Motivation Slump

[mskim61]

I would be the first to admit that heels, stockings and even corsets and skirts are a part of me. My SO knows that and even acknowledges many of the outfits I put together. Unfortunately the interest stops there. We have common issues in other areas, but certainly not in the shoe/fashion category. I would assume that this could be an issue with other members of this forum; so how do you deal withit?

[Histiletto]

Hi mskim61, It is very good your relationship has been open enough that you have at least communicated your feelings to CD and your still together, so there is something of a bond between you and SO. Since SO doesn't seem to be as enthused about this particular activity, you have to re-evaluate your commitment with them. If they are of great importance to you, and they feel the same about you, then you must relay to them how much CD-ing means to you, and re-enforce your feelings for your SO also. Tell them your vision and goals of how they fit into your life's ambitions and then explain your need to CD and how you see it fitting. Ask them, "How do they perceive their place with you, generally and then while you're CD-ing?" Anything you feel the need to say or do to make this relationship a rewarding environment for both of you, must be discussed and agreed upon. If you can honestly live with the compromises, so much the better. You can always redefine your agreement later, if you both understand the importance of the others feelings and concerns. If you can't agree, one of the alternatives is in the next paragraph. If your not committed to your SO, and you can't see any point in the relationship, try to part as friends and responsibly discontinue your affair and find other environments and accommodations, as soon as possible. Life is too short to be somewhere your not growing with the care and respect of others. Good Luck to the both of you!

[johnieheel]

I agree with Histiletto. Sit down and have a heart to heart. My wife an I agreed from the beginning that if one of us does not agree on something then we don't try it or if we do agree to try it and then one disagrees than we don't do it again. I was up front from the beginning and at first it was a shock to her about my passion for heels. Now she has developed a passion for heels and now I'm broke. lol Just be sinsear and honest and good luck.

[Dr. Shoe]

I don't actually think there's any need. Assuming that she lets you indulge your pastime whenever you need to why get heavy over it? To sit down and have a heart to heart will just make it a bigger issue than it already is. IMO it's the height of selfishness to even ask her to become involved too. Ruth and I have never really "discussed" my transvestism, it's there, I do it, I don't involve her unless she wants to be involved and that's it! She's quite happy to let me go off and do my thing and sometimes she will come with me but she won't wear heels or corsets which is fine by me.

[BobHH]

I agree with Dr. Shoe. The BW was encouraging about my wearing high heels, but did not wear them much more, herself, though she used to like them (had a bad fall). My last girl friend thought they were sexy on me and was happy if I wanted to wear them in or out, but didn't wear very high heels, herself (and she is only 5 ft. tall!). And a sometime girl friend was quite understanding and encouraging me to go out and about, though we did only on Halloween. As long as they are tolerant or even encouraging about you in heels, that is enough for me.

[loveheel]

I agree with the previous two postings. My wife is aware of my heal wearing and is OK with it. She herself does not wear serious heels and has no interest in going shopping for heels with me, even though I would very much enjoy that. But we can not impose our lifestyle on others and should praise ourselves lucky to have accepting spouses. The only time my wife gets upset is when I hide things from her. So in the past I would hide purchases from her because I was afraid of how it wold make her feel. I now realize that it is better just to tell her and not make a big deal about it.

[lorriette]

be pleased with what you have. You may find she'll become more involved of her own accord, or even, distance herself from your activity. Start pushing, and I'm sure your relationship will suffer. I think others have had the same thing happen, and their stories are somewhere on this forum.