radiodave

Congrats! Most folks don't really give a hoot, and good for you for getting out there. Welcome aboard!

Very nice gony! Hope you enjoy them!

First, welcome! As far as getting the S/O to accept it... No easy answer there. my ex-wife was cool with it, and I let her in on my interest shortly after we started dating. Fortunately, she didn't think it was really weird, and while she wasn't promoting it, she was fine with me wearing them around the house and admired my confidence in wearing them. We split for unrelated reasons, and we are still good friends, but she was the first to say that whoever I meet should be accepting of it, since the heels are undoubtedly part of who I am. Since you're already married, that's a sticky situation. If she was already turned off by the boots you liked, you might tactfully try to find out what really turns her off about them. If she thinks they just don't look good on guys, that's one thing, but if she's turned off about you because you want to wear them, that's another thing. You can try some low-heeled shoes that are more masculine, and see what her reaction is, but at some point you're either going to have to let the cat out of the bag and take your chances wearing what you want, or stop wearing them and be unhappy. Hiding them from her is a slippery slope at best, because she will find out eventually. The longer you hide them, the more she's going to wonder what else you're hiding when she does find out, and then you're in a bad spot. Yes, I realize that's probably not what you wanted to hear, but it bears saying because many others here will probably make similar points. All I can say is try testing the waters and try to get some idea what her thoughts are about guys wearing heels. There's a good possibility that her initial reaction will be the knee-jerk "Ew!" reaction. Then, she will either be somewhat curious about it, or she'll be totally turned off by it. Maybe show her this site, and matter-of-factly mention that there are guys here (mostly straight and often married) who wear heels. Maybe if you pesent it as "Say, did you know there are some guys who wear heels and their wives think it's cool?", then you can gauge her reaction to that. At some point you will probably have to discuss it and come clean in saying that "Hey, I like to wear heels, I'm not some weirdo because of that, I'd like to wear them, but if you really don't like the idea, then we may have to reach some compromise.". Believe me, some of us here have felt like maybe we were not quite right in the head because we like to wear heels, but we've come to realize that no, they're just shoes, and in this day and age, folks wear pretty much anything and most folks don't have a big malfunction with it. All I can say is if she doesn't accept it, DON'T FORCE IT. It can only end in disaster. Likewise, the more you try to keep it under wraps, the more likely things will not end up well. Hope this helps, and good luck!

If I haven't said it already, many thanks go to Johnie and Ruth for suggesting and coordinating this event. Sounds like we should have a decent turnout, and it will be nice being able place faces to the names we see so often here. Having met Johnie and Ruth already, I look forward to seeing them again, and meeting the others who are willing to make the journey to join up with folks who have a similar passion. Thanks again Johnie and Ruth!

I never had a pair of clogs before, and since Sabotalot mentioned he has several pairs, I saw these in DSW and gave them some thought. I thought they looked kind of cool, and compared to the ones I've been accumulating lately, figured they were a little more discreet. I think these might be my last new shoes for a while though; time to budget more and spend less. They are very comfy though, and I probably wouldn't have any reactions wearing them to work.

http://s7d2.scene7.com/is/image/DSWShoes/176571_001_ss_01?$collections$

Make that Johnieheel Ruthheel Bernheels Airwolf (maybe) Sabotalot Happyfeat Gwl1 Radiodave At least, that's what I've pulled out. If I've missed anyone, or anyone else wants to add to it, just copy it into a new post and add to it.

Thanks JH bakers is a great place to buy heels. I just purchased the "aileen" and strapped them on went to a club last evening. Only great comments were to be heard. Just entering the building the lady checking id's was so into the fact that I was wearing them. She even reached down to raise the pant leg to get a bettr look oh my those are soooo cute where did you get them? Bakers she said I'll be there tom. to get a pair for my self.

Very cool! I like that style too. I have a Baker's near me, and the sales ladies there are cool with me trying heels on in the store. Probably a bad thing that there's a Steve Madden next door to them! Two places I could spend way too much.

I personally don't wear them in winter, except inside in my house. I see women wearing them all the time though. I had a girlfriend who wore them on Valentine's Day, despite there still being snow on the ground. While she looked nice, I still had to scratch my head a little when she bemoaned that she should have worn warmer shoes. I don't have much sympathy for the flip-flop loving teenagers who bemoan how cold their feet are when it's cold out.

