Confessions Of A Shopaholic

[freestyle75]

 

After I read Buzz Bissinger’s shopping addiction story quite a while ago, I started questioning whether I do have a very similar problem. My new year’s resolution 2015 has to do with this, which is why I am posting the following text here – along the line of Buzz’s story.

 

In the last 6 years, I’ve bought fashion items for close to 172,000 US Dollars. It’s a secret that I’ve shared with no one I know in real life. I am 39 years old, work in a middle management position, single, seriously love fashion - and I am a shopaholic.

 

I am a new breed of shopper. It’s in rare cases that I still go shopping in a “brick & mortar” store, as they call it. How could I go to such a store anyway? – My usual working day is about 13 hours long, I also work on the weekends, but I try to have at least one free day a week, mostly Saturday. I don’t have much time to buy offline. My job has something to do with online stuff, so naturally, I buy online.

 

I open up my email inbox. I do have three accounts – one for my family & friends, the second one to keep track of the things I order and the third one for newsletters and other not-so-important-stuff. I get 20 – 30 emails from online shops around the world a day. Marketers always wonder which day of week is the best to send out email newsletters; in fashion, every day seems to be the preferred day of online shops. Neiman Marcus informs me about the “EXTRA 40% off Online Clearance Today Only!”, Mr Porter chimes in with “The best of the sale: up to 70% off”, while Burberry wants me to discover their Fall/Winter collection 2015. Aww… nice, they even offer to add a personalized metal badge to the coat with my name on it. Matchesfashion announce that these are the final reductions – no reminder necessary anymore, I’ve already placed my order last week.

These are just a few of a dozen online shops sending me emails with discounts today. End of season sales, private sales, VIP rebates – there is always something you can save. And it seems to be getting crazier with even steeper discounts every season, for those who want to wait.

That’s why I prefer to buy online – it’s cheaper, it’s quicker, and you have more variety to choose from.

 

I do have a browser plugin that creates thumbnails of my bookmarked websites and updates them every 24 hours. I do have my 25 favorite German online stores on one tab, another 25 within Europe, and another 25 in the US. Another 30 or so thumbnails lead to online shoe stores around the globe, and if I don’t find things directly, there is always polyvore, shopstyle and farfetch to do metasearches for those shops that aren’t already on my radar anyways.

 

The browser plugin shows previews of each site which are updated frequently - never miss a sale...

 

Sometimes, I also get vouchers that can only be redeemed offline. Like the $50 birthday voucher I got early April last year for a local luxury fashion store where I ended up buying a 200 USD Kenzo sweater (minus $50) and a $2,600 Belstaff leather jacket. Both of which I don’t really need, but which look very cool. Originally, I just wanted to pick up a suit I had bought 8 weeks ago which needed to be altered.

 

I have an addiction. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t take drugs, but I am addicted to fashion. I do get a high from extraordinary fashion pieces, tailored in an unusual way, made from fine materials or whatever the reason might be to buy whatever I am buying.

 

It started in winter 2009, after I had spoiled a pair of trousers when walking through deep snow. I had wondered why men weren’t allowed to wear knee-high boots like women, which would protect your trousers and could be cleaned more easily. In my search, I discovered snow boots, luxury snow boots and finally THE knee high equestrian (riding) boots I just had to get - at a shop in London that was selling a pair of 900 GBP Ann Demeulemeester equestrian boots, made from the most exquisite leather I had ever seen. I had never ordered something so expensive online, and especially not from a retailer outside of the country where I live in, which is Germany.

 

I didn’t know which size would fit, so I placed an order for two pairs of boots in two sizes at a total of 1,800 GBP. The delivery message I got at work read “parcel left at front door”, which made my heart drop, but luckily, my neighbor had picked it up and stored it safely.

 

The boots that started it all: Equestrian boots by Ann Demeulemeester, fall/winter 2009 collection.

 

 

These boots were really nice, but I had seen another pair from Dior at the same website, which I also liked. At that time, I still thought of items above 500 USD as real “investment pieces”, so it took me another month to finally place the order for the Dior pair I had seen.

