I don't know about you guys, but I'm getting tired of posting In the forums. Its the same old, same old! People too scared to wear heels outside, worrying what others think and so on. If I find something interesting, I might post, but not right now. Some people might be upset by my comments, but its just shoes and you have nothing to be ashamed of!
I'm going to concentrate on my blogs. This way I can talk about everything I'm into. Heels are I small part of what I'm in. To be honest, I like high heels, but not sandals, clogs, strappy slingbacks or pumps with a ton of toe cleavage. I like chunky heel pumps and boots with platforms and with a goth influence. I'm sure everybody have their favorite type of shoes.
I'm trying to make my own designs and don't want to follow a crowd too much.
I was walking through the Bay(store in toronto). When you are walking thru the cosmetics department, you're always stopped by someone trying to sell something. All the designer outlets are very close together, its sort of like saks 5th ave. In new york. Anyway, I wanted to check out the new christian dior perfumes and then check out the new swatch watches. But a woman from Estee Louder caught my eye. She said if a spend $36. I get a free gift. So I told her I need a good concealer. She did a whole makeup application. With eyeliner and mascara. Almost every man that walked by gave me a dirty look. But the women seemed to love it. What's wrong with guys? Its my own business what I want to put on my face! If you don't approve, then screw you. The girl loved my look with the flare jeans, heels, and cool hair. She had to wash off the makeup I put on in the morning. She said I did an amazing job putting it on. She said guys should have this kind of fun just like the girls do. She had so much fun working on me and I loved it. We talked about an hour. I told her of my fashion ideas and the type of look I'm going for. She told me I'm high maintenance. Sort of like a Kim Kardasian type. I'll take that as a compliment. I know I'm vain and ego driven, but that's just me. Got to be like that in the fashion world. I made her day. She probably went home and forced her husband to wear makeup. I tod her I'd be back to get pampered again
I like the look of womans pants with heels. There are so many different cuts you can get. I like the lowrise supertight from the hips to the knee with a bit of flare at the hem. And you can get them at any length. What's with the mens pants with no shape. Why would you work out hard and get toned just to hide it all. Womens pants are awesome. I'm going to Express today to buy a pair of slim flares to go with my platform pumps.
Heels will be a different this year. There wil be no platform and thee heels will be between 6-7". That sure sounds crazy. But I know a lot of people from this site seem to hate platforms. I like a bit of platform. From 3/4" - 1". It just gives me more cushion for the ball of the foot. But the new heels are just too high for me. Most of my heels are 4.5" with 3/4" of plat. Btw, I measure the heels from the back. Hopefully, the plats will appear next year.
I'm probably going to start confusing you guys. But you are my friends, so I can tell you anything! I saw a shrink that specializes in gender issues. Anyway, I went through a ton of tests, and found out that I have gender disphoria. So in fact I don't have to live my life as a woman. But she told me I could have a mix of the two, if I like. So the girls clothes and the heels will stay the same. As well as the long hair and make-up. It it a relief that I don't have to change my whole life! So I'm dropping the Clarissa from my posts. Ill be going with my middle name, Ashley. I don't know why my parents named me ashley. They must have known somthing. They said it was a guys name a long time ago, before it was a girls name. They are happy that I like it.
Other than that, its fashion business as usual.
What kind of person buys high fashion items? Is it someone rich enough to not feel guilty about spending so much money, or just a regular person who saved for weeks to get that pair of boots.
I think if you can somewhat afford and want the item badly enough. Designer things are more than just breaking the bank. Designers have a vision on how things are going to look. We have to embrace the designer by taking pride in wearing their stuff. Louboutin and YSL are my favorite shoe designers, but fluevog is a designer that I can spend money on and feel good about it! I've got 10 pairs of boots and shoes. Just love the look. John Fluevog has made shoes for us to make us feel:
Designers want us to feel good abour wearing the shoes as much as they enjoy making them. Sometimes the high prices are justified!
I've never worn louboutins before, their heels are a little too high for me, maybe ill try on a pair soon.
I went shopping downtown today. I went to the bay on queen street in toronto. This place in the mecca of fashion. Sort of like saks fifth ave. in NYC.
Anyway, each floor has something different. Floor one has jewellery, makeup,watches, and purses. Floor 2 has shoes for men and women, not in the same section. It aslo has a suit shop for men. And floor 3 has all ladies fashions. It also has an expensive designer section called THE ROOM. That's where all the expensive is where we drool over! Ex- louboutin and YSL tributes.
I wanted to go to THE ROOM for a lond while and thought I would go there today! I'm feeling quite confident with my new feminine look. Long blonde hair(no wig, my own beautiful hair) ultra slim body, and a ton of make-up on! But done tastefully. No smoky eyes like avril laviene. Today I wore my fiited coat, tight long flare jeans(guido and mary ashley bellbottoms) and my fluevog platform heel boots. With large sunglasses. I look stunning.
Moving along now, I thought THE ROOM was on the 2nd floor, so I got off there, I ended up in the mens suit shop. I got so many dirty looks. Its like, what's this girl doing in the mens section. So went up to the next floor. THE ROOM is in its own little(not that little)section on this floor. I was greeted very politely and wasn't addressed as miss or mr. Cool! If I was addressed as miss I would love it! They showed me all the new shoes and boots that are in now. The louboutins are stunning. All be back with a wad of cash. I have to go back anyway, I forgot to ask if they had YSL tribute boots. Its my dream to own a pair.
I didn't reasize I could look this glamourous with just some makeup, beautiful hair and trendy womens clothes. I don't need any hormones or surgery, this is good enough for me. People can see who I really am inside!
The worst part is that I am still a male somewhat on the outside, and to be discriminated against in the mens store for the way I portray myself. People have no class. I am just being myself, what god wants me to be. If I have feel justified to shop in the womens store, no problem. I don't like mens clothes anyway, never have.
You can't get kicked out of a store, but they can kick me out of the mens store any day, I know where I'm welcome.
Why are things so limited to men. In pants all they got are regular fit and slim. No waist smaller than 28". And no tall inseams. No good for wearing 5" heels. Ill concentrate on the pants this blog, mens shoes are a whole new ball of wax!
On the contrary, women have pants in, skinny, slim, bootcut, flare, wide leg, long leg, regular, short, capri. Not fair that they got it all.
I got no choice but to shop at womens stores(other than I like to). My waist is a 25-26" and I need an insem of 34-35. In womens sizes, I am a size 1-3. If I'm almost too small for womens sizes, no way I can fit into mens sizes!
Come on designers! Give guys more choices, and watch your profit go sky-high! And make it affordable. Not everybody has a budget for rick owens or rad hourani. I've got good ideas for fashoin, but its less of a hassle to just shop at a womens store, than to get clothes made to measure.
Next blog ill talk about shoes!
I go crazy for the bath bombs at LUSH. Spacegirl is my favorite! It has a nice smell and turns the bath water deep purple. And has some glitter on it that will scatter when water hits it. What girl doesn't like glitter?
You don't need any acceptance from. Anyone else. It could be just fashion, or a gender issue. I believe god made a mistake and made me a man instead a woman. I love heels and all clothes that women wear. Its not some kind of fetish, it just makes me feel whole when I look like a girl. I have to be honest to myself and live my life the way a think I should.
You should accept yourself not how someone else percieves you.