mlroseplant

I have perhaps become jaded by my life experience. I had my first pedicure in Southern Califormia back in 1994 at a Vietnamese nail salon, and I just loved it. 

Fast forward 17 years, and I found myself married to a Vietnamese woman, hanging out in a nail salon with my wife's friends. I got free pedicures all the time. I became fast friends with one of the women working there, and my feet were fairly constantly pampered. There was some quid pro quo, as I did work for her in my area of expertise, but then came the sad day when she decided to quit the nail business. Sad for me, good for her. I'm not sure it's the healthiest profession. 

After that, I would occasionally bug the women who were still working there for pedicures, and they would give them to me (they have consistently refused to take my money), but it just wasn't the same as it was with my friend. So eventually I stopped going there. To me, my feet are kind of personal, and I'm not going to let just anybody touch them. I learned well from observing the nail shop girls, and so today, I do my own. I usually do my 6 year old son at the same time. 

See the two attached photos: Me and my son on pedicure night, and me and my friend, the former nail technician, who is a high heel girl, and accepts me for who I am at face value. 

On December 29, 2015 at 9:34 AM, JeffB said:

Interesting! Please be sure to let us know how those sweaters work out for you.

Alas, fellas! I received my sweaters yesterday, and they are too small! I plan to return/exchange, and we'll try again in another week. 

TBG--I'm not sure I could pull off the fur, but it's a look I would be willing to experiment with. 

On occasion, I am asked whether I wear heels to make me taller. It's a fair question, as I am a shortish man (5'5 1/2" or 167cm in bare feet) in a society which values height in so many subtle ways. Most are surprised when I tell them that no, there are many reasons why I like to wear heels, but the fact that they happen to make me appear taller is not one of them. 

In fact, even after 3 years of wearing heels on a regular basis, I still find it a little disconcerting how it changes the angle at which I look upon other people. For example, in the attached photo, it feels somewhat unnatural to me that I should stand nearly a head taller than my wife, who is actually only 2 1/2" shorter than me. Happy Holidays, by the way--we happen to celebrate Christmas. 

Having looked at the world one way for 45 years, it is still surprising to me just how much difference a few inches makes. I tend to notice it much more with people I've known a long time who are close to my height or shorter. Very tall people are, of course, still very tall, so I don't notice it as much. People who are very short, like the old ladies at church, suddenly seem very far away from my face when I talk to them, and it is a bit of an uncomfortable feeling. I don't know how you tall people manage, haha. 

I have a friend who is a tallish woman. I guess her to be about 5'9", maybe 5'10". After literally (and figuratively) looking up to her for so many years, it seems very strange to look at her straight on, as my heel heights have risen to the 5" range. Actually, that would be a good topic for discussion the next time I visit with her. 

Has anyone else felt this same awkwardness about viewing the world from a different angle?

I am looking forward to my first long sweaters. I have these coming in the mail on Wednesday. I can't wait to try them out. I hope they look 1/10th as good on me as they do on the model, who is a total CUTIE. Can anyone say "impulse shopping?"

I think about posting on my thread often, because I think about high heels a lot. Sometimes, I wonder why I think about high heels so much. It seems unnatural to be attached to mere objects the way I am, but that's just the way it is. So I think about posting a lot. Actually getting around to posting is another matter, because what seems like a clever and insightful thought in the morning seems quite silly and insignificant by the end of the day when I actually have time to put it down on electronic paper. And then there is the matter of making a smooth introduction to my subject, after explaining why I haven't posted for so long. Today, however, I have some news of a physical accomplishment, the importance of which hasn't diminished with the passing of time.

Before I get to the accomplishment, I should explain, if I haven't before, that it is my goal to walk 1,000 miles in high heels. I've made it about 800 miles so far. Granted, it's taken me 2 1/2 years to get this far, but I don't have unlimited time, and my motivation/energy level is not always as much as I would like. In fact, this year I have made a pathetic effort. I have several months in 2015 where my miles logged are either zero, or in the single digits. However, December 2015 has been a good month, with 32.5 miles logged so far and five days yet unlived! It's been a combination of unusually warm weather, days off from work, and momentary freedom from social obligations which has allowed me to to this.

