SleekHeels

When it comes to boots, I can wear any shape heel, and any shape toe with 110% confidence. However! With shoes I'm a lot more self conscious. I want to get into wearing pumps more for the warmer weather, but my mind goes back to that uneasy self conscious state that I had 10 years ago when I first started with boots in public. I really want to get past that and anyone with any thoughts, tips, experiences, Please feel free to message me. Like knee highs said. I'd love to hear the good stuff, even constructive comments, but with boots or shoes, ppls looks, laughs, an negative comments don't phase me at all!

It sounds like "that uneasy self conscious state" 10 years ago with boots turned into "110% confidence", so you've achieved it before, the only difference is that with shoes it'll hopefully be a lot quicker than another 10 years! If everyone's all booted up for the winter but you can't wait to build some confidence with shoes, maybe wear them to the theatre or some other place where people would wear high heeled shoes. It's not that you should be afraid of being the only one in the room wearing heels, I just think it's a lot of fun being some place where others are wearing their heels too. I remember one time I went to a concert, I was wearing regular guys flats but when I saw some ladies wearing their heels I felt so left out I couldn't resist changing into my heels that I had in my bag. This was back in my early days and it seemed like a huge step at the time, whereas I wouldn't think twice about it now.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!! Those jeans look amazing on you! And I love the boots.

I'll echo that, and Foxyheels and Mr. X too. I see all sorts of body shapes wearing skinny jeans and I think it's the overall way the outfit's put together (and the feeling of confidence that comes from that) that make them work.

Ok finally figured out why this poll slightly annoyed me.

 

I don't "hide" my shoes, thats mostly the style I go for in general. But technically yes I do "hide" them so yeah, eh whatever.

Presumably that was relating to the other poll "Are You Hidding Your High Heel Boots Under Pants Or Showing Them With Jean Under Boots?"

http://www.hhplace.org/topic/22083-are-you-hidding-your-high-heel-boots-under-pants-or-showing-them-with-jean-under-boots/

I do sometimes, actually most of the time. I choice to go with the black because I was trying to match the total color scheme of the whole outfit. 

Yes, it's sometimes nice to break away from the usual #1 choice and do something a little different. I must admit I probably don't do that as much as I should.

Scrappycoco, With your last outfit I would maybe try sheer tan tights. Sure the black tights might be a little less conspicuous out and about, but if you're going to get noticed anyway then I think the contrast of grey with tan really brings out the best tones in both colours and works really well with blue denim too.

Twinkle

What a great way to see in the new year Heel-Lover. The vibrant colours of the skirt with the simple black stilettos and top sounds like a very effective way of creating the illusion of hips. Is that ever a consideration for you? It is for me because my skirt size is one size lower than my top size (which can make dresses a little tricky). I find that broadening the hips with a brightly coloured skirt can look a little plump with flats, but of course heels are the perfect solution for that

Scrappycoco, if that doesn't create a positive image of guys in heels I don't know what will. Nice style!

Presumably there are a whole bunch of #1's out there who aren't voting. In any case the stats (and comments) would broadly seem to suggest a somewhat polarised population of heelers: a bunch of apprehensive #1's and #2's who haven't made the leap, and a bunch of confident #4's and #5's who have made the leap. One could maybe even speculate that many (though perhaps not all) of the #1's and #2's wish they could make that leap, while generally the #4's and #5's don't regret making the leap. Certainly in my experience the leap seems far smaller looking back from #4 than it did looking forward from #2. I hope that inspires confidence in some wishful #2's - the grass really is greener on the other side!

Other's feelings are not irrelevant to me.  While their negative feelings will have zero effect on my heel wearing or my self-worth, their positive feelings can catapult my personal success far beyond what my imagination can envision.  I appeal to people's egos in my profession.  The more I make people feel empowered, smarter, bolder, and sophisticated, the more I succeed.

