SleekHeels

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Maybe spots are too playful whereas stripes are more authoritative. Presumably vertical stripes are more acceptable (shirts and pinstripe tailoring), horizontal stripes perhaps not so much ("burglar stripes" or "prison stripes").

Nice boots, sounds pretty lucky to find them again. I guess with summer coming the next few months won't really be boot weather in Melbourne, but they're a nice addition to your collection.

When I am feeling daring I would board my train wearing tight black denim riding jeans, vintage 80's knee high Italian black boots, 4" heels, with a slim fitting leather jacket. 

I agree with TBG, that's a fine-sounding outfit. I think it's a good idea to do the journey in heels during a busy time, and you're right that despite any anxieties you might have, most people will be too busy to notice. Of the few who do, just because they may be surprised it doesn't necessarily mean that they disapprove. Do you see many other train travellers wearing heels?

Quite honestly, I like the aesthetics of the heel you call "not very high" better to being with - I know, I'm likely in the minority here on that.  But to me, it is a more attractive height.

I get what you mean RonC, personally I like a straight line all the way down the front of the shin to the toe-line of the shoe. When the heel is so high that the front of the ankle bulges out beyond that line, personally I find that a bit too contorted and not so appealing (though I can understand that others might like that). Having said that, I'm not keen on what might be called a "medium heel" that doesn't extend the ankle enough. I guess that puts my heel-height sweet-spot between 3½" and 4½". The higher end of that can feel a little teetery if I haven't worn them for a while, but I can just about manage to walk elegantly in them. Anything lower than 3½" and I'd find flats more attractive and rather wear those.

Jorisken123, going back to your original photos, it looks like maybe you have some flexibility in your ankles and some in your toes but not at the same time, is that right? If so I guess you have to work on both aspects together. In your 4th photo wearing the sandals it's apparent that your ankle seems comfortable with that heel height but your big toe is trying to straighten out, so that seems to be the limiting factor. If that's the case and those sandals are painful you should go a little lower (even just ½" can make a big difference if it's right on your limit). I still also stand by what I suggested before that walking in flats can be beneficial too. My concern would be that if it's not just the tendons that need stretching but that your pain is due to some kind of arthritis condition (that younger people can experience too), trying to push through the pain could do damage, and you should really seek professional guidance. I'm not trying to make you worry, it's just important that you find out what's right for you.

It is very difficult, though, for men to claw back a style or colour once it has gone feminine - in part because men do not support other men when it comes to breaking ranks. We tend to be pack creatures. 

I'm not so sure, Men couldn't wear a pink shirt 20 years ago but it's no big deal now. Change can happen, you just have to accept that you'll encounter approval and disapproval. Just don't mistake surprise for disapproval.

The "Stigma and Power" in the title of this topic are flip sides of the same coin, it's up to you to take it or leave it.

Now here's a look I wouldn't mind being able to be seen in, I do wear T-shirts with skirts around the house sometimes, but if I were ever to go out skirted and heeled, this would be the kind of outfit I would like to wear. My new partner is cool with the heels at home and she knows about the skirts, but out and about would be another story. I also feel that at my age I'm a little beyond "Trendsetting"...

 

What do you guys think?

That looks like a fine outfit to me, very smart but at the same time relaxed with the shirt worn loose over the skirt. Also the length of the shirt and skirt are a nice proportion that might not work great with flats but it's perfect with those heels. I'd definitely feel good stepping out in an outfit like that, maybe browsing in a bookshop or department store or going for a coffee in a smart shopping mall. If you were to go out in your heels, where would you like to go?

Perhaps "at your age" it's even more important to be a trendsetter and inspire people who've been trapped in their shell for longer than they can remember. Just think of it as dressing honestly... maybe "at your age" you're a little beyond conforming to how other people expect you to dress. All I'm saying is that you might have other reservations about stepping out in heels, but don't let age have anything to do with it.

I think over-the-knee boots can look great with skinny jeans, what would make all the difference is what top you're wearing, for example a stylish jumper wouldn't look so provocative. I tend to like the more subtle styles when these sorts of boots crossed over into the mainstream / high-street fashion stores, but that's just personal preference.

