mlroseplant

I am frankly surprised at the response so far, because I know there are a lot of people who are dead set against setback heels. I am in harmony with most of the replies so far, in that I don't mind setback heels. In theory, I agree with the notion that the heel ought to be underneath one's actual heel of his foot. However, in actual practice, I have been unable to correlate anything definitively between heel position and walkability. I have plenty of setback heels that are just fine to walk in. I will say, however, that setback heels create a unique hazard when walking down stairs. It is much easier to catch your setback heel on the stair you've just stepped off of, leading to an increased chance of serious injury or death. Or at the very least, severe embarrassment.

7 hours ago, kneehighs said:

This YouTuber known as Mrs. Midwest makes some good points about wearing what you want to wear.   One key point, "all you have to do is push through and let people get used to it"

The innuendo--I'm sure unintentional-- in the following quote had me laugh. "When you dress in that feminine way that you want to, you're going to feel release and free from all of that stress and tension." (14:12)

 

Yeah, I can't get on board with this woman. What a schmuck.

1 hour ago, Jkrenzer said:

This morning I stopped by the local grocery for a quick run for coffee grounds. These are my 5.25 inch domina's.

These have a very classic click when walking.

Joe

I dunno, every time I buy coffee I can't help but think of the 1991 Randy Travis song "Better Class of Losers."

I need friends who don't pay their bills on home computers
And who buy their coffee beans already ground

'Course, that was a long time ago, but I do pay all my bills on a home computer (kind of a quaint term), and I do buy whole bean coffee. What have I become?

On another note, I don't get how you guys walk around in >5 inch shoes with no platform. I suppose if I put my mind to it, I could practice a lot and do it, but it's certainly not something I can do right now, even with years of experience. I'm not jealous, but I'm intrigued.

Here are some more practical shorts, created for me by my tailor friend. They have a 4 inch inseam. I played many a tennis match in shorts this length (but not this style) back in the 80s. 

I haven't had a heel break on me in public, but I have had a situation recently, detailed elsewhere on this forum, where I lost a heel tip and had to remove my shoes and walk barefoot for about a half mile to get back home to avoid ruining my shoes. I survived the incident, and the shoes were repaired successfully. Although no one paid me any heed, I did have a subconscious need to explain to passers-by what happened. 

1 hour ago, Cali said:

That's because @kneehighs is looking at this from a single person's point of view whereas @jeremy1986 is only seeing from the married person's point of view.

It's a interesting point to note as a married heterosexual man whose bestie is a woman. The wife isn't crazy about my heels, but bless her, she tolerates me well enough. 

The bestie, on the other hand, is enthusiastic about my heels, and is often my partner in crime in the fact that we're always on the lookout for shoes for each other. I have wondered idly more than once if she would be nearly as enthusiastic if she were my wife, if I were showing up to HER family get-togethers in heels, if I were going to OUR kids' school programs in heels, and so forth, would she be as enthusiastic and supportive as she is now? That is a question I honestly can't answer. I could see it going either way, but the mere fact that I can't answer this hypothetical question confidently is further evidence that what kneehighs says is 'bout right. 

On 6/28/2019 at 5:44 AM, mlroseplant said:

I am at this moment awaiting the completion of a re-heel on a pair of wooden heeled sandals I got not too long ago which have (maybe had) a unique sound to them. We'll see what they sound like when I get them back. Hopefully not stupid.

I just picked up the sandals in question from the cobbler two days ago. This is my third pair of True Religion mules of this exact model, and they've all had the same problem--the heel tips are not attached well to the heels, and it's very easy to lose one without realizing it. Furthermore, the wooden heels are not solid wood. They appear to be made out of some engineered wood composite--something like MDF, or Medium Density Fiberboard. On its own, whatever it is is not at all resistant to abrasion. I lost a heel tip on the last pair I had without realizing it and ground down the heel about 3/4" by the time I noticed the problem, making it irreparable. Luckily, I noticed the missing heel tip with this pair very quickly. Funny, it happened in almost exactly the same spot as last time, but I digress from the real subject of this post.

