ClosetHeels Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Let me tell you what happened today... My daughter and I were out shopping today, looking for some plant stakes for our tomatoes. While we were out, my daughter was wearing a long cotton skirt, and was a little windy. She made a comment about the skirt blowing around her ankles. I told her better you than me. She then made a smart remark about not turning into my dad. I let it drop right there. Background on my dad: When I was growing up, he was very angry with me about my wearing heels and women's clothes. He would always say that I was sick, and that something was wrong with me. He would always destroy anything that I had, and would always search my room to see if I had anything. By the time I was in High School he had had enough. He forced me to enlist in the Army, thinking that they could straighten me out. It did, for a little while. After I finished all my training and was assigned to my duty post, I felt the need for heels and hosiery return. I bought a few thing while there, and was extra careful that no one found out. No one ever did. I served five years in the Army, and returned home. He was unaware that I was still into heels, and I kept it that way. I stayed with them for about 2 years, till I could get out on my own. About two years later, I met the woman who would be my wife, and two years after that we had our daughter. Between 1990 and 1994 we lived close to my dad, and he loved his granddaughter. We would get together several times a month. In 1994, the company my wife worked for decided to leave California, and we moved to Kansas City, MO. We were there from 1994 until 2007. We only saw my dad twice in all that time. We went on vacation in 1996 for a week, and saw him for several days. The next time would be in 2004. This is the memory my daughter has of her grandfather. We went to visit him and his new wife (my mother died in 1988). When we got there, she answered the door. We went in, and sat down. My dad was in the bedroom, and his wife called for him. He came out wearing a knee length skirt and no shirt. At this time he was 77 years old, and he looked kind of frail. He told me that the skirt was comfortable, and that he had several that he would wear around the house. We only saw him that one day in 2004. My daughter was disgusted, she thought it was gross for a man to wear a skirt. She was 14 at this time. Now back to today. This memory is what led to her comment about not turning into my dad. And it got me to thinking. I decided now was the time to tell her about my heels and my crossdressing. We ran a couple more errands, came home and fixed dinner. While we were eating, my daughter noticed I was distracted. She asked me what was wrong. I said I was thinking about something that had been bothering me. She wanted to know what it was. I said something about the comment she made about me not turning into my dad wearing a skirt. Now was the time. I said what would you think if it was my dad turning into me? She looked a little confused, and said what do you mean? I just laid it all on the table. I told her about my heels, my crossdressing, everything. She sat there looking at me for a moment, and then said that she knew. At first I was shocked, then relieved. I asked her how long she knew, and she said she knew about it back in Kansas City. She had been snooping around, looking for something, and found where I had kept things hidden. Then after we had moved to Cedar Rapids in 2007, I decided not to hide anything anymore, and kept everything in my closet and my dresser. Because of my heavy snoring and restlessness at night, my wife and I have not slept in the same room for about 10 years. (I was diagnosed with sleep apnea in 2010, and now sleep with a CPAP machine.) We tried to sleep together again, but because of the slight noise the machine makes, the the sound of the air coming out of the mask, I still tend to keep her awake. So we still sleep apart. Back to my daughter. She said she had seen my clothes and shoes in the closet, and said if she saw anything that she liked that fit her, she might have to borrow it. She's mad that she can't wear any of my shoes. She wears and 9 1/2 or a 10, I wear an 11 and sometimes a 12. She said that she's not angry or embarrassed or anything. She knows that this is a part of me, and that's OK with her. Her only request is that when she has friends over, that I keep everything put away. I told her not to worry, I don't want anyone else to know right now. So with her knowing and her acceptance, I feel much better. My wife has known for years, and while she doesn't approve, she also knows that this is a part of my life, and has accepted that she cannot change that. I apologize if I seemed to ramble on there for a bit.
Shafted Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 Glad for you, ClosetHeels! It's always great when one hears such positive disclosure stories concerning their families. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to.
heelguy Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 That was a fantastic story, im so happy for you now that you have the relief of not worrying about your daughter finding out and that she's okay with it, congratulations Heelguy
roniheels Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 I've always said in many posts that honesty is the best policy. And you are a lucky man to have a wife and daughter that understands and accepts you for who you are and your feelings.
docs41 Posted June 1, 2011 Posted June 1, 2011 What a fantastic post. It's amazing how things work out sometimes. Plus, you have a really cool daughter with an open mind. We all should be so fortunate. If the shoe fits-buy it!!!!!!
great2wear Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 It must be wonderful to have the 2-most important ladies in your life, 'in your life completely'!
Dr. Shoe Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 My daughter has always known ever since she was a small child. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
FreshinHeels Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Great post! In the process of becoming the person I always was...but didn't dare to let her come out
heellover21 Posted October 4, 2011 Posted October 4, 2011 Awesome for you. That is great. we should all be so lucky.
SleekHeels Posted October 5, 2011 Posted October 5, 2011 You must be very proud of your daughter. You can't blame her for reacting the way she did at 14, but she's clearly had to deal with the issue from her perspective and she seems to have done that without being afraid to challenge her own preconceptions. That's a wonderful thing to do. When you said "what would you think if it was my dad turning into me?" that's such an interesting question. Do you think his early anger towards your wearing heels might have been self-denial of the same issue that he might have been dealing with before you came along... for a man of his generation perhaps his way of trying to protect you from a familiar turmoil? It's just speculation but perhaps a plausible scenario for others even if not for you. I mean, many of us will be familiar with phases of self-denial and anger towards ourselves until we reconcile the internal/external forces and find peace. Thanks so much for sharing your story. If you like it, wear it.
ChipsHH Posted October 6, 2011 Posted October 6, 2011 Great story indeed. I dream to have this kind of family in the future, but of course, that alone would come with limitations here and there. But as long as the child knows about things early on and learns about it and from it, you're gonna surely have a promising future with 100-percent acceptance from the family, at least. It's stories like this that keeps me going with my heeling~ Formally "HHDude"
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