 

For me, this opened up Pandora’s Box. So far, men’s clothing had been kind of dull. The local shops carried the usual high street brands, but nothing spectacular. After I had found this one shop, I discovered that online luxury shops were booming. It seems that I wasn’t the only one in Europe facing the problem not to live close to London, Paris or Milan. Luxury brands suddenly were just one mouse click away.

 

I own 123 pairs of shoes and boots, sixty-seven trousers & jeans, thirty jackets, sixteen coats and ten skirts last time I counted. Now probably some more. Some of the stuff is men’s, some is women’s. I don’t care. What was deemed impossible for men to wear 10 years back is now no problem anymore, but women’s fashion is still much more exciting.

Looking at runway pictures, I became bolder in my choices. Rick Owens created heels for men, so why shouldn’t I be wearing them? Looking at pictures of Charles Guislain wearing wedges or models like Andrej Pejic – why can’t I be wearing something like that?

 

Some call the creations of Gareth Pugh "Luxury gothic" - Paris Hilton wearing his 2011 f/w season coat (left). 3,000 USD men's version of the same coat I ordered at an Italian boutique (right). 

 

While I wear suits to the office, I revel in my fashion freedom outside of work. I have had my phases of the goth-type of look (Gareth Pugh, Rick Owens), extreme posh phases (e.g. Burberry coat with mink fur), and still enjoy gender-bending when wearing heels, knee high boots, skirts and other stuff like coats or jackets that are tailored much more narrow (my tailor will take out any bust darts if necessary). I generally enjoy to have the freedom to express whatever mood I am in. When I dated women 5 years back, I always tried to look “normal”, i.e. how you would expect an average guy to look like. No heels, nothing edgy, but dressed nicely. Maybe a bit too nicely, as it got me nowhere – except for women who were after my money and enjoyed being invited to wherever I would take them. So far, I haven’t found anyone who would share my fashion-craziness and would be understanding when it comes to wearing heels or a skirt as a guy.

 

Call it midlife crisis, but I finally don’t give a f*** anymore what people say.

If I really want to find a soulmate, she should like me how I really am.

 

When I changed jobs and had to move towns, I moved into a bigger penthouse apartment. “Here’s the master bedroom, here’s kid’s room #1 and here’s kid’s room #2”. “Nice”, I replied, “that will become my walk in closet”.

 

Walk in closet. As it was too small to keep my shoe collection, I am using part of my study room to store my shoe collection (not shown)

 

It was the first time I actually saw all the things I owned in one place, even though even this space became too small after just one year. I own items from Acne, Alexander McQueen, Alexander Wang, Ann Demeulemeester, Balenciaga, Belstaff, Burberry, Christian Louboutin, Comme des Garcons, Costume National, Dior, Escada, Fendi, Gareth Pugh, Givenchy, Jil Sander, Kenzo, Lagerfeld, Lanvin, Marc Jacobs, McQ, Michael Kors, Miu Miu, Moncler, Paco Rabanne, Paul Smith, Prada, Proenza Schouler, Ralph Lauren, Rick Owens, Sergio Rossi, Versace, Yves Saint Laurent and Zegna – just to name a few of the more well known brands.

 

Shoes I wear more frequently are stored in my walk in closet. The lower four levels are drawers that can be moved in order to easily access the shoes in the second row. 8 pairs of business shoes are kept separately in my entrance hall.

 

I enjoy wearing the things as much as hunting for them – there’s hardly anything I haven’t managed to get my hands on, even if it takes dozens of phone calls or emails to boutiques around the globe to get a certain item. I have ordered items from the US, UK, France, Belgium, the Netherlands, Spain, Portugal, Austria, Italy, Poland and Russia (Russia was most unusual, as the shop didn't accept credit cards. I had to transfer 600 USD in single 50 USD transactions over several days via a Russian Paypal clone). For those rare occasions where I wasn’t able to buy runway pieces, I’ve created them on my own (I’ve mastered sewing), producing perfect replicas of e.g. a Gareth Pugh shirt with appliqués that wasn’t produced in my size.