I'm looking forward to it too. Other than meeting Johnieheel once, I can't say I've met any other guys wearing heels, so this will be new ground for me. Still haven't decided what shoes I'll bring, but from the descriptions you guys are giving, it sounds like almost anything is fair game. Kinda leaning toward my boots or closed toe pumps, but since peep toes were mentioned, I won't rule those out...

x3 for me. My ex accepted my heel wearing, but we split for other reasons. She was the first to say that whoever I meet should accept it, and I shouldn't be anything but who I am. Heels are certainly part of who I am. Now that may narrow the playing field somewhat, but I figure I'll either be miserable not wearing heels, or we'll both be miserable because she won't tolerate it. If someone significant told me she didn't like my heels, I'd probably say "No problem!" - followed by "Nice knowing you". The way I see it, she would have no more say telling me not to wear heels than telling me I can't drive my MG, or that I have to get rid of my antique radio collection, or stop being a ham radio operator. While any relationship takes some compromise, there's a difference between acceptance, expecting the other person to change, or changing who you are to please the other. The latter two can only end up badly for both. In my case with my ex, we both changed in many ways, but realized while the change was good for us as individuals, we were really different in many ways. I'm with Yozz, I'd love to meet someone who is enthusiastic about my wearing heels, and if she loves to wear heels herself, so much the better. My ex stressed positive thinking though. If you believe you will find that person, you will.

Welcome! Yes, I remember the Wild Pair stores too, and lusting after what they had. FYI, Baker's still carries the Wild Pair brand. At least on their website they do, although I'm pretty sure I've seen them in the store too.

Johnieheel and Jamie bring up very good points. I might even add on that not long ago, women were frowned on for having jobs that men historically had, and now we have plenty of jobs that women do. Firefighters, doctors, police officers, airline pilots, CEOs, you name it. How many women had those jobs 100 years ago? Not many. Then again, how many male nurses or hairdressers do you think there were back then? Heck, I know folks who apply the "gay" label to almost anything unusual or even slightly feminine. According to them, any guy wearing men's flip flops is gay, any guy who shaves his legs is gay, any guy who voluntarily goes to see plays, musicals, or orchestra performances is gay, and even bicycling can be considered gay. Horrors! Guess I'd better not let on that I do all of those things. My guess is they would run in shear terror if they knew what was in my closet.

Sounds like a really great time at BAKERS Dave. Thats just the kind of service I get when I get a chance to go to Bakers. I love that store.

BTW, which one were you at? I have to travel 50 or more miles to get to a Bakers.

I went to the one at Beachwood Place, it's just a little ways from where I live. That and Steve Madden are places I could spend way too much.

Just got back from vacation, and I had a craving for some shoes. I knew Baker's had this pair of ankle strap platform pumps, and I stopped by to see them. I had forgotten they had the peep toes, which I already had plenty of, but when I asked if they had the black ones in a 9, the young lady said they only had an 8.5, as she brought them out. I figured I'd try them, and after donning the foot sox, decided the 8.5 was a little too tight. Thought it odd that she was watching me try them on, but she didn't seem to be making strange faces So, I asked if they had the blue and white ones in a 9. Not sure if those would get worn out, but they looked cool anyway. While she was retrieving those, a pair of hidden platform pumps caught my eye, and I glanced at the price. Hmm... These are on sale for less than the ones I'm looking at. She brought out the blue and white ones, and they fit OK. She still seemed most interested in my trying them on, so I chuckled a little and said "What do you think?". She just smiled, and said "You've got cute toes!". Well, we both got a chuckle out of that. At that point, I noticed there were two boys, probably 8-10 years old, who seemed very interested in all this. They didn't say anything, but I just looked up and said "Hi, how's it going?". I was so close to just going with the blue and white ones, but asked if she didn't mind seeing if she had the hidden platform pumps. Now she and her associate seemed to be enjoying this, and not in a bad way. She brought out the platform pumps (BTW, she had some sporty platforms too... very cool), and they fit me like a glove. I decided to go with the latter instead, although it was a tough call. The two ladies were very helpful, the two boys didn't make a fuss, and the other patrons seemed pretty nonchalant about it. When I got to the counter, one of the boys just asked "What shoes did you get?". So I showed them the box, and there was this look that was either shear astonishment or extreme curiosity. Anyway, the boys didn't seem to be rude about it, so I have to admire them for that. The two ladies seemed to find it interesting as well. Now I have to admit, I think these look darn nice with a pair of jeans.

