mlroseplant

2 hours ago, Puffer said:

Where is the evidence of 'acceptance'?   I don't condone intolerance of or antagonism towards those who are 'different' in appearance or lifestyle but that is not to say that they are truly 'accepted' or welcomed by the population generally.   The whole issue is clouded by the restrictions (legal and otherwise) on what may be said or done that is allegedly of a discriminatory nature.   Silence does not amount to acquiescence.   We can scarcely expect freedom of dress when we increasingly restrict freedom of expression in other forms.   

There is no question that many changes have taken place over the last decade, and many of those changes have resulted in better conditions and better lives for several groups of people, most notably the LGBT community (god, I hate using the word "community," but it's used frequently and it's expedient, so there it is). To address something that directly affects my personal life on a daily basis, I know there is no way in hell I could have worn what I wear as recently as 20 years ago without serious and frequent harassment, even here in polite Iowa. There is indeed greater acceptance of some things, even if begrudging.

This shift in attitude does come with "restrictions," as you say, but there was, at least in the United States, a sort of tipping point where attitudes shifted, not because of any laws, but for other, more powerful reasons. This has taken place rapidly, and I have no explanation for it. Obviously, there is still a great deal of controversy over anything involving sex or gender or reproduction. My church denomination may wind of splitting up because of it. However, that doesn't minimize the progress we've made as a society in general. We just have a lot more work to do still.

If I may ask, what is the advantage of the sliding actuator on this stretcher vs. the screw-type featured on most shoe stretchers, high heeled or otherwise? I've had ok luck with shoe stretchers, but I've had just as much luck wetting the shoes down heavily, then wearing them until they dry. I guess this wouldn't work well with suede, would it?

Sort of depends on why it's wobbly. If it's just because the heel has come loose, you should be able to fix it yourself. Peel up the insole of the shoe to expose the screws holding the heel on to the shoe. You may find that they are loose. If so, I would recommend replacing them with the next size larger screw, whatever it is. I might also epoxy the heel to the shoe when you replace the screws. That ought to hold things steady for quite a while.

On the other hand, if the heel seems securely attached, but there is still wobbliness, it's probably a bent or broken shank, and then you're pretty much screwed. I've had this happen to me several times, and it's very frustrating. It all comes of walking in shoes that are not really meant to be walked in.

I know I said I wasn't going to post any more pictures, so I guess I'm a liar. I decided to wear my one and only pair of red shoes today, and managed to get a shot of them in the real world. They are BCBG Paris, made in Brazil. They have a 4 3/4" heel with 7/8" platform.

My favorite way of making shorts is to cut off pants or jeans that fit well. I either just leave them raggedy, or better yet, get my friend who happens to be a tailor, and is willing to collaborate with me on such things, hem them up.

57 minutes ago, KneeBooted said:

Well today is the day for the San Francisco pride parade and I get the amazing opportunity to be in it!

Work participates in the parade each year and now that I live out here in the Bay Area, I am seizing the moment!

I realize that some of you may think that wearing heels at the pride parade doesn’t help eliminate the stereotype that men in heels must be gay/bi.

However, I am going more to show support for my friends at work who identify as lqbtq. The plan is to have an awesome time and enjoy the day.

I am posting my two outfit choices below. The only difference is choice of pants. The weather states that it will likely be windy with a high in the 60s up in the city. This may cause me to want to wear the jeans versus shorts. Let me know what you think!

Regardless of the temperature, you're comparing skinny jeans to "Dad" shorts. You gotta go with the jeans! Or different shorts. In any case, have fun!

Maybe it's just me, but I guess it seems to be a requirement that a shoe have a giant, thick heel, whether high or low, to be considered masculine. And the shoe had probably better be a boot.

19 hours ago, Cali said:

When I first started to wear heels (2-3 inch) I was very concern about the noise giving out clues that I was wearing heels. I even had a pair 's soles replaced with rubber. I learned how to avoid places where the sound would be louder. That as about a decade ago.

But when you live in shorts and heels during the summer months, there is no hiding your heels, so sound they might generate is not an issue. I now embrace the sound. And I have wedges that click.

