blackhhb Posted November 2, 2006 Share Posted November 2, 2006 Hi, I was looking for a woman's opinion on what I can do to encourage my wife to wear her high heel stiletto pumps and/or knee high heel dress boots on a daily basis to the point that she actually loves wearing them? Is there a way to help her develop a fetish or deeper love for them to the point that she enjoys wearing them constantly as some of you do? Any thoughts on this? She does wear them if I ask her, but it would be nice if she would just wear them without me asking. Thanks for any feedback or ideas. Thanks, Blackhhb Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wolfgang Posted November 3, 2006 Share Posted November 3, 2006 If you're wanting her to be permanantly heeled, that generally takes a mutual fetish for such a thing. It's a commitment that isn't always convenient for her or you. Wearing the shoes more often isn't much of a demand. For as stubborn as I am, if I have a piece of clothing I know my boyfriend likes, I'm more likely to wear it around him. You might want to just tell her subtly through a compliment. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pussyinboots Posted November 4, 2006 Share Posted November 4, 2006 "You can lead a horse to water - but you can't make it drink". Let HER make her own mind up - otherwise she will end up resenting you. "Good Girls keep diaries....Bad Girls just don't have the time...!:icon_twisted:" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wetshoe2 Posted November 26, 2006 Share Posted November 26, 2006 yes, i agree. you have to be careful or else not only will she resent you, she'll resent the heels too. i've found that its not practical to try to turn a flat shoe girl into a high heel girl. most can't handle the discomfort. several times i've made the mistake of going out with a flat shoe girl thinking it would be as easy replacing her shoe collection. now i know that if you want a girl who wears heels all the time, you have to find a girl who wears heels all the time. just because she had heels on at the party when you met and she wore heels on your first few dates doesn't mean much. when you know she is already out out of the house on a day she doesn't expect to see you, offer to go pick her up from wherever she is. if she isn't in heels, its likely that she won't be once she's your girlfriend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris100575 Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 All you can do is compliment her when she wears them and hope that does the trick. Make sure you say something like "those boots look great on you" though and *not* "you look great in those boots". Basically though, unless she wants to wear them, she won't. As others have said, if she feels like she's being pushed she'll just resent you, and could end up feeling that you're more interested in her footwear than you are in her. Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shyguy Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 I think it's all been said, basically, genuine compliments when she wears something nice will help encourage her, this has helped me to get my wife to wear more of what I like to see her in, BUT it's still got to be give and take. I give my wife compliments when she looks good, and that gives her more confidence to wear clothes and shoes/boots she wouldn't have done before. She still has the ultimate choice of what she wears though. Another way to look at it would be from the other side of the problem, what would she have you wear, and how would you feel if it was something you didn't really like that much? He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RPMindy Posted November 29, 2006 Share Posted November 29, 2006 all well said. my lady loves her heel collection and brags about it all the time. but only wears heels once a week.. on Saturdays. maybe once or twice she's done it during the week to surprise me.. but that's it. no amount of compliments or talk will change that about her. besides..it's a nice compromise.. considering before I met her.. her tallest heel she wore rarely was 3 inch. now.. she does 4 inch, 4.5 inch and at times 5 inch.. but only on Saturdays. what i'm saying.. respect what your gal is doing. don't try to change her. she does it every now and then on request.. make it a special day when you make a request. take her somewhere super special or something like that. leave the expectation checked at the door. embrace the fact that as a flat-girl.. she wears heels for you every now and again. who knows.. she may one day surprise you.. but then again she may not. by me accepting what I can't change.. i've lessened the headaches I get. i used to get upset all the time with my gal about her reluctance to wear heels. she got stressed out about it. fortunately for us.. i got over myself before permanent damage was done. i'm not proud of my insistant ways.. but i'm happy i'm letting it go. i find that now that i've eased up on heels.. she's more apt to surprise me with a pair on her feet. (will it every get to everyday.. most likely never) i've also learned to not 'rub' in her face that i've got tons of friends who know I like heels and are willing to wear them for me if I ask.. and sometimes even when I don't ask. stupid mistake on my part to mention it to her.. hurt her even. but she forgave me and I won't do that again! focusing too much on the subject could have gotten real expensive for me emotionally. bottom line to close this long post. she will do what she will do. love her and embrace her inspite of you not getting what you want. it's her body.. her choice. let her have the freedom to do as she pleases without you getting upset about it (i know that is hard. but it works when you're accepting) RPM p.s. by the way.. now that i've eased up a lot on the pressure.. she seems to be more open to higher heels now.. and is looking more for them more then ever in my 4+ years with her. her collection 'exploded' once i eased up on the pressure. yes.. still mainly on Saturdays she wears them..but now they're starting to show up more on hot dates than before (which was never or close to it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danielinheels Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 You can't. Either she will or she won't. It's been said: Push too much, and she'll start disliking you for it. Be yourself; everyone else is already taken. - Oscar Wilde Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abodyjay Posted November 30, 2006 Share Posted November 30, 2006 I agree. My wife didn't like to wear heels at all. She still doesn't for that matter. I would get so frustrated about it. I just started to watch tv. I watched the style channel etc. The best thing that ever happened was for the whole "jeans and heels" look to come about. We watched these show together and I progressively began to show her different outfits in the stores that I would like to see on her. Finally, after all of the fashion shows and repetitive visuals on tv and the local malls, she started to wear them. I still haven't got her into 5 inchers yet, (although I can sometimes get her to try them on in the mall), but she is getting used to 3-3.5 inchers casually, and once in a while 4 inchers when we rarely go out. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppi Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 hi there just to say that my husband got me high heeled courts with locking ankle straps they certainly work for getting my in high heels Deb's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris100575 Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 While I'm happy that they're working out for you Poppi, I wouldn't recommend them as a general way to get your lady into wearing heels! Chris Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RPMindy Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 i've posted an entry in another topic on choosing comfy heels. my lady started wearing heels when i was able to show her that she won't have to totally forgo her comfort. it was a long patient process of loving encouragement (and realizing that being pushy subconciously doesn't work either) and picking heels that she found very comfy. the bottom line.. the day I told her that i'd be just as happy with her if she went back to flats as if she went to 6 inch.. made a big difference for her. she was less guarded that i was trying to change her. she's gone up to 5 inch totally on her own (she never tried it when i bought it.. but bought one on her own and wears it for herself.... meaning i've not yet seen her do it) forcing.. locking a gal into heels.. never works in my opinion. my lady's love of high heels grew on her own time for herself. she wears them when she's in the mood. i dont' press the issue.. i no longer make a big deal when i hear she wears heels for herself but not me. i embrace her for who she is.. and that to me has had the biggest success. she now has many many pairs of heels.. the tallest ones now being purchased by her whereas the more every day wear and lower ones being purchased by me. she's happy. and i'm happy because now she has a wide collection and can vary as she feels like it.. and i love her collection.. they're very sexy!!! a win-win situation. (different than my vision of 5 and 6 inch, but sure beats 3 inch and less also!!! and far more stylish now!!!!) RPM p.s. she tends to wear 4 to 5 inch now.. and the greatest joy is when i get her a pair and she'll say.. "huh... not as tall as i wanted.. but cute!".. and the next week.. she gets one that is tall enough!!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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