Julietta Posted February 13, 2003 Posted February 13, 2003 Hello to all For those of you that have read any of my postings, I have from time to time mentioned and posted pictures relating to my best friend, who like you guys likes to wear heels, painted nails and nylons. A while ago I posted in answer to the thread entitled "What do women think of men in heels?", which led to quite a discussion where I used my friend and his girlfriend as an example. Unfortunately my friends girlfriend, to coin his phrase, "dumped him" giving his cross dressing habits as her main reason. After going through his heartbreak, and even thinking that he would indeed have to change if he were to live a "normal" life, he has decided to gradually out himself and just try to be himself. So we decided that we would do this one step at a time (excuse the pun) and record these events Laurie style for you all to see, comment on and hopefully support in his strive to free himself. So here we are in week 1. Last Friday my best friend told me that he wanted to meet up with me and wear his courts in public but to maybe keep it low key, somewhere quietish - the cinema! I thought about it and after saying that he had to at least walk around a few shops or something in a lighted area, suggested a place that not only has a cinema, is very quiet and has a few outlet shops that are open until 8pm. He cringing agreed and last night we went. We sat in the carpark of this complex while he tried on my Red or Dead black steel heeled stilettos (as pictured in my shoe diary), which with his red painted toes and nyloned feet looked fab. He wouldn't go out in them though (shame), but easy does it. Anyway it seems that he has been suppressed so long about all this that he didn't have the courage to don his courts but he had brought along a flat pair of textile loafer style female shoes. Before he could change his mind about that I grabbed his arm and we headed off to the shopping area. He looked cute really, like a baby taking his first steps. He was walking as though he were on egg shells, as though every step was an effort. After about 10 minutes he realised that it wasn't such a big deal and I delighted in the fact that his stride quickened and was more assertive. We went and had something to eat. Spoke about how he would like to really be and how we would gradually achieve this. After we ate we went to see Chicago. When he took me back to my car he changed into his courts and walked me to my car. Next time he wants to wear the courts and we are going on a shoe and boot trying on expedition and even a few cosmetic purchases for him to achieve the a la Eddie Ezzard style, which is his eventual aim. I am so proud of him. He has been so supressed and made to believe that he is abnormal, and I know to all you advanced heel wearing guys this may seem tame, but believe me this for him is a huge step forward. Watch this space for more relevations. Love to all Julie and Polishuser 2002 Let calm be widespread May the sea glisten like greenstone And the shimmer of summer Dance across your pathway "Communication is a two way thing"
Francis Posted February 13, 2003 Posted February 13, 2003 Well, he certainly came to the right place Maybe he might feel a little more comfortable if he were to come on one of our meetings, but in the meantime, if you or he require some extra input to help him find himself then don't hesitate, ask away. We're here to help wherever possible
Highluc Posted February 13, 2003 Posted February 13, 2003 Wow Julietta, quite an interesting experiment and glad you want to share the progresses as they happen with us. Hopefully it will encourage some more reserved readers to take the big step as well. I wish I had a (girl)friend like you a few decades ago (or even now as well). Keep up the good charity work, bye, Luc Be youself, enjoy any footwear you like and don't care about what others think about it, it's your life, not theirs. Greetings from Laurence
Yamyam Posted February 13, 2003 Posted February 13, 2003 Well done, both of you! Which outllet place were you at? If it's the one I'm thinking of, in Hertfordshire, then I may be able to meet you two there. In heels, of course. Obsessed is such a strong word. I prefer to think of myself as "differently enthusiastic"
Julietta Posted February 14, 2003 Author Posted February 14, 2003 Yamyam hi, It was the Galleria in Hatfield. I think it would be nice to meet up and would be a great confidence boost for my friend but will have to ask him first. It would also make for a good diary posting as there are a few shoe shops there we could send the shop assistants into a spin trying shoes and boots on en mass. Anyone else want to come? Let calm be widespread May the sea glisten like greenstone And the shimmer of summer Dance across your pathway "Communication is a two way thing"
Yamyam Posted February 14, 2003 Posted February 14, 2003 Yamyam hi, It was the Galleria in Hatfield. I think it would be nice to meet up and would be a great confidence boost for my friend but will have to ask him first. Thought so... I was there on Monday checking out shoes. I'd be happy to meet up there on a Sunday lunch or something. How's early March with you all? Seeing as I can't make SH's Nottingham Saturday. Please ask your friend - I know how much meeting FireFox helped me! Obsessed is such a strong word. I prefer to think of myself as "differently enthusiastic"
Julietta Posted February 17, 2003 Author Posted February 17, 2003 Ok that would be good. We'll get our heads together and sort something out then. Will look forward to it and so will my friend - won't you polishuser 2002? Suzyheels how about you too? Julie xx Let calm be widespread May the sea glisten like greenstone And the shimmer of summer Dance across your pathway "Communication is a two way thing"
Suzyheels Posted February 17, 2003 Posted February 17, 2003 I would love the idea! Things are really hectic for me through to April or after Easter...Then its HOLIDAY TIME in Holland. But keep me posted. The idea of the en-mass shoe shoppers thrills me! Suzy Love seeketh not itself to please, Nor for itself hath any care; But for another gives its ease, And builds a Heaven in Hell's despair.
