SleekHeels

I have been getting used to the shoes I bought .Wear them every other day around the house for 2 hrs. I am much better but not ready to go out in public.

That's a good strategy, if you wore them more frequently and for longer than you feel comfortable, you'd only get tired and practice bad habits. I guess it's a bit like learning a musical instrument. It sounds like you're building a good foundation, I'm glad you're feeling the progress you're making and it's just a matter if time before you feel ready to go out in public.

When I do my challenge will be to go out to a nice place for dinnerwith only my heels..  If I bring my regular shoes I might change my mind.

I think that can work both ways. Sometimes it can make it too intimidating to step out in heels when you don't have the safety net of a backup pair of flats. Other times the thrill of not having that safety net gives you that extra push you need to take that step.

I feel a poll coming on... http://www.hhplace.org/topic/22566-backup-shoes-do-they-help-or-hinder-you-stepping-out-in-heels/

Does it help you or hold you back from stepping out in heels if you have some backup shoes with you?

I think that having the safety net of a pair of backup shoes helped me when I first started stepping out in public in heels. Having said that, the first few times I walked around the block I never carried backup shoes with me, but having a backup definitely gave me the confidence to wear my heels further afield.

Even today I feel  comfortable wearing my heels out and about, but I do tend to have a pair of flats with me because I wear them to walk long distances and then change into my heels when I won't be walking around so far. If nothing else, you never know when a heel might break.... that's never happened to me, although I once had the upper come loose from a pair of mule wedge sandals, and it was a relief to walk the 200 metres or so back and change into my flats.

Cauldron

I thought the article said "women" a conspicuously high number of times (and then suddenly switched to "you" for the "Buying High Heels on eBay" part). Like ILK I didn't feel "shunned" or bothered at all at being excluded as a man, but even if they switched to a gender-neutral term like "wearer" it would still seem over-used throughout the article. However, I thought the overuse of the word "women" was sexist in that it came across as very pushy as defining women by high heels. As a guy nobody tells me to wear heels (quite the opposite in fact), I wear them because I like them and enjoy wearing them, and it should be no different for women.

As an aside, I broadly agree with ILK's statement that most women would rather buy shoes in a store while most heel-wearing men prefer to buy their heels online. However, while I do adopt the male strategy of "get what I came for and get out of there as prompt as possible" for many things, when it comes to heels I kind of enjoy the "adventure". I sometimes try on heels I was craving for only to find that they don't look or feel nearly as good as I'd hoped, and other times try on the most unlikely heels and I'm pleasantly surprised that they look better on my feet than they did on the shelf. Personally I buy almost all my heels in store, and the only time I order online is if I can't find my size in store but I've maybe tried the same style in another colour and the fit's good. Now if that's shopping "like a woman" I'm happy with that.... come to think of it I browse for power tools in a hardware store the same way!

Womack

That sounds like some helpful sales assistants and a positive shopping experience that could inspire others, thanks for sharing. From the pictures I think I prefer the styling of the Newbee more than the Galleryy (not just the heel height but the overall styling), but it's funny how that can turn around when you actually try them on. It sounds like the Newbee 9's should break in nicely for you, but maybe for the Galleryy the 9.5's with gel inserts in the front might be an option? My only reservation with that is the Galleryy's look like they have a pretty low-cut vamp already and gel inserts might exaggerate that even more.

Love the ankle boots.

I'll echo that, they're very stylish, if I had those boots I'd be wearing them all through the autumn and winter too. They'd look fantastic with a grey smart trouser suit, and work equally well with bootcut jeans. It's good that you took the picture without trousers as it's nice to see the whole boot, but I must admit that personally I'm very reluctant to wear an ankle-boot style with anything other than long trousers. It's not that I think they can't look good any other way, they certainly can but I think it needs pretty amazing legs to pull it off. However you wear yours, enjoy them.

I wish there was some explanation outside of ' they decided to become a pair of assholes '. Thats the only conclusion I can come up with.

I think with people who live an "unconventional" lifestyle (just like guys wearing heels) there's an element of a "stuff what anyone else thinks" attitude. While that can be a healthy antidote towards prejudice, it can also be self-destructive when it erodes any sense of empathy with other people, and it just becomes a hedonistic addiction to shocking others. Modern society doesn't really seem  conducive to aspiring to find that balance, so a lot of people don't bother trying. That's the best explanation I can offer.

