me: summer clothes-challenged

[Wolfgang]

I always look real good in spring, fall, and winter, but summer was never my strong season. I generally just wear whatever I can to not get heatstroke, and that usually results in my looking like a slob. My typical outfit is a guy's t-shirt [small, so it's loose but form-fitting], capris, and flat sandals; or even pants. Apparently, I'm violating every law of capri pants which aren't supposed to be worn by short people with loose shirts and flat shoes. Or something revealing with something that's not - like a spagetti-strap top with a long skirt, but not that same top with short shorts. I have a thing though about my clothes - I wear either fitted shirt or pants with looser pants or shirt not both loose at the same time and not fitted at the same time. Ironically, I have a nice body [think Laura Croft without the rack] and I hide it because I COMPLETELY ABHOR WITH A BURNING PASSION when people look at me. I think it's disrespectful to the utmost, ESPECIALLY when it's either old men [...ew], or people being obvious about it. So, having said that, does anyone have any suggestions for me looking like a non-slob in summer without dressing to provoke stares?

[hoverfly]

Get ues to it you are a women, and everbody look at every one else. Just dress the way you feel you should. In time you will learn of the power of being a female. If you waear high heels thoes are look at me shoes.

[Wolfgang]

Get ues to it you are a women, and everbody look at every one else. Just dress the way you feel you should. In time you will learn of the power of being a female. If you waear high heels thoes are look at me shoes.

I don't mind people looking at my clothes or shoes if that's all they're looking at; in the other seasons I dress eccentrically, but nothing calls a lot of attention to my body.

Right now I'm dressing on a "have to" basis because I've never really cared about clothes for summer. Now, I care, but I have no idea where to begin because I'm not used to looking as generic and plain as I've realised I look compared to other people who I normally out-clothe.

[Danielinheels]

tank tops and palazzo pants/crop pants.

[Wolfgang]

tank tops and palazzo pants/crop pants.

Palazzo pants aren't a style I'm too wild about, but I almost always wear cropped pants. I was told, though, that I'm too short for capris/cropped pants and they make me look "stumpy" But like I said, I wear them anyway because it's either those or short shorts.

[Danielinheels]

how tall are you?

[Wolfgang]

how tall are you?

5'3"

[jmc]

First, please allow me to extend an apology on behalf of the masculine portion of humanity for those slobbering nimrods that make you uncomfortable by ogling you. Let me point out that most of us do like women although I am not offering that as an excuse. After all, there is self-control. It is rare and precious but it does exist. Those neanderthals need to get some. Now mind you, unless you also refer to your 40th birthday as "history", I would qualify as an "old man". Psychologically and emotionally there really is little difference between an old man and a young man -- we don't get much past 20 in those categories. Which means most men, regardless of age, will notice women, it is hard-wired into our systems. I notice most women, whether they are "attractive" or not. But I do make a conscious effort to keep it low-key. "Noticing" is one thing, "Slack-jawed gawking" is quite another. Of course I have some trouble relating to your situation as I have never really been much of anything to look at. Let's just say nobody ever strained a neck muscle to get an eyeful of me. However, it sounds as though you prefer to "fade into the background" as much as possible. That is a familiar theme to a lot of the male heelers here -- those of us who have not yet developed self-confidence would rather not call a lot of attention to ourselves. For some of us it is personal, for others it is a function of where we live -- there are a lot of redneck backwaters out there where the only heels acceptable on a man are attached to cowboy boots. (I don't have anything against cowboy boots but if that's all you can wear they get a little monotonous. Breaking the monotony footwear-wise is a lot of what this board is about.) I guess just try to do what makes you comfortable, physically as well as emotionally. What the rest of the world sees/thinks/says is of secondary importance at best.

[Shafted]

Wolfgang, If I were a woman, I think I would try one of those summer dresses, both cool and feminine at the same time with a nice pair of heels. Trust me, as a guy, guys will notice.

