I'm in heaven!

[utahnylon]

Hi All!

I can't tell you how excited I am! Well, yes I can. I got my 4 inch stilettos yesterday. I've had them on almost constantly. I'm getting better at walking in them. In a few days it will feel more natural I expect. Previously I've only worn three inch heels and lower. It's interesting how the more you wear heels the more you can't go without them. I'm learning more about taking smaller steps.

I have a few questions for the group.

First, I bought my heels from Perresibler.com. Here are the pumps I bought: http://www.pierresilber.com/4inclaspum.html

I got the black Patent.

So far the quality appears to be good. The shoes were only $29.95. Can anyone tell me how they wear? How durable are most pumps in that price range? Is there a steel shank attached to a steel post? The heel looks plastic. It feels firm and doesn't appear to flex.

Second, in guy shoes I wear a 9 1/2. (My foot is probably more a 9 because of thicker socks I wear with guy shoes.) In most women's shoes I wear an 11. But in pumps I like the fit of a 10 better. I don't like to loose of a fit, 10 is a little tight but 11 is to loose. When you guys buy pumps do you get them in a tighter fit?

In any case I wish I could get my wife to accept me in heels. I know it's had for women to have a man do something outside the norm. But as for me I'd have a closet full of heels if it were my choice. Actually I do, but she doesn't know that.

Len

[Steve B]

Personally, I prefer a comfortable fit, which translates to slightly loose. I found that I have more toe room in a larger size, but the shoe itself becomes almost too loose. Jante size 11 is true-to-size for me. A little loose, but comfortable. Pleasers, on the other hand, are small for the same size. A size 12 Pleaser feels the same as a size 11 Jante.

[Bubba136]

Once again, we're facing the same problem that has plagued us forever on this board. When is a size a constant? It depends upon the manufacturer. And the only answer is to try shoes on before you buy them because one manufacturer's size 9 last is the same size as another manufacturer's size 10. Only with experience can you determine which size fits you best. -- as for a tight or looser fit, that's a personal preference.

[micha]

Hi All!

I can't tell you how excited I am! Well, yes I can. I got my 4 inch stilettos yesterday. I've had them on almost constantly....

In any case I wish I could get my wife to accept me in heels. I know it's had for women to have a man do something outside the norm. But as for me I'd have a closet full of heels if it were my choice. Actually I do, but she doesn't know that.

Len

Dear Len,

you are obviously another addicted! But please confess your passion to your wife. I hope that she isn't a flip flop or Birkenstock health shoe fanatic. It's a more trustfull way to have no secrets one beneath the other. How would she and you react if she should detect by accident your secrete shoe closet ?!? You red like a tomato and she disappointed because of your lack of confidence rsp. your mystery-mongering. Many women are tolerant. You should give her at least a chance to become acquainted with your passion. The merit will be a life without fear or even a life with a common passion

I'm gay, nevertheless I have met some heterosexual pairs who are living luckily together with the same high heels obsession.

nice greetings

micha

PS

Two years ago I appeared at a family meeting on high heels. It wasn't as hard as I expected. At first they all were grinning but later we had an interesting discussion. My family has become accustomed to Michael on heels. I need not to be afraid because of my shoe closet if I should die on a climbing tour or by a traffic accident. I hope that they all will be lamenting "He has died much too early. He had no chance to wear the newest heels fashion again"

[Dawn HH]

What Micha says has great merit. You should take his advise to heart. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Shafted]

utahnylon, In regards to your questions about quality of shoe construction, almost all modern stilettos utilize a plasic heel block reinforced with a steel spike. Shanks have always been made of steel as well to my knowledge, and in a high heel a steel shank is required in order to keep the arch of the shoe from collapsing or the shoe from twisting.

[Painter]

Hi, welcome to our goup. I've bought all the pumps that Silber sells, and they seem quite sturdy; but I wear them only in my home, so street-wearing might call for caution. In my opinion, though, the Silber pumps are well worth the money for fit and appearance. I wear a 13D man's shoe and find I can wear most women's 13Ms comfortably, with some stretching and repeated wearings. Unfortunately there are few 13Ws around, so my trusty stretcher is very useful for widening the Ms. Bubba is right-on about the variations between manufacturers. Only by trying shoes on can you know whether they will work for you. As for keeping secrets from your wife, I agree with Micha: it's a bad idea. It'll create distance, ultimately harming your relationship, and she is likely to find out anyway, if she doesn't already know. Painter

[DeSalto]

I would advise you to tell everything about your passion for pumps to your wife, but you have to wait for the right moment. My wife knows about my wearing heels and accepts it, I think sometimes she even likes it. But I had to wait almost two years of marriage to tell her. She always knew I am a heel fetichist, but not that I loved to wear heels too. One night she bought a beautifull pair of black ankle strap d'orsay heels and gave me the package telling it was for me to wear. When I opened the package and saw the heels, I took a look at her and asked: Do you want me to wear this? She laugh and told me it was just a joke, the heels were for her (although she had bought them just to pleasure me). So, next weekend I bought a pair of similar heels in my size and gave to her. When she opened the package, she said: "but I already have a pair like this" and I replied "just look at the size: they are not for you!". She looked to me in surprise and asked if I was going to wear them and I told her I was inspired by her joke last weekend, and wanted to try them just to have fun. That was the beggining of a long journey into heels. Today I own about 30 pairs of heels, and she knows and accepts it. Sometimes she even buys me heels because I showed her that my wearing heels could add something extra to our relationship. You just have to be quite honest to her, your marriage have to be OK, you must assure her you are 100% male and that it is just a game for fun. But it will only work if she is opened mind. No matter what you do, if she is closed mind I suggest you to think carefully about telling her, becouse the journey through acceptance will may be a lot harder.

