Steve63130

Pumpcat, While ILK was pretty blunt in the above post, I do agree with him on a couple of issues. Calling yourself "Ashley" is a silly way of saying "I'm insecure and to feel more like I belong in high heels I'm going to be more feminine." It's really not at all necessary, and in fact it's counterproductive. You've posted pics of yourself and we can see you look great in heels as a guy. Why the charade as a "woman?" Wave good-bye to Ashley and be proud to be a guy - in good looking heels, with other clothes that compliment the look. C'mon, man, you deserve better. Lose the attitude of "screw them." The great unwashed masses don't need confrontation and neither do you. Your cause would be far more effective to be an educator. Take the time to introduce yourself and show them that you're a confident guy and you like to wear heels. Show them you walk well in them, look good in them, and you're very comfortable not only in heels, but comfortable with yourself. Smile. Be courteous. Be an ambassador for our cause. Win them over. Your victory will be sweet. Steve

Right on, Debbi! I agree with you completely. You can always count on some so-called expert to be quoted on a slow news day. Steve

I seem to remember a seller on ebay named Rolandah who resells Payless shoes and ships all over the world. Write to her and tell her what you're looking for and maybe she can get it for you. Steve

Good post, Chris. These "non-events" as we call them boost confidence. Pretty soon you'll wonder why you're so invisible and you'll be annoyed that nobody is noticing. Steve

Freestyle75, Sorry you got treated the way you did, but you broke the rules, even though you meant well and had nothing but honorable intentions. Best advice is to keep clear of the girls section, and keep your nose clean from here on. Pretend it doesn't exist and you'll not get in hot water again. Steve

Larry, great story! Thanks for sharing. Life can be full of wonderful surprises, and often people you'd never expect can come forward with fascinating things to discuss. You handled it perfectly! Steve

Well here's what happened. Back in October or so I took pictures of myself wearing heels and some other fashionable, but simple clothing to show you guys on the site. But when I uploaded it to the computer using my camera I forgot to delete them from the computer. I put the pictures on my flash drive and totally forgot about the other ones. And the bad thing about that computer was that the screen saver was personal pictures and my parents saw my pictures and definitely had a lot of questions. I just kept telling them "I don't know". They eventually left me alone. But my mom put all my heels in her closet. Some time went by and they caught me looking at heels on the computer. This time my mom actually wanted me to see a psychiatrist, but I refused because I know that there's nothing wrong with me. But one day when everyone was gone I went to her closet to wear my heels and they were gone. I searched everywhere for them and could not find them. They are either hidden really well or they threw them out. Which upsets me a lot. Now I have no heels to wear at all. I want to buy more and hid them better, but im too afraid that she'll see on my bank account. I don't know what to do. I still have a desire to wear them, but I feel like ill never be able to just because of my parents and how afraid I am of what other people are going to say. Especially my friends and co-workers.

BeachHeeler,

You've made a mistake early in your heeling life, and you've left evidence that let you get caught. But don't consider this a bad thing. The "cat is out of the bag" so to speak, so you need to confess and be honest, not only with your parents but with yourself.

I think it's important to note whose money paid for the shoes you had. If you had a job and it was your money, then they are/were your shoes and your parents should not have confiscated them. If they were bought by money you got as an allowance from your parents, then the shoes are viewed by your parents as a misappropriation of their funds and they are rightly upset about it. In my opinion they were within their rights to confiscate the shoes.

Nevertheless, your secret is now out: You like high heels. Now you need to come to an understanding with your parents about your new hobby/passion. It will not go away, and you can't ignore it. You need to talk with them. You need to communicate. You may need to compromise. But as long as you live with them, you need to reach an understanding as to what you're permitted or not permitted to do. All the advice that people posted above is good. Please read it again. Honor your parents and do the right things to make them proud of you. They love you, but they do not understand you (yet). Give them time and attention and they probably will, or else you will be old enough to move out and make up your own life's rules.

Steve

She ended the discussion by telling that if I wanted to, I could always talk about this some more with her.

Happy heeling!

Right there is your key to success! The door is always open. She wants more dialogue to understand you better, and by talking with her, you are communicating, building a bridge instead of a moat, and "bonding" with her. She is reaching out for you, she is clearly perplexed, she is probably worried that your interests might take you where she thinks you should not go, and she may be concerned for your safety, too. Talk about it. A lot! Understand where she is coming from and try to come up with ways to compromise that meet both of your needs.

By going outside with heels before she has a chance to adapt to the "new normal" you present, you are disrespecting her comfort zone. Don't do it. There is no harm in waiting until she has a chance to adjust to where you are now. Don't push the envelope too fast. Stay indoors. Wear your heels more inside the house; inside your room if she wants it that way. Get better at walking in heels before you venture outside. Continue the dialogue, and get your mother to become comfortable with where you are now. Later you can show her the shoes with hidden heels and discuss going out in them, and even try it out in a mall with her. Let her walk with you or better yet, let her walk behind you and see how well you've mastered the art of walking gracefully, and let her see if others take notice. Let her video your walk so you can see how graceful or awkward you look. My guess is that others won't notice and she'll realize what we've been preaching all along. "It's just shoes."

Good luck and keep posting! You're making great progress and you have a golden opportunity to move forward with your mother's blessing and support. How cool would that be!