My cobbler used Vibram or something very similar to replace my heels, which is good for durability, but has completely muffled the former sound of these heels. Before, they made a strong, sort of hollow sounding "tok, tok" sound with each step on a hard surface. Now, they are almost silent. You just never know how using a different material for heel tips is going to affect sound. Luckily, the forefoot part of the sandals must be made of something that is way softer than the old heel tips, so at least they don't make an objectionable whapping sound.

11 hours ago, pebblesf said:

You have nice long legs, I think you look great in that outfit....Wish I could pull it off...

I assume that this comment is directed at me and not Joe, if for no other reason than that the angle of his photograph would make such an assessment very difficult. I thank you for the compliment, but I'm afraid I have pulled a bit of a fast one on you. My legs are actually very short (29" inseam), and I can't buy any long pants off the rack. It's lucky, as I have said before, that my bestie is a tailor by profession, and is progressive enough to give good advice on how to tailor my clothing in a way that is flattering with heels. She is also a huge fan of high heels with shorts, and wears that combo often.

The trick I have employed here is one that has been shared in many a fashion magazine, and that is for us short-legged people to wear 'em short! That way, there is nothing to interrupt the visual line from upper thigh to foot. That, paired with the neutral shoes, creates the illusion of length. And, like I said, it is total illusion, because the length just isn't there. I'm glad to know this strategy actually works! I tried capris once, because I thought it was a cute look, but they look totally ridiculous on me because of my lack of leg, being as they cut the visual line basically right in half.

I just got back from an early walk on this wonderfully calm Independence Day morning, after heavy thunderstorms last night, and decided to snap this rather terrible, but illustrative photo. These are true cutoffs, made by myself from some No Boundaries jeans from the juniors section of Walmart. Size 5, in case anybody is curious. Unfortunately, I didn't take into account the fact that they are not super tight around my thighs, and I cut them off a little too short. They are OK if I never have to sit down, so they're good walking shorts, being somewhat stretchy. Otherwise, they show things that ought not to be shown, and completely ignoring the prudishness factor, it's just not attractive in any way. Keep this in mind if you're creating shorts out of long pants! Shown here with True Religion mules.

4 minutes ago, Jkrenzer said:

Morning trip to both the home depot and loews for supplies in my shodazzle mules. Stopped at a coffee shop first. So liberating to go full out heels and shorts.

Happy 4th everyone. 

 

I see that there are at least two of us who are busy already this morning! Well, make that three. We know for a fact that JeffB is already up and running. Happy Independence Day!

Heels and shorts have long been a favorite combination of mine, since before I started heeling. Unfortunately, up until the last 10 years or so, such a combination has almost universally been thought of by the general public as being very trashy, with the one exception of Catherine Bach on the TV series "The Dukes of Hazzard." For some reason, her outfits seemed to be accepted as just part of her character, but were certainly NOT emulated by girls in real life, at least not in my town. Short shorts, yes. Heels, yes. But never at the same time, ever, unless you were looking to be labelled.

Then suddenly, about 10 years ago or so, it rather suddenly became acceptable, and I want to say the trend really came from Asia. In 2007, I remember being somewhat surprised (not to mention pleased) to see shorts with heels everywhere in Vietnam, Thailand, and Korea as everyday wear (i.e., not clubbing clothes). Asians seemed to be able to pull off this look when white girls couldn't. Over the next few years, the trend became somewhat mainstream here in the U.S. Don't get me wrong, it's not like you see girls wearing heels with shorts all the time, but when you do, it's not like sighting a unicorn. At a bar on Friday night, or even at a summer outdoor town event such as a farmers' market,  you are almost sure to see several heels with shorts combos, whereas you wouldn't have 10 years ago.

