just discovered my boyfriend wears women's shoes...

[Guest]

Do you know how happy I am to have found this site? I have recently discovered that my boyfriend likes to wear women's shoes...but he has no idea that i know this. I knew he had a thing for heels, because he often comments on mine, but that was no shock. A few weeks ago I was using his computer and as I typed in a URL a sexy shoe website popped up. I laughed...figured he liked looking at pictures of women in high heels, but when I checked out the site on my home computer it was a site for buying heels. I thought...maybe it just came up in his search for shoe porn ... Then, 2 weeks ago there was a new site--one that only sells womens clothing and in his history it showed that he had placed an order. Add this to tons of Ebay searches for women's shoes in a size that would fit him, and I'm pretty convinced that he's secretly wearing women's shoes. I love him dearly and while this did come as a bit of a shock, it's not something that would cause me to end our relationship. Because of some other discussions we've had, I think it would not be a bad thing if he became comfortable enough with me to tell me about it on his own, but I'm just not ready to go to him and say "Where's your shoe stash? Any that would fit me?" I saw some of the styles he was looking at (don't know what he ordered) and I have actually started wearing some similar styles around him just to see if there is any reaction. I wore a pair the other day that I don't think he'd seen before, and I noticed him checking them out twice--once when I arrived wearing them, and again after I had taken them off. I can see some benefits to this--his feet aren't all that bigger than mine, so I might be able to wear some of them. Also, I like it when he wears shoes that make him even taller than me, so I might not object to him wearing them when it's just the two of us at home. I'm curious...guys, how did your girlfriends/wives find out. Do you want them to know if they don't already?? Girls, how do I make this easy for him without making him think I think he's a freak (because I don't think he's a freak...everyone has their quirks I guess). (Oh, and if you think I'm your girlfriend, I probably wouldn't advise showing up in shoes--just in case you're wrong, but I want to talk about it. Maybe I'll come up with a signal for you to use that only I would recognize. I'm actually more concerned about what you think about me looking at the stuff on your computer. It was completely innocent. You know I could easily do real snooping if I wanted to, but I wouldn't do that. I love and respect you too much.)

[Danielinheels]

Text from le's first post. Le752 Comfy Loafer Comfy Loafer Joined: 13 Mar 2006 Posts: 14 Post Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 2:37 pm Post subject: just discovered my boyfriend wears women's shoes...Reply with quote Do you know how happy I am to have found this site? I have recently discovered that my boyfriend likes to wear women's shoes...but he has no idea that i know this. I knew he had a thing for heels, because he often comments on mine, but that was no shock. A few weeks ago I was using his computer and as I typed in a URL a sexy shoe website popped up. I laughed...figured he liked looking at pictures of women in high heels, but when I checked out the site on my home computer it was a site for buying heels. I thought...maybe it just came up in his search for shoe porn ... Then, 2 weeks ago there was a new site--one that only sells womens clothing and in his history it showed that he had placed an order. Add this to tons of Ebay searches for women's shoes in a size that would fit him, and I'm pretty convinced that he's secretly wearing women's shoes. I love him dearly and while this did come as a bit of a shock, it's not something that would cause me to end our relationship. Because of some other discussions we've had, I think it would not be a bad thing if he became comfortable enough with me to tell me about it on his own, but I'm just not ready to go to him and say "Where's your shoe stash? Any that would fit me?" I saw some of the styles he was looking at (don't know what he ordered) and I have actually started wearing some similar styles around him just to see if there is any reaction. I wore a pair the other day that I don't think he'd seen before, and I noticed him checking them out twice--once when I arrived wearing them, and again after I had taken them off. I can see some benefits to this--his feet aren't all that bigger than mine, so I might be able to wear some of them. Also, I like it when he wears shoes that make him even taller than me, so I might not object to him wearing them when it's just the two of us at home. I'm curious...guys, how did your girlfriends/wives find out. Do you want them to know if they don't already?? Girls, how do I make this easy for him without making him think I think he's a freak (because I don't think he's a freak...everyone has their quirks I guess). (Oh, and if you think I'm your girlfriend, I probably wouldn't advise showing up in shoes--just in case you're wrong, but I want to talk about it. Maybe I'll come up with a signal for you to use that only I would recognize. I'm actually more concerned about what you think about me looking at the stuff on your computer. It was completely innocent. You know I could easily do real snooping if I wanted to, but I wouldn't do that. I love and respect you too much.) end of Le's post, Danielle wrote. I would want the girl to know early. Of course this isn't always possible. For instance, if I were with a REALLY short girl, I'd probably put away the idea of wearing heels, because she would want to wear them to keep up with me, only to have me going further past her... lol At this point, you know what you know, so you have two very polarized options: Either 1) you can ask him to spill the beans, or 2) you can gently "coax" it out if him. The second option leaves the both of you with a lot of control over what is immediately revealed. He can talk at his own pace and you can make him feel more comfortable as he talks. In the end, it is compusory to remember that his liking to women's shoes is not a crime - it harms no one, and wearing women's shoes probably makes him feel good. You, as a girlfriend, also make him feel good. Try to help incorporate styles that he likes into his daily wardrobe - tasteful, appropriate stuff that he would look nice in, and save the "extra" stuff for when it's just the two of you. You can PM me if you have any questions. (fwiw I'm a guy.)

