Help my wife with these great shoes

[WobbleFan]

Hi All,

The first thing my wife said when she opened the box was: "Wow, if I can walk in them, I'll wear them!"

She tried them on twice in 6 months since and never even tried to walk a single step in them. They look absolutely increadible on her! Does anyone have a constructive idea how I can help my wife with these shoes?

I know, this has probably been asked a zillion times already, but to make it up, here's two shots of the shoes.

WobbleFan

[hoverfly]

Practice, practice, practice.........that's all. Maybe starting with a lower heel and work her way up would be the best way of going at it. She needs to under stand that she need to stretch the mussels and tendons, treat it as an exercise regiment. Work your self into it a little bit at a time. Nice shoes by the way.

[new_look]

i like the style, where did you get these from??

[chris100575]

Firstly, she needs to want to walk in them. If she's not used to heels she's not going to be able to just walk in them from day one, she's going to have to work on it. Best bet is for her to wear them around the house while she's getting used to them, even if at first she's just standing in them rather than actually walking. That way if they start to hurt or if she's had enough she can just take them off. But as Hoverfly said, it all boils down to practise! Chris

[WobbleFan]

i like the style, where did you get these from??

I bought them from Fuss in Germany. The article number is Pumps - 1919-2386 - nero-A

Their web site is http://www.fuss-schuhe.de/high-heels-shop.html

[sendra45]

Okay, Ask yourself this, does she look incredible in them or do they look incredible on her? I think this could be the key to her wearing them. Do you want her to wear them or the shoes to be worn? If the shoes need to be worn, get a pair in your size, if she looks fantastic in them, tell her that it is all about her. Nigel.

[e]

Wine; wine and some more wine...

[vector]

It might be the wrong thread, but it reminds me of the old joke... How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb? One. But the light bulb has to want to change! First does she want to? Maybe telling her how sexy she would look. Does she like attention? If so, talk about how all eyes would be on her. Good luck! But remember, she has to want it!!!

[WobbleFan]

Okay,

Ask yourself this, does she look incredible in them or do they look incredible on her?

I think this could be the key to her wearing them.

Do you want her to wear them or the shoes to be worn?

If the shoes need to be worn, get a pair in your size, if she looks fantastic in them, tell her that it is all about her.

Nigel.

Allright, point taken. Let me refrase your honour :-)

I'd really like my wife to wear high heels, because I think she looks terrific in them. Besides, I think all women should consider wearing high heels more often. The world would be much more beautifull.

Allthough I have told her she looks great in them, I may have not made myself completely clear. The funny thing is, though, with lingerie, there's no discussion. But then again if she wears that, no-one will see and she won't be sticking out of the crowd.

So, has anyone had the same experience with their wife, or can one of the gals comment on this?

Thanks,

WobbleFan

[sendra45]

that is the reason for posting, I have a wife. there she is sat on a wall in her 6 inchers in the monlight (to the left of this post). Okay, forget about what you want for a day or two and think about what she wants, is it the same? I doubt it, but if you could give her what she wanted and get what you wanted at the same time, that would be a great deal. you are the only one, apart from your other half, who can work this out for yourself. talk about it, not to us, we can only offer support or suggestions, the only way you will get close to what you want is by talking. go on, open a bottle, open up

[WobbleFan]

Willdo. I'll keep you posted if something happens. Thanks for now.

[taliheels]

those stilettoes are fab(no wonder you're excited) - i think you should try to make her walk in them on short trips or at home first -do it gradually

[Dawn HH]

Give her a chance to work up to them. This takes time and practice to master a heel like that. I like the look of them. How high are they? Does she wear heels at any time? Inquiring readers would like to know. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Guy N. Heels]

...Okay, forget about what you want for a day or two and think about what she wants, is it the same? I doubt it, but if you could give her what she wanted and get what you wanted at the same time, that would be a great deal...

Excellent point, Nigel! It's called "the go-giver principle". The easiest way to get what you want is to first give the other person what they want! Now here's where it gets tricky because not everyone wants the same things. So if we assume that your wife has no physical limitations that would prevent her from wearing the shoes, your first order of business is to find out what it is SHE wants and make it point to give it to her. And I don't mean bargain, I mean GIVE! Usually, when she is well-pleased her natural reaction will be to please you.

My former girlfriend had quite a few physical issues that prevented her from wearing heels in public. But because I did my best to keep her pleased, she made it a point to wear heels for me at home.

[shrimper]

Allright, point taken. Let me refrase your honour :-)

I'd really like my wife to wear high heels, because I think she looks terrific in them. Besides, I think all women should consider wearing high heels more often. The world would be much more beautifull.