[Wolfgang]

@ jmc: Eh, I guess that's just a guy's nature. I can't control what other people do [though I'd like to ] I should just learn to take it in stride, however that's done. It's probably because I have a boyfriend, so I have no reason to seek that kind of attention; and I'm very particular about my boyfriend anyway, so I've no desire to broadcast to everyone. Along those lines, I get really disgusted when someone that's the complete opposite of what I'm looking for starts persisting to me - basically unattractive, no real or realistic direction in life, lacks characteristics that might suggest above-average intelligence, nothing in common, etc. and most are unable to read disinterest - and it's not like my tastes are all that particular. I found that I save myself a lot of time and nerves to just go out and seek for myself, instead of just waiting for the perfect person and just ending up being chased by bozos. In the case of my boyfriend and I, we sort of chose each other. @ shafted: I was never a fan of dresses, nor too "in-touch" with my feminimity. I like to sometimes dress to pass as a guy, sometimes dress androgenously [not butch, but more of a fem-boi look], sometimes utter gender-fuck, and sometimes dress very flamboyantly and flash-and-glitter feminine, but the classic "soft and feminine" has always felt like a costume. Bleh, I'm probably a weirdo.

[Shafted]

Can't say I didn't try. Problem is dressing to stay cool in guys clothes tends to look dumpy wiether its on a guy or a gal. Men just don't have good clothing options when trying to beat the heat.

[jmc]

. . . I get really disgusted when someone that's the complete opposite of what I'm looking for starts persisting to me - basically unattractive, no real or realistic direction in life, lacks characteristics that might suggest above-average intelligence, nothing in common, etc. and most are unable to read disinterest - and it's not like my tastes are all that particular . . .

I'm not sure they are unable to read your disinterest. They just don't want to, and that is a sure sign of arrogance. That's exactly the nimrod I had in mind.

[Wolfgang]

I'm not sure they are unable to read your disinterest. They just don't want to, and that is a sure sign of arrogance. That's exactly the nimrod I had in mind.

I think they just don't want to. They're usually desperate people.

[Danielinheels]

Can't say I didn't try. Problem is dressing to stay cool in guys clothes tends to look dumpy wiether its on a guy or a gal. Men just don't have good clothing options.

Fixed your post :drinking:

[Shafted]

You got that right. Kinda like what Henry Ford said about the model T. "You can have it in any color as long as it's black."

[Wolfgang]

You got that right.

Kinda like what Henry Ford said about the model T.

"You can have it in any color as long as it's black."

:drinking:

[jmc]

Although toward the end of the production run Model T's were available in colors other than black. Production switched over to the Model A in 1929 and A's were always available in several colors. Apparently Ford eventually perceived a demand for a little bit of variety.

[Dawn HH]

JMC:-) I think that you will find that the Model "A" Fords were designed and became available in late 27 as 28 models. Between 28 and 31, Ford produced and sold 5,000,000,000 Model "A" Fords of various body styles and colors. It is estimated that 1,000,000,000 are still on the roads today. And now, back to the subject at hand. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Adeana]

enough of cars!...back to helping her with her summer wardrobe crisis! I like wearing the sleeveless cotton summer mini-dresses, and if you want to feel a little riske', then get the kind that are a little tighter around the chest or waist with the elastictype material. They are loose and you can wear pretty much any type footwear from ropey-sandals to a pair of 5" solid heel strappy mules. Bottoms?: Capris are really nice and there are some great cuts, no matter how you are built, and some really attractive patterns. Cotton or linen mini skirts are really great too. Some have the layered look, or even have an over lay of lace or something to add to the style. Most are the layered-LOOK, and not really layered so they are cool for the summer. There are so many types of shorts out there that it depends on your butt and hips. Anything from khacki loos shorts to tight low-rider tight jean shorts. Depends on your style Tops?: SO many stylish tops that criss-sross in the front, back, or bare midriff, or over the shoulders that no matter what type you get it seems unique. White goes great with a nice tan. If you are more pale, then a black or dark marroon goes very well. Under-sized T-shirts are always great to wear. Most have the spandex-type material in them so the stretch and fit to your body. There are so many different colors and prints that there has to be a few to fit your style. Belly shirts and tube-type tops are great if you are comfortable wearing them and you can get some that fit you nice. They are great on a hot summer day and you don't mind showing a little skin. OK...I will stop....! Sorry for turning this into a PERSONAL FASHION RAVE!....hehehe Adeana

[azraelle]

If she wants to fade into the background as much as possible, I think she should concentrate on non-descript colors such as beige or loden green, at least from the waist up, and not necessarily loose, but non-stiff fabrics below, e.g. without "drape", e.g. the antithesis of denim, e.g. draping qualities similar to gauze. least-noticable to dirty old (and young) men.