The noisiest place for me is walking down concrete steps in wooden heels like these.

Yes, I think wooden heels are my favorite when it comes to quality of sound. The plastic heels that come on most shoes in my price range just don't have the same warmth. It has been several years since I largely switched to straight cut jeans or shorts for the summertime, so yes, hiding the heels is not a concern anymore.

17 hours ago, Jkrenzer said:

This morning I wore a pair of 5 inch stilettos to breakfast. The diner has hard tile floors and both heel taps have just worn to the metal nails. I loved the very audible metal nail to tile sound. I of course will replace the heel taps shortly before they wear to an unrepairable state, but really love the metallic sound. I also had my high cut geans on

Here's the shoes.

Have you ever replaced your tips with metal ones? I kind of like the idea of the volume, but I'm not sure I would like the timbre of the sound, and also I'd be worried about skating right across the floor and landing on my butt in places with polished floors, like a supermarket.

On edit: Whoops! It just occurred to me that we've had this conversation before! I seem to be doing that more and more often these days. But maybe you could comment on how a metal tip changes the sound. I assume it's louder, but does it lack the depth and warmth of a softer tip? Something like that.

5 hours ago, bluejay said:

Yesterday, I saw a couple walking from a parking lot to a funeral home. The couple probably late 30's. She was wearing a pair of sling back, peep toe pumps with a 5" stiletto heel. You could see that she was really struggling walking in those heels. Just the facial expressions said that, "I don't know why I wearing these heels". I wanted to tell her if they were my size and I doubt that they were, I would put them on and show her how easy it would be for me to walk in those heels. LOL Yes many of us guys can walk much better in heels than many women. Maybe we have more practice!

Happy Heeling,

bluejay

I guarantee you we have more practice! I never heard of a woman who purposefully goes out and walks in heels just because she likes them. I'm sure such a woman exists, but I've never met one personally. The idea of "recreational" heels is an anathema to 99.9% of women, but ask most of the guys on here, "Hey, do you want to go for an after-dinner walk?" The decision would be, hmmmm, do I wear wedges or stilettos?

How important is the sound that your heels make when you walk? I know there have been discussions about loud vs. soft in the past, some people even going so far as to pump silicone into heels to get them to quiet down, and at the opposite end of the spectrum, I seem to recall that some fellow used to have his heel tips replaced with plastic just for the increased volume, despite the fact that they wear out quickly.

What about the quality of the sound, apart from its volume? Does it have any effect on your enjoyment of wearing heels? In my own case, I do enjoy a nice, pronounced click when I take a step, and elsewhere I mentioned that I also like the flapping sound of a mule along with that click. I seem to own a lot of wooden heeled shoes, and those often make a bigger, deeper sound than your typical stiletto makes. There is one spot near my town's square where there are a number of brick buildings facing each other, and it's solid concrete street/sidewalk in between. When the wind is calm, walking in this area with a pair of loud heels creates quite a racket with all the reverberation. Love it! Maybe it's one of the reasons I'm not crazy about wedges. No noise. It just doesn't seem right.

I have joked about getting rid of shoes because they don't make the right sound, but that has actually happened once or twice. I had a pair of Calvin Klein boots once which were quite noisy. I had them reheeled with rubber heel tips, and it completely ruined the sound of the boots. The heel was almost completely silent, but the forefoot of the boot still made a rackety thudding sound which was completely lost and out-of-place without the noisy heel to accompany it. I don't know how to describe it. They sounded.  .  . stupid. I had some other issues with them, but that was the last straw. I got rid of them.

Thankfully, as I have accumulated high heeled clogs, which often make a very pleasant sound, I haven't had one where reheeling with rubber has completely robbed the shoe of its sonic character. Changed it, yes, but not to the point of no return. I am at this moment, awaiting the completion of a re-heel on a pair of wooden heeled sandals I got not too long ago which have (maybe had) a unique sound to them. We'll see what they sound like when I get them back. Hopefully not stupid.

Please tell your thoughts and stories on the sound of heels.