A couple of days ago I saw a pretty young lady wearing a gorgeous pair of black leather over-the-knee boots. I said to her I hope she feels as fabulous as she looks because those boots are amazing. She seemed to appreciate the nice comment, it would be a shame to wear such nice boots and not get a compliment. She was wearing them with sheer black tights, a black wrap mini-skirt and a black cardigan over a coloured top. I thought the whole outfit made the boots look very stylish and I told her so and wished her a good day.

Another self-assured look Jeff, I agree the grey tights add a nice contrast without being too over-the-top. Black patterned tights would be another option too. I'm interested that you chose the beige top (I'd probably have played it safe with a more predictable white or light-grey top, which would've been ok but a bit of a colder colour combination). The beige works and gives a warmer feel to the whole look, but the heels keep it looking sharp.

That second pair is very elegant indeed, I really like the double wavy t-bar styling.

If you're using the third photo as your benchmark, that's pretty extreme. Realistically I don't think you need to aim for more than that in your ankle. In your first photo the line along the front of your shin and along the top of your foot looks good, and shows that you have enough flexibility in your ankle to wear a reasonably high heel.

As for your toes, for sure you do have limited flexibility, and from the "pain and discomfort" you describe, it really doesn't sound like a good idea to force them way beyond your comfort zone. Dr Shoe's advice to gradually stretch out the tendons over a long period of time sounds like a good approach.

It seems other people that don't wear heels at all (male and female) often have much more flexibility.

That would make sense, walking in heels tends to restrict the foot's natural flexibility, less energy is absorbed by the foot and more is transmitted up the leg, which is why some heel-wearers get knee problems. Getting yourself a good pair of flats and doing plenty of walking would most likely use the mechanism of your foot properly and encourage flexibility and strength. I think this would be better than trying to force yourself to walk around in heels all the time. I do a lot of walking in flats and I think it really helps keep my feet in good shape for wearing heels too.

If you sit on a chair with your bare feet flat on the floor and your shins vertical (your knees directly above your ankles), are you able to do the following:

1. Raise your toes up off the floor, keeping the rest of the sole of your foot on the floor?
2. Raise your heels up of the floor, keeping your toes and the balls of your feet on the floor?

If this doesn't cause you pain, maybe you could do these as gentle regular exercises, combined with plenty of walking in flats, and see if you notice any improvement over time. (Once you're comfortable you could even try them standing instead of sitting). But if it's very uncomfortable and does cause you pain maybe you should consult a physiotherapist for a professional assessment.

I'm by no means an expert, but I hope there's something helpful for you.

Thanks!  I was thinking the exact same thing.  In fact I even wore them right out of the house after buying them.  My next outfit will probably be exactly that.  Except I will probably change up the bag.  Not sure how the tan bag will work on its own.

 

It's funny you mentioned about the calf room.  There is definitely some extra room in the shaft of those boots

On the plus side it looks like you have quite slender legs, which opens up all sorts of possibilities like mid-calf boots (that make my legs look like chicken drumsticks, but I'm sure would work much better for you). I agree the tan bag on its own might look a bit odd, black would be a safe bet, or if you want to brighten things up a bit maybe a red bag with a red turtleneck under the coat?

Congratulations on your fund-raising, and great of the magazine to do a feature. The best thing is it's not about enduring pain for a good cause, it's about having fun for a good cause, so well done to all of you (I loved all the heels everyone's wearing in the photos). Those new everyday boots will be like flats after the month you've had, but hopefully they're high enough to keep your back pain at bay.

That's a very elegant pair of heels. I have a similar pair (but with a slightly lower 4.5" heel, you're doing well to walk in those at 5.25")/ Although I almost always prefer wearing heel barefoot, I think these look amazing with fishnets (or micronets), sheer black tights (not too glossy), or even opaque black tights whose matt texture would contrast with the patent. Have fun wearing them.

Welcome Ansola!

They all sound like great reasons to love heels!

If you're happy to write about some of your customized creations, I'm sure we'll be happy to read it.

no-one ever did try to give me a finger wag emoticon.  But I digress again.

Now now Megan, I'm sure that's not true!