As for my personal taste, I have only tried pumps one time with shorts, just as an experiment. For clubbing, this seems to be the shoe of choice for younger women. I'm not crazy about it, I'd much rather wear.  .  . you guessed it.  .  . open toed mules with my shorts. I have to admit, most of my shorts are obviously in the feminine style, being extremely short and tight. I think my wife is relieved every year when cold weather comes back to Iowa. I do have one pair of longer shorts (maybe 6 or 7" inseams). Those are for practicing the organ. Do you know how painful it is when you legs stick to a wooden organ bench? Not to mention you can't really move properly to play.

Here is a photo of my shorts with pumps experiment:

2 hours ago, Puffer said:

Where is the evidence of 'acceptance'?   I don't condone intolerance of or antagonism towards those who are 'different' in appearance or lifestyle but that is not to say that they are truly 'accepted' or welcomed by the population generally.   The whole issue is clouded by the restrictions (legal and otherwise) on what may be said or done that is allegedly of a discriminatory nature.   Silence does not amount to acquiescence.   We can scarcely expect freedom of dress when we increasingly restrict freedom of expression in other forms.   

There is no question that many changes have taken place over the last decade, and many of those changes have resulted in better conditions and better lives for several groups of people, most notably the LGBT community (god, I hate using the word "community," but it's used frequently and it's expedient, so there it is). To address something that directly affects my personal life on a daily basis, I know there is no way in hell I could have worn what I wear as recently as 20 years ago without serious and frequent harassment, even here in polite Iowa. There is indeed greater acceptance of some things, even if begrudging.

This shift in attitude does come with "restrictions," as you say, but there was, at least in the United States, a sort of tipping point where attitudes shifted, not because of any laws, but for other, more powerful reasons. This has taken place rapidly, and I have no explanation for it. Obviously, there is still a great deal of controversy over anything involving sex or gender or reproduction. My church denomination may wind of splitting up because of it. However, that doesn't minimize the progress we've made as a society in general. We just have a lot more work to do still.

If I may ask, what is the advantage of the sliding actuator on this stretcher vs. the screw-type featured on most shoe stretchers, high heeled or otherwise? I've had ok luck with shoe stretchers, but I've had just as much luck wetting the shoes down heavily, then wearing them until they dry. I guess this wouldn't work well with suede, would it?

Sort of depends on why it's wobbly. If it's just because the heel has come loose, you should be able to fix it yourself. Peel up the insole of the shoe to expose the screws holding the heel on to the shoe. You may find that they are loose. If so, I would recommend replacing them with the next size larger screw, whatever it is. I might also epoxy the heel to the shoe when you replace the screws. That ought to hold things steady for quite a while.

On the other hand, if the heel seems securely attached, but there is still wobbliness, it's probably a bent or broken shank, and then you're pretty much screwed. I've had this happen to me several times, and it's very frustrating. It all comes of walking in shoes that are not really meant to be walked in.

I know I said I wasn't going to post any more pictures, so I guess I'm a liar. I decided to wear my one and only pair of red shoes today, and managed to get a shot of them in the real world. They are BCBG Paris, made in Brazil. They have a 4 3/4" heel with 7/8" platform.

My favorite way of making shorts is to cut off pants or jeans that fit well. I either just leave them raggedy, or better yet, get my friend who happens to be a tailor, and is willing to collaborate with me on such things, hem them up.

57 minutes ago, KneeBooted said:

Well today is the day for the San Francisco pride parade and I get the amazing opportunity to be in it!

Work participates in the parade each year and now that I live out here in the Bay Area, I am seizing the moment!

I realize that some of you may think that wearing heels at the pride parade doesn’t help eliminate the stereotype that men in heels must be gay/bi.

However, I am going more to show support for my friends at work who identify as lqbtq. The plan is to have an awesome time and enjoy the day.

I am posting my two outfit choices below. The only difference is choice of pants. The weather states that it will likely be windy with a high in the 60s up in the city. This may cause me to want to wear the jeans versus shorts. Let me know what you think!

