mlroseplant

I have just had an interesting conversation, or "chat" rather, with a 15 year old girl from Vietnam. She is the younger cousin of one of my dearest friends, who also lives in Vietnam. My friend introduced me to the young cousin because it seemed a good way for her to practice English with a native speaker. At the time, the cousin was 12 years old. Now she is 15, and will start high school within the next few weeks.

In Vietnam, they still use uniforms, as in many parts of the world. On Mondays, they are required to wear the aó dài, or "long shirt," which is a long dress cut on the bias with pants underneath, so iconic in Vietnam. I've often said that the reason this dress caught on in Vietnam is because it's the only dress you can comfortably ride a motorbike in!

This young girl was fretting over going to the tailor and having an aó dài made. Suddenly, she asked me, "Should I wear high heels?" I answered, "Of course you should wear high heels. But not too high, I'm thinking 4-5 cm for now." It then came out that she does actually own a pair of high heels already, purchased for a family member's wedding, and they hurt her feet badly. This started a long conversation about fit and how you can wear high heels comfortably, and eventually, why I knew so much about the subject. So I had to spill the beans.

She seemed surprised about my footwear proclivities at first--"I think things are more open in the U.S," but then became excited. "How can I wear 12 cm shoes like you? I think I will fall down!" I told her it took me about 4 years to become comfortable wearing 12 cm heels (sorry, I'm speaking "metric" for the sake of my non-U.S. friends--about 5 inches or so). I told her that she could do it too, someday, if she wanted. So tomorrow, she is going to the tailor to have her aó dài made, but first she wants to buy some 5 cm wedges, at my suggestion, to wear with it. I told her to make sure there was enough room for her toes, so she could wear them all day.

I feel honored to help my younger friends on their way toward figuring out who they are, I sure remember the angst of not knowing. Good luck to her!

Oh. Wow. Now I'm looking around my own house. While it's not nearly as extreme as what you described, I see that we need to get rid of a lot of junk!

How did you manage to leave gracefully?

1 hour ago, Cali said:

mlroseplant do you also have high arches?

I don't want to step on Jeff's thread too much, but no, I don't have particularly high arches. I don't have flat feet by any stretch of the imagination, I suppose I'm about average. 

1 hour ago, jeremy1986 said:

Cant see what heels those are

 

I'll  help you out. They are BCBG beaded wooden mules, model name Bonny. I've included a better photo (recycled from a previous post). 

We had a rather eclectic bunch over last night, ranging from a world class classical pianist with a doctorate degree to a heavily tattooed, rough-looking concrete finisher. A good time was had by all! It kind of gives me hope for American culture.

Nobody said anything about my clothing or shoes except for my shoe buddy and best friend, "Baby Benji's" mother, who, by the way, was also wearing shorts and heels.

I find it interesting that strangers like to take pictures of me, but many times my friends do not. I don't know if it's a conscious thing, but there is a dearth of pictures of me, certainly from the knees down. However, this one snuck in there somehow from last night's U.S. Independence Day party. I am standing with "Baby Benji," who does not really like to be called that anymore, now that he's 6.

6 hours ago, Shyheels said:

In Australia and England we use stones pretty much only for body weight - as in I weight a too-comfortable 13st 6! It's really pretty easy to reckon.

The only reason why I am comfortable with stone as a unit of body weight is because I've read a ton of British murder mysteries and police procedurals! I definitely try to keep under 10 stone.

2 hours ago, JeffB said:

Meanwhile, I'm going to see about adding more jewelry, namely necklaces and especially earrings as I'm now hooked on them and don't feel dressed without them.

I am fascinated to see that you made such a rapid conversion to earrings. I think it was within one outing of trying them! Does this mean that you are reconsidering having your ears pierced?

On a completely different note, since nzfreestyler dredged up a picture from the past, I suddenly noticed that your pose hasn't changed much in at least 7 years. Specifically, how you present yourself with legs spread wide apart. As you may or may not know, I use younger Vietnamese women as my guide as to how to refine my look, as far as I'm willing to go. I guess that's why you see me in shorts and heels a lot in the summer. That's definitely much more of a "look" over there than it is here. But along with that, one of the things I noticed as I saw pictures of me with my friends, is that Vietnamese females always present themselves with feet planted firmly together and pointed straight ahead, even if they are bowlegged, which is a malady I suffer from.