Some high street retailers go to a UK9 and sometimes have styles with 5" heels though often with some platform.

Don't be shy about popping in and trying some on, it's fun and even if they're only 4" heels you might even like them.

I have no idea if this is your style at all, but New Look have some gold or silver peeptoes with a 5" heel in a UK9:

http://www.newlook.com/shop/shoe-gallery/view-all-shoes/silver-glitter-peeptoe-platform-heels_317931892

They also have these black cross strap heels. If they're not 5" they're pretty close, and I've tried them on in store and they looked really elegant:

http://www.newlook.com/shop/shoe-gallery/view-all-shoes/black-cross-strap-platform-heels-_322142801

It looks like they have several stores in the Southampton area. I guess they may not routinely stock UK9's if there's no demand for them, but if you see a style you like maybe they can order it in for you. The staff at my usual branch are really friendly and helpful so I'm going back there and buying stuff whenever I can afford it.

Office shoes also show several high heel styles in a UK9 on their website and it says they have a store in WestQuay shopping centre. I've found their staff to be pretty cool too, though I only buy very occasionally from them in the sales as they're usually beyond my price range.

River Island must have a store local to you, and their website also shows several high heel styles in a UK9, including these with a 6" heel (with platform):

http://www.riverisland.com/women/shoes--boots/heels/Black-cross-over-mesh-glitter-heels-660259

Again don't get your hopes up that you'll find many UK9's in stock, but again any of these stores should be able to order them in for you if they value good long-term customers.

Good luck, and do let us know what you find.

Thanks Histiletto, even though I'm unlikely to take on such a modification myself, it's really interesting to hear your thought process and I'm sure it'll be helpful to anyone else thinking of modifying a pair of heels.

I certainly agree with you when it comes to the heel being perpendicular with the ground, by which I mean the front (usually flat) face of the heel not the back that usually curves up from the heel tip to the back of the shoe. Designs where the heel tip is too far back and the heel is off vertical, as if the heel is splaying out from under the shoe, I find very unappealing. To me it always gives me the impression that the shoe is under strain because the wearer is too heavy or tired, whereas a vertical heel tends to make the wearer look lighter on their feet and elegant.

Well, I extended both stiletto heels the half inch and I'm more than pleased. These slender heels are now a full 6 inches high with the 1.25 inch platform, making them the equivalent to wearing 4.75 inch heels. I just need a high gloss black paint that is durable enough to create a strong coat upon the extensions to resist the usual scrapes and scratches heels that incur.

That's quite a significant increase. Is the sole at the tip of the toe still clear of the ground? I'd guess that being a platform that whole front area of the sole is pretty fixed with no flexibility, but my concern would be that you've moved the area that takes most of your weight forward so that it's more under your toes rather than under the ball of your foot. I'm not questioning what you've done, I'm just interested to know how you've handled the consequences. Would the heel height increase been any easier or harder with a single-sole rather than a platform?

I have to agree that's a fine outfit TBG, it's really hard to make such a short dress not look desparate, but even with what some might call "povoactive" boots you've pulled off a very stylish look.

I really don't like going out on Halloween because people think what I'm wearing is a costume rather than my everyday wear.

I have to agree. It almost seems like giving people the easy way out by dismissing how we're dressed as some sort of prank. I think it makes a more powerful statement that we're wearing heels because we choose to and because we like it.

It sounds like a fun initiative by DSW to have a National Shoe Lovers Day promotion. It's a nice way to break the ice with sales staff and other customers, although I try to do that whenever I'm out shopping for heels anyway.

A couple of weeks ago I was at a mall and the lady in front of my on the escalator was wearing a jumper with pictures of shoes all over it. I said to her "Wow, I love your jumper! Do you own that many shoes?" and she said "Well, thinking about it I probably do!". I said "hopefully I'm not too far behind you" and pointed at the heels I was wearing (cream stiletto court slingbacks, 3½" heel, bare legs and above the knee skirt), and she replied "Hey, you can never have too many shoes!". It was just a really nice innocent chat with a fellow shoe enthusiast at the mall, but I don't think I (or she) would have felt nearly as relaxed about it if I hadn't been wearing my heels.

