Wish People That Are Close To U Were More Acceptable

[AZShoeNut]

Hello newguy,

 

Man, I hear you.  It is crazy how the emotional pendulum swings when it comes to doing the high heel thing when you don't have a completely supporting partner (spouse).  I recall the day that I decided eff it, I am wearing my heels.  I was super excited and thrilled that I was finally living my thing.  That excitement quickly fell to a gawd awful feeling when my wife fully expressed just how insecure it made her feel.  We have had many ups and downs.  I spent several months going out in my heels several times a week.  She got used to it but it really was a don't ask, don't tell kind of arrangement.  She is cool with me wearing them around the house and I do so frequently in the evening.  She still will not go out with me in heels with one drunken exception and one evening for a walk around the neighborhood in the dark.  One evening recently we were discussing another couple whose marriage is in question and noting that our relationship, though its been through several ups and downs, is working out pretty well.  I said that my thing for heels has certainly rocked the boat at times and her smile turned serious and said that it is still a not so light issue.

 

She also surprises me every now and then.  I got a Payless gift card one time for Christmas and a gift card to my favorite hang out when I wear heels.  Also, she was going to join me in my fundraiser walk this year but it got changed up and was made into a fashion show only available to Pike fraternity guys and gals so that didn't happen.

 

So, all that I can say is that the spouse thing is probably one of the most challenging aspects of wearing heels out publicly.  At least that has been my greatest challenge to wearing heels out and about.  The good still out weighs the bad in my relationship so I tread carefully on this subject and I take my private jaunts in heels every so often.

 

Best,

Larry 

[Rick24]

The problem is that we live in a world where females are obsessed with image, looks. and how we dress, when teenage girls to young women are brainwashed into magazines, and TV, they need to idolise the type of person that they would love to be,If a famous man where to wear a pair of stilettos under his jeans, the press would try and shame that man. and also nasty people will make bad comments on the internet. I mean if you have a talent, that means in today's world, its all about how you look, your body, face and everything else, I can't stand kim kardashian or her family, they are a market brand of nothing but materialistic culture, how can a man wear his heels in the street with the attitude that the world is in, shows like x-factor seem more interested,  how pretty the singer is than there voice, if a man went on with his heels and had a good voice, would he be told that you need to wear this and not wear that,

[HappyinHeels]

newguy, Well, my friend, based on the foregoing I'd say you have the classic "what we have here is a failure to communicate" situation in your marriage or marriages. These things didn't happen overnight and you're probably at wits end to understand it all. You have received an encyclopedia's worth of valuable information here from an array of members who have been married (long, short, and in-between) and how they dealt with this issue.

There is much truth to the concept of "comfort zones" and how we respond to them and Steve63130 has very wise advice on how he approaches this. Dr. Shoe has very thoughtful ideas on how to address this issue if not indeed the larger marriage problem you are having and her input would be very useful to you now.

You should be able to live your life on your terms but also within the comfort zones of your wife. You may well be headed for a third divorce (I am having problems comprehending that) or this third time could be a charm if effective communication is used to see your way through it. If this does not work however then I would radically change the way you search for a mate. Some of us, like Steve63130 who has been married over 35 years and myself who has been married 30 years were very lucky to find wonderful mates that have lasted the test of time while others may have had to dig deeper to achieve the same level of happiness but that doesn't make it not a worthwhile goal. We all wish you well and hope things will work out so that you can find your right place in this world wherever and with whomever that might be.   HappyinHeels