Given your attention to detail, I am curious if your posing was carefully thought out, and if you have experimented with different body positioning, both in photos and in real life.

For reference, I tend to stand in a sort of modified Third Position ballet stance, in an attempt to disguise the fact that I'm bowlegged. It may be that I look ridiculous doing that. 

"Hurt" is really such a vague term. There is hurt, and then there's HURT. People ask me this all the time, as well. "Don't those hurt?" If they want to take the time to listen, which they usually don't, I'll tell them that it's a little bit like doing an athletic activity. If you play three sets of tennis, you're probably going to hurt a little bit afterwards. If you do an hour's worth of weightlifting in the gym, you will hurt afterwards. But it's the kind of achy, muscular hurt that will eventually make you stronger. That's the kind of hurt I experience 99.9% of the time when wearing heels these days. When most women say that heels hurt them, I believe they are genuinely talking about something else altogether, something else more intensely painful and potentially damaging to their feet. Part of it, I have come to believe, is just genetic. Some people just can't wear heels. Other people it seems, and this number is very few, can wear heels with abandon naturally without really working at it. Most of us fall somewhere in between. I have worked hard at it. I didn't get to where I am right now by accident. Let me tell you a story:

About five years ago, when I was just starting to wear heels in public, I marched myself into a Kohl's (lower end department store), and found me a pair of Vera Wang (low end "Simply Vera" line) ankle boots that I found very attractive. They had 5 inch heels, and about 1 inch platforms, and were not quite stiletto thin, but slim heels. At the time, that was a ridiculously high heel for me, but I was rather pleased with how easily I could walk in them, so I wore them to the large shopping mall across the way to take care of some business with my mobile phone account. The distance I had to walk was not far by today's standards for me, but I bet all in all it was about a mile. That was not my biggest problem. The biggest problem was that the mobile phone store was super crowded, and I had to wait a long time to be served, then wait some more while they fixed my problem. That took about an hour. An hour of standing in those new boots. Then having to walk half a mile back to the car. I thought I was going to DIE! My feet hurt soooo bad, and not in a good, achy way. It was more like what most women describe when they bitch about wearing heels, are my feet ever going to be the same? Have I done some permanent damage here? I began to despair that it was even possible to wear heels all day, every day for mere mortals.

Fast forward several years, hundred of miles and hours of progressively more ambitious shoes, and those same boots (well not the exact same ones, but the same model) carried me easily all day when we visited the Omaha Zoo with no searing pain whatsoever. They are quite a comfortable boot, and I could wear them practically anywhere now, even if I have to stand for a long period of time. Do my feet feel tired at the end of the day? Of course they do, people who wear only flats complain about this all the time. But it's an almost enjoyable feeling, knowing I have spent the entire day in heels, which for some odd reason just makes me feel very happy. Most people can't understand that. I guess it's why I stay around here and continue posting.

I have not been excited about "low" heels for many years, but I am terribly excited about these shoes.

First, a little background. Due to need at our church created by some unfortunate circumstances, I have decided to take a serious stab at learning to play the pipe organ well enough so that I can substitute if our regular organist is gone. Right now, we have no backup organist. 

At first, I was reluctant to buy organ shoes, and was just playing barefoot. I thought that was working ok, but after talking with people, I decided I was serious enough to invest in the specialty shoes of the trade. Most people use Organ Master brand, but I absolutely hated the style of the men's shoes, and wasn't real fond of the women's styles either. Then I found this company called Tic Tac Toes, which is actually a dance shoe company, but they also make a line of specialty organ shoes as well. They offered a "women's" Oxford style that was acceptable to me, and they are made in the USA. Sold! I ordered my usual USW size 9, and waited. 

When they arrived, I could see that they really are a specialty shoe, designed ONLY for playing the organ. The soles and heels are made of very soft suede leather, and the soles are almost ridiculously thin and flexible, so you can feel the pedals through them. They slide very easily along the pedalboard, unlike my bare feet. If you were to ever wear them outside, they would be ruined almost instantly. I carry them in a bag with my music when I go to practice (arriving in REAL heels, of course!).

I guess those organists know what they're doing. After half an hour of getting used to them, my pedaling technique had improved so much, it was like I had practiced every day for a month. Suddenly, stuff that I had struggled with before was actually kind of easy. Suddenly I thought, "Yes, maybe I CAN do this after all." 