I think that's an important point. We can gain far more self-worth by increasing the sense of self-worth of those around us rather than trying to knock it down. We sometimes assume the worst of how people will react to a guy in heels, and don't necessarily give them any credit. Sure there's a minority of narrow-minded idiots around, but most people are hovering and we have the power to bring out the best or worst in them with our attitude. I'm not advocating some kind of utopian naivety, but it's easy to be too dystopian and hold ourselves back.

Great

CHiPs

I'm kinda curious, what do you think about say these:

http://www.farfetch.com/shopping/women/ritch-erani-nyfc-vadis-boot-item-10560313.aspx?storeid=9573

I'm not usually a fan of the heel being so far back (I have one such pair but only 3½" so walking is easy). Given that I'd wear those boots with trousers that would cover where the heel joins the sole, any style objections would go away, they'd look pretty smart.

As for the Louboutins in the original picture, my overall favourite style is the Daffodile but my favourite heel shape is that of the Bana.

mlroseplant, those Nine West Plantera's would look very stylish with smart tailored trousers. Great that you didn't return them and you persevered with them.

I see woman wearing open toed help sandals or boots with the pants tucked in and I want that look, even though if I did that I would never look as good as what I see.

Isn't that exactly what many women feel when they're bombarded with airbrushed images of unattainable perfection? For some women that can be the source of a lot of insecurity, but others shrug it off and feel confident about wearing what they like to wear even if they don't look like a supermodel. In my opinion real women are far more sexy than their idealised media representations, and for us guys who like to wear heels, we should be inspired by their confidence and feel free to shake off our insecurities and discover the freedom to express ourselves.

I hate how women pick out heels to wear, and wear them as they please.  I've been out in public a few times, but I wouldn't dare wear them to work.

Sure social attitudes impose some bias against guys wearing heels, but I don't see any reason to "hate" that women enjoy greater (but far from total) freedom from bias in wearing heels. Why can't we just share in the joy of anyone who's enjoying wearing their heels? Bitterness isn't going to help us overcome our insecurities and get where we want to be.

But let's face it--there is a fine line between having your own style and looking good, and having your own style and looking just outlandish and odd.  Everyone has his (or her) own point of view, but some things just don't look good on the opposite gender.

I agree, it is a fine line, but there's a huge diversity of women with all sorts of body shapes and sizes who find fashions that work for them, and as guys we just have to find our place on the fashion spectrum. For sure some styles will always look better/worse on different people, but it's one thing finding out what works or not for us as individuals, another thing if we find a good looking outfit and the "oddness" is simply that it's socially unconventional that it happens to be a guy to be wearing it.

Just to be clear, I'm not being critical of what you guys are saying, they're common feelings that are familiar and many of us have to deal with, I'm just saying what works for me for overcoming that. It's really interesting to hear what these challenges mean for other people too, our opinions and experiences are no more or less valid than each others.

Unless you have another theory, I think it has developed because we have had to deny our desire the satisfaction it has needed.

My experience agrees with that, it is the denial of the desire for heels that was totally self-consuming, and since taking the leap of wearing my heels in public I feel far more in control (but still just as passionate) about heels.

I didn't want to word option #5 as "I don't care about others feelings" or "with blatant disregard for others feelings" because that's loaded with arrogance. I settled on the wording "totally irrelevant" because I was trying to choose wording that made #5 a viable option for someone for whom others feelings are simply not a consideration. For some that's perfectly reasonable while for others it's a step too far, but I don't think there's any right or wrong answer to that, it's just interesting to hear peoples perspectives and interpretations.

I'd like to see those in a shoe shop on the mens display rack with a sign that says "Too chicken to try heels?"

I've had some of my (many) best and (few) worst shopping experiences both with younger and older sales assistants, so I'd say age has nothing to do with it, it's more just personality and attitude.

As for your search for quiet heels, it's much easier to just wear your heels in noisy places!

Trying to figure out if these pants go with heels. I'm thinking they do.

 

Nice outfit! Everything works.

I'll echo that.