Dockbay94 Posted February 21, 2003 Posted February 21, 2003 Cool expirience...I wish I knew people that could help me get comfortable with heelsin public...can anyone giv me any advice?
sohoboot Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 find a pair of modest heels either made out of rubber or with a rubber tip in a fairly masculine style. This is the pair I used to break myself in... I literally had to spell out to my best friend what they were when I showed him because he couldn't tell (we had spent the night out while I was in him and he didn't notice... when we got back, I point blank showed him and he still couldn't tell) They make absolutely no noise and look masculine enough that nobody will notice even if you're paranoid. After I built up a little confidence with something like them, I started going with more obvious heels (but still someone masculine looking overall - no pointy toes and the heel still covered). I've gone out in noisy ones a couple times but am still paranoid despite nobody paying attention to the sound... Still working on that. I've now done 4.75" heels with nobody noticing, usually including even my friends that know about it. I've found that people are simply too self absorbed to care... Men generally don't look down and if they do, it's probably because they too have an interest in footwear. They usually won't say anything, probably because you're not afraid to let your secret out. Women might look down but you'll find that the vast majority find it something to chat about with you. I'm in the middle of a very conservative town and nobody's ever freaked, even some of my friends that I expected to. Sure, I've answered a lot of questions about them, but it's more of them being curious because you're doing something unique. A lot more people will respect you for being yourself than will mock you for being different.
loveheel Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 Hello Sohoboot, These look perfect for breaking someone in. Nothing about these shoes that indicates they are women's. Just goes to show that women can buy and wear shoes that look just like men's shoes (and often ARE men's shoes). I have also observed that few people notice what you wear. It is often the other aspects of you clothing that are first observed. When I wear pants with a wide flare I attract a lot more attention then wear I wear boots with 4" heels.