Compels

Well done TimAudra. To wear 4" strappy sandals seems like quite a bold choice for a first-timer, so how did you arrive at that choice? I'm thinking that many people would prefer more "stealthy" wedge boots hidden under long jeans. Personally I think if it's the height of summer then stealthy boots would look far more "odd", but if lots of people are wearing sandals then your choice fits in a lot better. In any case, it sounds like your first experience has given you confidence for your future outings, we'll look forward to hearing about them.

Reading that, my thoughts are that some people expect to be tolerated as their basic right, to the point that showing appreciation for tolerance would be an acknowledgement that tolerance is optional, so they don't appreciate a thing. And then when people around them seem to tolerate them, they're lost without that grudge towards society, so they go to greater extremes to try to shock people (and then judge them for being shocked) just so they can keep that grudge alive. Fine if that's how they choose to live their lives, they'll lose the friends they deserve to lose and keep the friends they deserve to keep.

I think there's also a parallel to how some guys feel about wearing heels, always with some grudge against society for not accepting it, but maybe afraid of acceptance and resentful of tolerance because then the thrill will be gone.

I saw a very brief version of that article in another newspaper, but it was much more interesting to read this fuller version. Thank you for taking the time and effort to post it.

My first pair of Heels. I can stand in them and take a few steps but i need more practice that's for sure.

Nice heels, they look very elegant. Maybe practice walking on carpet first, those floor tiles and wooden floor look very slippery, especially with such a slim stiletto heel.

I think it's important to be "light on your feet" and the key to that is, like mlroseplant says, to involve your whole body posture. It's become quite "natural" to slump, and badly designed furniture encourages that too. It really takes a lot of effort to try and break out of it. Just like constant heel-wearing shortens the achilles tendons, constant slouching collapses the muscular support to your skeleton. When you first correct that, by straightening your back and pushing your shouldres back and down, it feels unnatural until you can train your muscles into a better shape. It's not only physical, it's psychologial too, you feel more confident and that's the right attitude to match the heels.

One thing I've found helpful is a little practice walking in stilettos on a lawn where your heels sink into the ground if you put too much weight on them, as this makes you learn to walk lightly on your feet. Start with a relatively low heel height so that your not teetering on your toes the whole time. At first you'll find your leg muscles will be doing a lot of work to compensate for the lack of weight on the heel, but once those muscles are trained you'll feel more comfortable and even graceful walking across the lawn, and that improved walking action will help on harder surfaces with higher heels. Some of the places I wear heels have stone paving with a really soft rubber filling between the gaps, and at first I used to ruin heels that sank into the gaps, but now I seem to catch the heels as soon as they start to sink, and avoid scuffing my heels.

I still walk heel-to-toe but most of my weight stays on my back foot until my front foot can take the weight transfer onto the toe. That's different from walking heel-to-toe in flats where most of the weight goes onto the heel of the front foot as it contacts the ground, and then rolls onto the toe as your other leg comes forward. With heels that rolling action isn't there and the weight stays on the back foot a little longer until the front foot is ready to take the transfer. Even on a hard surface in higher heels (even wedges), practice walking very slowly keeping your weight on the back foot as long as possible, then very gradually speed up to a natural walking pace.

The first time I ever went out in heels I think it was around 8pm on a late autumn evening, so it was dark. There were people out and about but mostly a steady stream of cars driving past, not too many pedestrians. I was in my late teens and wearing the first ever heels I bought, black patent 4" stilleto courts. I stood behind my front door for several minutes with my heart pounding, occasionally opening the door briefly and checking for a suitable moment to step out, but there always seemed to be a reason to hesitate and close the door again.

Eventually there was a break in the passing traffic and no pedestrians nearby so I grapsed the moment and stepped out. From what I remember I walked maybe 20 yards along the pavement before getting nervous and turning back, but as I approached my house I decided to keep walking another 20 yards in the other direction. Then I got nervous again, turned back and retreated behind my front door.