Steve

That's great news. Thanks for sharing it. Keep posting about your heeling adventures. The more you do it the easier it is, and pretty soon you'll be wondering why you were ever scared of going out in heels. It's fun, liberating, and improves your confidence in yourself - all good things! Steve

Another great article from Yahoo. Ugh! Steve

HappyinHeels, congrats on your 1000th post. I passed that mark some time ago and it's a nice milestone. Keep going for 2000! Heels up! Steve

I hope the video goes viral! The more people who see guys in heels, the better! Thanks for doing your part, and thanks for posting the event. Steve

Let's see...how many Ph.D.s does it take to change a light bulb?.... Steve

More than that - you might be making new friends! Especially from women, who seem to notice and compliment much more than guys. Steve

Not this year, but probably in early 2014 (8th trip in 13 years - we must like it there!). We'd love to meet some more Aussie heeling friends. Thanks for the invitation! Steve

hh_pe, Sorry to learn of your temporary setback. I hope you can plan some heeling adventures, or better yet, send your MIL on an extended Carnival cruise! (just kidding). Take care and do what you can to get some heeling in. Maybe some less femme styles will fill the bill until you can wear what you really want. Steve

I don't think it will change into an obsession. It already is! I think you should be totally honest and trust in your mother. If it's your parents' money given to you as an allowance, then I think you should obey their wishes. But if you earned the money, I think you should tell your mother than you thought about it, and there is a pair of heels that you want to get with YOUR money, and what does she think of them? Get her in on the decision making and do all you can to engage her in discussion and conversation. Show her you've done your homework and have found the best price. Impress on her that you're spending responsibly. You want her to know you better so she isn't afraid of what she might imagine about your unusual hobby. Conversation and good communication will help you bond with her and that's a good thing. She needs to understand you better. Remember, children come without a manual, so she's trying to understand you. Help her out. Steve

Yep, I say, "Oh, it's the heels!" and even show them. I'm not ashamed. If it's a woman, I usually get a "Wow! I LOVE those shoes!" Steve

Good for you, Bluejay. You didn't let me down! LOL Glad to see you're paying attention. heh, heh!

Steve

hey Steve, I have tattoos, and dyed hair, and wear heels. But no drop pants rapper style.

Pumpcat, no offense intended. Tattoos, dyed hair, and piercings are all still outside of the mainstream in fashion (but definitely becoming more common than they used to be), and that's why I used them as examples. All I'm saying is that if people can do those things, which are on the fringe, we can wear heels (which are also on the fringe).

Steve

Ok, I see where you're coming from. Stilettos will be a harder sell to your parents and to others because they're generally considered more feminine, so you will have a bit more work to do, but if you're determined, you can succeed. Get inspiration from the people on this forum who wear stilettos in public and wear your heels proudly and confidently. Doing so will impress your friends and you will be a chick magnet, as has been demonstrated on here many times. Before going public, though, learn to walk in your heels with grace and sure-footedness, so you don't trip and fall, which could discourage you, cause others to laugh, or sprain an ankle - none of these are good outcomes. I like the heels in your avatar very much. Good luck! Steve

Target has a wide variety of jeans in different fits, sizes, and colors. I do well there. Steve

If girls can wear army boots, I can wear heels. If people can dye their hair all the colors of the rainbow, wear tattoos and display piercings, I can wear heels. If Bluejay can wear heels, so can I. (Just want to see if he's paying attention! LOL). Steve

One of the biggest things you could do is convince your parents that you are not the only male that is like this (there's strength in numbers). You are not dysfunctional. You are just different. BUT...you have thousands of friends and acquaintances here that feel exactly as you do, and you fit right in. You could tell your parents about this site at some point in time, and talk about it as a support group. We help each other with issues, questions, problems, and concerns, and we discuss those things that are important to all of us or just some of us. We're all in this together, and our goal is to be a happy and supportive family. When you bring up the subject with them, you might offer to show them this site if they are interested, and let them see it for themselves. You can also look through some of the older threads on this site for newspaper and blog articles about how men in heels is a coming fashion. Print them out and at some point, share them with your parents and indicate that you're just a pioneer - a fashion-forward guy who is onto the future before most people. Another thing I think you can do is wear your heels in your bedroom with the door closed. If anyone comes into your room, they are on your turf, and unless your parents specifically ask you not to wear them there (it is their house after all), you should be able to wear what you want on your turf. Your parents are probably concerned that your interest in heels is just the start of crossdressing and that you will want to wear more and more feminine clothing. If that's not the case, establish it up front so they are no longer concerned. But if it is, I would just not divulge it now. You've given them plenty to worry about as it is. My guess is that your mother is probably more accepting of your wearing heels than your father, but I may be wrong. If she is, you might discuss heels with her once in a while, offer to go shopping to help her buy shoes, ask her to go shopping with you to buy heels...do things that would bond with her and display your love for her, especially since she has already accepted your heel wearing. Be a loving son and you will be amazed at how other things won't matter. After all, they're just shoes. Don't refer to wearing heels as a fetish. Call it a hobby. It sounds a lot less intimidating that way, in my opinion. Good luck, and don't be shy about telling us about your successes and setbacks. No one can promise you a trouble-free path, but we can safely say you're in for an interesting ride. Steve

Good outfits, Bluejay. You look great in those new green heels. You're educating a lot of folks out there that men can wear heels too! Steve

Well, you could try it in boots or clogs. There are a lot of boots on sale this time of year as companies want to reduce their inventory. I bought a pair of Aerosoles "With Love" boots, reg. $99, for $29. You should be able to find something in the 20-40 euro range that would not attract much attention, but would be fun to wear in public. Stay away from stilettos for your first pair until you get more practice. Start with something in the 8 cm range that would give you good stability. Avoid cobblestones like the plague! Have fun! Steve