeminate. Michael
Dr. Shoe Posted April 19, 2003 Posted April 19, 2003 back when I was a TV, my Dad found out and revealed that he was interested in the art of drag but had never really found the need to indulge in it himself. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
Julietta Posted April 25, 2003 Posted April 25, 2003 Wow there does seem to be a link here - ditto interesting!!!!! Let calm be widespread May the sea glisten like greenstone And the shimmer of summer Dance across your pathway "Communication is a two way thing"
Yamyam Posted April 25, 2003 Posted April 25, 2003 I'm intrigued. What's the link? Obsessed is such a strong word. I prefer to think of myself as "differently enthusiastic"
HHfanatic Posted May 11, 2003 Posted May 11, 2003 I have been wondering about the genetic part of sexual behavier, I just found out that my cousin is into crossdressing, and his cousin is also into crossdressing. By that means fetish crossdressing, latex, corsett, high heels etc. They actually want to look like a woman. That was a big suprise to me, I thought I was the only one in my family. Well, I`m just into footwear with high heels. A shame they live 10 hrs drive from me.
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