jmc

JeffB -- you are an inspiration to all of us!

i don't want look to amateurish in heels out doors

Best thing to do (as hoverfly said earlier) is start out with a lower heel and work your way up. If you start with a 5-inch heel you will wobble, tire quickly and probably give it up. But a 2.5 - 3" heel is not all that difficult to manage. Wear them for a few days and get used to them -- as a female you do not have to worry about being "caught" in heels. When you get to the point where you no longer think about your heels, they have become second nature and you can go up a half-inch or so. As heels get higher, incremental height makes a lot more difference. The difference between a 2.5 and a 3" heel is barely noticeable. The difference between a 5 inch and a 5.5 is night and day.

Also, heel height depends on shoe size. A 4 inch heel on a size 6 (US) is very high, while a 4 inch heel on a size 12 (US) is modestly high. A 4 inch heel in a size 6 is more like a 5.5 or 6 inch heel on a size 12.

Listen to your body, listen to your feet and ankles. If you get uncomfortable, change to a lower heel. Regardless of how some of us sound here, very few people actually wear heels all the time.

You don't say what style you have in mind -- a boot or a shoe. I find that a wedge - type heel seems to be more inconspicuous. I wore these most of the day yesterday, making a bunch of stops all over town and nobody batted an eyelash: The heels measure 3 5/8" (9.2 cm) up the back on my size 12's. The brand is "Fitzwell", the style is "Fallara" and the source is Zappos. They are made for a wide calf and do not appear to be available in a standard calf. As a result they are loose around my legs, but I like them anyway.

. . . Elsewhere you mention courts with locking straps, here you mention doing this "for" your husband. That combination could mean a number of things, from safe sane+consensual to anything but! Before starting down that road, are you *absolutely sure* you're a) happy with where it'll lead and/or happy you can get off it if it turns in a direction you're not comfortable with? If not, I'd be very cautious about starting down that road.

. . .

Yes, most definitely -- If you are wearing heels because you want to, because they make you feel in a way you like or want, for yourself -- then that's a positive reason to do it. If you are doing it strictly to please somebody else, even somebody as close as your husband, then that is a danger sign. The locking heels veer into the bondage area -- if you are into that then that's OK. If you are not into that then you and your husband need to have a serious discussion.

You are part of this situation too. Your comfort level, wants and desires are every bit as important as his.

. . . People enter into a relationship with the idea they'll change the "other" partner. Again, on another post on another thread I used the words, "of the two of us there is only one I can change". One dozen words that carry a message with incredible truth. In any couples relationship where signficant differences arise after time, one of or both of the individuals misrepresented themselves to the other. Inevitably this comes around to another issue, that of honesty. Again, please don't misunderstand, this is not gender specific. I don't care who or what the situation, I simply don't accept "excuses" as "reasons" for behavior. . . .

From my experience, in a truly healthy relationship between a man and a woman, both partners change -- and they do so from within. They grow together -- out of a mutual love and respect for each other. This is why people who have been married for many years get to the point where they can finish each others sentences. They are so "in tune" with each others' thought processes that they instinctively know what the other is thinking. Neither individual "runs" the relationship solely, everything is a cooperative effort.

Ironically -- again from my experience -- any relationship that begins with the concept of changing the other person in some fundamental way is most likely doomed to failure. This is because the partner who has to change will grow to resent the power the other has over the relationship and will begin to think it is unfair.

That said, this "permanent high-heel" idea recurs frequently around here and it remains disturbing to me. I certainly would not enforce it on anybody and in my mind it is not worthwhile -- I would categorize it as a "voluntary disability". (If it is not completely voluntary -- on the part of the person being heeled -- then by my comments above this is an unhealthy relationship and probably should be ended.) Some people seem to get into this "permanent high heel" thing (although I suspect --hope?-- a lot of it is fantasy) and it will probably forever be one of those many things I cannot fully understand.

Looks like we've got some Star Trek fans here . . . Cool! (I guess I'm not really surprised )

Ohhh Yeahhh! Those were sweet boots! Unfortunately I do not know where they came from. We can only hope the fickle winds of fashion will someday time-warp them back from the sixties.

