The Male Point of View

[JeffB]

In all the time I've been wearing high heels at the office, going on two years now, I've received a boatload of compliments from my female co-workers about my shoes, yet none of the few men in our facility have ever said anything to me, one way or the other. That changed the other day. One of my male co-workers whom a rap daily with about sports asked me in an ungaurded moment while we were discussing the recent Eagles win over Dallas why I wear women's shoes. Seems he's been curious about that for months but couldn't get up the nerve to ask. Well, I gave him my standard response to his question: that I like wearing high heels. At the time, I was wearing my 3 1/2 inch Vaneli black patent pumps, he stared down at the shoes and asked next if I worry about people making fun of me or looking at me strangely. I replied that I don't worry about how people respond to me, that it's my choice to wear what I want, and that I enjoy what I wear, regardless of what society may think. Then it was my turn to ask a question, namely: "Do you think differently of me because I choose to wear women's shoes?" He had to think on that for several moments, then said not really, but I could tell he was somewhat nonplussed by it all. I told him that my personality, or my work habits haven't changed, I'm still the same person you've known for three years, and that the only thing that's changed is what I wear on my feet. My co-worker then said that as long as I was happy with what I do, then it was no business of his to complain, especially since no one else has, and EVERYONE has seen me in pumps. He then marvelled at how I could walk in my heels and joked that he'd break his neck in nothing flat if he tried that. At that moment, it seems that he had become somewhat comfortable with me after we had talked. The bottom line, he still respects me for who I am, and that's a good thing. He may still think it's unusual to see a man in high heels, but at least he understands why I wear them.

[Arctic]

I think it's quite typical for men to be curious about why people do this, but they don't have the guts to come and ask. Nobody of my friends has asked anything about it, but then I keep it quite decent with them (3 1/2" blocks usually). Once one of them asked "What are YOU wearing" to which I replied "what does it look like?". And that was it. Bert

[stellah]

Then it was my turn to ask a question, namely: "Do you think differently of me because I choose to wear women's shoes?" He had to think on that for several moments, then said not really, but I could tell he was somewhat nonplussed by it all.

People who are "uneducated" in sense that they aren't aware of human fetishes or desires tend to think that inly they are normal people and the ones who have some kind of deviation are weirdos...

Consider women - noone would think of them strangely if they pick up any new style - to be hairy, wear mustache or have really short hair.

But with us men - we are supposed to be rather conservative of our appearence - right? Men are supposed to be just good-looking, and that's it! And that the only accessories men may wear are wedding-rings and a tiepin?

[Bubba136]

This post is a mistake

[Bubba136]

JeffB wrote: "The bottom line, he still respects me for who I am, and that's a good thing. He may still think it's unusual to see a man in high heels, but at least he understands why I wear them." The usual definition of "respect" is: "to show deferential regard for; esteem." Another definition is: "to avoid violation of or interference with." Not being personally aware of the type of relationship that Jeff has with this co-worker, it's difficult to tell which definition applies. In either instance it's a good thing. However, I would lean toward believing that the co-worker would chose not to make a "big deal" out of it since Jeff has been wearing heels around them for so long. As to understanding why Jeff wears heels, he might well understand. However, he might just accept Jeff's explanation and let it rest without completely understanding. At least the conversation has opened up the subject for discussion and further contemplation. We all admire Jeff because he has the courage to sail uncharted waters and for his willingness to endure the perhaps less than flattering image that some of the people might hold of him, as a result of his "non-conformance with generally accepted social customs."

[JeffB]

The usual definition of "respect" is: "to show deferential regard for; esteem." Another definition is: "to avoid violation of or interference with." Well, in the case of the male co-worker, without asking (and perhaps I should have), I think he's chosen the later definition. He knows I'm a good, reliable worker with a friendly personality, and he enjoys my company, as does everyone else in the office, so I don't think the shoes are too much of an issue for him. After having talked to him, I believe he understands that this is something I like to do, something I enjoy, even if it is a tad beyond the norm. But then, a lot of things qualify for that these days. I appreciate Bubba's kind words, I had no idea people here admired me for what I do, after all, I'm just wearing shoes! :-D