Francis Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 Sohoboot, they look more like riggers boots which would be a reason why they are overlooked, plus the outward appearance with thicker treads gives them a workmanlike style. So anyone looking would think "Ah, heavy manual worker" and then think no more A bit harder to get away with a 4inch heel variation though, but as you've noticed most people don't look or don't care
Firefox Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 Count me in for the Galleria, it's only 20 mins drive from where I live so no problem. We have had a bit of a shoe shop trip there before too, but it's not brilliant. Still there are a few places and TK Max is always worth a look
squirrelheels Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 I would sincerely hope I'd never see a woman wearing those boots. They're too manly for a woman to wear! Heels or not, those are guys boots! I would never have problems wearing those in public, no matter where I was going! (Unless it was to a really posh do, or something! Then perhaps not the right style...) My sister said the same thing about my 3in loafers. She said she'd never want to wear them because they look too male! SH Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
sohoboot Posted February 22, 2003 Posted February 22, 2003 it's precisely because they're so male looking that made it easy for me to get comfortable wearing them out. Everyone knows that if you act paranoid, people will be suspicious. Once I got used to wearing them out, my choices started getting somewhat more feminine looking. I'm comfortable wearing just about anything out now, as long as they don't make noise - still working on that, like you are
squirrelheels Posted February 23, 2003 Posted February 23, 2003 Yeah, I almost made it out in noisy heels again today, but didn't... Ah well! Next week! Honest! SH Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
azraelle Posted February 23, 2003 Posted February 23, 2003 I've seen men's steel-toe logger's, or for that matter lineman's boots with heels at least twice that high! And the most gawdawful uncomfortable boots imaginable! leather thick and flexless enough to make a saddle out of...which is just one more reason I prefer the "dainty" thin leather and sole women's styles. There isn't a bit of difference between a man's and a woman's foot, so why is it decreed in heaven that a man shall wear inflexible clodhoppers and women get to wear work shoes and boots made out of kid leather?? "All that you can decide, is what to do with the time that is given you."--Gandalf, "Life is not tried, it is merely survived -If you're standing outside the fire."--Garth Brooks
Julietta Posted February 24, 2003 Author Posted February 24, 2003 Sohoboot as a female I definately wouldn't wear them as they are way too masculine so I guess they are the perfect things to wear out until you gain more confidence. If I saw a guy out in those I wouldn't bat an eye. They look like heavy metal rocker boots really nice with jeans Firefox Hi, would be nice for us all to meet up there and would be great for my friend to meet others like you so that he doesn't feel so isolated. Can't wait. Love to you all Julietta xxx Let calm be widespread May the sea glisten like greenstone And the shimmer of summer Dance across your pathway "Communication is a two way thing"
Firefox Posted February 24, 2003 Posted February 24, 2003 OK, cool Julietta. We do other meetings in London area and all over too as you probaly saw from the other forum. Drinks, shops and eats, we've even taken in the odd art Gallery. All welcome!
squirrelheels Posted February 24, 2003 Posted February 24, 2003 Ahh to live in or near London... mind you, there are plenty of benifits of NOT living in London! Now Germany... that would be fun! Freedom on the autobarns! Yay! Dunno what the heeling is like over there though... I'm not sure I could cope with the language though! I'm not really a foreign language guy...! SH Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
Yamyam Posted February 25, 2003 Posted February 25, 2003 Some of the autobahn network is really badly smashed up. I co-drove to Austria in January, and some of the German roads were quite bumpy, even in my brother's Audi limo. There didn't seem to be many people in heels in Germany and Austria, not that we stopped that much. But just about everyone we bumped into in Germany spoke good English. My brother and I decided that I'd do French and he'd do German. So I spent a couple of days wrestling with French. When we crossed the border into Germany, he just spoke English most of the time and got away with it grrr... And there are huge benefits to not living in London, such as no congestion charge, reasonable house prices, no problems with essential workers being squeezed out, and so on Oh, and low commute times. I managed to chafe off some people today because I live three miles away from my office, so my commute is about fifteen minutes. I know people who commute 4 hours a day! Obsessed is such a strong word. I prefer to think of myself as "differently enthusiastic"
squirrelheels Posted February 25, 2003 Posted February 25, 2003 That's true... Unlike the arrogant English, the Germans make a point of learning English from a really early age, as, after all, it is the most commonly used language in the world. And basically you have to know it or you're screwed, unless you plan on living in a cocoon! Apparently the French highways are good... not very busy at all, and easy to get up to high speeds on! (This is according to my youth leader, who drove there in his Saab for a skiing holiday, oooh that's a nice car!). He said he would have tried to go up to the car's max speed, 135mph, but he said with so many bends in the road, it could have been quite tricky, and dangerous too! Yeah, I like Nottingham - not too big, and not too small! Just the right size! And price too...! Baby bear's porridge was just the right temperature...! SH Hi! I'm a signature virus! Copy me into your sig and help me spread!
Bubba136 Posted February 25, 2003 Posted February 25, 2003 SH commented: Now Germany... that would be fun! Ask Joak. He's from Germany and wears heels in public. Check out his website. (the address is posted elsewhere on this forum) Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
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