On 6/25/2019 at 9:48 AM, SF said:

Really love the sandals, they are a slip on toe loop style with a 2, maybe 2 1/2 inch block heel that is very walkable and looks great.  The upper is soft leather that holds my foot securely, no flapping sounds. 

No flapping sounds? That's no good! I've rejected shoes because they don't make that sound. Actually, no, I haven't, just kidding. But it's always a bonus if a shoe sounds nice in addition to looking nice. With a soft soled shoe, I find the flapping sound neutral to annoying, but with heels? There is no happier sound on earth. Flap-click...flap-click...flap-click...!

5 hours ago, hiddenheels said:

--------------

The above outings might show progress, and they are huge progress compared to what I was doing a year ago, or further back. But I am still very much conflicted with this heeling thing, and I am sure these emotions will not go away for a while yet. I am trying to challenge myself, and in the process wear my heels, and so far so good. I am still very uncomfortable showing photos or URLs of the heels, or myself. I love it when others post photos of themselves in coffeeshops, etc, but I am not comfortable with that, for various reasons.

There are several postings that tell more or less the same story. I'm not sure which one I should reply to, so I'm going to pick.  .  . this one. First of all, again, I want to say welcome to the group. I am not sure why you were a part of Jenny's group 20 years ago, but I can say for myself that I didn't wear heels back then, choosing to spend most of my energy trying to get my wife to wear heels. What a waste of time! Things were different back then, both personally and culturally, and it didn't occur to me that I could wear my own heels just like any woman until much later. I made my debut in May of 2012. I wish I could say I've never looked back, but it hasn't been quite that easy. It looks rather like a long term line graph of a stock market, with lots of peaks and valleys, but generally trending upwards.

You said elsewhere something to the effect of life would be a lot easier if you weren't this way. You have no idea how many times I've said this to myself over the years. I've even said that this year at one point. There are some people who evidently have no fear, no conflict, and either have completely supportive spouses or are single. Those are very few. Even though you won't catch me leaving the house in flats nowadays (with the exception of work--construction and heels don't really mix), my wife is not anywhere near 100% behind me on this. She kind of hates it, but tolerates it 99% of the time.

Just so you know, I do not like to take photos of myself either, but occasionally do so because sometimes words are not quite enough. I wish I could tell you that in a year, you will feel nothing but wonderful when you go out in heels. It does get better, but it is not really a light switch event for most people, it is a gradual process. Heck, even light switches are more complicated than they used to be! In closing, eventually you do have to Just Do It, but you don't have to feel like if you're not perfectly comfortable all of the time that's it's a sin. Good luck!

1 hour ago, JeffB said:

I'm curious. Why did "men's heels" in that link equate to ridiculous platform "eff me" heels, none of which I would wear even in private, never mind in public? Where are the more sedate and tasteful shoes that don't look like junk strippers or streetwalkers would parade around in? Perhaps this is just me, but I see that as a cynical stereotype that doesn't help our small heeling community.

I feel like I'm not saying anything new, but perhaps I'm remembering something I never said. It seems I am forgetting stuff I did say a lot more often these days, so I don't see why it couldn't work the other way.

We here at HHP seem to believe that there is a secret, substantial portion of the male population who either wear heels privately or would like to wear heels. It is my contention that this belief is probably correct, but not in the way that most of us would wish. I think that a majority of the secret heel wearers/wishers out there fetish people, not people who wish to incorporate elevated heel footwear into their daily wardrobe as males. I think this because there are quite a number of websites out there selling.  .  . I'll call them rather extreme styles. Some of them I would actually wear out and about, but many of them are not meant to ever touch concrete.

It makes one ask himself, "Why are there so many websites selling extreme shoes in large sizes, and in some cases even labeling them as 'men's shoes' ?" There can be but one answer: Because somebody is buying them. Shoes with 3 inch heels may be mainstream and practical, but they aren't very exciting. There's nothing wrong with having a thing for extreme shoes, but like you say, it's probably not particularly helpful for those of us who are just trying to fit into our families and communities while standing a few inches taller.

