Question about possible realization

[hades]

Took the courage to go outside for a 20 minute walk in my 5"heel/1"platform boots. Was beautiful outside, everything covered in snow. Anyway, was thinking about stuff, how, at that moment, I could not care less who saw me... Anyway, the I realized that there has to be a connection between my self-confidence and heel wearing. I'm usually a reserved person, who does not really like to be the center of attention. That's probabaly my biggest block against wearing the heels I want outside. I do not like attention and hence I'm really self-conscious. If I build up some major self confidence, then I should be able to wear heels outside properly AND be also a better man because I can get used to attention and be a better public speaker/manager/etc when the time comes. Could you please answer the following question: Are you one of these types? - Reserved, does not like attention [and hence afraid to go outside in heels] - Outgoing, self-confident, no problems making speeches, presentations... [and hence no problems wearing heels outside]. Mainly, is there a relationship between heel-wearers wearing heels and their self-confidence level which also impacts the way we work, present, etc? I'm more type 1, but trying to slowly make a transition to type 2.

[Highluc]

I'm actually type 2 but do not like to attract attention, just want to wear what I like.

[Joak]

Hello, well I'm somewhere between Type 1 and Type 2. I don't really like to attract attention - but if it so, because I wear what I like to wear I can life with that. Well I'm also may be a little reserved, but I well that's me, I'm not very outgoing. But self confident enough to wear some heels outdoor or making speeches... Don't think to much about categories - just do/wear what you like! best wishes Joak PS: I'm about to update my website with some outdoor pictures - hope I'm able to finish this today!

[Firefox]

I'm the same as Highluc. I have no problem with public speaking or organising things if needs be, but I don't particularly enjoy being the center of attention. It doesn't worry me either though. I am full of crap and will talk to anyone for hours about nothing in particular so I never have any problem breaking the ice with someone if I chose to which is useful I suppose.

[Jeff]

I guess I'm also an in-betweenie.. I'm not the kind of guy who likes to be in the middle of all attention. Bit of the quiet type I guess, although that's slowly changing. I don't have a problem with doing a presentation professionaly though.

[xaphod]

Hiya, H, Interesting question. For me it depends on the circumstances and my mood. When I was a teenager 'up north', I had a fairly undecipherable accent. I could barely communicate with this southern lot who seem to think that the northerners are stupid. After lots of selfconscious attempts, I managed to smooth out the pronunciation so people could understand me. (Actually, Beeblebrox, from Sweden, paid me the compliment on UK_heel_2002 that I was very easy to understand.) With the realisation that a perfect 'plum in mouth' accent was neither necessary nor, in most cases, desirable, and when making technical presentations I generally knew as much as the audience, and a hell of a lot more about the specific topic, I realised that I could stand up in front of as many people as necessary and say my piece. As far as 99.9% of people are concerned, I prefer my own company, so when I dress differently, I find the attention I receive unwelcome. In most cases, you will find that it is natural curiosity, with no malice intended. For example, if there is a person with, say, a facial disfigurement, most people will take a second look. I suppose, most of the time, these people get used to being looked at. I bet they wish it didn't happen sometimes, but if they are annoyed they must eventually realise that the vast majority of people are only doing what comes naturally and have no ill intentions. There will be one or two who havn't grown up and will act like children at school who are unmerciless in taunting the fat kid, the short kid or the kid with thick spectacles. These bullies are beneath contempt and are best ignored. Funnily enough, if they start shouting at you in a public place and you say nothing, everybody else turns and looks in their direction. They usually shut up then, because they don't like the attention. There are the bonuses though. Sometimes you will be complimented on your courage to dress as you wish, often by strangers you would least expect. When that happens to me, it makes my day. I've had some very pleasant conversations with total strangers before. This would never have happened if it hadn't been for the hat, the long leather coat and the knee boots outside trousers. Building up your confidence takes time in small progressions you feel comfortable with. Sometime in the future when you dress in the way you want, I guarantee you will enjoy it. Even now, when wearing something outrageous, I get the jitters sometimes, but with an increasing amount of experience behind me, I realise that I'm just being silly. Similarly, my professional work experience has allowed me to read a speech to an audience of 200 general public on a subject I didn't know too much about. I even ballsed a part up where I jumped a line, so I surprised even myself by saying, "I beg your pardon, I'll do that again." Nobody threw any rotten eggs, and I think my performance was better received because I was polite. <font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: xaphod on 2002-03-11 22:09 ]</font>

[Calv]

I am a shy person at heart, although I do not have any problems standing up in front of an audience. I always seem to find myself in the organsier camp, rather than the organised. When wearing heels I always have this feeling at the back of my mind about what "the other person" thinks of me, for daring to be different. Thats my 2 pennyworth anyway.

[Charlie]

I'd say that I drift between type 1 and type 2. Some days I have an abundance of energy and wind up in the center and other days I'm more sluggish and am happy to let someone else take center stage. I'd say 40/60 respectively. Charlie

[MrPonytail1]

I am a Reserved type of person, not wanting to draw much attention to myself. I have only worn heels inside, but not too many times. I receive alot of looks because I am 6'6" tall with long hair that is about down to my waist. I could just see the looks on peoples faces if I was wearing high heels too ! It is a shame that some people are very cruel when it comes to what a person looks like or what they wear. Let's all try to be HAPPY. Thank You <font size=-1>[ This Message was edited by: MrPonytail1 on 2002-03-12 13:01 ]</font>

[jagman]

I'm more with Xaphod (as he's my style guru). People naturally want to stay within the herd (or comfort zone)and this is a perfectly understandable stance. Unfortunatlely some of us are driven by internal desires (what ever the reason) to move to the boundary of the herd. In history, those that remain in the herd have supplied the needed stability but also the stagnation. Those on the boundary (the warriors, the sceptics, the heretics) produce advancement and inovation. This is getting a bit deep and it isn't a crusade, what I'm trying to say is that if you want to wear high heels you will have to stand out in a crowd. And be proud of it!

[terayon]

inside i am fairly shy..but i also love to be the centre of attention, and love to make an ass of myself when im with my friends....but i would not want to wear heels to school, thats for damn sure...people my age are far to close minded to accept something new or wierd...fashion changes super slowly...maybe its just where i live or my school

[Dr. Shoe]

I used to be really shy as a kid and woke up one morning and decided to do something about it. By the time I left school, I was fairly confident buit 12 years in the RAF really made me bold. I quite enjoy being the centre of attention but don't take criticsm very well unless it is: a) Constructive; and Justified.