Now, for the accomplishment: Last nigh, I walked 5.3 miles (or 8.5 km) in "serious" heels, which are pictured below. I've done this once before in high heels, but it was in a pair of shoes with much lower and broader heels. I seem to have few effects from this walk, which was spur-of-the-moment, other than a tender (but not painful) left little toe. I'll still be wearing heels to church this morning. It took me about an hour and 40 minutes, at a pace of 18:47 per mile. Not a bad pace for such high heels. When I finished my walk, I didn't feel like I had to immediately get out of my boots, I was actually feeling pretty good.

The boots are Simply Vera Wang Velma. They have slightly higher than 5 inch heels, and slightly thicker than 1 inch platforms, so it is the equivalent steepness of 4 inch heels. These are cheap boots. They are not leather, and you can (or could, in the past) buy them retail at Kohl's for way less than 100 bucks, and that's if they weren't on sale. My very first pair of high heeled boots was identical to this in every way except for the buckles, and I threw them away after one season because they just wore out. I thought to myself that I would find a very similar pair that was real leather and higher quality. I still haven't found that perfect pair yet. I found another pair of these Simply Veras on ebay, however. In fact, I found 2 pair. I bought them both, and have taken steps to increase their durability. They truly are the perfect boots for me, I just wish they were leather. I have several other pairs of leather boots, but these are my day in, day out winter footwear. I know I can put them on quickly, not fuss with them, they go with everything, the heel is nice and high like I like it, but yet I know I can wear them all day if necessary. Although I love stilettos, I find that the slightly thicker heels of these boots are so much more practical in many ways.

Hopefully, I have more adventures to report before the end of the year.

1 hour ago, Thighbootguy said:

The story was from Oregon and even though it was 2008 the response of the town didn't surprise me too much. But your getting a similar response in Iowa floors me.  I guess I have been listening to too much election coverage and have gotten an image of an extremely conservative, non tolerant population.  I'm glad I'm wrong.  Thanks for sharing your experience.

Nah, we're still a swing state. I always like to say that even if people find me odd or distasteful, Iowans are too polite to say anything. Unless it's a carful of teenaged boys, haha. That's the only trouble I've ever had. Fact is, the people I've known and grown up with respect me, and I respect them, even if I disagree with them. 

I have to be careful not to get into a big political discussion, which would cause this thread to be shut down. 

On 12/14/2015 at 7:33 AM, Thighbootguy said:

The shoes look great and you must like them too if you have had to reheel them.  My advice is to banish that image of Kim Jung-il from your mind and replace it with something like this :

Always enjoy your heels.

 

Oh, that's another problem for me. I do see that image in my mind when I pick out my clothes and shoes. Unfortunately, reality doesn't bear this out at all. Seriously, I seem to have gotten over the Kim Jung-il thing, and I've tailored a pair of pants (with the help of my tailor friend, also a big high heel fan) which hang nicely over the shoes in question, and I've worn them quite a bit more often lately.

On December 12, 2015 at 3:22 PM, Thighbootguy said:

Radiolab on NPR reran a story about Stu Rasmussen who, in 2008 very slowly, became a transgender person in a small town in Oregon and wound up being elected mayor for three terms.  I know that hhplace is not a transgender site but many of the things that happened to Stu are applicable to guys wearing heels in public (which Stu did).  The towns support for Stu was surprising and heart warming.  This is a link to the 20 minute original story and  5 more minutes that brings the story up to date.

Radiolab New Stu

By the way, if you are new to Radiolab, the audio quality is top notch and is best appreciated when heard with headphones.

I finally got a chance to listen to this story, and as I was listening, it struck me that the people in this town are very much like the people in my small town. I heard many people in the interviews say something to the effect of, "Oh...well that's just Stu." I get that all the time. "Oh...well that's just 'Melrose.' "

Of course, my case isn't nearly as extreme, as I am not anywhere close to transgender, but the sentiment is the same. I grew up with these people. They know me for more than just my heels. Also, like the girlfriend/partner, my wife seems to hear more whispers and see more looks than I do. 

Thank you for sharing this, TBG. It made me feel more positive about myself. 

I haven't had any trouble uploading photos from my iPhone, but I have had the same experience as you of getting kicked off the site for no apparent reason (necessitating re-sign in). It doesn't happen nearly as often as you describe, however. Sorry I can't be more helpful. 

