since-i-can-rem Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Hey guys, last Friday I picked up my Girlfriend with my car after work, We liked to do some "non cloth" shopping. As I looked down to her feet i was shocked. I love my GF but I never seen such ugly shoes on her feet. They look like this: http://cgi.ebay.de/Lagerraeumung-eleganter-Damenschuh-top-Aktuell-38-rosa_W0QQitemZ200010412673QQihZ010QQcategoryZ40629QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem I hate this colour and she knows it, And i hate this mokassin style too. As I`ve seen this terrible shoes i felt like i was shot down. It felt like I lost something I really love. How can she do this to me...... In the past she bought a pair of shoes like that: http://cgi.ebay.de/Edle-Sabots-Mules-Mokassin-aus-LEDER-Pink-Rosa-Gr-40_W0QQitemZ220012191017QQihZ012QQcategoryZ51562QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem I told her, that I do not like them and she can wear them when I´m not arround. When I go back in time, her shoe style have changed a lot. When we first met, she always wears nice shoes or boots with heels. Not very high, but they looked good. I buyed her a lots of pairs in Ebay and she wears most of them After I told her, that I´m a Heel addict there was a change. She wored more and more flat shoes, shoes that make her look childish... Sometimes I think: OK let her wear her style and I have my own heels. But now? In a few month we want to move together. What will happen to my heels? I don`t know what she thinks. In a post a longer time ago I told you about that I was wearing heels at carnival and her reaction dissapointed me very hard and it´s like my trust to talk with her about my heelthing is gone. But I have to talk to her. Last Sunday I saw a girl with another absolutly horrific and terrible rosee mokassins and that gives me the rest. Take a look and cry: http://cgi.ebay.de/NEU-Mokassin-Loafer-ESPRIT-Rosa-Groesse-38-Sommer-Slipper_W0QQitemZ290013241772QQihZ019QQcategoryZ23447QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem Have nice day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shrimper Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 You have my sympathies. It sounds like your g/f is bothered by your affection for shoes and wants to know that you really want her for who she is and not for her shoes. I would say its insecurity on her part but its probably not something you will be able to change by emphasizing it. You may even need to consider finding another person who has more compatible tastes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 You have my sympathies. It sounds like your g/f is bothered by your affection for shoes and wants to know that you really want her for who she is and not for her shoes. I would say its insecurity on her part but its probably not something you will be able to change by emphasizing it. You may even need to consider finding another person who has more compatible tastes. WERD^^^ Oh yeah this one has "insecurity" issues... Make sue that you are clear that she may not want to wear heels, does not mean you have to stop wearing them as well. Better off getting a clear understanding now on what is expected than after investing allot in to a relationship. Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shafted Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Based on what you have posted here, and your sincere disappointment in what she has chosen to wear. If you conceed, you'll only be left wanting and will probably wind up miserable. I hope you can work it out, but it sounds like you are too different from each other to be compatable. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted August 1, 2006 Share Posted August 1, 2006 Oh yeah, one thing need to be understood is that physical attraction is important as well in a relationship, and nobody could convince me other wise by saying is should be based on emotional. Bull!! How do females get males attracted to them first place! By looking good, you want to keep them, dress up once in a while. Actualy, it goes for both sexes... Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeelD Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 She can wear what she wants can't she?! I think you're reading too much into it personally. My girlfriend can wear what she wants on her feet and I can wear what I want on my feet. Fair enough to me. One day I may wear heels, and she'll wear flats. And then on another day she may wear heels and I wear flats. And for the record I do own some heeled mocassins and a flat pair, nice ones, not nasty like the ones pictured (they look cheap). They are comfortable. Heel-D - Freestyling since 2005 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 She can wear what she wants can't she?! I think you're reading too much into it personally. My girlfriend can wear what she wants on her feet and I can wear what I want on my feet. Fair enough to me. One day I may wear heels, and she'll wear flats. And then on another day she may wear heels and I wear flats. And for the record I do own some heeled mocassins and a flat pair, nice ones, not nasty like the ones pictured (they look cheap). They are comfortable. Lets put it this way, everbody does not have the same standards in a relationship. Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shafted Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 She can wear what she wants can't she?! I think you're reading too much into it personally. My girlfriend can wear what she wants on her feet and I can wear what I want on my feet. Fair enough to me. One day I may wear heels, and she'll wear flats. And then on another day she may wear heels and I wear flats. And for the record I do own some heeled mocassins and a flat pair, nice ones, not nasty like the ones pictured (they look cheap). They are comfortable. The real problem here is that it sounds like shes wearing crappy shoes because he'd like to see her in something better. A relationship can only get worse if out of the gate one party is doing something out of spite. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phoenix Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 I agree with HEEl-D she can wear what she wants. But, it sound like something changed in the relationship. Instead of talking about the problem, if there is one, she is being passive-aggressive. Obviously don’t know your relationship at all but it does sound like a dilemma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luxxyheels Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 I don't mind the first pair to much. The others, eh, it's her choice. Remember, you love the person, not the shoes . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
since-i-can-rem Posted August 2, 2006 Author Share Posted August 2, 2006 Hey guys, thanks for the anwsers, but don`t get mad about my realationship. This is the only girl I love my plans are to marry her and get kids! I love her with hh and with flats. But I have to say, after writing you my "story" I feel better. Thanks anyway and I will tell you when I have some news! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted August 2, 2006 Share Posted August 2, 2006 She is so obvoiusly trying to send you a message. Have you been putting pressure on her to wear heels? Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
since-i-can-rem Posted August 3, 2006 Author Share Posted August 3, 2006 She is so obvoiusly trying to send you a message. Have you been putting pressure on her to wear heels? No, never! She always wears them when she wants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfgang Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I don't really like any of those pink shoes, but the first pair are exceedingly ugly o.o Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 No, never! She always wears them when she wants. Mmmmmmmmmmmmm.... Mabye she is jellous? But I don't see how... It better not be one of those "I love you but I don't like what you wear". Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BobHH Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 My wife was so beautiful and wonderful, it didn't matter what she wore. The shoes she liked later on were not attractive to me, but that was OK, as they were an accepted style, especially in business. I always supported her in what she liked and was comfortable for her, though I tried gently to steer her to the more attractive styles. The girl I am in love with now (to no avail) is, likewise, so beautiful to me that I compliment her no matter what she is wearing, and sometimes she dresses very plainly, almost grandmotherly to my way of thinking. Sometimes she dresses very attractively, but she is always beautiful and delightful. And she likes the compliments. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dr1819 Posted August 5, 2006 Share Posted August 5, 2006 As with nearly all endeavors involving more than one person, people have to make choices to accomodate the other. She may be uncomfortable with your heel wear. You may be uncomfortable if she slept around. Obviously, if the relationship is to work, you would probably want her to be monogamous, as you're comfortable with that kind of relationship. She probably wants you to tone down your heel wear, as she's comfortable being with someone who doesn't attract too much attention. The key thing to remember is that it's not how much and of what kind of attention you actually attract. What matters is how much and of what kind of attention she thinks you'll attract. It takes time (minimum a few months, up to several years, sometimes never) before a woman becomes reassured that her man's deviations from fashion norms aren't going to have all of society breathing down their necks. Some people are deviants, and welcome things that are novel, but most are conformists and shy away from anything outside of what they usually see from day to day. While this happens, if she initially accepts your wearing conservative heels, the best thing you can do to gain her trust and respect is by respecting her input. If she says she's ok with moderation, then be moderate. Pushing the envelope is a sign of disrespect, and that doesn't help. Give it several months, and over time, if you have higher heels in your closet that she knows about, wear them around the house once a week or so, but keep it about 10% of the time you're with her indoors. If she asks you why you're wearing them, just be honest, and work with her. Your respecting her wishes will usually make her want to accomodate your desires, and repeated success with the more conservative choices will help her accept more bold styles. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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