I need your opinions..

[LailaLily]

I dunno if its the feeling of being "vulnerable" in heels as oppossed to wearing tennis/running shoes.... but how many people on here feel that "vulnerable" feeling when they wear heels. I have waist long hair..but I RARELY where it out because its that same feeling i get for wearing heels outside. If im at a wedding party with others wearing heels or im actually walking with a person who is wearing heels or with a male companion....i feel better But I dunno, its like a feeling I get. I was on the flickr site looking at heels...and they had candid shots of people in their GREAT LOOKING heels walking in metropolitan places,parks,etc i dunno how to best describe it

[Guest]

Confidence, it sounds like many of us guys getting psyched up for our first outing. No seriously I do understand depending on your local environment and the times we live in, where is truly safe? I think you need a hunk of a feller to look after you or a herd of girlfriends to go out as a team. Be positive and strong and stay safe Al

[Histiletto]

Hey Lailalily, I think I understand your feeling of being vulnerable while wearing heels. Most of us want to be able to carry on our activities without the distractions of all the public voyeurs. Wearing heels of any height has a way of grabbing attention from the sound they make in walking or the aid they give to model their wearer. In this arena, we are more self-conscious about our demeanor and presence under such scrutiny as we fear we might do something that others would think it was of a spastic nature. Feeling vulnerable while wearing heels also has to do with one's ability to escape the threat of danger or any unpleasant potential. Even a skilled heeler in heels over 2.5" high can't manuveur as well as they can in tennis/running shoes. This would cause some feeling of insecurity for high heelers if the need to leave abruptly was suddenly thrusted upon them. As a male heeler, no matter what kind of a healthy front we exhibit, there is the nagging reality of the social attitude that makes us feel vulnerable or fearful in our heeling activities. Many heelers haven't made friends close enough to feel accepted and supported in their heeling, so they have to venture out alone.

[Bubba136]

Good analysis, Histiletto. Very well put.

[vector]

I think that this post is very skewed by gender. A women in heels is going to be viewed very different than a man in heels. Add to that the socialization of being male and female, and it makes for a very interesting conversation.

[Bubba136]

I think that this post is very skewed by gender. A women in heels is going to be viewed very different than a man in heels. Add to that the socialization of being male and female, and it makes for a very interesting conversation.

And your point is? (Hey, that's life in the normal world. What else would you expect?)

[LailaLily]

I think that this post is very skewed by gender. A women in heels is going to be viewed very different than a man in heels. Add to that the socialization of being male and female, and it makes for a very interesting conversation.

its skewed because of you..I dont see anyone complaining but you.

Im not talking about gender, so stop trying to take my post and drive it in a different direction. I mentioned "vulnerability in heels"

if u wanna talk about my original topic, great im all ears

if u wanna lead my topic in your own route..IM NOT HEARING IT.

Have respect for others, there are 10000 posts concerning the topic your itching to bring up and dispute...this is a drama free zone!

[danielp6406]

Greatings Lailalily :-) I understand what you mean by being "vulnerable" in heels. A close freind of mine feels the same way when she goes out alone. Now when she does, she prefers to wear low heels and less "form fitting" outfits. Only time she wear high heels outside is with friends or at work. I hope you don't feel this way during daylight ? (I guess it depends on which type of neighbourhood you live) Be safe and take care...

[vector]

its skewed because of you..I dont see anyone complaining but you.

Im not talking about gender, so stop trying to take my post and drive it in a different direction. I mentioned "vulnerability in heels"

if u wanna talk about my original topic, great im all ears

if u wanna lead my topic in your own route..IM NOT HEARING IT.

Have respect for others, there are 10000 posts concerning the topic your itching to bring up and dispute...this is a drama free zone!

LailaLily,

That's not a complaint but an observation; a statement of my beliefs. Not need to get defensive about it. Hey, have respect for the opinions of others also.

I believe vulnerability can be "felt" at least two ways, by how the person feels internally and how they are viewed/treated by others. You may not initially feel a certain way, but the actions and reactions of others can change that.

In my opinion, for many (most) women, shoes (and clothing in general), is an emotional thing- not only in terms of how they feel , but how they are accepted and treated by the general populace. I don't think it's the same way with men. My point was, most likely most men would respond from a more practical point of vie (escape/defend) while women would respond from a more emotional point of view (how they were treated by other women and men). Besides, women in heels are viewed very differently than men (sex objects, etc). Which could be women would dress extra sexy when they are in the company of a man or in groups. It's protection.

[Guy N. Heels]

Hey Lailalily,

I think I understand your feeling of being vulnerable while wearing heels. Most of us want to be able to carry on our activities without the distractions of all the public voyeurs. Wearing heels of any height has a way of grabbing attention from the sound they make in walking or the aid they give to model their wearer. In this arena, we are more self-conscious about our demeanor and presence under such scrutiny as we fear we might do something that others would think it was of a spastic nature.

Feeling vulnerable while wearing heels also has to do with one's ability to escape the threat of danger or any unpleasant potential. Even a skilled heeler in heels over 2.5" high can't manuveur as well as they can in tennis/running shoes. This would cause some feeling of insecurity for high heelers if the need to leave abruptly was suddenly thrusted upon them.

As a male heeler, no matter what kind of a healthy front we exhibit, there is the nagging reality of the social attitude that makes us feel vulnerable or fearful in our heeling activities. Many heelers haven't made friends close enough to feel accepted and supported in their heeling, so they have to venture out alone.

I very much second what HiStiletto said. But without wanting to sound trite, I think that one's vulerability is, to a large degree, a state of mind. For example, one can reduce risk factors by being selective about the places we frequent, whom we chose to go with (there is safety in numbers), limiting the amount of alcohol consumed, staying in well-lighted areas where responsible people are around, and so forth.

While all of these suggestions will help, nothing can absolutely remove all danger for any one person at any given time; and for that reason alone I frequently made it a point to keep my .380 pocket pistol discretely within easy reach during my younger days. I have subsequently voluntarily disarmed myself and have not actively sought to bear arms since. While I do not advocate arming one's self, I do understand why one might consider it; and I can certainly understand why some women might want to carry a tazer or some similar device. Nevertheless, some old-fashioned common-sense will go a very long way in removing you from harm's way and improving your peace of mind.

If you should decide to arm yourself (I consider that a very deeply personal decision), do NOT arm yourself with any sort of chains, brass knuckles, edged weapons, clubs or batons, or pepper spray, as the average woman will have neither the strength nor requisite martial skills to overcome a beligerant man. If you should decide to reach for armaments, you will need something that will stop the average man in his tracks! For this reason, I tend to favor stun-weapons, which do have the requisite stopping power without the inherit risk to life. If you should lean toward firearms, you would be wise to dismiss the .25's and .32's as totally ineffective. I have carried both the Browning and the Walther PP in .380 ACP, which will stop a man at 20 feet (for guaranteed knock-down, I would have used 2 rounds instead of one). Anything less is inviting trouble.

Believe me, I do appreciate your concerns. But there are some common-sense measures that will greatly improve your peace of mind without having to check your local licensing laws, and all that sort of thing. I most sincerely wish that you live long and prosper. But if you find a need to discuss your personal defense measures, do not hesitate to PM me.

[TooTall]

Heels can reduce your mobility if you aren't that accustomed to them. Try a shorter heel, perhaps, for daily wear? Waist length hair.... *sigh* so few women have that any more. I once dated a beautiful woman with waist length hair. Ended up getting married to her. I won't say I married her for her hair, but that magnificent mane certainly wasn't a negative. It's only down to the small of her back now, but she still looks beautiful.