I have been inspired by a thread elsewhere in this forum to make a report. I went to the dentist yesterday, as I do every six months, for a regular cleaning. I have gone to this dentist for.  .  . oh, I bet it's been the better part of 20 years. I had seen the same dental hygienist for about 17 of those 20 years, but had recently switched to a different one. Yesterday, for some reason, I had the former hygienist, and it was a kind of glorious reunion. But that's not really relevant to this forum.

Soon into the examination/cleaning, heck even before the x-rays were finished, she commented, "Wow, how can you even walk in those heels? I couldn't do it!" Then, quite naturally, we began to have a conversation about how it is that I, an otherwise pretty normal, straight male, came to wear high heels every day. She seemed quite accepting of it by her replies, facial expressions, and body language. She admitted that she never wore heels because she thinks she is too tall. I think that maybe I convinced her to change that attitude. I think we all love to see a tall woman in heels.

Like I've said before, I think we can change the world, one person at a time. Keep the faith, my brothers!

I also identify with this "lull." I have been out and about in heels every day, and even today I had a very interesting conversation with my dental hygienist about my heels, but it almost seems too boring to report. Perhaps I should report more, if only for the sake of the community and the future make heelers of the world. 

On November 30, 2015 at 12:04:16, jerbare said:

I really like those heels but in the Dakotas we are getting more snow it would be hard to push the snowblower in 6" heels 

Haha, that's why I have some 5" boots for that purpose. 

Yeah, I like sweaters. I have one particular favorite that my wife knitted for me before we were married. I am thinking about trying some longer sweaters, and wearing them with leggings this winter. 

I see that I have had no ruminations for over two months. I have been working a lot, but I have been heeling faithfully when not at work.

I very recently had an instant message conversation with my 28 year old niece. I have reproduced the portion which is relevant to this forum. See the attachment, and know that attitudes can be changed, one person at a time. This is the same person who, less than 2 years ago, said that heels were for girls only. Now she wants to be like me! Hahahaha! Seriously, it does feel good to be affirmed like that. Enjoy!

On November 9, 2015 at 19:05:23, HappyinHeels said:

The time of day also has an effect as most tend to retain more water in the morning than in the evening.  HappyinHeels

Finally, one person who agrees with me about this particular subject. Every article I've ever read, without fail, says to buy your shoes in the late afternoon, when your feet are supposedly at their biggest. This has never been my experience. I guarantee you my feet are always bigger in the morning. 

2 hours ago, Chorlini said:

On the other hand, how great a companion, or how good can the connection be if she can't accept an important part of who you are?

LuvsStiletto's approach basically says, there are plenty of fish in the sea, if you don't like it, tough like, I'll find somebody who will. He approaches it from a viewpoint of abundance. Yours, if I interpret it correctly, seems to approach it from a viewpoint of scarcity. That if you find somebody who you are compatible with in many ways you should hold on to her and if need be compromise, because ultimately such a person is rare.

I never understood the attitude of some of you who talk about getting permission from their wives/girlfriend. I get it that its hard to introduce heels into the relationship. I get it that its even harder the longer you wait. Or if there are kids involved. But as LuvStiletto said, reverse things around the other way. How weird and creepy does it sound if a wife/girlfriend has to ask her husband/boyfriend for permission to do anything basically? We'd call social workers, maybe even the police if we heard a woman tell such a thing. And yet for men it seems to have become the norm. Oh no, can't do that, the wife would kill me!

I think that perhaps HiH is speaking more generally than that. Sure, there are certain things which one should not compromise at the beginning of a relationship, for example, one's choice to wear what he likes. In that case, there are plenty of other women in this world, I agree. 

What I believe HiH means is that if this extreme attitude of "I'll do whatever I want, when I want, and how I want, because I want to" becomes a person's basic philosophy of life, rather than just applying to certain things, well .  .  . a long term relationship is probably not in that person's future. 

Having said that, if I were single, I wouldn't bother pursuing a relationship with somebody who didn't like my shoes. Even then, they wouldn't have to like ALL of them. Just most of them. 