[DeSalto]

Le752, Couldn´t understand why are you so afraid of telling him what have you discovered, since your acceptance are the dream of a man in love with heels. To be honest, you sound to me as a man pretending to pass a woman. Anyway, if you´re really who you say, I´ll give you a sugestion: buy a pair of heels in his number and give it to him as a present, just saying that you have a fantasy of seeing him in heels. And do not tell him that you "invaded" his computer... By the way, don´t forget to tell us his reaction! DeSalto

[larry]

Hello le752. Glad that you didnt freak out. My wife knows about my thing for wearing high heels and has no problem with it with in reason. No heels in public or in front of company ect ect. I sincerely wish you two the best and hope that you can share in his harmless fetish........Larry B.

[Dawn HH]

Le952:-) Try DeSalto's suggestion and let us all know what happens. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[sscotty727]

I wouldn't exactly tell him you have a fantasy of seeing men in heels if you don't. This could open the door of him wearing heels more than your comfortable with (he would feel like he was fulfilling your desires, etc). You might want to just bring up in casual conversation that you saw a man wearing heels today and you didn't think it looked too bad. You could then just ask if he would ever consider wearng heels like that and when he says yes, tell him ok, let's do it. From there you can have open conversations and maybe even nice shopping excursions.

[NewfieGuyInHeels]

Hey Le752. I'm a 24 year old guy and I'm into the heel thing myself. I'm pretty open with it. And the only advice I can give you is what I would want if I was in your bf's place. I would want you to just tell me the truth. and the sooner the better. Tell him exactly what you told us. That you don't mind it, but if you do have any boundries you wanna set discuss it with him.Don't go into theatrics, or stories or anything. Just tell him that you came across the sites on his comp, etc, etc. The fact that you seem so at ease with the idea of him wearing them with you makes him a very lucky guy. I live in a place that doesn't have alot of ppl expressing their own style in unique ways. So if I was to find a girl as accepting as you, I'd considder myself VERY lucky as well. But anyway, i'm rambling. In short, just be honest. Start at the beginning and work your way to now. And the sooner the better. I fully believe he'll feel such a weight come off his shoulders. Good Luck!

[Shafted]

I can't speak for all guys, but if it were me I'd be elated if you spoke up about it and get it into the open. But then again that's probably my self confidence speaking. In any case be gentle and show even mild encouragement so as to not make him uncomfortable.

inbetween shafted's posts, Le wrote

le752

Comfy Loafer

Comfy Loafer

Joined: 13 Mar 2006

Posts: 14

Post Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 6:04 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks everyone!

Hmm. Last time I checked I was 100% woman. That's funny...I've never been confused with a man (wait--once, when I was 12 and had this really bad short hair cut. I came home from school and took off the big flower earrings I had been wearing all day. Someone stopped at our house to use the phone and said to my mom "So you have just these two sons?)

Anyway, your responses are a big help. This is the kind of thing I want to talk to someone about, but there is no WAY I could ever approach the subject with someone I know.

As for my comfort level, I'd have to say it would definitely be an in-private kind of thing; like I don't mind it around me, but not around anyone else. I think I'd be too chicken to give him a pair of shoes, because I think that would really freak him out.

I had several bad dreams last night. Each involved him confronting me with things he wanted to try, one which scared me enough to wake me up shaking. I figure that his wearing shoes is no where near as bad or scary as those dreams!