Regardless of the temperature, you're comparing skinny jeans to "Dad" shorts. You gotta go with the jeans! Or different shorts. In any case, have fun!

Maybe it's just me, but I guess it seems to be a requirement that a shoe have a giant, thick heel, whether high or low, to be considered masculine. And the shoe had probably better be a boot.

19 hours ago, Cali said:

When I first started to wear heels (2-3 inch) I was very concern about the noise giving out clues that I was wearing heels. I even had a pair 's soles replaced with rubber. I learned how to avoid places where the sound would be louder. That as about a decade ago.

But when you live in shorts and heels during the summer months, there is no hiding your heels, so sound they might generate is not an issue. I now embrace the sound. And I have wedges that click.

The noisiest place for me is walking down concrete steps in wooden heels like these.

Yes, I think wooden heels are my favorite when it comes to quality of sound. The plastic heels that come on most shoes in my price range just don't have the same warmth. It has been several years since I largely switched to straight cut jeans or shorts for the summertime, so yes, hiding the heels is not a concern anymore.

17 hours ago, Jkrenzer said:

This morning I wore a pair of 5 inch stilettos to breakfast. The diner has hard tile floors and both heel taps have just worn to the metal nails. I loved the very audible metal nail to tile sound. I of course will replace the heel taps shortly before they wear to an unrepairable state, but really love the metallic sound. I also had my high cut geans on

Here's the shoes.

Have you ever replaced your tips with metal ones? I kind of like the idea of the volume, but I'm not sure I would like the timbre of the sound, and also I'd be worried about skating right across the floor and landing on my butt in places with polished floors, like a supermarket.

On edit: Whoops! It just occurred to me that we've had this conversation before! I seem to be doing that more and more often these days. But maybe you could comment on how a metal tip changes the sound. I assume it's louder, but does it lack the depth and warmth of a softer tip? Something like that.

5 hours ago, bluejay said:

Yesterday, I saw a couple walking from a parking lot to a funeral home. The couple probably late 30's. She was wearing a pair of sling back, peep toe pumps with a 5" stiletto heel. You could see that she was really struggling walking in those heels. Just the facial expressions said that, "I don't know why I wearing these heels". I wanted to tell her if they were my size and I doubt that they were, I would put them on and show her how easy it would be for me to walk in those heels. LOL Yes many of us guys can walk much better in heels than many women. Maybe we have more practice!

Happy Heeling,

bluejay

I guarantee you we have more practice! I never heard of a woman who purposefully goes out and walks in heels just because she likes them. I'm sure such a woman exists, but I've never met one personally. The idea of "recreational" heels is an anathema to 99.9% of women, but ask most of the guys on here, "Hey, do you want to go for an after-dinner walk?" The decision would be, hmmmm, do I wear wedges or stilettos?

How important is the sound that your heels make when you walk? I know there have been discussions about loud vs. soft in the past, some people even going so far as to pump silicone into heels to get them to quiet down, and at the opposite end of the spectrum, I seem to recall that some fellow used to have his heel tips replaced with plastic just for the increased volume, despite the fact that they wear out quickly.

What about the quality of the sound, apart from its volume? Does it have any effect on your enjoyment of wearing heels? In my own case, I do enjoy a nice, pronounced click when I take a step, and elsewhere I mentioned that I also like the flapping sound of a mule along with that click. I seem to own a lot of wooden heeled shoes, and those often make a bigger, deeper sound than your typical stiletto makes. There is one spot near my town's square where there are a number of brick buildings facing each other, and it's solid concrete street/sidewalk in between. When the wind is calm, walking in this area with a pair of loud heels creates quite a racket with all the reverberation. Love it! Maybe it's one of the reasons I'm not crazy about wedges. No noise. It just doesn't seem right.

