mlroseplant

I like the outfit overall, but there is just one thing I can't quite get over. Those boots, at least as presented in this picture, are just too big around for your legs, giving a somewhat clunky look. Plus, you're gonna get rocks down your boots every five minutes as you walk! I'd try a different pair of shoes. 

Hopefully, this ridiculously cold weather is past us now. 

Glad to hear from you again. Sounds like you are doing well. 

I'm pretty sure mine's still the same. I keep thinking that I ought to make an avatar picture, but after all these years, it probably ain't gonna happen. 

Did they wear heels on that show (One Day at a Time)? I just don't remember it being a heely kind of show. 

That's pretty novel @Jkrenzer. Is that patent gray? Pretty cool. 

On another note, I like getting new tires, but I hate paying for them. Another item, like car batteries, where the price increases in the last 10 years have been university-like in their magnitude. 

1 hour ago, Jkrenzer said:

Am I the only one who is tired of the Royals?

I was going to give a serious answer, but decided I'll let you [insert your own baseball joke here].

12 hours ago, Puffer said:

There are probably several English words (or phrases) for almost any concept, but not necessarily straightforward ones!   English is not the simplest language, nor is it the most cumbersome; I think we have the balance about right between flexibility/range of expression and ease of use.   As a wise Roman once said: In medio tutissimus ibis.

9 hours ago, Shyheels said:

...and then his mother told him to shut up and eat his breakfast.

THIS is exactly the sort of exchange I was hoping for! And as a side bonus, there have been several logical and plausible explanations to my "serious" query. Thanks, fellas, for all your replies to my sometimes absurd thread.

On 3/4/2019 at 7:17 AM, Gudulitooo said:

Perhaps it is not only between you and her.

How many friendships or relationships will she have to abandon / recreate when her friends or relations see you both in heels ?

Yes, those are good points, p1ng74, and I'd like to add on to that. Even I, who wear heels basically anywhere I want, with or without my wife, am not allowed to wear heels in a few situations. One is while we are in Vietnam. I believe that many of her family knows about my heel wearing, but they have never actually seen. Two is if we have a company function such as a Christmas party with her coworkers. Third is a certain group of Vietnamese friends we occasionally socialize with. I say a certain group because there are two separate and distinct groups--the other Vietnamese group would ask me where my heels were if I didn't wear them.

I took the opposite approach when I started wearing heels in public, and this may be the secret of my success. The very second time I wore heels in public, I marched straight into my church to be met by dozens of people I knew. When people there seemed all right with it, I figure my wife was pretty much shook her head and thought to herself, "Oh, well.  .  ." I must also reveal the fact that back then, I wasn't wearing giant stiletto heels or anything, just slightly higher heels than a man would normally wear.

Change of subject, fellows! I will be fine. There is no problem with my employer or union hall, and any chance or purposeful future meetings with my present coworkers will be fine, I'm sure. It was more of a.  .  . how do you say? RUMINATION. 'Cause I do that sometimes.

Anyway, my next rumination is one that I look very much forward to hearing your thoughts about, since we have members from both sides of the pond who generally tend to be interested in this sort of thing. And my question is this: Why do we often refer, and I say "we" because I know it's not just me, to shoes and their associated parts in the singular? By this, I mean we will often refer to shoes that have a block heel, or a 4 inch heel. Or people will say something like, "You ought to pair that outfit with a smart nude pump." I find myself doing this all the time, and I've heard it so many times that it doesn't sound bad, even though it is technically grammatically incorrect. Fashion people will even sometimes go so far as to refer to "a flat-front pant." Which, come to think of it, makes a good deal more sense than referring to shoes in the singular. What are your thoughts on this? Am I allowed to refer to my new sandals which have a 4 1/2" heel without getting a bunch of static from people, particularly from my UK brethren?

P.S. I am looking forward to a lot of tongue-in-cheek answers. Just so you know.

Yes, there are too many choices which are not mutually exclusive. I chose "mules," which is not a heel type at all, but rather a whole shoe type. It just so happens that more than half my shoe collection is mules, both closed- and open-toed, with a variety of heel types including stiletto, block, and wedge. Theoretically, my favorite type of shoe would be open-toed stiletto mules, but what I wind up wearing most of the time are mules with a thicker heel, as it is often more practical for several reasons. 