On November 8, 2015 at 10:56:09, freestyle75 said:

So... I just was at the high heel training. In a nutshell: The main advantage is that

1. you have got ample space to walk along a "catwalk" (not comparable to one's living room)
2. you have got someone watching you and giving you instructions on how to improve your walking style

The training was setup as a personal training, meaning that I had full 2 hours of undivided attention of a teacher who has studied sports & dancing. She also wore heels and had an amazing walk - it looked quite effortless.

Me... well... I wanted to learn how to walk in my most difficult boots/shoes, so I took about 10 pairs of those shoes/boots that I either haven't worn yet at all, or have worn them, but had some difficulty. The whole meeting took place at a community center where they also teach dance classes, so there was ample space to walk.

We started off by me walking with the boots that I came with, which were quite easy to walk in - just for the teacher to take a look at how I normally walk. We then did some "warmup" exercises, which is something like standing up on your toes, then bending your knees, then getting up again, etc., so your muscles (especially the calf muscles) get warmed up.

The whole exercise part makes sense if you go for higher heels than you normally wear, as you can train your calf and ankle muscles, so they can deal with the higher height of the heel. Anyway.... it was then that I switched to a pair of stiletto heels that I haven't worn so far for various reasons. First, "stiletto" still feels felt a bit too feminine for me to wear outside, second, I so far lacked the stability of my trusted block heels and wasn't sure whether my walk would be "clumsy" at best.

First thing (and also the question that I started this thread with): You walk in heels as you would walk in flats. No different shift of weight. This heel-to-toe thing also works weight-shift-wise, so you do NOT go heel - toe - shift weight to toe. Rather you go heel, partial shift of weight, toe, full shift of weight, just as you would normally do.

As I have walked quite a lot in block heels, it only took a few times walking up and down the room to "get" the way I have to walk in stiletto boots. Nice. The teacher said that weight-shift wise and how I would walk, this would be great already, but that it would look nicer to walk in a line, and to keep the posture more "up".

Meaning (posture): I tend to look down when I am walking. To see where I am going, but also to avoid stepping into dog excrements This way, my whole posture is more downward-bent, which doesn't look nice. So the teacher first worked on the posture, meaning keeping (mostly) a straight back, and also looking more towards the horizon instead of the next 50 inches of where you are going.

Regarding the virtual line, I just finished a drawing to explain:

 

Naturally, we walk like the leftmost illustration shows. Once people start to hear that in heels they should "walk across a virtual line", it often happens that the left foot is a bit skewed to the right, and the right foot to the left (second left illustration). This is also heavily dependend on the shoe that you are walking with.

This happened at first quite a lot with my stiletto boot, but not at all with my block heels (we tried several pairs to see the difference).

There are two different textbook-approaches or "schools" (opinions) on how the ideal walk-along-a-line walk should be done: The Berlin and the London school.

The Berlin school keeps the foot straight when walking the line, whereas in the London school, the left foot is skewed a bit to the left, whereas the right foot is a bit skewed to the right. Both ways are "right", and it depends on what feels more natural to you when walking.

Personally, I felt that with the London school type of walk, it became more difficult to balance the weight onto the full foot, and not only on the side of the foot.

Finally, there is the exaggerated walk that you see on the runways. The trainer paid close attention that this was NOT happening, as it looks a bit strange if you are walking this way along a street.

 

Another thing that she corrected was the length of stride and the speed of walk. Yes, often they say that with heels, your stride "naturally" becomes shorter. But the effect that happens is that you are only taking baby steps which you then try to offset by walking faster. The better way is to consciously take (a bit) longer strides, but walk slower. There is a fine balance between too short and too long strides, so these cannot be explained in a text, but it was great having a trainer who could give me that guidance.

After some boots with a short shaft, we also switched to some very short ankle boots (the right pair in this picture) that were the most difficult to walk in, as there is not much stability in the whole shoe. I wouldn't have managed to walk in that shoe for longer periods, but once the trainer noticed that I had some difficulty, she took an extra half an hour to do some practices in this pair. Yes, we also did the exercise where you place a book onto your head and walk the catwalk up and down - without the book falling off your head. I managed to do this even with the most difficult pair. They are still the most difficult, but manageable now.

When switching back to my ankle boot Pradas after this extremely difficult pair (Pradas, which I had considered "difficult" cause of the nearly non-existent platform before), it felt like I would switch to sneakers. When I did the walk then, she trainer was in awe at how I walked.