 

When I started buying the more expensive stuff in 2009, I started keeping track of what I bought on my computer. I don’t need to track my grocery shopping or my rent – I know where most of my income is flowing into: Clothing and shoes, my shoe collection alone at 56,000 USD.

 

Ask me for any type of clothing, I have it “in stock”. I don’t need anything of what I am buying. Still – I find myself browsing style.com each season, looking at magazines like L’officiel or GQ style for the latest fashion pics, browsing my favorite store websites or fashion forums when it’s rainy outside and I need a break.

 

One guy posted a picture of a Rick Owens shearling leather jacket in a forum, with a simple comment below it: “This one is gorgeous.”

 

 

5,700 USD shearling jacket by Rick Owens.

 

At work, I am the most rational, analytical person. At home, this part of my brain seems to go into sleep mode once I hit the fashion spot. I saw the picture and had to admit: It really is gorgeous.

I have to have this jacket. No. I don’t need it. I already do own plenty of leather jackets. But not a single shearling leather jacket. But enough warm jackets. Shutting off rational brain part NOW.

Probably it’s sold out anyway. Google is my friend. 30 minutes later I found a shop in London that advertised exactly this jacket on its website.

Can I afford it? 5,700 USD. Wow. I will probably end up broke when I am a retiree, but at least I am dressed well. Hmm… I am not sure what size I am. Order two sizes and send one back? 11,400 USD on my credit card… don’t like that idea. When is my next stay in London? Two weeks from now.

 

I ended up calling the shop to reserve the jacket for me. Not buying, just browsing, right?

I extended my London business trip by one day with the sole purpose of sightseeing. Just kidding.

The analytical part of my brain helps me to put together a map of my favorite shops in London, optimize my shopping spree and spend the maximum amount of money in the shortest timeframe possible. In just three hours after the last meeting had ended, I’d spent 2,500 USD on a bag, a shirt and a scarf. No, I probably shouldn’t have visited the store with the Rick Owens jacket, but then again, they were so nice to reserve the jacket for me.

 

Probably the jacket won’t fit anyway. Or I don’t like the leather, or how the fur inside of the jacket feels like. Maybe it’s too small or they have sold it already. I probably will think about this jacket for the next months if I don’t try it on at least.

 

I visited the store – it was still there. And it did fit. No, it didn’t just fit, it fit like they took my measurements and tailored it just for me. The leather is… amazing. The shearling fur is just the way I imagined it. The sales clerk started his typical sales talk, but I didn’t need any convincing. I really wished it hadn’t been so perfect.

Of course I was added to the email newsletter by the sales clerk, who handed me his business card. “Call me any time you see something you would like”. 15 minutes later I left with a large bag and yet another leather jacket in my collection. The melodic chime of a text message on my iPhone told me that Amex just put another charge on my credit card.

 

Happy and sad at the same time, I drove back to the hotel. I got the jacket! I don’t need the jacket. I should have saved the money. But it’s a cool jacket. Ok, this was the last item, I am putting a hold on fashion shopping. This was back in September.

 

Not that I would really need additional jackets... 

 

The pause I originally intended to take on fashion shopping lasted for 11 days. Till I had another meeting in a different European city where I still had a 15% voucher for shoes that you normally do not get reduced anywhere. Anywhere! Really! After that, of course I did some more shopping, always buying “the last item” after which I would supposedly stop.

 

Like in any addiction - the more I buy, the sooner the craving starts again. Sometimes I already start looking for the next item although I did not even receive the one that is still underway.

I worked on a budget calculation for a full Sunday, starting at 8 in the morning. When I finally was finished at around 9 p.m., I treated myself with a pair of boots I had my eyes on for a few days.

