New to high heels

[magowan_nt1]

I have always loved high heels but have never been able to wear them in front of my wife. She knows that I have a real fetish for heels but that is far as it goes. I would love to wear a pair of heels in front of her but have no idea how she would react to it. She is not a great lover of heels herself but has just bought herself a pair of 4 and a half inch wedges form River Island (uk) and she says that she really likes them! I was delighted of course. How do I tell her that I would love to wear heels too, mayby not in public but with her at home? Any advice on this one?

[chris100575]

Unfortunately the best way to tell her this is at the beginning before things get too serious, and definitely before you get married. That not being an option in your case, I would suggest honestly and calmly. Sit her down and talk to her, answer any of her questions and reassure her if she has any concerns. The most commonly recurring ones seem to "are you gay?" "are you a transvestite" and the oft-unspoken "what else has he been hiding?" If she's an open minded and reasonable person you should be able to discuss this with her rationally. Unfortunately, no two people are the same and there's no easy way to bring this one up. Your wife's acceptance may also depend on whether you want to wear heels as part of a fetish activity, or simply because you like wearing them. In my case I told my ex wife when we'd had a bit of a rough patch and were having a heart to heart anyway. She didn't like the idea of me in heels because she said it made it hard for her to see me as masculine. We managed to reach a workable compromise whereby I could wear heels at home but not in front of her. We split up about a year later for unrelated reasons, although on my part her failure to accept a part of me, and the fact that I felt like I couldn't be myself was a contributory factor. I told my current GF when we first met, and she actually likes me in heels. Good luck, let us know how you get on. Do bear in mind however that the worst case scenario is that you may have to decide between her and the heels. Chris

[magowan_nt1]

Unfortunately the best way to tell her this is at the beginning before things get too serious, and definitely before you get married.

That not being an option in your case, I would suggest honestly and calmly. Sit her down and talk to her, answer any of her questions and reassure her if she has any concerns. The most commonly recurring ones seem to "are you gay?" "are you a transvestite" and the oft-unspoken "what else has he been hiding?" If she's an open minded and reasonable person you should be able to discuss this with her rationally. Unfortunately, no two people are the same and there's no easy way to bring this one up. Your wife's acceptance may also depend on whether you want to wear heels as part of a fetish activity, or simply because you like wearing them.

In my case I told my ex wife when we'd had a bit of a rough patch and were having a heart to heart anyway. She didn't like the idea of me in heels because she said it made it hard for her to see me as masculine. We managed to reach a workable compromise whereby I could wear heels at home but not in front of her. We split up about a year later for unrelated reasons, although on my part her failure to accept a part of me, and the fact that I felt like I couldn't be myself was a contributary factor.

I told my current GF when we first met, and she actually likes me in heels. Good luck, let us know how you get on. Do bear in mind however that the worst case scenario is that you may have to decide between her and the heels.

Chris

Thanks for that advice Chris. I dont think that I want to make a choice between my wife and the heels as I love her too much. Seems like I will have to chicken out from telling her at least for the time being. Its good to know that there are a lot of other guys out there just like me. Anyway I`ll just have to wait for the right moment if that ever comes!

I`ve worn heels out in public, 5 inch wedges that I only wear when my wife is away, and late at night when there is not too many about. I like wearing heels and hope that I can pluck up the courage to wear them out during the day.

[chris100575]

Just to add to this potential minefield, if you have any heels of your own and your wife happens to find them before you tell her, she'll draw her own conclusions which may not be correct. Chris

[thedesigner]

like i've said answering a similar question, try some gents cowboy boots and see the reaction, saying i like the look etc, and see the reaction... if it's favourable say you like being a bit taller. Then leave it for a while; you could say when she wears her heels it makes me look short, and (joke) i'll have to wear heels to catch up (it worked for me v favourably as soulmate is almost same height).....

[Guy N. Heels]

I have always loved high heels but have never been able to wear them in front of my wife. She knows that I have a real fetish for heels but that is far as it goes. I would love to wear a pair of heels in front of her but have no idea how she would react to it. She is not a great lover of heels herself but has just bought herself a pair of 4 and a half inch wedges form River Island (uk) and she says that she really likes them! I was delighted of course. How do I tell her that I would love to wear heels too, mayby not in public but with her at home? Any advice on this one?

Hi there Magowan_nt1, and welcome to the forum.

Now, is there some reason why you can't just ask her what she thinks about men wearing heels? My late GF and I didn't always agree upon everything, but our ability to discuss matters openly was so refreshing. Over time we found that there was nothing we couldn't discuss, even if we disagreed about the matter.

[Dr. Shoe]

The answer you get to the question may not reflect what she would think of you wearing heels. For example she might say it's cool but hate the idea of you wearing them or she might say it looks terrible but not mind you doing it.

There is no simple answer because the situation is different every time but if you should happen to see a picture of a guy in heels it would be a good opener for a discussion.

[Rob]

You are the best judge of how she will take it when you tell her. It's certainly best to be open and honest about everything in a relationship, and right now you're not. But when you tell her, she will probably be most disappointed that you have been keeping a secret from her for all this time. I think however you tell her, it will be difficult for both of you, but it would be much worse if she found out without you telling her. Now a selfish angle to this: If you have been patiently waiting (rather than nagging her) to get in to heels, and she is just coming around to the idea, then now may not be the best time to tell her. She might assume that her wearing heels more has something to do with your announcement of wanting to wear heels, and rebel by stop wearing them. Unfortunately I can't offer any real advice, other than to repeat that secrets are a bad thing in a relationship.

[thedesigner]

further to my last posting, i asked soulmate again if se was okay about my heels, shereplied she loves them , she likes me wearing them and likes taking pics of me wearing them (2nite denim 4" ankle boots). I've asked her to choose heels for me nex time we go shopping and she agreed as she knows my taste...

[shyguy]

Good result for you, TD Let us know how you get on and better yet what your soulmate chooses for you.