I think gentle coaxing is probably going to be the way to go. I don't fantasize about men in heels, and I would probably just do my best to ignore the fact that he was wearing them. I do fear that saying so could lead to things I'm much less comfortable with.

[Guest]

Thanks everyone! Hmm. Last time I checked I was 100% woman. That's funny...I've never been confused with a man (wait--once, when I was 12 and had this really bad short hair cut. I came home from school and took off the big flower earrings I had been wearing all day. Someone stopped at our house to use the phone and said to my mom "So you have just these two sons?) Anyway, your responses are a big help. This is the kind of thing I want to talk to someone about, but there is no WAY I could ever approach the subject with someone I know. As for my comfort level, I'd have to say it would definitely be an in-private kind of thing; like I don't mind it around me, but not around anyone else. I think I'd be too chicken to give him a pair of shoes, because I think that would really freak him out. I had several bad dreams last night. Each involved him confronting me with things he wanted to try, one which scared me enough to wake me up shaking. I figure that his wearing shoes is no where near as bad or scary as those dreams! I think gentle coaxing is probably going to be the way to go. I don't fantasize about men in heels, and I would probably just do my best to ignore the fact that he was wearing them. I do fear that saying so could lead to things I'm much less comfortable with.

[Shafted]

Just make sure he understands your limits, and he'll probably be willing to stay within the lines.

[sscotty727]

le752,

Try the "guess what I saw today while shopping" line to broach the subject.

Good luck,

Scotty

PS: Having a wife that also has fears, it sounds like your fears are more about him becoming too female etc. Read my thread here for the reverse discussion on the topic.

inbetween scotty's posts, le wrote

le752

Comfy Loafer

Comfy Loafer

Joined: 13 Mar 2006

Posts: 14

Post Posted: Mon Mar 13, 2006 7:30 pm Post subject: Reply with quote

Can you guys tell me some of the reasons why you like to wear heels?

He's 6'1" and seems to be into wedge/platform/slip-on type things rather than stillettos. Maybe that's just easier to fit into. (Of course, until I see his collection I won't know that for sure).

Maybe I can see if he's into Eddie Izzard...

[Guest]

Can you guys tell me some of the reasons why you like to wear heels? He's 6'1" and seems to be into wedge/platform/slip-on type things rather than stillettos. Maybe that's just easier to fit into. (Of course, until I see his collection I won't know that for sure). Maybe I can see if he's into Eddie Izzard...

[sscotty727]

I can't speak for all guys, but.... Go try on a pair of men's shoes, then try on a pair of heels. They just feel better, fit better. Men's shoes tend to be too big (even in your size) and feel about the same as wearing the boxes they come in on your feet. Women's shoes feel more fitting and nicer. I also love the feeling of wearing with your foot in an arch.

[Guest]

That's funny Scotty. Last night I slipped my feet into a pair of his loafers just to compare shoe sizes. I can completely understand that comparison.

[Shafted]

I like heels for the looks of them, but I have also enjoyed the health benefits of wearing them. They have virtually cured my lower back pain as well as arch pain that I used to have. I tend to wear stilettos, as I find that a properly designed stiletto heel is just easier to walk in than a chuncky heel. I think that it has something to do with the impact point being directly below ones heel rather than behind it. Quite franky I feel super confident when I wear my heels in public, which has a lot to do with peoples perceptions of me.

[NewfieGuyInHeels]

For me, in the beginning, I just liked the idea of having more of a variety. Mens shoes are basicly sneakers, casuals, and sandals. And boots are more work oriented than fashion. Incorperating women's shoes into my wardrobe opened up more possibilities. But I've noticed that (where I'm only 5'5) obviously I look taller, but my legs and body seem more in proportion and slimmer. My taste is more for chunky heels and platforms. I tried the stiletto and slimmer heels, but I just don't think it's for me. And besides, platforms were in style in the 70's for guys, so I'm just enjoying a style I missed out on. Feel free to message me, I'd be more than happy to email ya pics of outfits I've put together.