[Painter]

Hi, DeSalto, Beautifully and smartly handled and reported. Painter

[Pam]

Well said! It is key to have an open mind to make sure that it easier to bring the heels into any relationship. Yet the other ingredient is right timing... Working on both of them with the wifey! Pam

[Bubba136]

To us, the guys that wear high heels, there is nothing wrong with the practice. In our view, it doesn't detract from our overall manliness or qualification for becoming the perfect mate and father. We are still the same trustworthy, honest, hard working, kind, considerate, normal men that any woman would be lucky to be married to. In our perception, the fact that we have this personality "quirk," isn't really a big thing. However, I would guess that there is only a 5 to 10% chance of finding women that will completely accept a man in heels without misgivings. Another 10% might tolerate this highly unusual practice. The rest will find the practice completely unacceptable. The time to tell your wife about your wearing high heels is before you asked her to marry you. There are far too many members of this board that told their wives or partners after the fact and have suffered unexpectedly devastating consequences. Not all women are open minded about men wearing women's accouterments and willing to accept the practice at face value. More often than not, women feel betrayed that they didn't know about this serious aspect of their mates personality so they could add it to the "mix" when deciding if this is the right guy for them. And, they are, quite rightly, vitally concerned about how this will affect any children they bring into the union. The difficulty with bringing up the subject, post wedding day, is that the women doesn't have the opportunity to end the relationship, it they find the practice repulsive, before making a lasting commitment. The resulting feeling of their husband's not being completely honest with them could last an entire lifetime -- if they stay together that long -- or lead to a quick dissolution of the union to the determent of all concerned. So, for all you guy heel wearers out there, based on my personal experience and my experience of almost 7 years association with Jenny's chatroom and website, tell your prospective partners as quickly as it becomes apparent that the relationship is getting serious and you are going to be more than just "boy-friend/girlfriend." It will save both of you serious heart aches in the future.

[utahnylon]

Interesting you should mention that! She knows I'm into lingerie and stockings. She's tolerant to that in bed. I've brought up to her before that I want to wear heels. Her response is that "I'm out of here". She is VERY conservative. I've been into CD'ing from a young age. And have never shared it with anyone. So this is new territory for me. For a long time I had been trying to get my wife into wearing more interesting lingerie herself. She flippantly said no, if you like it you wear it. So I did! Well that was a big shock for her. Also, she is now very careful not to put a challenge out that she can't accept. I keep trying to talk directly to her and I just get shut down. You know, the typical stuff like; I married a man, are you Gay? In any case I'm trying hard to open her mind. But it's a very slow process. Thanks All, Len

[Bubba136]

Thanks, utahnylon. Guys, I rest my case.

[mk4625]

When we were dating, Katherine let me wear a pair of platform slides in the house. Unfortunately she made me get rid of my thigh boots. Rather than simply throw them out I had my friend Sam take indefinite custody of them.

Just before I married her, Katherine started letting me wear the slides when we went out walking, but only after dark. I would say I've made some progress, but she still won't let me wear the boots, not even when she's not around.

Wearing the slides (all leather with 4 inch wedge bottoms from womensshoesplus.com) gives me enough pleasure though, that I can't say I miss the boots that much.

Michael

I wish I could get my wife to accept me in heels. Len

[Dawn HH]

Let me reinforce what Bubba has said because unfortunately these incidents do happen frequently and it is best to feel out the ladies BEFORE you get serious and ruin an otherwise good marriage and possible do irreputable damage in the long run. If you read back through the old threads you will find a great deal of information to substantiate this. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[dr1819]

Yeah, I'd probably ditto that. It takes more than honesty in relationships. It takes openness. If your honey has a problem with your choice of attire, then now's the time to address it.

Here's a couple sources where she might find some good information:

http://www.kiltmen.com/wives.htm

http://www.kiltmen.com/bible.htm

http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Heights/7396/rdrm/dealingwithxdressingspouse.html

http://www.rachelmiller.info/spouse.htm

The last has a few good links.

[micha]

Yeah, I'd probably ditto that. It takes more than honesty in relationships. It takes openness. If your honey has a problem with your choice of attire, then now's the time to address it.

Here's a couple sources where she might find some good information:

http://www.kiltmen.com/wives.htm

http://www.kiltmen.com/bible.htm

http://www.geocities.com/WestHollywood/Heights/7396/rdrm/dealingwithxdressingspouse.html

http://www.rachelmiller.info/spouse.htm

The last has a few good links.

Hi dr1819,

you found a lot of interesting links. My compliments! Fortunately all my best friends (male , female, homosexual and heterosexual) never had any problem with my outfit

Yesterday I visited the Christopher Street Day in my hometown Frankfurt together with some friends (male and female). I was wearing pointy pink 4'' stiletto boots, low hipjeans and a very short pink shirt. Everybody would have been disappointed if I had appeared in another outfit

nice greetings

micha

PS It's so easy if I you are ready to ignore all your fears. On the way to the toilets in the underground railway station I heard behind me a comment of two girls "Isn't he sweet?!". Hmm, I had not the impression that they meant it ironically.

[Bubba136]

http://www.rachelmiller.info/spouse03.htm

There's a lot of good advice in these articles. Some of the things mentioned in them have already been mentioned by members here. Others that they cover are, perhaps, better said by the authors of these pages -- a little clearer in presentation. However, it's surprising how personal experience can lead a person to the same conclusions, no matter how they're said.

The bottom line is if you don't have a two way communication link going on from the very begining, nothing will, or is ever going to, save your relationship.

[asdf174]

As I allways say, Just be glad you are in a realationship. Being alone is a hell of a lot worse then your spouse not "accepting" you in heels.

[Pam]

Great source!