... it really depends on the shoe.

Again, it depends on the heels...

I guess I was thinking from the perspective that these days I don't really buy heels that I only half-like, I tend to have to really like a pair of heels before I buy them (maybe they're a lot nicer than a similar pair I have already) so not only does the initial level of excitement have to be quite high, but I have to see a long-term appeal too. Consequently the excitement tends to persist for me, so I tend to keep all the heels I buy. Maybe others have a much higher throughput of heels, throwing out old pairs as frequently as they buy new pairs, and are much more addicted to the short-term excitement of buying new heels. Maybe some people even buy heels that they don't even like that much just for the sake of it because they're addicted to the excitement of the shopping experience.

Some might call me obsessed with heels because I have 100 pairs, even though I only buy maybe 4-5 pairs a year on average, whereas someone else obsessed with heels might only have 20 pairs in their collection but they're constantly replacing that collection. Thinking about it, maybe this is what I was trying to get at with my poll question.... not just "how obsessed are you with heels?" but rather "what type of obsession do you have?". Not that there's a right or wrong type of obsession, it's just interesting to see the diversity.

I do try to keep my talk of flats to a minimum (or at least in the "General Fashion" section), as this is "high heel" place after all. The thing is that I sometimes get just as much reaction wearing flats as I do wearing heels. Maybe it's because ballet flats and court heels tend to have the same low vamp where most of the top of the foot is exposed, which is perceived as a typically "feminine" style. As a consequence of this, if someone feels nervous about stepping out in heels, they could try stepping out in flats and that's most of the hurdle overcome, it's really not that big a step to progress to heels in terms of the reactions you'll get. The other approach seems to be to wear closed style heels (like oxfords or boots) or maybe even high-heeled loafers under jeans, perhaps with a wedge heel, as these are essentially a more "masculine" style but with a heel. Both approaches seem to be a good intermediate step towards wearing high-heeled courts, peeptoes or even sandals if that's the ultimate goal. As such I think that for some people at least, women's flats can play a role towards eventually getting out there in heels, so they're relevant in that respect. I also think that wearing flats can play an important role in managing the problem of shortened tendons from wearing heels all the time, so they're relevant in that respect too.

It's the same with skirts and other freestyle fashion clothes items, they mostly belong in the "General Fashion" section but sometimes they do relate specifically to high heels, especially so in the "For the guys" section where the choice of outfit to accompany a pair of heels can make a big difference in the level of confidence when stepping out, and the impression that we project. I find it really interesting to see not just what kinds of heels guys are wearing, but also what they're wearing with them, and all the diverse ways that people can present themselves as guys in heels. Maybe some would dismiss the other clothes (and flats) as simply "cross-dressing" and beyond the scope of the forum, but the point is we're not trying to "pass" as women and avoid being "read", we're presenting ourselves as guys in heels and a lot of other stuff is relevant to that.

.... consider trying a pair of flats.  Although they don't have all the style and daring

Don't they? Not even over-the-knee flats?

Loving the floral skirt! I looked on Oasis' site, and it looked a little too short for me but how did you find a longer one? The denim one is cute as well

I guess my legs are way shorter that the model on the web-site and she might be wearing the skirt higher up on the waist. I found that my usual size 12UK sits nicely on my hips and with my shorter legs the hem of the skirt comes nicely a couple of inches above the knee, a perfect length with my just-below-the-knee boots. The skirt length is 17" and my inside leg down to the knee is 12". That's the nice thing with skirts, you have some margin for wearing them higher or lower on the waist/hips, although I think it can look rather odd going too low or too high.

I did try the skirt on beforehand in the store's changing rooms before deciding I was happy with it, I got a slightly apprehensive but forgiveable reaction from the young attendant, but a much warmer reaction from the more experienced (but still young) cash desk assistant. The skirt is not the stretchy bodycon kind (which tends to be more accommodating for different body shapes), but the fit works well for me, and it's nicely made and with a lining. Even the sale price was a bit more expensive than my usual price point, but worth it and I'm very pleased with my purchase. I think it works well with different styles of heels, boots for an autumn look but also court shoes, slingbacks or sandals for a spring/summer look too.