[heelsRus]

Why? Well, the gait - slower, more relaxed (and I can certainly do with some relaxation), more confident, sexier, the feel, the fit (mens shoes just suck), ... plenty more reasons. Any else notice that mens shoes are getting wider, heavier, and generally more Ronald McDonald styled lately? Womens shoes are sleeker and nicer. And the heel helps my back and arch - not the 6" heel but thr 3.5" heel is about the perfect height for comfort. There are several good suggestions in this thread. You've got one lucky guy (and I'm sure he'll appreciate it if he's got half a brain). If you start a conversation about heels, clothing (and equality of same - i.e. blandness of mens clothing/shoes) you may find you have to press a bit to overcome some initial hesistation/mistrust, but once you do... well, hopefully it turns out well for all concerned. The nice part is that since you're willing to indulge him on this, he's more likely to indulge you on your "quirks". It's really a win-win situation. Good luck, have fun and keep your stick on the ice :-) (sorry, could resist the Red Green reference)

[Danielinheels]

Can you guys tell me some of the reasons why you like to wear heels?

He's 6'1" and seems to be into wedge/platform/slip-on type things rather than stillettos. Maybe that's just easier to fit into. (Of course, until I see his collection I won't know that for sure).

Maybe I can see if he's into Eddie Izzard...

6'1"? That's it? What a shorty... lol

All jokes aside, I go about 6'5", give or take an inch. I like wearing heels (and other women's styles) because:

1) I hate shoelaces

2) I hate heavy shoes

3) I hate how boring men's shoes are

4) Women's shoes are generally cheaper

5) I wanted to expand my style

You could argue that they make men's slip-on shoes... until you consider #2. Men's slip-on shoes tend to be unusually heavy (even moreso than platform shoes and wedges), and in most cases are plain-up ugly... which is issue #3. I can stay away from "dainty" women's shoes and still end up with something far more stylish, which fits me well, and looks nice on me. I have confidence that the look fits me well despite shopping on "the other side" of the racks, because I know what I will and won't do in accordance to my personal style. Women's shoes tend to allow for much greater expansion into style, even without ever touching another article of women's clothing (tops, skirts, etc.).

Of course I don't wear exclusively women's shoes; I wouldn't even expect women to wear only "girly" women's shoes. I do, however, understand that there is a time and a place for every style.

It would be very possible to group together:

(hat optional)

and have it look presentable.

Again, feel free to PM or email me if you have any more specific questions.

[shakala]

Hi,

I'm pretty much the same height as ur bf and I wear/prefer 5 inch stiletto knee high boots.

I tried the chucky heels, but felt that it made my foot look way too big.

As far as trying to tell/discuss with your bf, try the same as I did. I bought identical boots for me and my wife. I gave them to her and said I bought ones for me. Although my wife is no as open minded as you.

So get yourself a pair of boots you like and think might go well on ur bf, then show him ur 'new' boots and out of the blue suggest that these might also go well on him (ie you've seen elsewhere on TV or the net etc). This then leads/opens the door into you admitting you had suspicions about his like for heels.

Le replied with

le752

Comfy Loafer

Comfy Loafer

Joined: 13 Mar 2006

Posts: 14

Post Posted: Tue Mar 14, 2006 8:17 am Post subject: Reply with quote

I was so tempted to put my shoes on him last night... We were sitting on opposite ends of the couch and I started giving him a foot massage. He made some comment about his little feet and I put our feet sole to sole to compare sizes--his are just slightly larger. My shoes were on the floor next to the couch and I considered trying one on his foot, but I just didn't have the nerve.

slowly, slowly.

[Guest]

I was so tempted to put my shoes on him last night... We were sitting on opposite ends of the couch and I started giving him a foot massage. He made some comment about his little feet and I put our feet sole to sole to compare sizes--his are just slightly larger. My shoes were on the floor next to the couch and I considered trying one on his foot, but I just didn't have the nerve. slowly, slowly.

[ShockQueen]

It sounds like you're at least having fun working your way up to it. I would think buying a nice pair of boots in both your sizes might be a nice way to break the ice as well. The only thing that might be a "downer" is if he gets elated that you are OK with him wearing them, and then telling him that it's only OK at certain times......but that's hard to tell. He may only be wanting to wear them at those times. It may take some experimentation back and forth, but the results in the end will be well worth it.