15 hours ago, RonC said:

I am disappointed that the photos were removed as I never got to see them - but it doesn't sound as if there was anything offensive?  If it has to do with being crossdressed, Jeff does that and posts the photos all the time, including some where he is wearing make=up etc., and everyone is fine with that.  Not a poke at Jeff, but then why can't others post while dressed?

No, it really wasn't offensive in any way, but it showed fake boobs (through a conservative blouse, but clearly there) and a wig. It states in the rules that there is to be no crossdressing/transgender material posted here. As far as I can see, the way the court (i.e., Tech) applies that rule is that if you have a combination of features in your photo that violate the rule, it's going to get deleted. Jeff's pictures are OK because he doesn't present as a woman (see his tag line). No fake boobs, no wigs, no attempt to "pass."  That's the way I see it, at any rate. I'm not agreeing or disagreeing with any of this, I'm just telling you what I have observed in the past, and how I believe it is being applied at present.

I think that perhaps my concerns were misunderstood somewhat. It isn't my employer that I'm worried about in the least. Heck the ultimate customer is one of those left-coast social media concerns, and they'd probably let me wear heels to work if I worked directly for them! Well, maybe not, but it wouldn't be beyond the realm of possibility, depending on the job. The thoughts I actually had several posts ago were about my individual coworkers, and how they might react. I don't have all my longtime friends working with me on this one, unlike the last job.

1 hour ago, hernaezjames said:

What do you mean exactly?

Oh, that's easy. Fake boobs.

I will admit, I have not tried on a ton of clothes in changing rooms in the U.S. In Vietnam, it's a whole different ball game, most small shops don't have anything like what we would call a "dressing" or "changing" room, you just go in the back of a cramped shop the size of my living room and hide behind a curtain, but I digress. Maybe I am not sensitive enough, but I don't recall a changing room situation in the U.S. where you are mixed with anybody, male or female, in anything other than a full state of dress. It's not like using a bathroom (toilet). What's the problem?

I have been thinking (because I do that sometimes) lately about all of the people at work who don't know about my rather unconventional fashion choices. I had a fairly stable work situation from 2014-2018, but about six months ago, I was laid off and had to get a different job. For those of you not familiar with how employment in the construction industry works, this run was unreal and unprecedented. I have never experienced such craziness in my nearly 23 year career as a 4 year run at a job. Typically, jobs last anywhere from a few days to nine months, then it's on to the next job. A nine month stint is our definition of stability.

However, it looks like the new job I'm at will also be years-long, if I don't screw things up. Thing is, at the old job, people knew what I dressed like outside of work. That is not true at the new job, and I've been thinking quite a bit about that lately. It's not a matter of if, it's a matter of when someone finds out. I am a little nervous about it, because this is a much smaller and tight-knit job than my old job. My Big Boss is a decent enough fellow, but he kind of follows the Macho Bullshit mold that many in the construction industry continue to adhere to. I have, for some dumb reason, managed to ingratiate myself to him through a mixture of hard work, steady attendance, and geeky math ability when it's helpful. But I do wonder how it might or might not affect my job if and when it is discovered what I actually look like in the real world.

I tend to shy away from discussions like this, but in this case I feel compelled to reply.

First of all, let me tell you Brother.  .  . I feel for you. My wife also hates my heel wearing, but for whatever reason she tolerates me, and tolerates me quite extensively, with some well defined, carved-out exceptions. I honestly cannot tell you the reasons why our significant others object to our fashion choices, but I will hazard a guess that it is really a hangup with the idea of being different. I guess I don't really know what to tell you, other than to keep talking if you can. I hope she realizes that you're the most normal guy, only 3-4 inches taller outside the house.

What p1ng74 says makes a great deal of sense. In fact, that's kind of how I started out, and my wife got used to me in slightly elevated heels and had very little problem with it. The difference between you and me, and I believe also p1ng74, is that we evolved after we were married, and a little bit at a time. It wasn't like one day we came out of the bedroom wearing five inch Louboutins and tight skirts and said to our wives, "What do you think of me now?" I saw your pictures of your short skirts and your pointy-toed stiletto pumps and thought, "How can his girlfriend suddenly object to some pretty tame block heeled boots with pretty ordinary pants?" Then I read back a few pages and realized, "Oh.  .  . his girlfriend don't know about that shit, does she?" And therein, you have a problem. The true "you" is kind of far away, at least in fashion sense, from the "you" that you have presented to her. I realize I am not telling you anything that you don't already know. I'm just putting it right out here in print for open discussion.