Malls have high security and I have even been told by a number of women in shoe stores that it's about the most safe place to wear your heels.

Shopping malls are pretty safe from the standpoint of being assaulted -- either physically or verbally. Being places of business, they well recognize that any feeling of less than complete safety tends to drive customers (and sales) away. So seciruty tends to be pretty tight.

My biggest worry about heeling in the local shopping mall would be running into somebody I know and having to explain my choice of footwear. For now I just stay with something conservative enough that it will not attract attention, or go to a mall far enough away that I am not likely to encounter somebody I know.

I have had such meandering conversations include an analysis of "how we got here" -- sometimes more than once. That, of course, is not necessary here because all of our "tracks" persist in the older portions of the thread involved.

I did not realize how close to the Holidays we are . . .

I know the feeling. I seem to have been in a "time warp" most of the year, about a month behind everything.

As far as a logo, I'm interested in seeing what comes of this. I am about as artistic as an industrial draftsman (as in not at all) so I won't be much help here. The idea of gender-nonspecific heeling certainly fits the site.

I'm finding it very interesting that men and women from all over the world who's families have faught against one another for years are getting together HERE and discussing HEELS. Ironic isn't it? Maby we have something here. What do you think?

Just goes to show that deep down we are not all that different. We all have basic human desires -- a little bit of dignity, some love and respect, our basic needs (shelter, food, etc.) and sometimes something interesting to spice up our lives (like, oh -- maybe heels! :-)

I find that the biggest problem of buying shoes and boots over the internet is that of sizing and fit, since you can't really try them on before buying them. But once you start getting experience with how different manufacturers build their shoes, then you can start to pick up on trends. Then you can start to make some educated guesses about what styles, sizes and manufacturers work best for your feet. . .

Most definitely true! Add to this the plethora of different sizing systems and each manufacturer's own interpretation of them and you end up with the gamble we all know as the sizing dilemma. Sometimes even different styles from the same manufacturer show considerable variation in size.

Welcome aboard, wood&metal ! -- from another former lurker. We all love heels here and a great many of us are into boots -- I count myself in that category.

Angie, If it helps any, I purchased a pair of boots from you on eBay and I was completely happy with them. Still am, in fact. Your service and the way you handled the transaction was top-notch and I felt your description was highly accurate. Unfortunately, except in very rare cases, you don't hear from happy customers -- usually your best hope is a return sale. eBay does provide the feedback system but a short 80-character comment does not provide a lot of communication. The unhappy customers are the ones who make the most noise. I'd deal with you again. --JMC

If you are talking about stiletto heels, try shrinking a piece of clear heat-shrink tubing on the end of the heel. Trim it to length so it does not extend beyond the heel tip, and of course be careful with the heat so you don't damage the heel. This makes a very nice protector to preserve the end of your heels. These are actually available as heel-protectors in some of those household-items catalogs like Lillian Vernon and such. But heat-shrink is available in most hardware stores, just make sure you get clear tubing because most of the available colors will not match your shoes.

. . .I'm like Indiana Jones, I'm making it up as I go along.

Aren't we all? It would be nice if this "life" thing came with a user's guide. . .

But then how many of us would read it?

As one rather notable U.S. President once stated, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself."

. . .

That's the only restriction, as we've never had an issue where prolific female posting in the guys section was driving male members away.

. . .

I would bet that a female posting prolifically in the guys section would draw men in droves.

TXT-1 -- you sound as though you wish HHplace had died. I most definitely disagree. It was dying, slowly, on the old board. It was mostly being drowned under a tsunami of spam and most of the women left but it was not dead. And now, I get a feeling that it has been re-invigorated.

I like the board, I like the interaction between members, and I think it has a lot going for it. HHplace was not resurrected but it did get a makeover -- much for the better.

Agreed - a pair is wasted if it's not on the foot! . . .

Most definitely. For this very reason I have been concentrating more on wedge styles, mostly in boots. I will actually leave the house in them from time to time -- this vastly increases my heel-time and adds to my confidence heeling in public. This epiphany -- that I could actually wear somewhat conservative wedge or block style heeled boots and shoes in public -- became clear about a year and a half ago.