I have joked about getting rid of shoes because they don't make the right sound, but that has actually happened once or twice. I had a pair of Calvin Klein boots once which were quite noisy. I had them reheeled with rubber heel tips, and it completely ruined the sound of the boots. The heel was almost completely silent, but the forefoot of the boot still made a rackety thudding sound which was completely lost and out-of-place without the noisy heel to accompany it. I don't know how to describe it. They sounded.  .  . stupid. I had some other issues with them, but that was the last straw. I got rid of them.

Thankfully, as I have accumulated high heeled clogs, which often make a very pleasant sound, I haven't had one where reheeling with rubber has completely robbed the shoe of its sonic character. Changed it, yes, but not to the point of no return. I am at this moment, awaiting the completion of a re-heel on a pair of wooden heeled sandals I got not too long ago which have (maybe had) a unique sound to them. We'll see what they sound like when I get them back. Hopefully not stupid.

Please tell your thoughts and stories on the sound of heels.

On 6/25/2019 at 9:48 AM, SF said:

Really love the sandals, they are a slip on toe loop style with a 2, maybe 2 1/2 inch block heel that is very walkable and looks great.  The upper is soft leather that holds my foot securely, no flapping sounds. 

No flapping sounds? That's no good! I've rejected shoes because they don't make that sound. Actually, no, I haven't, just kidding. But it's always a bonus if a shoe sounds nice in addition to looking nice. With a soft soled shoe, I find the flapping sound neutral to annoying, but with heels? There is no happier sound on earth. Flap-click...flap-click...flap-click...!

5 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

--------------

The above outings might show progress, and they are huge progress compared to what I was doing a year ago, or further back. But I am still very much conflicted with this heeling thing, and I am sure these emotions will not go away for a while yet. I am trying to challenge myself, and in the process wear my heels, and so far so good. I am still very uncomfortable showing photos or URLs of the heels, or myself. I love it when others post photos of themselves in coffeeshops, etc, but I am not comfortable with that, for various reasons.

There are several postings that tell more or less the same story. I'm not sure which one I should reply to, so I'm going to pick.  .  . this one. First of all, again, I want to say welcome to the group. I am not sure why you were a part of Jenny's group 20 years ago, but I can say for myself that I didn't wear heels back then, choosing to spend most of my energy trying to get my wife to wear heels. What a waste of time! Things were different back then, both personally and culturally, and it didn't occur to me that I could wear my own heels just like any woman until much later. I made my debut in May of 2012. I wish I could say I've never looked back, but it hasn't been quite that easy. It looks rather like a long term line graph of a stock market, with lots of peaks and valleys, but generally trending upwards.

You said elsewhere something to the effect of life would be a lot easier if you weren't this way. You have no idea how many times I've said this to myself over the years. I've even said that this year at one point. There are some people who evidently have no fear, no conflict, and either have completely supportive spouses or are single. Those are very few. Even though you won't catch me leaving the house in flats nowadays (with the exception of work--construction and heels don't really mix), my wife is not anywhere near 100% behind me on this. She kind of hates it, but tolerates it 99% of the time.

Just so you know, I do not like to take photos of myself either, but occasionally do so because sometimes words are not quite enough. I wish I could tell you that in a year, you will feel nothing but wonderful when you go out in heels. It does get better, but it is not really a light switch event for most people, it is a gradual process. Heck, even light switches are more complicated than they used to be! In closing, eventually you do have to Just Do It, but you don't have to feel like if you're not perfectly comfortable all of the time that's it's a sin. Good luck!

1 hour ago, JeffB said:

I'm curious. Why did "men's heels" in that link equate to ridiculous platform "eff me" heels, none of which I would wear even in private, never mind in public? Where are the more sedate and tasteful shoes that don't look like junk strippers or streetwalkers would parade around in? Perhaps this is just me, but I see that as a cynical stereotype that doesn't help our small heeling community.

I feel like I'm not saying anything new, but perhaps I'm remembering something I never said. It seems I am forgetting stuff I did say a lot more often these days, so I don't see why it couldn't work the other way.