I decided to post on here instead of in the "New Shoes" thread because.  .  . well, just because. I'll have to admit, I'm not a huge fan of wedges, especially wedges from my youth (70s and 80s). The wedges I grew up with were huge honking slabs attached to women's feet, and I could never figure out why anybody in their right mind would buy something so ugly. In the last 6-8 years, I've changed my mind somewhat, for a couple of reasons. First, it seems like modern wedges are in general much less clunky than their ancestors, having a much slimmer footprint. Second, as a daily heel wearer, they are just pretty darned practical sometimes compared to something with a really narrow heel. Nevertheless, out of my 60-something pair collection, I have only 5 pairs of wedges. 7 if you count the tennis shoes, which I wore for 3 weeks in Vietnam 3 years ago, and then never again.

Up for consideration are Michael Kors tan colored wedges. They didn't come with a box, so I have no idea what the model name is. Michael Kors doesn't print it right on the inside of the shoe like Nine West and several others do. 4 3/4" heel, 1 1/8" platform, so it's a little less steep than my usual, but certainly not a low heel. The other thing that is unusual (for me) about these shoes is that they are not mules. The same is true with my other recent purchase, some Alaia sandals. I am sort of loathe to buy sandals that are not mules for some reason. I just like them. However, I bought the last two pair of non-mules pretty much solely on the strength of @HappyinHeels's suggestion that I buy some shoes that actually strap on. And so I did. They're all right, I guess. They're not mules, though. It is true that I can zoom around in these things like they were tennis shoes.

1 minute ago, crw321 said:

Thanks for useful comments. I'm actually around London alot so agree with outer areas & mingling in busy areas. I just wondered if there were a specific pub where  i might bump into heeled guys. I'd be keen to me guys who wear 4 inch heel ankle boots. I'm not too daring though!

Haha, good luck with that! Although I have never been to London, I have been publicly heeling for over 7 years, and I have yet to run into another guy wearing substantial heels (over 2").

Other than that, welcome to the site! We are not quite unicorns, but we're close. In all reality, you don't really have to be all that daring to wear heels just about anywhere, certainly not the ones pictured in your initial post. I would think that in London, or any larger Western city for that matter, you will go quite unbothered just about anywhere. Just stand up straight and smile!

To shift gears for just a moment, here's an update on the Alaïa sandals I bought, mentioned last week in the "new shoes" thread. To recap, they are very nice, and pretty much just what I wanted, but a little tight. I have now worn them 3 times, and they're loosening their grip a bit. I think they'll be fine after a few more wearings. On the first wearing, which only lasted about 30 minutes, they were tight to the point that it was difficult to get them on. Upon the second wearing, I applied a good amount of water to the parts of the one strap that is tight (right around the outside toes) and wore them for about 2 hours, plus walked a mile in them. That helped a lot. The third wearing, pictured below, did not involve a lot of walking, but was about 3 hours. They are still snug, but much different than a week ago. I think if I keep on them, they will actually become comfortable.

I would love to reply to this at length, but alas, it is late Sunday night, and 4:30 Monday morning is approaching rapidly. Give me a couple days to reply. Hang in there!

On 6/21/2019 at 9:44 PM, hiddenheels said:

I don't know when this forum opened, but I'm sure I remember being on this forum 20 years ago! Been lurking here ever since, but the immediately environment surrounding heels (specifically mine - as opposed to my wife's) was quite hostile. While I always had some heels hidden, they were kept hidden at home. I did venture outside once in a while, when possible, but it was quite rare. Again, hostile, hidden, etc. Thus there's a lot of baggage associated to my thing with heels. But it never disappeared. 

 

More recently my wife and I have been talking about deep stuff, and the topic of heels came up. She told me she knows I have some at home, encounters them once in a while (which I assumed), and told me that she's now more comfortable with me wearing them, and we can go outside for a short walk if I want. We did this a long time ago, and it is one of the huge strains on our relationship, it had such a negative impact between us, so this was quite a turnaround. We've gone outside one night so far, and she was OK with it. She's however not comfortable with me wearing them at home. At this point, given my ingrained compulsion to keep this hidden from her, I don't mind. 

Longstoryshort, this need for me to wear heels, out and about, has not gone away. In fact it is much stronger now than before. I am also much more relaxed about it, and really don't give a hoot about what *random* people think. So I'm starting to venture out to coffee shops wearing wedge boots. Going for short walks when possible. 