Don't get me wrong, it hasn't improved my BRAIN any, my poor brain still has trouble processing two hands PLUS feet simultaneously, but now at least my equipment, or lack thereof, is not impeding my progress.

1 hour ago, w6ish said:

i too, prefer super short and super tight shorts.  you need to keep your legs tuned up for that look!

Legs have never been my problem. It's right above the waistband that's the problem! And maybe for you too, my friend. When you get to be our age, remaining stick-thin isn't as easy as it used to be! If I'd just give up my beer, that would probably help a lot. But a fellow has to have priorities!

4 hours ago, Gudulitooo said:

I thought you americans had to measure in cm and convert to feet and inches each time ? 

What a nice idea to have a rule directly markerd with graduations in inches !

 

Heh, heh, the USA is a bit of a mystery to the rest of the world, isn't it? You almost cannot buy a metric tape measure here. All of those skyscrapers and factories that come out of the ground, almost magically? Designed and built in feet and inches--still to this day. I was on a job once, which was a Barilla pasta plant, with a sister facility in Italy, that almost required that I go out and find a metric tape measure. It took some searching! Scientific fields and automotive have gone completely to metric, but that's about it. Why, I don't know. Feet and inches, pounds and ounces, are a pain in the neck, but Americans are stubborn!

I rather like the shorts, myself. I'm all about the shorts!

21 hours ago, Thighbootguy said:

Also note that the heel tip on the taller shoe is flared.  When it comes time to replace the tips on the lower pair, I recommend having the tips flared as it extends the life of the hip at least 50%.

That is a replacement heel tip, put on by my cobbler, and I wish it were flared--that would be preferable to what is there. It is actually just slightly oversized, and I have decided that I don't like it. It may well last longer, but it just looks odd and slightly ugly to me.

17 hours ago, Cali said:

It looks like the black is rotated clockwise slightly. Try putting a quarter or two below the black tip and retake the photo.

The reason they are different is because they come of two slight different assembly lines using different raw materials.

I shall have to more carefully compare both pairs to each other, but you're right--it does look like the black shoe's heel is a little too short for the angle of the shoe. Or, it may be that the brown shoe's heel is really slightly too tall. I'll let you know.

Dredging back up an old topic, I have some new news on the subject! I have a wonderful pair of Vera Wang loafer style pumps from the "Lavender" collection, model name Talli.  Evidently, Yuja Wang is not yet marketing her own line of shoes, so Vera will have to do for now. I had mentioned elsewhere on this forum that I had a bit of a snafu wearing these quite attractive shoes because the steepness of them is right about at the limit of what I can walk in and not look ridiculous. However, I got myself into a situation where I was standing or walking continuously for several hours, and the muscles in my feet and ankles became quite fatigued, causing some awkward moments.

At any rate, the shoes themselves are comfortable enough, it's just that I need to work my way up to them so I can last more than an hour or two. It just so happens that I saw a pair of the same model shoes, barely worn, in plain black (my favorite) for about 40 USD. Just for reference, new at full retail, they were about 300 USD, which seems a tad overpriced, but they are Italian made, full leather all around, including the soles.

When my "new" shoes arrived, they were exactly what I expected, right down to the fact that I knew I'd have to use the shoe stretcher on them to widen the toe box just a tad. Except there was one surprise--the heels on the new black shoes were noticeably lower than the heels on my brown croc-print shoes--just a tad over 5", vs. just a tad under 5 3/8" (both figures translate to right around 13 cm). Same model, same size, non-Chinese, different heel. I don't get it.

I am not really complaining. They still look wonderful, and as it turns out, that 5/16 of an inch or so makes a big difference for me. The new ones are noticeably easier to walk in. I cannot yet attest to how I will feel after several hours, but given my past experience, they will be fine for several hours, if not all day.

Compare and contrast the two pairs: Remember, identical model, identical size, identical fit, Italian made, the only difference is the color (and of course the heel height).

1 hour ago, JeffB said:

By the by, speaking of comfort, I read about a fix on the internet that's supposed to help wearing heels easier and less excruciating. It's said that if you tape the third and fourth toes together, preferably with medical tape, or, in a pinch, scotch tape, that helps alleviate the pain from wearing heels, especially enclosed shoes like pumps. I don't know if you've heard of this, but it sounds intriguing. The next time I wear pumps, I'll give it a try.

