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It doesn’t sound to me like anyone said or thought your footwear was inappropriate, only that for reasons of their own they didn’t wear heels themselves. All of them seem to give direct physical reasons why heels didn’t work for them, not that they were somehow inappropriate for the office

Hi all: Allow me to set the situation. Today I was wearing a pair of 3”/3.5cm, dark blue, block heel pumps at the office - a pair of shoes that are very appropriate for a professional setting if one wants to wear heels (see photo). Around noon, I decided that I wanted to stretch my legs and clear my mind prior to having to switch gears from one monstrous case to another monstrous case. I figured that I would step out of the building and possibly walk to the medium sized park across the street. I stepped on to the elevator/lift and as it stopped on the floor below mine, two women stepped into the car. The conversation that followed was very close to the following: Woman #1: “It just started raining.” Woman #2: No or not heard response. Me: Oh man…that stinks! I wanted to go outside and walk around for a bit.” At that point, woman #2 looks down at my feet and says, “How can you wear those? I can’t wear heels." The manner in which the comment was delivered did not seem to be challenging me on my wearing of heels or the pair I was wearing was somehow inappropriate. Moreso, it seemed that she was expressing a general disbelief that any person can walk in heels. Regardless, the comment caught me off guard as, usually, comments given by women are very much along the lines of the fact that they love my heels and if I can wear them, then do so! Not to digress, but I often respond to compliments with a very warmly stated, "It never goes out of style to have style" which often gets a laugh or at least a smile! Me: “Oh, they’re very comfortable. The material is canvas, so there is a lot of stretch to them,” which was/is true. At that point, the doors opened and I held out my hand to signal for them to exit first and as they did so, I wished them both a good afternoon. I stepped outside and it was raining hard enough to prevent me from walking to the park. As I thought about it, I should have responded along the lines of “You should see what I consider to be high heels” or moreso, “Because I can!” Not wanting to create a scene, I responded in a nice and professional capacity. Just for clarity, woman #2 was approximately in her mid to late 40s, about 5’ 6”/167cm, and a proportional frame to her height - not heavy but not thin. She was wearing thong style sandals but not flip flops and jeans - effort level of the outfit, about a 2.5 (on a scale of 1-10). Later in the afternoon when my spreadsheets were giving me headaches, eye strain, and seizures, I decided to ask some of the other females in the office, both of whom told me they “can’t” wear heels, why such was the case. I explained to each the situation, and that I was truly curious and sought an understanding of why some women may be able to wear 5”/12-13cm heels at age 80 and others cannot wear 2”/5cm heels at age 20. I was not at all wanting to be judgmental but was only seeking knowledge. The responses I received were not only enlightening but quite helpful. It seems that foot shape and size are the primary reasons they do not wear heels. One woman explained that she has small but wide feet, as well as a low arch, which makes finding a well fitting pair very difficult while the other indicated that she had narrow feet, especially in the heel area. The latter, who is my colleague, added that if she wore a pair of pumps, her foot would not be wide enough to remain in the shoe, and she would walk right out of them regardless of height. She added that she often wears lace-up shoes or those with a strap across the top of foot so as to keep her foot in place. In a sense of friendship and humor, my colleague stated that she has often seen me wearing heels and wondered how I do it as to her, they look very uncomfortable. It is important to note that only one other person who works in my building on a regular basis (my big boss!) ever puts any effort whatsoever into presenting him/herself in a professional manner. As I have expressed on many past occasions, lounging and/or frump (or both) is often the 'style du jour' throughout the entirety of my office building. Likewise, only once in the two-and-one-half years I have worked in my building have I seen a woman wearing heels (higher than 2”/5cm) and/or a skirt for the day. Thus, the only person who wears heels on a regular basis is me, and there are time where I wear my trainers rather than heels to mix up the look a bit. So, was the question posed to me inappropriate or not? Thoughts? Can't get my photo to upload.... This is an on-line photo of the pumps I was wearing. "Midnight" by Aerosoles.

Gorgeous!

It almost hurts to think about, but at the time I was just an apprentice, and the year did not start with a "2." I learned a lot on that job. Not only about how to be an industrial electrician, but how to get along with people as well. There were people from all over the world on that job.

I can just picture a female Italian engineer touring the site, impeccably dressed and in heels. And probably extremely competent

I had a similar experience about ten years ago when I tracked down my former room mate at college, with whom I’d been very close at one time. After graduation he’d become progressively weirder - a survivalist conspiracy theorist sort and we lost touch. Decades later I wondered what ever became of him and managed to find an email address. I wrote and we exchanged a couple of emails, fairly distant in tone. He had been seriously into rock climbing and not long after I made contact, when Alex Honnold famously free soloed El Capitan I sent him a note, recalling old times rock climbing. His wife responded - in a distant tone. I took the hint and never wrote back. Best forgotten

The reason I don't see so many heels is because I spent the majority of my waking hours at a construction site. Having said that, I can remember back in the day when a building was nearly complete, the owner would give tours to groups of people (I always assumed that they were employees/bosses at the company). Invariably, there would be several women in high heels during tours through a building under construction. I can recall another job site I worked on where the female engineer would show up every week to check things out in 4 inch block heeled boots. That was the Barilla pasta plant, and the engineer was actually from Italy. That may have had something to do with not only her footwear, but her impeccable sense of style, despite being on a construction site. The concrete floors were in by that time. It's not like she was stepping over clods of dirt in heels.