 

I’ve shopped online in the most unusual locations and situations, e.g. placing the highest bid on an ebay auction during a board meeting WHILE talking to the CEO; placing an online order while commuting to work in my car (entering another bit of information into the order form whenever I had to stop in the traffic jam); ordering a pair of designer trousers via phone while driving on the Autobahn at 140 mph (I know my credit card details by heart) or “remotely” shopping by getting snapshots sent via WhatsApp by the sales clerk.

 

Modern shopping at an (offline) designer store: Sales assistant messaging pictures of items, ordering via WhatsApp.

 

My friends don’t know about this addiction. They notice that I seem to have quite a large collection of different clothing items, but they (luckily) don’t know the price tag. Shopping as such also doesn’t have the same stigma in society as drinking or smoking. I shop, therefore I am.

I joked with one of our office assistants that I have shopped way too much during sale, to which she replied that she even hides some of her purchases from her boyfriend in order not to get into trouble. Lucky me, I don’t need to hide my stuff from anyone.

 

The longer I was buying within this luxury world, the more “normal” it became to buy a pair of 700 USD boots, 2,000 USD jackets or 1,200 USD leggings. Some of the items I would buy even though I would rarely wear them. How often do you see a guy in Marc Jacobs biker boots, black Balenciaga leather leggings and an Alexander McQueen sweater that is so long it almost looks like a dress? – maybe during Fashion week, but not in your local grocery store. Hunting for an item and adding it to my “collection” sometimes was more important than actually wearing it.

 

Six years after I bought my first designer piece, I noticed that the thrill is not the same as it was back then. There are some “guides” on “the basic wardrobe items a gentleman should own”. I own them all. Basic, intermediate, advanced. Not only the men’s items, but sometimes even the women’s ones.

 

Shirts.

 

Belts.

 

Ankle boots in black with no heel? Check. Ankle boots in black suede leather with no heel? Check. Same with low heel, cuban heel, mid-sized heel, high heel, stiletto heel? Check. Same game with knee high boots? Check. In brown? Check. In cognac color? Check.

 

Jeans. Slim fit, regular fit, loose fit, palazzo, bootcut, flared. In various lengths to accomodate my different heel heights. The other pairs are kept in plastic boxes, as I am missing additional storage room to hang them as nicely as these ones.

 

It becomes harder and harder to find something really exciting out there which I don’t already own in some form or shape. And to be honest: The high I get from receiving that one particular item gets lower and lower.

 

Trying to put a hold on my fashion shopping addiction is one of my new year’s resolutions. I still have my list of items from 2014 that are on sale now which I am buying (last item has just been dispatched from the online shop), but after that: Full stop.

 

Is my resolution going to drive me nuts? Probably so. Same happens when you quit smoking.

Six years back, I didn’t have this addiction, so it is time to get rid of it. With the amount of clothes I own, I should be able to survive a year of no shopping.

[gary0618]

You have left me speechless. And apparently everyone else also.

[Pumped]

I think the $172,000 in six years shut most of us down! That works out to about $28,000 per year. After taxes I wonder how many here may that kind on change. I don't spend 1/50th of that on clothing per year. That "mid level management job" pays fairly well!

 

On the other hand I do ride motorcyce a lot and have a couple bikes in the garage right now, but I still have not spent that kind of money.

[ilikekicks]

"Call it midlife crisis, but I finally don’t give a f*** anymore what people say.

If I really want to find a soulmate, she should like me how I really am."

Exactly!

I think the $172,000 in six years shut most of us down! That works out to about $28,000 per year. After taxes I wonder how many here may that kind on change. I don't spend 1/50th of that on clothing per year. That "mid level management job" pays fairly well!

Im quite guilty in another ' direction '. In the last year, I have acquired 5 different BlackStar Amplifiers, 8 new Charvel Guitars, 2 new recording boards, 4 new 8channel firewire recording interfaces, 4 20-space racks all filled with amps and effects..

I think we all have some ' area of interest ' we spend cash or too much time with. Its different for each of us, but we ALL have it.

Cheers!

-ILK