[sscotty727]

LE, I am probably going to upset some people here, but unless it is your fantasy to see him in heels, I wouldn't go about buying him heels. If your intent is to see if he does enjoy them and let him know you can accept it, I think the best approach is to just talk about it with him. If you buy him heels, you are sending him the message you WANT him in heels. If that is what you want, by all means go buy him a pair, but if that isn't the message you want to send, I would advise against that route. As far as bringing up the topic, if your uncomfortable telling him you noticed things in his cache (and I can understand your feelings of worrying that you might have violated his trust and make him suspect you are spying on him), then there are other ways. For example, you could say you were shoe shopping the other day and this guy came in and was trying on women's shoes. While you thought it a little odd at first, you didn't think it was anything major and the guy infact didn't look bad in them. Or you could mention any of the many male performers out there that wear heels. Just mention them and say "would you ever consider wearing them?". Or even, some day have him rub your feet (and trust me, if he is anything like most guys in here, that will be a treat for him as well as you!), just say "you don't know what it is like wearing heels all day. I bet you couldn't last an hour in them" and then offer to let him wear yours as the bet. Etc. Anyway, I think you need to just bring it up in conversation and gage his reaction. From there you can talk more openly about it. Once things are out in the open, then if you want to buy him certain boots or heels, that would be fine. But I would wait until you get this out in the open first. Scotty

[Fog]

It takes a lot of guts to tell your partner you wear, I know for me it was a very scary time. Obviously secrets are no good for a relationship, but of course it goes through your mind that opening up could be the end.

[sscotty727]

Scotty - I have to disagree with you. I would love for my wife to come home and surprise me with some heels. It does not have to mean that she wants to see me in heels, but that she is accepting of my desire to wear them and as such will even buy them for me. I still think my wife does not fully accept me wearing heels, and if she were to actually buy me some and surprise, that would make me conclude that she finally accepts me in heels. I would never assume it was her fantasy to see me in them unless she told me so.

Lorilegs,

My point is that ONCE everything is in the open, etc, then sure, buying heels would be fine. However, if say I thought my wife didn't know I like to wear heels and one day I came home and she surprised me with a pair of heels, I would think she was into me wearing heels and wanted me to wear heels. This doesn't sound like the case in this instance. It sounds more like she suspects he likes heels and needs to find out if infact that is the case and then let him know she is OK with it. Now if the title of the thread was "how can I get my BF to wear heels", then sure, buying heels would be fine. However, that is not what she has been saying all along.

I think most of us have been trying to push our fantasy onto her of having the wife/gf come home with a pair of heels instead of reading her actual question and offering advice based on HER situation.

Scotty

[Fog]

Lorilegs,

My point is that ONCE everything is in the open, etc, then sure, buying heels would be fine. However, if say I thought my wife didn't know I like to wear heels and one day I came home and she surprised me with a pair of heels, I would think she was into me wearing heels and wanted me to wear heels. This doesn't sound like the case in this instance. It sounds more like she suspects he likes heels and needs to find out if infact that is the case and then let him know she is OK with it. Now if the title of the thread was "how can I get my BF to wear heels", then sure, buying heels would be fine. However, that is not what she has been saying all along.

I think most of us have been trying to push our fantasy onto her of having the wife/gf come home with a pair of heels instead of reading her actual question and offering advice based on HER situation.

Scotty

I'm sure LE knows she's getting opinions and that after reading everything we've conributed she has to sift what's been said and the decision's hers to make.

For me Mrs.F coming home with a pair of 3" boots showed me that she accepted me. This was after a few shock horror moments. The first was when I asked to try on a pair of her silk trousers. Nothing was said until we were shopping in H&M and she picked out a pair of trousers and said "How about these for you?"

I'm not daft, I know she's not wildly keen on street heeling, stilettos and any form of exposed heel out with her is a no no, and that's nothing to do with not liking me in heels. But I know she loves and accepts me for who I am - quirks and all.

[sscotty727]

For me Mrs.F coming home with a pair of 3" boots showed me that she accepted me. This was after a few shock horror moments. The first was when I asked to try on a pair of her silk trousers. Nothing was said until we were shopping in H&M and she picked out a pair of trousers and said "How about these for you?"

I'm not daft, I know she's not wildly keen on street heeling, stilettos and any form of exposed heel out with her is a no no, and that's nothing to do with not liking me in heels. But I know she loves and accepts me for who I am - quirks and all.

Again, this was AFTER the subject was broached, not you coming home one day and being blind sided with her standing there with a pair of heels and you not knowing she knew, right?