I'm slowly trying to open up with this, shed my ingrained secrecy, and some shame... So slowly, would like to contribute here too. Good folks here, and although you've not noticed me, you've helped me a huge amount! Thanks for that.

Although I've been on here in modern times for a number of years, I was also part of the community from 20 years ago, back when it was Jenny's High Stiletto Heels. I didn't wear heels back then, but I do now. Hopefully, I'm one of those people who helped, even if in a minor way. I started wearing heels in public about 7 years ago, and though it doesn't seem like a big deal now, it sure was back then. I do not have a really supportive wife in that regard, but a tolerant one. That helps a great deal. She won't go everywhere with me in heels, but she will go most places, and now doesn't think about it too much. Good luck to you in the future, I'm sure there will be ups and downs, but eventually the ups will prevail.

As many of you may already know, I have a special place in my heart for thong-style high heels. The trouble is, not only are these one of the hardest styles to find, they are at the same time one of the hardest styles to fit. At one time, I had several pairs of sandals in this style, but for one reason or another, I am now down to two pairs, and neither of them is in a condition to be worn out in public. I am looking for some replacements, but here is the problem: Everything I find in this style is either 1) a kitten heel or low wedge, which I cannot abide--I want at least 4 inches, or 2) a fetish shoe, which is unacceptable for a number of reasons.

I've had some thong heels over the years that were quite nice, but it seems that each had a fatal flaw. I had some Michael Kors stiletto thongs, about 4", which were absolutely gorgeous and comfortable as well. The only problem with them was that the thin leather straps were so buttery soft that they stretched way out within a couple of months, and eventually made the sandals unwearable. I had some Anne Klein block heeled thongs about 3 1/2" high which looked rather nice and fit well, but they had these giant medallions which dug into the tops of my feet after only a short time. That problem never did resolve itself, and plus they were just a little on the low side for my taste, so I ditched them. I had some thong sandals by Reiss, also with block heels that were a bit higher than the Anne Kleins, but unfortunately they were about 1/2 size, if not a full size, too small, and although otherwise perfect in every way, I had way too much toe overhang to ignore. I have it in my notes that if I ever run across a pair of the Reiss sandals in a larger size, snap them up! There were others also which I had to get rid of for one reason or another.

The main problem with fetish shoes, for example from Pleaser or other such brands, is that even if you find models that don't have huge honking platforms, they all seem to be designed with the dreaded toe overhang built right into them on purpose. That seems to be a "thing" in that particular fetish community. Yuck! I won't put up with it! I want sandals I can wear every day, not some fashion-challenged weirdo's fetish. And I'm going to blame that on the guys--I don't really see a woman doing the toe overhang thing because she thinks it looks good.

Pictured below are one of the two remaining pair of thong heels I have left, the BCBGirls Sarong model. This is my second pair. The soles of the first pair split completely in half eventually. The model is so old, that even the unworn pair I managed to find is peeling severely after only a few months (they are not real leather). I need to find something else! By the way, the padding inside the sandals is to address fitment issues, not comfort issues.

On 6/18/2019 at 7:29 AM, pebblesf said:

Well, these boots are right up my alley also, thanks for pointing them out!  I'm not worried about elegance or designer aspects, just that they appeal to me....I wear my stiletto boots quite a bit, the heel tips have already been replaced twice.

If money/convenience were no object, I would probably wear stilettos a lot more. For the same reason you mentioned, I only wear stilettos on special occasions nowadays. I mean, the occasion doesn't have to be that special, but I don't wear them out and about normally simply because I get tired of constantly replacing heels. Even with hard rubber tips, I only get about 6 to 8 miles out of a stiletto tip, compared to 40 or 50 miles out of a heel like the one pictured above.

The color palette I approve of heartily. The cargo shorts? Ehhhh, not so much. As always, feel free to ignore my opinion.