We here at HHP seem to believe that there is a secret, substantial portion of the male population who either wear heels privately or would like to wear heels. It is my contention that this belief is probably correct, but not in the way that most of us would wish. I think that a majority of the secret heel wearers/wishers out there fetish people, not people who wish to incorporate elevated heel footwear into their daily wardrobe as males. I think this because there are quite a number of websites out there selling.  .  . I'll call them rather extreme styles. Some of them I would actually wear out and about, but many of them are not meant to ever touch concrete.

It makes one ask himself, "Why are there so many websites selling extreme shoes in large sizes, and in some cases even labeling them as 'men's shoes' ?" There can be but one answer: Because somebody is buying them. Shoes with 3 inch heels may be mainstream and practical, but they aren't very exciting. There's nothing wrong with having a thing for extreme shoes, but like you say, it's probably not particularly helpful for those of us who are just trying to fit into our families and communities while standing a few inches taller.

I decided to post on here instead of in the "New Shoes" thread because.  .  . well, just because. I'll have to admit, I'm not a huge fan of wedges, especially wedges from my youth (70s and 80s). The wedges I grew up with were huge honking slabs attached to women's feet, and I could never figure out why anybody in their right mind would buy something so ugly. In the last 6-8 years, I've changed my mind somewhat, for a couple of reasons. First, it seems like modern wedges are in general much less clunky than their ancestors, having a much slimmer footprint. Second, as a daily heel wearer, they are just pretty darned practical sometimes compared to something with a really narrow heel. Nevertheless, out of my 60-something pair collection, I have only 5 pairs of wedges. 7 if you count the tennis shoes, which I wore for 3 weeks in Vietnam 3 years ago, and then never again.

Up for consideration are Michael Kors tan colored wedges. They didn't come with a box, so I have no idea what the model name is. Michael Kors doesn't print it right on the inside of the shoe like Nine West and several others do. 4 3/4" heel, 1 1/8" platform, so it's a little less steep than my usual, but certainly not a low heel. The other thing that is unusual (for me) about these shoes is that they are not mules. The same is true with my other recent purchase, some Alaia sandals. I am sort of loathe to buy sandals that are not mules for some reason. I just like them. However, I bought the last two pair of non-mules pretty much solely on the strength of @HappyinHeels's suggestion that I buy some shoes that actually strap on. And so I did. They're all right, I guess. They're not mules, though. It is true that I can zoom around in these things like they were tennis shoes.

1 minute ago, crw321 said:

Thanks for useful comments. I'm actually around London alot so agree with outer areas & mingling in busy areas. I just wondered if there were a specific pub where  i might bump into heeled guys. I'd be keen to me guys who wear 4 inch heel ankle boots. I'm not too daring though!

Haha, good luck with that! Although I have never been to London, I have been publicly heeling for over 7 years, and I have yet to run into another guy wearing substantial heels (over 2").

Other than that, welcome to the site! We are not quite unicorns, but we're close. In all reality, you don't really have to be all that daring to wear heels just about anywhere, certainly not the ones pictured in your initial post. I would think that in London, or any larger Western city for that matter, you will go quite unbothered just about anywhere. Just stand up straight and smile!

To shift gears for just a moment, here's an update on the Alaïa sandals I bought, mentioned last week in the "new shoes" thread. To recap, they are very nice, and pretty much just what I wanted, but a little tight. I have now worn them 3 times, and they're loosening their grip a bit. I think they'll be fine after a few more wearings. On the first wearing, which only lasted about 30 minutes, they were tight to the point that it was difficult to get them on. Upon the second wearing, I applied a good amount of water to the parts of the one strap that is tight (right around the outside toes) and wore them for about 2 hours, plus walked a mile in them. That helped a lot. The third wearing, pictured below, did not involve a lot of walking, but was about 3 hours. They are still snug, but much different than a week ago. I think if I keep on them, they will actually become comfortable.