My point AGAIN is, LE asked how she could broach the topic with her BF and find out IF he is infact into heels. Bear in mind, up to this point it is a theory, not a fact. IF he had told her and she freaked and then was asking how she could show her support and all, then your suggestion of buying him heels would be 100% valid.

Right now she has no confirmation he does infact like to wear heels other than some links in a cache on a computer. That can be anything. I was offering her advice on how she can find out the answer to that question, directly or not on how to even determine if her hunch is correct. She can be blunt and just ask, or she can find out indirectly by bringing up the topic in other ways.

If it turns out her hunch is correct, then the next step of her buying him heels (if she wants to that is) would be fine. But in my opinion, jumping the gun and buying him heels before she even knows could do 1 of 3 things.

1) It turns out he is into heels and everything is fine as you all suggested.

2) It turns out he is into heels and takes the gift to mean she WANTS him in heels

3) It turns out her hunch was wrong and now he thinks she is strange

I think until she finds out one way or the other and the two have a chance to talk openly about it etc, her just showing up with heels is not a good idea.

Again, this is only my opinion, and as you said, LE will do whatever she thinks is appropriate, afterall, only she knows him and the circumstances better than any of us, but I think based on what she has said so far and what her actual question was, talk is the best option at this point.

Scotty

[sscotty727]

Lorilegs, That is why I suggested she try to confirm first if he IS into heels:) I still think a great way, if she doesn't want to point blank ask him, is to just make a comment about her feet hurting and then say something like "guys always seems to like see women in heels but I bet they wouldn't last an hour in a pair" and see if he jumps at the chance to wear them:) It could be fun, break the ice and give her the confirmation she needs. If he takes her up on the bet, great. If he backs away and says "no thanks" well, there you go. This way she isn't trying to push him into revealing anything but gives him an easy opening to take her up on it. Scotty

[Dawn HH]

Le752:-)

You may have missed an excellent opportunity to try your heels on your B/F's feet while messaging his. That may have given the answer to your original question. You need to know that answer before going to the next step.

Cheers---

Dawn HH

le wrote

So much to digest...I really appreciate every bit of it.

But guess what? I bought shoes today. They're 11's but they pretty much fit me, so I just have to decide if I want to wear them over or give them to him one of these days.

As for the boot thing, I went to DSW because I had a coupon, and there are no boots to be seen in this part of the country right now. Plus, it wasn't boots that showed up in all of his ebay searches or in his shopping cart. I went for something more springy.

As for how I know he wears heels (or at least owns them or is about to own them), is because in addition to the items viewed, there was an order summary page (couldn't see the order because it required a login) and a UPS tracking page.

All day today I was composing a letter in my head to give to him along with the shoes (assuming I gave them to him as a surprise).

As for bringing up the torture of wearing high heels, I am in a profession where I wear the most unattractive unisex yet comfy clogs all day, so it's a nice break for me to wear more sexy shoes, but I will definitely take another opportunity to give him a foot massage--maybe I'll be braver next time.

If I do give him the heels, I'm going to make it clear that I'm doing it to let him know that I don't think he's a freak, but that it's not going to turn me on.

[Guest]

So much to digest...I really appreciate every bit of it. But guess what? I bought shoes today. They're 11's but they pretty much fit me, so I just have to decide if I want to wear them over or give them to him one of these days. As for the boot thing, I went to DSW because I had a coupon, and there are no boots to be seen in this part of the country right now. Plus, it wasn't boots that showed up in all of his ebay searches or in his shopping cart. I went for something more springy. As for how I know he wears heels (or at least owns them or is about to own them), is because in addition to the items viewed, there was an order summary page (couldn't see the order because it required a login) and a UPS tracking page. All day today I was composing a letter in my head to give to him along with the shoes (assuming I gave them to him as a surprise). As for bringing up the torture of wearing high heels, I am in a profession where I wear the most unattractive unisex yet comfy clogs all day, so it's a nice break for me to wear more sexy shoes, but I will definitely take another opportunity to give him a foot massage--maybe I'll be braver next time. If I do give him the heels, I'm going to make it clear that I'm doing it to let him know that I don't think he's a freak, but that it's not going to turn me on.

[sscotty727]

LE, As I said before, only you know him and the situation best, so only you can judge the best way to handle things. I hope it all goes well and your able to work it all out. The best thing is your open minded and positive, so that will go a LONG way. Scotty