I'm going to hazard a guess that nothing's ever going to come of this strange little interaction. No reply to my last transmission for two days. Just a "like." I've got better things to do.

Just an up date on some heels I purchase. These Red Croc finally came in. Unfortunately, they didn't fit. They were a size 10 because they sold out of size 11 fast. Great looking shoes!!! Wish they fit. So I exchange them for these, in size 11. Hope they fit.

Very intriguing. Did he say where he saw you? How long has it been since you guys "hung out" together? I'm sure the guy feels very uneasy asking you about wearing heels, but sure seems like the interest is there. Can't wait to hear more...

That is a bit weird. I think if it was me,I’d just leave it. It’s always curious to me how people start off by saying something like I’m not being judgmental and proceed to make clear they are being precisely that.

Got a strange message on social media a couple of days ago. It was a friend from high school who asked in a private message, "Hey look--I am in no position to judge anyone, but I was wondering when you decided to wear women's shoes... Are they comfier, because my feet hurt." This really seems a little off to me for an initial contact message. No "Hey, how's it going? It's been years and years!" or anything like that. As I had accepted his contact request maybe a month ago, I can only assume that he picked up on one of the remarklably few photos of me that show my shoes, and none of those really feature the shoes. After I came home from work, I messaged him with some short answers, and he responded to them with similarly short answers. I'm quite sure he was otherwise occupied, because the conversation trailed off rather abruptly. I'm glad I did not invest a whole lot of time into an explanation. We'll see what happens in the days to come.

@Shyheels one of the reasons I see so many high heels is because I have take on a leadership position in my line of work and take part in executive level meetings with the leaders from other sectors.

I wouldn’t say so. I think it’s fair though to mention the comments and reactions we receive. How frequently one encounters heels or tall boots will naturally depend on where you are - in my case, living on a canal, along a scruffy towpath, that will be fairly infrequently. I can’t help that. It has nothing to do with fashion and everything to do with environment. @Cali seems to encounter quite a few heels in his day to day life and mentions this in this thread.

As you will in a smaller community. I know it wasn't your intention when you started this thread, but it seems that we are the people mostly seen out and about.

That’s a nice bit of continuity!

My very first heel purchase,,,,,,,, and I still have them and wear them!!! Steve Madden Kyle patent leather hidden 1" platforms with 5" heel

I was talking to some people at the boatyard this morning and heard that in a conversation the other day I was described as the guy in the green boat who always wears tall boots. I’m getting known …

As a person who wears short shorts with knee high boots and a Hawaiian shirts occasionally in the summer, I see nothing wrong with the look, EXCEPT the height of the boots. But at 70, I could be delusional (but I doubt it).

Using the word "delusional" is a translation from my wife's English to the King's English, but I think it's a pretty accurate one. The only thing that has changed in the last decade is the scope and intensity of her disdain. Before, she believed that every single person was staring at me every minute we were in public, and probably pointing and laughing. Now, she believes that every person who gives me a compliment is merely teasing me. There is, of course, a kernel of truth to both of these. I'm sure that a small percentage of the time, both are true. Let's face it, I'm not for everyone.

I would like to visit Toronto someday. It just hasn't been a priority. I even have relatives there, some of whom I've never met.

I see the Bata Shoe Museum in Toronto is putting in an exhibition in the history and culture if the cowboy boot. https://batashoemuseum.ca/rough-and-ready/

It needn’t have been anything physical, like her fitness level or body shape, nor about her age. It was probably just a look that didn’t suit her. That happens. Maybe it was something that jarred just your personal aesthetic, or perhaps it would have jarred lots of people. The point is, it’s no good projecting that into yourself. There’s no way you can make such comparisons. I certainly don’t think you’re delusional, or if you are then I happen to share the same delusion as I think you look quite presentable in heels, always thoughtfully put together - and I say that as someone whose own personal tastes do not run to sandals or pumps. telling someone they are delusional in terms of their style or appearance and its affect on others is undermining and cruel. And irrelevant as the only opinion that matters in this situation is you. If you like the way you look, or how it makes you feel that’s what matters. And the same with the woman in the boots and shorts. If that look expresses what she feels about herself or wants to say, that’s what matters.

Yes those social norms are strangling - and they serve no useful purpose. Like you, I look pretty good in boots and feel even better because I am expressing myself.

Same here. So many years wasted with self doubt. I guess one benefit of my advancing age is that I am much less affected by "what others might think". For the most part, I think I look great in boots and jeans. "Too little too late" I guess, but that is OK. I punished my young self so severely, such a waste. My life would be complete if I could help at least one guy get over these silly "social norms" that seem to have a strangle hold on us.