I find flats very tricky, perhaps even more so than heels, with regards to finding a good fit that's flattering to the foot. I find even the most subtle styling differences can be make or break as to whether I like them or not (sure that's true of heels too, but heels can win me over more easily). The Michael Kors ones look like they leave more of the foot uncovered whereas the Tory Burch ones seem to have a line that comes higher around the foot, but how did you feel about their appearance when you tried them on? Did you find them equally flattering to your foot shape and the outfits you might like to wear with them?

Personally I think the all black of the Michael Kors pair is a more classic winter option with black opaque tights, whereas the Tory Burch ones seem to lean towards being worn barefoot and with lighter, spring-season outfits (maybe it's the colour of the soles?). If you don't have a pair of classic black flats in your collection then the first pair are a more versatile option, but if you have lots and you're looking for something a bit different maybe the second pair is more appealing to you. In any case they're way above my price range.

(Browsing their heels sections I liked several of the Michael Kors styles but none of the Troy Burch ones).

I often wear a necklace with a turtleneck top and high-heeled tall boots. I've tended to wear a narrower pencil-skirt which needs care to avoid looking top-heavy, but your more flowing skirt gives you a very well-balanced silhouette Jeff. It's also happened to me a couple of times that I got compliments on my necklace, which I've taken as a sign that maybe I've got the underlying basics of my outfit and heels working reasonably well for someone to focus on the little details like that.

Often I like to wear styles like skinny jeans or a skirt that show off my heels. Other times my bootcut jeans cover most of my heels but I'm certainly not "hiding" them, I just wear them that way because I like the style. But that tends to be more with court shoes and ankle boots; with tall boots (up to knee-high) I mostly prefer them to show, that's the whole beauty of the boots. The weather is a far greater factor than any notion of self-consciousness for how I chose to wear my heels/boots.

Best Christmas wishes to all fellow heel-lovers:

http://l3.yimg.com/nn/fp/rsz/122313/images/smush/shopping_635x250_1387808518.jpg

Yes. Which is exactly why I may well give up on the idea of shorts and heels. I would like to advance the idea that males can wear a little bit broader variety of styles. Yes, I've developed a thicker skin about giggles from groups of teenaged girls, but I will never pretend that I do not care at all what other people think. Ideally, I want other people to think, "Wow, that actually looks pretty good! I wonder if I (or my husband/boyfriend) could do that? " I know that's not going to happen too often, but it's a goal. Sometimes, there's a fine line between not giving a hoot and looking totally absurd. Thanks for your input, Shafted.

As guys in heels I agree that we walk a fine line in terms of social reaction... there are some who are torn between a fear of ridicule and a need for approval, there are others who have complete dismissal of other peoples views (I feel a poll coming on: http://www.hhplace.org/topic/22004-scale-of-confidence/ ). Sure we have to be a little thick-skinned sometimes but taking that too far can be very egocentric and out of touch.

The word "absurd" is tricky... if I'm wearing a perfectly nice pair of heels and the only absurdity is that I'm a guy then the absurdity is in people's prejudice. Likewise if I'm wearing a totally outrageous and extravagant look (assuming some level of decency), then what's the big deal, it's just individual expression. In any case maybe we should cherish absurdity rather than fear it.

Where would you place yourself on a scale of confidence wearing heels in public?

I'd say I've evolved from #1 as a teenager to a #4 now. I don't think I could ever be a #5 because I'd like to think that by by wearing our heels we're making people question their subconscious preconceptions, and maybe changing peoples views for the better.

As my collection has increased over the years I do feel more content with the heels I have. There are less gaps in my collection now, so a new style has to really stand out to get my attention. That doesn't mean that they have to be an outrageous crazy style; if anything it's subtle classic styling that's more likely to tempt me to buy, though a touch of novelty can be very appealing too. While I feel I have become more discerning, since I started trying on heels in store I've probably bought more simply because I'm willing to try different styles and fnid that I unexpectedly like how they look and feel to wear. For sure a new pair of heels is exciting but so is wearing a favourite pair with memories of previous times I've worn them.