At that point the nervousness was replaced by euphoria and an instant desire to do it again, so I waited for a safe moment and then stepped out again. This time I kept walking and I was quite relieved when the passing traffic picked up again, as the noise of the cars masked the amazingly loud click of my heels, and it was quite a thrill to look down and catch a glimpse of my shoes in the passing car headlights. About 50 yards down the road I became very aware of how I was walking, and tried to relax and walk in a more confident and stylish way. That's just as well because I was approaching a busy intersection with no shady spots to hide in. I kept walking and turned the corner onto a quieter street, and felt really satisfied that I'd not tuned back.

The rest of my walk around the block was on quieter streets - well, less traffic but I could hear the sound of my heels echoing off the houses each side of the street. At one point someone's front door opened some distance away, and a lady was still stood at the door waving goodbye to someone driving away as I approached. I tried to walk as steadily and elegantly as I could, and I noticed her glance at me before going inside and closing the door, leaving me wondering if she thought "what a silly pair of shoes to be walking in" or perhaps "what fabulous shoes!".

By this time I could feel the tightness in my tendons and soreness in the balls of my feet, as I'd never walked anything like this distance in heels before, and on concrete paving too. But I was more than half way around the block, so turning back was pointless, it was easier to keep going. When I got back home I was buzzing with the thrill of the walk, but it was a relief to slip off my shoes and sit down.

It took me a while to build up the confidence to do that again, but over the next few months I remember repeating that walk twice more. Once wearing black leather courts with a 3½" heel and a ¾-length coat, and I remember a young boy cycled past me on his bike, but I had the distinct impression that he'd been delaying before overtaking me, perhaps captivated by the heels in the same way I would have been if I was that boy on the bike. The other time I wore my gold strappy sandals with red-painted toes and a green party dress under the same coat, and that was my first encounter with a pedestrian, a young lady who glanced up and down at my outfit and heels before we passed each other by.

It was many years later that I first presented myself in public as a guy in heels, and that was in broad daylight trying on my avatar boots in the store before buying them. For newbies if you really feel more comfortable stepping out in the cover of darkness, I'd really recommend an autumn/winter evening where lots of cars are driving around and maybe even with lots of pedestrian commuters walking home, or a high street bustling with christmas shoppers. Unless you're wearing really obvious heels most people will be far too preoccupied to even notice that you're wearing heels.

Both outfits look fun, and the boots look cool. I have no experience whatsoever of fashion parties but my feeling is more towards the first outfit, as I think it looks more like a guy flirting with feminine fashions and perhaps this makes a more intriguing statement. If you think the grey faded jeans are a bit too casual maybe a nice crisp pair of white bootleg jeans or white tailored trousers would be a good alternative? Maybe even a bolder colour like red trousers would also work well with the black shirt and boots.

... lady at counter was shaking her head. She told me that she doesn't mind guys wearing heels but we needed to wear them right... We need to wear women clothes to complete the puzzle....

From what you described it doesn't sound like she was saying that a guy has to convincingly pass as a woman to wear heels. Perhaps she's reasonably open-minded about gender but more polarised in her thinking about fashion... like she doesn't mind guys jumping over the fence to the other side, but wants the fence to stay.

I think some of the more tailored styles of clothes, from the mens or womens department, can look great with heels. Meanwhile I can't imagine wearing heels with tracksuit bottoms regardless of which department they came from. I see it as more of a casual vs sharp style distinction rather than menswear vs womenswear.

Nice outing you had there, TBG. Don't you find it humorous and/or ironic when women ask the following:

"How do you walk in those heels?"

"Don't you find those heels uncomfortable?"

I understand that some women never wear heels and have no point of reference, so they can't comprehend what we do, but for those who do, why they pose questions to which they already know the answers makes little sense to me. What do you think?

I think that sometimes a perfectly comfortable pair of heels becomes uncomfortable because you ended up having to walk too far in them. A badly planned venture into heels gives them an undeservedly bad reputation. I always carry a pair of flats to change into to walk long distances, and I enjoy my heels a lot more when I do wear them.

The other thing is that when trying on heels (or flats) in a store, there's such a variety of styles and some may fit better/worse than others. Especially with heels, it's too easy to fall for temptation and buy that gorgeous pair even though they don't fit well, which ultimately leads to an uncomfortable heel experience and a bad reputation.