Allthough I have told her she looks great in them, I may have not made myself completely clear. The funny thing is, though, with lingerie, there's no discussion. But then again if she wears that, no-one will see and she won't be sticking out of the crowd.

So, has anyone had the same experience with their wife, or can one of the gals comment on this?

Thanks,

WobbleFan

How about you make a date with her and play it up really big. Make sure it is some place where others will be dressed up like the opera or symphony. I'll bet she will wear them then.

[BoyLegs]

If she'll wear lingerie where no one else is looking, will she wear heels where no one else is looking? What do other women who live around you wear? A lot of women try to fit in. If she sees other women going to church in the good flip-flops, it may be very hard for her to go out in public in shoes like that, gorgeous though they are.

[WobbleFan]

If she'll wear lingerie where no one else is looking, will she wear heels where no one else is looking?

No, that's not how I meant it. She wears designer lingerie on an almost daily basis. What I meant to say is: no-one will notice the lingerie because it's covered by her clothes.

Even when we're in the privacy of our home, she still doesn't feel like wearing high heeled shoes.

What do other women who live around you wear? A lot of women try to fit in. If she sees other women going to church in the good flip-flops, it may be very hard for her to go out in public in shoes like that, gorgeous though they are.

Well, that might be part of the issue. This part of Holland isn't famous for the taste women around here display when it comes to the choice of footwear. I've been to London on a business trip recently and during that one day I've seen more women in high heels then I normally do in a year at home. Just to illustrate the point here.

[WobbleFan]

<<SNIP>>So if we assume that your wife has no physical limitations that would prevent her from wearing the shoes, your first order of business is to find out what it is SHE wants and make it point to give it to her. And I don't mean bargain, I mean GIVE! Usually, when she is well-pleased her natural reaction will be to please you.

Well, she has a thing for me sporting a two-day beard... :-) The thing is, and maybe that's the major issue here, she doesn't really care for stuff like that. But maybe I'm not quite getting your meaning here. Do you mean: going out for a great dinner, al dressed up nicely and so forth? Not to brag, but we do go out for good dinners regularly, and I do mean good, sometimes even Michelin star restaurants. And she'll dress up nice, but wouldn't even consider wearing these shoes. But then again, it might be the height.

Pfew, it keeps coming to the fact that I need to discuss this with her. Strange as it might be, I find it hard to bring up the subject. Although we're completely at ease in our marriage, on this subject, I still fear rejection.

[My former girlfriend had quite a few physical issues that prevented her from wearing heels in public. But because I did my best to keep her pleased, she made it a point to wear heels for me at home.

OK, point taken. We need more wine, tonight! I think

[WobbleFan]

Give her a chance to work up to them. This takes time and practice to master a heel like that.

I agree. The problem however is that I can't find a way to motivate her to practice.

I like the look of them. How high are they?

I agree. They're absolutely fabulous. The outer sole is man made, but the rest is a high quality leather. They fit her perfectly and shoe looks absolutely stunning in them. Untill she gets up that is. At the moment, I don't think she'd be able to walk the length of the living room without help in them.

Anyway, they're 12cm high, wich would be close to 5 inches. That's high by any standard.

Does she wear heels at any time? Inquiring readers would like to know.

She does wear shoes and boots with a three inch heel, but the heels are much wider then these.

[WobbleFan]

Well, we finally discussed this matter. It turns out she's not digging the heels thing at all. The rare occasions she does wear heels in the house, it's just to indulge me. She just can't see the point of it. To her, it's just uncomfortable and makes her feel uncomfortable too. No spectacular high heels for my wife then. It doesn't mean she won't wear heels at all, but she limits them to 8 cm max (little over 3 inches) and stilletos are out of the question. This subject is now closed between us. Too bad, but such is life. I'm still married to this wonderful woman.

[RPMindy]

oh my!!

i've talked this subject to death on other forums and have learned to accept that my lady is going to take some getting used to heels.

here is the short of it.

when we first met.. she couldn't be bothered with anything 3+ inch. she always had flats or sneakers on.. and any heel she did.. almost always had a platform to reduce the foot angle.

we've been together a great 4 years. with lots of patience.. lots of talking.. i've found out enough to introduce her to ever taller heels. she can do 4.5 icnh fine.. even 4.75 inch stiletoe if the quality is right.. though i am convinced she can do 5 + inch.. currently.. she won't.