2 hours ago, JeffB said:

It's kinda ironic that I've been less about heels of late. Rare are the times these days when I wear anything higher than three or four inches while I've come to love lower heights and even flats. For me, it's all about the complete outfit, and what I wear doesn't always require or need high heels, the shoes are no longer the be all and end all, just an accessory that finishes an outfit, and that's perfectly fine by me.

I think it is good that everyone has his own different interests, and one's tastes are bound to change over a period of time. I know that your tastes have changed, not only with heel height, but with shoe style as well, and then later getting away from caring about heels so much compared to total outfits.  There are a lot of guys on here who only like to wear boots year round. Can't for the life of me really understand that one, but I get it. I'm sure that many people can't understand why I like to wear mules whenever possible, even in the dead of winter.

The larger point is, it would be nice if we males were afforded a broader range of clothing choices without feeling like the local freak. I think p1ng74 is trying to find a glimmer of hope that things may be changing, and there's no doubt that they are. I still haven't met another guy in heels randomly, but on the other hand, I haven't been mocked in public for a very long time now, and the last time that happened was in the mountains of northern Georgia, so it doesn't hardly count, does it? However, it is difficult to see that our mode of dress will be considered normal in my lifetime. Not in the way that male earrings and heavy tattooing on both sexes have more or less become standard fare.

15 hours ago, p1ng74 said:

While the malefashion sub has 158k subscribers, it is being curated as the enthusiast, avant-garde side of male fashion, which is still the only reason heels have not been thrown out.  It's interesting listening to the controversy and fashion nerds' opinions on the different contexts where they feel heels are appropriate vs not.  Meanwhile, there is still quite a lot of progress to be made before the broader world (at least the way I define it) starts to have even general awareness and thought of the concept of men in heels.  

 

There is a context where heels are not appropriate? Seriously, I don't really have beater heels anymore, I've quit wearing heels in situations where I might really mess up my shoes. I really want to wear very high heels to Disneyland/World someday, which most would consider inappropriate. The problem is, I don't really want to ever visit Disneyland as it exists today, and I certainly don't want to pay their asking price for that "privilege."

I also agree with you that outside the "fashion nerds' " world, there is very little awareness that maybe men could wear heels. In the construction world, I hear a lot of the opposite opinion. Then again, I wouldn't want to see 90% of those guys in heels, either. That would look terrible! Maybe a couple three inches of chunky heeled boot might be ok, but certainly not the sort of thing I wear on a daily basis.

Not really bad advice, if a bit generic. Perhaps I am a bit jaded because I've been immersed in this stuff for so long, but most of it is obvious. However, Tip No. 5 is a bit of a puzzlement, and it's not the first time I've seen it or something similar. Lead with your thighs. What does that even mean? Two sentences later, it says lead with your hips. I challenge anyone to take a normal step without moving their entire leg, and your foot is of course always going to be "leading," by physiological necessity. Furthermore, the only way to keep from bending your knees is to have good ankle flexibility, and in very high heels, perhaps extraordinary ankle flexibility.

I think this advice is not bad, but it's very poorly explained. Perhaps what they mean is that you should walk with core muscles engaged, so that not only are you stepping forward, but you are actually pushing off with the trailing foot through the glutes while extending the leading foot/leg forward in a fluid motion, relaxing the ankle for a moment so as not to bend your knee and look totally goofy in your 5 inch heels, all while tightening the abs, but relaxing the lower spine.

My explanation wasn't any better was it? That's because it's like trying to explain to somebody how to ride a bicycle. It can't really be done. You just have to go do it and figure it out.

18 hours ago, p1ng74 said:

It’s getting kind of warm though - I’ll go casual but you can’t get me out of boots:

Meanwhile, I couldn't help but notice that boots with shorts seemed to be a theme for Raf Simons today:

https://nowfashion.com/raf-simons-menswear-spring-summer-2020-paris-27800

Although I'm not a big fan of shorts with boots, your outfit looks better than any of the sloppiness presented in the Raf Simons link you posted. Them boys don't look bad, they just need to get some clothes that fit them!

8 hours ago, p1ng74 said:

Next pair of boots will definitely be mostly brown.  Will have to wait until Christmas sale though... 

Sounds like that will give new meaning to the phrase "Slower than Christmas."