So at present I have the following:

Three pair of wedge boots -- Nine West "Niolia", Fitzwell "Fallara", and Nine West "Brett".

One pair of a more stiletto style -- Skechers "Somethin Else".

Two pair of wedge shoes -- Aerosoles "Durmure" and "Land Stand".

Then there are four pair of block-heeled boots from Diba, Candies and Payless

several years ago (before the epiphany although these have seen wear outside).

Two pair of heel clogs, one of which makes an appearance in my avatar.

And at least a dozen pair of various pre-epiphany sandals and pumps. They are still fun.

. . .

Have you ever wondered: "Of all the things mens could fancy, why my feet/high heels?" . . .

Well, from the male perspective -- have you ever noticed what a pair of heels does to a woman's legs? It is a beautiful transformation!

. . . freestyle fashion doesn't put bread on the table or money in my pocket . . .

How true! I'm finding it tends to have the opposite effect. . .but then I am in a major collection-building mode right now.

Actually, I'm quite certain it's a bovine-made material, for the most part, followed by porcine, and to a lesser extent other animals.

The term "man-made" is reserved for materials who's origens are entirely synthetic, such as nylon. Cotton is entirely organinic, and is not considered "man-made," despite the growing, harvesting, combing, spinning, weaving, and sewing processes which must ensue. Leather has several similarly processes, including calving, growing, slaughtering/skinning, tanning, working, and (help me out here, Dr. Shoe, as I'm not sure I'm using the right word) lasting.

Wool, cotton, leather, flax, fur - none are considered man-made materials, even though considerable effort is required by man to generate useful products from them.

Right now I'm wearing a pair of leather shoes with a 3-3/4" heel. They're not "man-made."

Leather does go through a number of processes in its transformation from cow-hide to leather material, then a number of more processes to become shoes. Some of these processes involve some fairly harsh chemicals, such as the tanning solutions and dye solvents, but most of those chemicals are driven out of the product at the end. Even with all this, leather is considered a natural material while PVC (polyvinyl chloride) and PU (polyurethane) are clearly synthetic.

Personally, I find the natural materials to be vastly more comfortable than synthetics. Leather, pigskin and cotton fabrics "breathe" while synthetics often feel like plastic bags. Synthetics are getting better in this regard but they have a long way to go.

My most comfortable -- Fitzwell "Fallara", pictured below. In my size, US 12, the heels rise 3 inches and the rounded toe has plenty of room.

Chris:

That's been the universal sentiment of everyone who's ventured out in public while wearing heels. After awhile, you'll amaze yourself with how simple it's become to where you chastise yourself a bit for not having done it sooner.

Yup, I find that too. Starting out we seem to live under this great cloud of dread about "what will everybody else think" and it keeps us from going out. But think about it -- how often do you notice a guy's shoes? We notice womens' shoes but that's mostly because we love them so much. But mens' shoes -- who cares?

And when we do venture out, especially in something low-key and conservative, we find that virtually nobody notices. The worst I have seen is a glance and a somewhat quizzical expression -- and that is less than 1% of the time!

Why shouldn't we wear what we like?

Just out of curiosity, I looked up the Franco Sarto "Nolan":

I must say, that is a stylish, uncomplicated and elegant looking shoe, something both genders could easily wear as it incorporates both male and female elements to perfection. A good choice, dr1819.

Simple lines, but with enough heel to feel good.

Very nice!

If you can, have someone watch you as you walk away from them -- or get creative with a video camera. Watch your heels as you walk in these boots -- they are probably leaning to the outside. That is not proper, your heels should be vertical as you walk. It does sound as if this is a characteristic of your stride because you have had this happen before, although with a slightly different style. The wedge add-ons might help. Is there a chance that you are trying to turn your toes inward? -- this can cause a lean toward the outside. I have seen women do this too -- one that sticks in my mind did it so much that she had worn her heel tips at an angle. She was an interesting one to follow :-) .