for her... she's got strict views on what she can and cannot do.. what looks good on her and what doesn't. it's a mind over matter thing for her. if she thinks it's going to be uncomfy.. there is nothing i can say to convince her otherwise.. and she won't do it. when she finally feels it's not going to be uncomfy.. she'll try it.

my biggest key to getting her into heels (if such is possible as phrased).. being patience and going out of my way to research the absolute most comfy shoes to try. at a nice cost to me.. i've done that. and she now prefers to wear the heels I bought over the few she bought.. in part because she finds mines that much more comfy (i am a super picky shoe shopper for her to ensure comfort)

with experience in comfy heels slightly taller than what she felt was normal (even going up in increments less than a quarter inch at times).. and creating opportunities for her to try them that involved little walking about but glam enough for her to want to dress up.. she's gotten a hang of higher heels.

it is my thoughts (based on many conversations with her) that as her comfort level (not just in the heels.. but in the environment in which she wears them.. and the lifestyle that gives reason to wear them) increases.. i will soon get to see her in 5 inchers.. and she says she thinks it's even possible to do 5.5 inch.. but only if i can get her comfy 5.5 inchers at the time she's comfy with the idea.

i share this only to shed a ray of hope. as you continue to live with this beauty of a wife you have.. you never know.. youll find something that just clicks right.. and she'll be happier endulging you a bit more than now.. and who knows... in time.. she may surprise you. don't hold your breath however.. just enjoy it when it comes.

it can be very frustrating.. but if she picks that up in you (and she will.. she's your wife). it makes it less likely she'll try again. the mind is a beautiful thing.. and a challenging thing that can impose more limitations than actual physical limitations!!!

RPM

p.s. my finace was and kinda still is a tomboy.. so.. if a tomboy can change enough to have 4.5 inchers on... there is hope (no.. she doesn't wear heels often.. but she does more than when we first met.. you can see some of her pics on my site.. check my profile if interested)

[Steve B]

I've said it before and it bears repeating here: You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink. I sometimes wonder how many times this scenario has occurred: a guy lets it be known to his g/f or s/o that he would love to see her wear heels, with little success. He keeps at it, then finally the g/f comes back with, "If you like them so much, why don't YOU wear them?"

[BobHH]

Sounds familiar!

[Guy N. Heels]

I've said it before and it bears repeating here:

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

I sometimes wonder how many times this scenario has occurred: a guy lets it be known to his g/f or s/o that he would love to see her wear heels, with little success. He keeps at it, then finally the g/f comes back with, "If you like them so much, why don't YOU wear them?"

Unless a woman has some medical reason for not wearing heels, most will usually try to please their man - at least to a certain extent. But if she balks then the only other thing that might work will be competition. That is to say, most women dress-up for other women. So to point out that someone (especially one she considers a rival) is wearing heels MIGHT work. Maybe.? But if it doesn't, best to back-off and save the relationship.

[vector]

Hey guy, I hear ya, but I think you should back off and leave things where they are. In your mind, you may be saying, "...she never wore heels, and could wear a higher heel...". In her mind, she might be saying, "...I never wore heels, now I wear 5 inch high heels and he continually pushes for higher heels. Is it about the shoes or me?" Hey, she came a long way. Enjoy it (and her company) for what she's done solely for you.

[shrimper]

I've said it before and it bears repeating here:

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

I sometimes wonder how many times this scenario has occurred: a guy lets it be known to his g/f or s/o that he would love to see her wear heels, with little success. He keeps at it, then finally the g/f comes back with, "If you like them so much, why don't YOU wear them?"

Funny thing Steve, my wife used those exact words. And I did. And to both our surprise, she liked me in them. Now occasionally she will ask me to wear for her. (She still doesn't wear heels).

[hoverfly]

I've said it before and it bears repeating here:

You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.

I sometimes wonder how many times this scenario has occurred: a guy lets it be known to his g/f or s/o that he would love to see her wear heels, with little success. He keeps at it, then finally the g/f comes back with, "If you like them so much, why don't YOU wear them?"

My ex said that one time and I bet she regretted it!!!

[sscotty727]

Funny thing. My wife and I were talking about this weekend how before we met she used to wear mini skirts and high heels ALL the time. Now I have to beg to get her to wear even chunky heels.

[hoverfly]

Funny thing. My wife and I were talking about this weekend how before we met she used to wear mini skirts and high heels ALL the time. Now I have to beg to get her to wear even chunky heels.

Yeah it's called attracting a mate, after that it's all down hill.......Boooooo!!

[Guy N. Heels]

Unfortunate, but all too true; after marriage so many quit doing the things that attracted their mates in the first place. Somewhere they seem to forget that the marriage is to be LIVED together.