This actually works somewhat if your pain comes from some kind of pinched nerve. I used this trick with my work boots when I was having such a problem with pain in the balls of my feet. Naturally, I used electrical tape.

I rarely have this kind of pain from wearing heels. My pain usually comes from muscular fatigue, usually when I get too ambitious with the heel height for a given circumstance. In that circumstance, no amount of taping anything is going to help much. 

On 6/18/2017 at 1:42 AM, Histiletto said:

Hey mlroseplant,

I have to ask for clarification, did you include the platform thickness of 1 3/8" in the total of your gained height of 3 3/4"? If so, the actual gain from the platform surface level is 2 3/8". This means the relative height of the heel is 4 1/4".

I kind of wish the sloping angle of the sole was noted in the sizing info, instead of the height of the heel. This way the heel height would be dependent on the design of the slope and therefore have the same relative look, no matter what the size is. When I see a display of a 4" heel that is a size 6 and I like the total look: I don't want to get the featured shoe with a 4" heel in a size 12. To me this is not the same style of heels that was sold to me in the ad display, for the heel height should have reached at least 5 to 5.5" in the size 12 .

Yes, I included the platform thickness, as I was wanting to see how much taller I really was with these giant heels! So yes, you're right, I'm only gaining about 2 3/8" from the actual steepness of the shoe (remember, I'm a USW size 9). So I get 1 3/8" for free, and I have to work for the rest.

My general feeling is that in my size with single soled shoes 4 inches and higher, I gain approximately 3 inches in height, regardless of how steep the shoe is. I say 3 inches because the "platform" on single soled shoes is never quite zero. There is always the thickness of the actual sole and whatever liner there may be, and that might well give you an extra half inch.

I'd wear that! Great casual outfit!

2 hours ago, maninboots said:

Sorry it probably didn't come across as i wanted it to, i just basically meant that as a man i am covered in body hair and personally have no desire to remove it, I'll wear any style of male or female clothing along with high heeled boots or shoes but don't feel i have to alter my appearance in doing so, sorry if I've been misinterpreted or offended anybody 

I was pretty sure that I knew what you meant the first time, but I just had to poke you in the ribs a little bit! I did try to resist, but my baser side won out in the end.

I guess the problem with the whole concept is that what is considered "normal" and what is not normal is so artificial anyway. Most modern Westerners (male or female) prefer it if women shave their legs. It just looks better. Why is this? It certainly wasn't always this way, and isn't this way everywhere in the world. I am certainly not immune from my cultural bias, I buy into it also. Shaved legs just look better to me. I figure what's good for the goose is good for the gander. But then, most ganders do not wear shorts as short and as tight as I do, so go figure.

Don't worry about it brother, I was winding you up a bit.

50 minutes ago, tomham said:

Hello Jura,

 

I really like the photos you have posted and I hope you had a great time in Germany. Could you please send me some of the 'bravery pills'?

 

Tom

Tom, I wish I could send you some "bravery pills," but I can't. It took me about 4 years before I was truly comfortable being out in heels all the time. The first time out in heels is a big step, but it is one of many steps in the journey. 

Jura certainly made a bold statement with his outfit, and for that I applaud him. It's not my style, but I have been down the same exact road as him, wondering if I can wear what I want, and whether people will accept it.

You too, will go down that same road. I recommend taking it slowly, step by step, and you will gain confidence. I will admit, even now, there are some days I don't have the energy to be confident enough to wear what I really want in all situations, but it brings some balance to one's life. 

2 hours ago, maninboots said:

I never shave any part of my body except my face, i am very fair haired so probably not that noticeable on my legs and thick denier tights usually takes care of that but I am a man, wish to remain a man regardless of outfit or shoes i choose to wear and part and parcel of being a man is body hair 

I am disillusioned. I had been clinging to the belief that the measure of a man is how he conducts himself, and how he treats his fellow human beings. 

Like Esau, I am an hairy man. I won't be able to claim I can grow a beard in a day, but two weeks is certainly not out of the question. I need to shave my legs three times a week for best results, but it often doesn't get done. In fact, I wore long pants today because I didn't get round to shaving my legs, despite the heat. 

I also have to constantly pluck or cut my nose hair and ear hair. I only wish all this damn hair would have stayed on my head!

