Humor

[gary0618]

It Seems All the prior joke threads are closed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Shafted]

I hope you're prepared for retaliation of the like.

[meganiwish]

It Seems All the prior joke threads are closed.

 

 

 

HowToBeBritish.jpg

 

 

 

You can tell im british.jpg

Like

Oh, and this, though they've changed the smiles http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pj46zZylcJU

[Dr. Shoe]

Last month the UN conducted a world wide survey, they only asked one question. "Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortages in the 3rd world?". In Eastern Europe they didn't know what honest meant. In mainland western Europe they didn't know what shortage meant. In Africa they didn't know what food meant. In China they didn't know what opinion meant.   In the Middle East they didn't know what solution meant. In South America they didn't know what please meant. In the USA they didn't know what the rest of the world meant. And in Britain everyone hung up when they heard an Indian accent!

[nyenor]

Thank you Dr Shoe. I enjoyed that little joke

[Dr. Shoe]

"True" Story.

 

A journalist from the Washington Post asked the British Ambassador what he would like for Christmas. Now, he was well known for his gaffes and thought that he'd better say something that couldn't be quoted out of context and was safely uncontroversial. After a few seconds he replied that he would like a new pipe and a pair of slippers.

 

The next day, an article appeared:

 

We asked all the world's ambassadors what they would like for Christmas. The Chinese ambassador said he would like to see universal peace and the end to all war, the Russian ambassador said he would like to see a world-wide end to oppression and the man from France said he'd like to see an end to world poverty and famine. The British ambassador would like a new pipe and a pair of slippers.

[quidam]

The following telephone exchange between room-service and a guest at a hotel in Asia was recorded and published in the Far East Economic Review.

Hotel: Morny, ruin sorbees. Guest: Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service. Hotel: Rye! Ruin sorbees ... morny! Jewish to odor sunteen?? Guest: Uh ... yes ... I'd like some bacon and eggs. Hotel: Ow July den? Guest: What?? Hotel: Ow July den ... pry, boy, pooch? Guest: Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please. Hotel: Ow July dee baychem ... crease? Guest: Crisp will be fine. Hotel: Hokay. An San tos? Guest: What? Hotel: San tos. July San tos? Guest: I don't think so. Hotel: No? Judo one toes? Guest: I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo onetoes' means. Hotel: Toes! Toes! ... Why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlishmopping we bother? Guest: English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine.Yes, an English muffin will be fine. Hotel: We bother? Guest: No, just put the bother on the side. Hotel: Wad? Guest: I mean butter ... just put it on the side. Hotel: Copy? Guest: Sorry? Hotel: Copy ... tea ... mill? Guest: Yes. Coffee please, and that's all. Hotel: One Minnie. Ass strangle ache, creasebaychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy... rye? Guest: Whatever you say. Hotel: Ten jew berry mud. Guest: You're welcome.