I apologize if I come off as being anything but sympathetic, because I am, in fact, very sympathetic with your plight. I think that nearly all of us on this forum who are seriously attached to another person have been through, or live this every day to one degree or another. Carry on, Brother, and try to make the best of it. Now is not the time for rash action. I wish I had better advice, but the only advice I can really think of is that Logic has nothing to do with any of this. You can't Logic your way out of this. Well, why could you? Heels in and of themselves are illogical, but we love them anyway. Just treat her extra kind while you two are experiencing this change together. Who knows what good things might happen?

I am back home. I am happy to report that the worst thing that happened the entire trip was that the final flight home was delayed for 45 minutes. In other words, it was a perfect trip, logistically anyway.

I am in my fifth day back, and I'm up extra early, but I'm feeling much better, jet-lag-wise. That first day back to work was a doozie. I went to church on Sunday, and wore heels for several hours straight. Like I say every time I come back, wearing heels is not like riding a bicycle (i.e., you never forget how), it's like dancing ballet or playing an instrument. You take three weeks off, and you can tell. Just as soon as I can manage to stay awake after supper, I will begin practicing again in earnest!

53 minutes ago, JeffB said:

Hmm! Most interesting! But, what would one wear with such shoes?

Probably when kicking some ass in a dark alley?

Seriously, these are not new--my elder son had a pair for a while, minus the heel, but he's somewhat obsessed with all things Japanese.  I really don't every expect to run into a pair of these on the streets of Iowa, or even Chicago anytime soon. Well, ever.

6 minutes ago, Mr. X said:

Here is my latest acquisition.  They are studded candy striped t-bar slingback heels.  The brand is Wild Diva Lounge.  They look and fit great!  The only drawback is the colour.  It will be hard to pair them with things.

This style of shoe is very popular this year in Hanoi, Vietnam. I saw this exact shoe worn by many women, usually in a nude or nude patent color.

To simply answer the question, but to ignore all the baggage that has come along with the question, yes, it has happened on several occasions. 

I have been defended by both male and female companions, but every time I can recall, it has been in a bar, and the "aggressors" have been Under the Influence. 

The time is drawing near for me to leave this place and come back home. The only sense of dread that I have, besides the more-than-24-hour-journey, is that I'm guessing there will be at least 2 feet of snow waiting for me. It seems that for the first time, we actually escaped some substantial, sustained bad weather.

The only heel news I have is that heels are alive and well here in Hanoi, Vietnam, much more so than in the USA. The only slightly disturbing thing is a trend toward Lucite block heels of about 2 - 4". Often, the entire shoe/sandal is made from Lucite or some clear plastic, and they just don't look good to my eye. Even if you completely discount the "stripper shoe" vibe, which you absolutely can, as Lucite has never been associated with strippers or stripper shoes here in Asia, plastic just doesn't look as nice as leather for a shoe. And let's face it, once the plastic straps stretch even a little bit, they never quite fit right, and you get things like nasty-looking toe overhang and such. Hopefully, it's a short-lived trend. There are still plenty of classic pumps and sandals around, both with block and stiletto heels. Wedges, outside of "sports" type shoes, do not seem to be as popular this year. I can say with some certainty that huge platforms of over 1" thick are dead. I have not seen even one pair of 6" heels with 2" platform this year, and several years back they were everywhere. Most popular for office gals who wear heels are either black patent or nude patent pointy-toed pumps with stiletto heels between 3 and 4 inches. Lower than that, gals tend to wear block heels, and I have to say that the most popular shoes for the general population, even for office gals, is flat or nearly flat shoes, which is not at all surprising. It's just that you see WAY more heels here than back home, even in the city.

On a completely different note, that corn that I finally got rid of, discussed in the "Infirmary" section, seems to be acting as I'd hoped. The skin underneath of it has now had a week to toughen up and heal completely, and I have noticed that my toe does not rub inside my shoe like it used to. Of course, I will not know for sure until I get back home and go to work for 10 hours a day. That will be the true test. It had gotten to be a never-ending cycle: because my toe was physically bigger, it rubbed the inside of my boot. Because it rubbed the inside of my boot, it refused to go away on its own. It almost makes me look forward to going back to work just to find out. Almost.