That looks like a perfectly pleasant summer outfit, not a "provocative" style at all, and the heel fit in with the overall look. I can't help wondering that if it's a heels-and-shorts taboo thing, would a woman wearing the same outfit get simiar reactions? Also if you wore the exact same outfit but with flat mens sandals, would you still get the same reactions? I think the small-town aspect is almost certainly a big factor, in London on a hot sunny day that outfit would blend right in with the shopping crowds or in one of the big parks. I'm not saying you wouldn't get looks, it's just that most people are too preoccupied to even notice, and those that do don't tend to be so petty as to make a big deal over something so trivial. Kudos to you for daring to step out and brave the reactions.

The only slightly "odd" thing about the look is the no-tan "socks", people might even subconsciously pick up on that as unusual, it would look more natural if you had a more even tan. Last year when I first more a mini-skirt with heels I realised that my legs had only caught the sun when I was sitting reading, so the front of my legs were tanned and the back of my legs were pale. These days I take care not put my legs in the sun at all unless I'm barefoot, because even a low tanline around the ankle looks odd with high-heeled styles (or even ballet flats) that reveal more of the foot.

That's a brighter outfit than I remember seeing you wear before, and it's a great summer style that you wear well. I really like how the shoes soften the white of the trousers without competing with the red t-shirt, the heels are definitely the understated stars of the show. Most inspiring Mr X.

Those are fabulous heels morningsend, and they look great with the jeans.

When I first took the step and wore heels in public, it was with 3" wedge boots under bootcut jeans, and I built up my confidence slowly by pushing my comfort zone a little bit further each time. That doesn't mean I disagree with TBG's approach that an "over the top" style can actually be a huge confidence boost, in fact that really helped me to push my comfort zone forwards in leaps. Don't feel you have to box yourself into one approach, just pick and choose whatever might work for you. Personally I find that wearing an oufit that suits the heels is a huge confidence boost.

You clearly enjoy the style of those stilettos with the jeans (and so you should), so perhaps it's more about finding a venue you feel comfortable in and just going for it. A cafe in a large and busy fashion department store would be a fantastic choice. I once went to a classical music concert with my heels in my bag (I'd been wearing them earlier in the day). As the crowd built up I saw several women wearing gorgeous heels, and in the end I could resist, I found a quiet corner and changed into my heels, I really enjoyed the concert and wandering around the bar area during the interval. So don't feel like you have to work out some amazing plan, sometimes you just have to be prepared to take advantage of impulsive opportunities.

Good luck and keep us posted of your progress.

some women love the look and some women completely disagree with it!

I think that would be true even if you weren't a guy. In any case you seem to have a realistic perspective on things, no look will ever have universal approval and it's important to appreciate the friends who are cool with your fashion choices. My legs aren't nearly as well toned or tanned as yours, but I do like hotpant denim shorts. You wear yours very well and your confidence is justified.

When I started wearing heels 35 years ago, and buying heels covertly 25 years ago, "private" felt like it was the only option. When I started buying and wearing heels openly 3½ years ago was when I realised that "public" was also an option. These days if I can't imagine wearing a pair of heels publicly then I simply don't buy them as it seems like a waste of money. Having said that, I don't think there's a style of heels that I wouldn't be prepared to wear in public if I like them - it's just that years ago I used to like heels regardless of whether they suited me or not, whereas now my liking of a pair of heels is much more connected with feeling that can make the style work for me. Far from being a restriction, I feel that's opened up a greater diversity and freedom of self-expression, trying, buying, wearing and enjoying styles I would've rejected in past years (like the high-heeled loafer for example).

That's a nice style yoyo, I like the asymmetric strap. They look pretty steep, how are they to walk in?

I was just reading over some of the Replies to this topic and something came to mind. 1) The age of the wearer ? 2) The type of heel the person started to wear first? For instance when I started to admire high heels it was the mid to late 70's early 80's and platform heels were in style.

That's a good point. My formative heel years were the 80's, and I remember single-sole stiletto courts being the most desirable style, and that's stuck with me even during the times when stilettos have drifted out of fashion. But when I was younger I must've subconciously caught the late 70's too, and the first heels I ever remember trying on were black suede peeptoe courts with a bit of a platform, so that 70's to 80's transition time is probably my sweet spot. There are some platforms I don't like and some that I do, likewise for single-sole styles too. In the shops it's nice to have the diversity to choose from.