We ended the training with some relaxation movements for your feet. Get one of these to do the same at home.

To summarize: If you have the chance to visit such a training (preferably a personal training), I can wholeheartedly recommend it. For me, my most difficult to walk in boots/shoes became either enjoyable or at least manageable, and the way I walk has changed considerably. I am certain that from now on my stilettos won't be sitting in their boxes as they did before.

 

How absolutely fascinating! I am glad to read your post, and I am glad to know that I am practicing the right things. 

One handicap I face is that I am naturally bowlegged. That single feature is what causes me to be the most self-conscious about wearing heels. After a couple of years of self-guided training, I am now able to touch my knees together without bending my knees, but I know I will never be as graceful as my straight-legged counterparts. I feel the most confident in the winter, when I am wearing my long trench coat, which covers up the majority of my bowed legs. 

I am curious. Now that you have spent two hours with a professional trainer, who told you that you actually walk pretty well, do you still believe that it's your fault that your boots broke? For the record, I never believed that for a minute. I think they were defective. 

After some careful observation and experimentation, I managed to fix the problem temporarily with some layers of duct tape. There is a low spot (or high spot, depending on your point of reference) right under the left edge of the ball of the foot. Now, it is just a matter of finding some material that is a little more durable than duct tape to glue to the sole in just the right spot. 

Or, I may return to the cobbler, as I think I have worn these for the last time until Spring. Surely I will have some time off between now and April. 

Perhaps my reply was a bit too jaded. I actually once lusted after Dansko Raes, but opted instead for the slightly more affordable Söfft Aviano, which is basically the same height and style. I used to wear these everywhere, but as you have indicated you will do in the future, I was looking to move up in heel height, and I did so eventually. 

 I am familiar with the Michael Kors clogs you refer to in your reply to Steve. I think they are a good choice. I have a couple of similar pairs myself, albeit in a slightly different style. 

As far as being a boot cut jean guy, I have a couple of thoughts about that. First, as you move up in heel height, you really should have jeans/pants that are hemmed slightly longer to accommodate the heels. I am lucky to have a friend who is a tailor who is very accepting of my heel wearing, and who is willing to offer helpful suggestions. 

Secondly, I can tell you from experience that if you go from boot cut pants which are properly hemmed for heels to skinnies, a lot more people will notice. Boot cut pants hide a lot. 

Good luck with your future endeavors!

I have never in my life experienced that many reactions all in one outing, particularly wearing something as nondescript as Dansko clogs. But then, where I live, people are generally too polite to say anything, if they even notice. 

Congratulations on your first pubic outing. For me, it was a slow and nervous process, but now I am mostly confident, three years later. In fact, now I rarely leave the house in less than a 4 inch heel, unless I'm going to work. I look forward to hearing about your experiences in the future. 

Don't worry, Kevin. I think you'll be fine. There are plenty of girls still riding semi-automatics in stilettos in Vietnam. If they can do it, you can do it. 

I have just tried it for the first time. My bike has been parked for a couple of years, so until now, I never had the thought (nor owned the shoes) to try riding it in heels.

 With my 3 1/2" wedge boots that are my "work" high heels, the difference is pretty much unnoticeable to me, except that it's way easier to reach the ground for this shorty. When I tried something with a 4 1/2" heel, not stiletto but on the thin side, that made things considerably more awkward. I doubt I'll ever do that again. I didn't feel unsafe necessarily, but it's not too practical, and I can only imagine the jeers at stoplights. 

Thanks for the compliment!

Oh yes, my favorite subject--the business of actually walking in heels. First, let me tell you, there is no way that a person can possibly walk naturally without putting the heel down first. Any other way would just look stupid. Second, I can tell you from experience that a lot of high heeled shoes are simply not designed with durability in mind. After all, who actually walks in high heels? 

Having said that, as you can see from the picture below, I do not take mincing steps, and I haven't ever had a problem with heel breakage. I've had a strap break on a sandal before, but I'm sure it was just defective. Shame, too. Perhaps it is because I weigh only 138 lbs/63 kg, or perhaps it is because I have a smooth, measured stride (I practice walking every day with a book balanced on the top of my head. I know--but try it! You'll like it!), but my heels do not seem to flex at all. I think your boots are defective, not your walk.