Cool beans, Johnie! Sounds like she found a good one!

Nice story, and nice shoes! Thanks for sharing.

Welcome! Congrats for wearing them in public; heels that high take some fortitude to wear in public. Hope you enjoy it here!

Welcome aboard! Hope you like it here.

Thanks to all for all the useful information. I appreciate everyone taking the time to share their thoughts and experiences, and I would tend to agree with the "earlier is better" approach. Certainly it wasn't long after I started dating my ex that we talked about things that turned us on, and that's when I let on that I liked heels. Little did I realize that would lead to wearing them and having them be an important part of me. So, guess I'll cross that bridge when the time comes. I'll just keep that positive outlook that someone who likes heels will come along. Of course, I could be direct and if she does wear nice heels, maybe I can ask where she got them and see where that leads....

I'm curious. Now being back in the single position again, I have a dilemma. The ex-wife was a rare find, and we both agreed that the right people come into our lives at the right times. She was cool with me exploring high heels, and she agrees they are part of who I am. Since she wasn't as big into heels, she agrees I ought to find someone who likes heels as much as I do. She's also quick to remind me that if I keep a positive outlook that I'll meet the right person, then that person will come along when the time is right. Now the tricky part. Let's say once I start looking again (not ready yet), how and when does one cross the bridge of "hey, I'm a guy who likes to wear heels"? Granted, I think it's a foregone conclusion that if whoever comes along, she's going to have to accept it, but I'm not sure whether to get that out at the very beginning (like before we've met), or after we've met and established that neither is a psychopathic axe murderer. On the one hand, if you get it out of the way early, then little time is wasted if she's not cool with it, and prospects are looking good after that. The ex-wife thinks I should gauge how she might be with it by asking the right kinds of questions to gauge how open minded she is first, and if she doesn't seem very open minded then the cat's still in the bag and no problem. I have a feeling that being very up-front about it might not work so well, since the ex-wife admitted it took a little getting used to initially. Guess my analogy is like building a campfire; if you get a little fire going and put lots of big logs on too soon, you'll put it out. But if you add little bits at a time, you'll have a good fire. One thing's for sure; if she starts spending some time at my house, there's going to be some 'splaining to do if she looks in the closet too soon! What's everyone's take on the whole thing? I guess reading the polls we've had, it's very mixed as far as how S/Os accept it. I certainly envy the ones whose wives/girlfriends encourage them to wear heels, buy shoes together, and so on. You guys are lucky!

The only "guy" shoes I own are my sneakers, my work shoes, and my dress shoes. I can't really even call my Birkenstock knock offs guy shoes since they came from the ladies section. I'll never understand why two seemingly identical shoes have to have wildly different prices just because one uses different size numbers. Must be that old supply and demand thing.

A nice pair of Bandolino 4.5" stiletto pumps, low vamp, and thick ankle strap that I "impulse" bought yesterday. Have a new look for tonight's outing (think more "rocker"), and these had to come with me. Here's the bartender grabbing a pic of them at the local club I go to as a "test ride" to make sure they were comfortable for 5 hours of dancing!

Very nice! I'm jealous!

FWIW, this morning I turned up wearing my 4 1/2" wedge sandals for some lower toe loop thongs. What I thought was strange was I've worn the thongs plenty of times with nary a second glance. Today however, I walked into Wal-Mart as a guy and his wife walked out. Darned if I didn't hear a stifled "Whoa!" from him as he immediately stared in my direction. His wife asked "What is it?" and as I walked through the doors, I could see by the reflection in the second set of doors that he was most interested in me. I'll admit, I was surprised too, those are among my least likely pairs to cause any reaction. Somehow he didn't appear to be someone who was looking my way because he was excited to see a man in heels, and that he secretly wanted to wear heels himself. Just a hunch. On the other hand, I'm kind of glad I wasn't wearing anything much higher and that he didn't do anything else. He did walk over to the entrance side and watched me the rest of the way in, but hard to tell what his expression was. Could have been worse, I guess. Maybe having cold feet sometimes is a good thing!

Welcome! I'm sure you'll like it here!

Great story! Sounds like good responses all around. Makes you wonder how often that cashier gets guys buying dresses there, but she obviously handled it with no qualms.