Yes, a few months ago, we had this same discussion about how much taller one actually stands when wearing high heels, and I took a few measurements, using a framing square against the wall to measure my height in various heels that I own. 

What I discovered was, in my highest heels, 5 5/8" (14+ cm) with 1 3/8" (3.5 cm) platform, I gained only 3 3/4" (9.5 cm) in height. Really, there wasn't that much difference with lower heels. Higher than 3 1/2" (9 cm), you just don't gain much in actual height, compared to the heel height. 

18 hours ago, MackyHeels said:

Wouldn't that give you blisters? When i wore new booties Rag & bone harrows black leather i forgot my ankle socks decided to go barefoot. Found my foot was getting warm even perspiring a tad so it was bit humid with my foot encapsulated in tight fitted booties.  Only few hours i felt pain along my small toes and back heel blisters for sure. Once i took them off i could see the damage where the bootie fit all to snug. Took weeks for the blisters to heel and months for red scarring to fade away.  

Find it very risky to stretch your heels using your foot as the tool. Last thing you want is blemished feet all season healing exposing them wearing open toe sandals. 

It depends on how tight the shoes are to begin with. I certainly wouldn't suggest going for a two mile walk using the Steve Method. It's definitely best to relax and read a book or do housework or something, a combination of sitting and standing with very spare walking. I am wary of using a mechanical stretcher with sandals that delicate because I've broken straps before, and that's just a bummer. They work great for sturdier sandals or regular shoes, but that one little band of leather just doesn't take too much torture.

I hear you about the blisters, but I have managed to avoid blisters for years. Well, except for when I burned my hand on a hot drill bit a couple months ago, but that has nothing to do with shoes! I always carry a Band-Aid (sticking plaster) with me for such emergencies, and I'm very careful about what shoes I'm wearing if I'm going to be out very long. It's tempting to wear new shoes out, because we're so excited about them, but quite inadvisable until they become a known quantity.

I'm sure everyone knows how I feel about wearing hosiery with sandals, but using the Steve Method is the ONE time I would agree with Steve himself that's it's OK to wear hosiery with your sandals! Wink, wink, nudge, nudge.

Those do look rather nice on you, Steve. I'm glad you were able to find something that works.

I am surprised that you need a tall in size 18, as you are not super tall or anything, but the proof is in the picture! A little extra length would in fact be desirable if you were wearing higher heels. 

My body must be super weird. I don't think my legs look that out of proportion with the rest of me, but evidently they are very short! At 5'5", or 165 cm, I generally take a size 4P, and 95% of the time (100% of the time for straight or skinny styles) I still have to have the pants shortened. Luckily, my best friend (and shoe buddy) is a tailor!

Thank you for sharing, Steve! If you don't mind my asking, what are those jeans worth, anyway (before the 30% discount)?

I had a close call yesterday. I got these Charles by Charles David wedges a couple of months ago, and as the weather has gotten quite warm as of late, I have been adding them to my rotation. I don’t necessarily love them, but they’re attractive enough I guess. They’re real leather, but not exactly super high quality leather. They’re comfortable. They have a 5 inch heel with a 1 3/8” platform. They’re just solid, casual sandals.

I’ve worn them out several times with no problem, but yesterday I ran into a big problem. I needed to pay a couple of bills locally, so I got into my car with a couple of checks and invoice stubs to take them where they needed to go. It was very hot yesterday, and the inside of my car was super hot, I was burning my legs on the seat, and that sort of thing. My first destination was just a few minutes from my house, so the air conditioner didn’t get a chance to cool down the car much.

I stepped out of the car, and my feet were so sweaty that my right sandal just would not stay on. My foot kept slipping out of it. Luckily, I only had to walk about 50 feet to get inside the building, and maybe another 20 feet once I was inside. I didn’t think I was going to make it back to my car without having to remove my shoes, it was that bad. I literally had to walk about 1/4 speed to keep my shoes on my feet. Naturally, there was some guy pulling up behind me in his car at the very moment I walked back out to the street to get back in my car. Oh well. Hopefully, he didn’t notice.

When I arrived at my next destination, I took a Kleenex (the only thing I had available) and wiped the tops of my feet dry, as well as the undersides of the straps on the sandals, and I had no trouble at all after that. However, that spooked me. I’ve never had this kind of trouble before with any sandal, or certainly not to that extreme extent. I’m a little bit afraid to wear these out again unless it’s under 90 degrees.