Shyheels

I wear skinny jeans all the time - they work better with knee boots - and just don’t bother reading what is “in” for people my age, or any other age.  I have been buying girls skinny jeans because all the men’s versions I’ve encountered would be better described as “slightly less baggy than than normal” and certainly not skinny. I wish I could find some genuinely skinny men’s jeans.

8 minutes ago, Cali said:

You must have so dirty bedsheets.

No - just clean boots! 😊

That’s one thing I never have to worry about, since always in boots!

Fashion is a language and, as a writer, I can totally appreciate the desire to experiment with different modes of expression and styles. Having opened myself to the idea of wearing tall boots and heels, I’ve settled quite comfortably into the boots and jeans style and am happy there. I found my niche. Others may want to experiment more. The important thing is to be yourself and embrace that self. 

Things have grown rather quiet here in recent months. You could be waiting quite a while for a response from the original poster…

Very nice sandals! Big, as you say, but with nice cleans lines. They look fun.

Perhaps, with the knee highs, but not with shorts. I think a lot of people would consider shorts too informal for something like a retirement party. I like your boots though

Sounds like you had some very pleasant encounters - but then not too surprising. You’re a very good advertisement for men in heels. 

Very nice looking sandals! I like the height and lines. I can see myself ever wearing sandals, but if I did that’s the kind of thing I’d go for 

It can get that warm here although rarely and there can be no sign of rain - until about five minutes before the cloud creeps over the horizon, lowers the temperature thirty degrees and drops an inch of rain and hail

I've a fondnes for ankle boots - and those look nice. I've several pair of suede knee and OTK boots but I'm always so leery of wearing them out except on the very nicest days. Over here rain can come out of nowhere.

Quite a nice collection. I remember when wooden soled clogs were huge during my university days in the mid 70s

I can see your point about wearing heels to walk the dog - and I can see hers as well. For most people heels, especially higher heels, are dress shoes, big occasion shoes, not for everyday. Which is of course why they are widely perceived to be uncomfortable since, to be comfortable in heels, one needs to be wearing them regularly. And few people do that.

It’s kind of an endless loop - people don’t wear heels because they are perceived to be uncomfortable, and because they are perceived uncomfortable people don’t wear them regularly. A difficult cycle to break. We happen to like wearing heels and so we put in the efforts.

Even women who fancy the styling of high heels and aspire to wear them may give up on the idea if they are not comfortable at once - that is the nature of expectation in our society.

I see this in cycling. I have an old school Brooks leather saddle in my tourer - a true classic - and while a lot of newcomers to cycling love the look and the idea of these classic saddles they are not always willing to endure the breaking in period. I never found it to be that hard myself - I’ve ridden on nothing but Brooks saddles for nearly 40 years - but to hear the griping on cycling forums you’d think they were torture implements. 

Again, you have a serious and intelligent interest in heels, backed up by a willingness to take the time to do it right, whereas theirs is just passing and driven by expediency and obligation to wear heels in certain circumstances. 

Interesting interactions. I wonder a bit if the first woman’s comment - I guess I’ve been doing it wrong - was meant to be sarcastic or ironic. Not having heard her tone or seen her face I can only guess but the words as written could come across that way. Or possibly resentful.

I think we (as a group) put much more thought into getting heels that fit and learning to walk in them that a lot if women who buy heels because they feel obliged but are not interested or invested enough to do more than put them on their feet and hope for the best.  

Very nice! You clearly have sound fitness and ability. I think nearly all the guys on this forum strike just the right note in terms of making men in heels seem unremarkable - in the best sense of the word. As s group, although our tastes and styles differ, we are all quite presentable 

1 hour ago, bambam said:

Yep, the whole thing was annoying until he told somebody that you were a friend, and not a brother. That's not simply annoying, that's pathological, as well as insulting, degrading, and incorrect. He lied. That is so thoroughly f%$@#d up, I can't be emphatic enough about it.

I agree. The disowning bit puts the whole thing into an entirely different category. 

Unless you live in boots! 😊

A relationship where one party sets the terms, without discussion or negation, let alone compromise, does not sound very healthy to me.

It sounds a bit like you are more interested in the relationship than he is if he is making this a my way or the highway thing. You seem at least open to discussion and compromise and he is not. By the sound of things he is quite willing for you to walk away over this.

Describing you to his friend/client as a friend and not a brother is not good. In fact, it’s really bad.

you mention he has a tattoo parlour. A lot of people don’t care for tattoos. They have a perceived stigma too. How would he feel if you declined to recognise him as your brother and told your neighbours he was just an acquaintance because he ran a tattoo parlour and you were ashamed of him? He probably wouldn’t care for it.

Depending on how you want to proceed, what value you put in your relationship and how much time you want to spend together, you could consider just not wearing heels around him at all - assume he will be offended and leave the heels at home - but at the same time start to shift your social focus away from him and his family and on to people and situations that bring you greater joy.

This would avoid a big blow up, 

it does not sound like he is open to any compromise. 

I’ve never been to Moscow but I’ve been to St Petersburg and that certainly was a lovely city. 

That’s a pretty good testimonial! 

I’ve a pair of knee boots - not heels - that are reproduction vintage motorcycle courier boots from WWI and they are lace ups all the way. Yes, they are a bit of a bother to lace up, but that’s all part of it. I wore them on an expedition and had to lace them up every day. I got used to it, but to be sure there were times when I felt like I’d have been happy to trade this authenticity for the convenience of a zip!

Really nice! 

I agree - both about the confidence in numbers and the idea that most men would secretly like to try wearing heels. More than the heels, they’d like to have some freedom from the herd, not be having to be so guarded and watchful all the time, released from fears about their masculinity.

Very nice!!!