22 hours ago, p1ng74 said:

As someone suggested in another thread, women tend to have longer legs and shorter torsos compared to men of the same overall height.  And if the pants are styled to be actually work at the waist, the pants can be a bit longer.  It’s wonderful - found another in size 4 tonight that fits way better than anything I’ve ever found in the men’s section.  Will be rotating these into my office attire for sure.  

I know it is conventional wisdom that women have longer legs for a given total body height in general, but I am not so sure about that. I think that might be a myth. Seems like years ago, we had a discussion about it somewhere on this forum, and I think perhaps that notion was proven wrong. It is not a myth that in my case, women must have longer legs than me, because I have had to shorten practically all of the women's pants I have ever bought. On the other hand, I have also had to shorten nearly all of the men's pants I have ever bought. In spite of this fact, I don't really feel like my legs look ridiculously disproportionate to the rest of me. See the attached photo, which shows my new size 4 Nine West branded jeans, which I had to have shortened by 4 1/2 inches to stop at my ankle. Yes, I know, no heels. Heels are not allowed on the bowling lane, and also not allowed on me at all while I am here in Vietnam. Don't worry, we're coming home soon. Another observation is that while size 4 are skin tight on me, they are reasonably roomy on you! I'm looking at the one pair of dressier pants that I have here, and I have cut the tag out of them for some reason. I can't remember whether they are size 4 or size 6. Given their relative looseness, I'll bet they are size 6. In any case, they will be what I wear on the plane trip home, being looser and softer.

I suppose it's just like any other cleavage. Some people look great showing it, and some do not! Having said that, I'm not a huge fan. Not that I don't like toes, it's just that seeing the wrong end of them in closed-toed shoes just looks a little funny to me most of the time. Like it interrupts some sort of clean line.

As it's been about half a year, and I have time at present to make a report, I will do so. The update on the issues is in the same order as they appeared in the original post, for easier reference.

1. The bone spur. It hasn't changed any in appearance, but for some reason it has stopped bothering me for the present. For several months after my visit in July, I had to make sure I covered it up with something, usually just a heavy duty Band-Aid (or sticking plaster), but it just stopped bothering me for no apparent reason. Hopefully that situation holds.

2. The corn on my little toe. It has continued to bother me, but it's a mere annoyance rather than a serious issue. Or, I should say, was a mere annoyance. I'd been putting off doing anything about it because I was afraid of making my work life miserable, as I often walk a lot during the day. However, after I arrived in Vietnam, knowing I wouldn't have to return to work for three weeks, I started applying salicylic acid to it. It became somewhat sensitive at times, but I persisted for about a week until the whole thing finally peeled off in a rather disconcerting large, thick sheet of dead skin. So it's gone. Only time will tell if my feeling is right that it doesn't really need to be there anymore--I got rid of the shoes that originally caused it, and my toe's new, smaller size should prevent any future abrasion, particularly in my work boots.

2a. I have been taping my little toes tightly with medical tape when I go to work so they won't fold under. It has made a remarkable difference. They are straighter, less sensitive, and more attractive.

3. Toenail fungus. I am happy to report that the Vicks Vapo-Rub and tea tree oil seems to have worked. I won't claim that there is NO fungus, or that my nails appear 100% normal, but I will say that it is 80% of what I had hoped for, and continuing treatment will hopefully knock out the problem even more. The doctor did tell me it would take a year, as a practical matter. He wasn't lying. My nails are much thinner and smoother than they were six months ago, but it's been a very slow process.

4. Big toenail curling weirdly and wanting to become ingrown. Sometime shortly after I visited the podiatrist, I began examining this toenail more carefully (with my glasses on), and decided that it, too, had a slight fungal infection, and that perhaps this was causing the change in shape. It wasn't super obvious like the other two infected toenails, though. So I began treating this toenail also with the Vapo-Rub and the tea tree oil. This toenail is of course much bigger in size and is taking much longer to grow all the way out, but I can tell a difference. The overly thick part has already grown out, and it hasn't caused me any discomfort for at least two months.

So, the good news is that perhaps I am not completely falling apart. The bad news is that it takes some good deal of effort to KEEP from falling apart.