Heels in Middle America

[Magickman]

It was a very heely weekend for Cindi and me, from Saturday afternoon, till Monday evening. We were out and about; dancing, eating, drinking, shopping, and touring, visiting a number of small towns, near the Minnesota-Wisconsin border. At Cindi's urging, I finally made it into the nail salon, and got my first manicure, with sparkly blue nail polish. I wore black leather boots with 4" heels, and three gold hoops in each ear punctuated my look. The gist of it was that I was not trying to pass as an average Joe. We went dancing in a college age bar with a live band, and the crowd was totally cool. About the only reaction was from the band's guitar player, who said, "Holy Shit!" The point is, that fears of adverse reaction seem completely unwarranted. Cindi calls our little excursions mini-vacations, as we play tourist in a variety of locations. Just for example, in North Branch, Minnesota, we stopped in a public park, to view an exhibition of ice sculptures. While we were there, two ladies stopped me, handed me their camera, and asked me to take their picture in front of an ice sculpture of an eagle. Most people just don't care what sort of boots that anyone else is wearing. I take note that many of the guys who post at hhplace, worry about heeling in public. From my experience, this is a total non-issue. Whether it is heels, earrings, nail polish, or whatever, folks do not seem to care about it, and are friendly with me, almost everywhere. So I would pose the question to other heel wearing men. Does anyone actually give you any crap about wearing heels? If so, under what circumstances does that occur?

[Thighboots2]

Magickman, I guess not as in my experience, nobody cares what's on my feet, as long as it looks co-ordinated. Sounds like you had a fun outing and respect for shocking the gituar player

TB2

[Shafted]

So I would pose the question to other heel wearing men. Does anyone actually give you any crap about wearing heels? If so, under what circumstances does that occur?

I have never recieved any "crap". Honest questions and comments, sure, but not "crap".

[xaphod]

.

At Cindi's urging, I finally made it into the nail salon, and got my first manicure, with sparkly blue nail polish. I wore black leather boots with 4" heels, and three gold hoops in each ear punctuated my look.

The gist of it was that I was not trying to pass as an average Joe.

Yup .... bang on target. If your whole look is a bit out of the ordinary, then the heels don't stand out so much.

.The point is, that fears of adverse reaction seem completely unwarranted.

So I would pose the question to other heel wearing men. Does anyone actually give you any crap about wearing heels? If so, under what circumstances does that occur?

Unfortunately so. Teenage kids are the worst. They have such a rigid dress-code that they can allow none to be different. I was at the Birmingham bullring shopping centre with Calv a while back when a couple of youths saw my heels (4" blocks, nothing mega) and shouted out 'gay boy'.

They didn't quite expect me turning around and using my thick, rough northern accent (the one I was brought up speaking in a hard northern coal and steel town, before I left, dumped the accent and the stigma) to suggest that they might 'have their f****ing faces reprogrammed'.

Xa

[jo]

The all look the same, and walk the same, 'cus they're all inbreds.

[tuckedintoboots]

im wearing my blade heel boots with skinny black pants tucked into them with grey long sleve thermal shirt as I type this reponse!! yeah thats the stupid teens for you, all of them seem to be clones!!! as to myself, I could really care LESS what any teens may think (unless it is positive ofcourse, along side the verbal reponse that is same) as Ive said before in here I really do not CARE if ANY one calls me "gayboy" "faggot" or the like-cause thats what the hell I am!! (& damn proud of it too, just like my boots that I wear as well!!) gee wiz folks life is just too short to care about what the world may think of your clothes fashion tast, from boots to earings to what ever!!

[vector]

Yeah, I hear you all. After all, we never did anything like that in our teeh years... Following a style just to be part of a crowd. Just to be in. We were different! (SURE!!!)

[Danielinheels]

I can agree with that, but there's no reasoning behind being rude, obnoxious, or just downright cruel. I'd expect for, say, a 6-year-old girl who is closer to the ground to notice a man in women's shoes and make a comment. However, older kids/teenagers in particular should have better decorum and thus know how to tactfully respond to seeing something out of the "norm" lest they say nothing at all. Over time I've found that guys are worse at being decent than girls, though some girls can be rather abrasive as well. Similarly, you'll find guys who won't bat an eyelash.

[Dawn HH]

My outfits must be well coordinated as I have had a few looks, but not one comment either way, for or against. Cheers--- Dawn HH

[Guest]

I take note that many of the guys who post at hhplace, worry about heeling in public. From my experience, this is a total non-issue. Whether it is heels, earrings, nail polish, or whatever, folks do not seem to care about it, and are friendly with me, almost everywhere.

I think most people look like they don't care because they don't want to be rude. You have to look beyond the superficial. People will compliment you if they really do like what you wear, but most people will say nothing if they don't like what you wear. You can tell what is acceptable in public by how the media presents it. Look at what advertisements on the televison say, they tell us what the public really wants. You never see ads telling men to wear high heels. Look in the fashion magazines, they never promote men to wear high heels. That's a strong hint that the most of the public doesn't want men to wear high heels. If you're going to judge how you look only by what people say to you then that's being a bit shortsighted.

[davefry]

elyssium: Ignorance is bliss. Why should we care? I'm getting quite frustrated that I can't just wear what shoes I like, and I'm almost tempted to just say "fuck it", and wear what I want. If anyone says anything, I'll just hit 'em.

[kneehighs]

I think most people look like they don't care because they don't want to be rude. You have to look beyond the superficial. People will compliment you if they really do like what you wear, but most people will say nothing if they don't like what you wear.

So you are saying that you can read most people's minds?

1. We can guess the thoughts of some people, with some accuracy, some of the time. It seems to me that you are drawing conclusions about what someone else would think based on what you think in that same position. Sadly, that is men in heels is a negative reality.

2. Such thought reading could also limit conclusions to being based on past behavior. In the past, the world believed the earth was flat and believed that big boulders would fall to the ground faster than small pebbles. Each time the views of the world evolved to accomodate new information too.

3. It also seems to me that such mind reading reaches conclusions based on low expectations -- writing the end of the story first. Its like one sorts all cues and clues through a biased filter that prematurely conclude the data is negative.

4. Such mind reading also draws conclusion based on insufficient data. Maybe some people just aren't interested in footwear no matter what the context. That doesn't prove they don't like the reality of a man in heels.

5. Maybe such a conclusion ignores cultural or personality differences of individuals. Some cultures and countries are naturally quiet and reserved towards their neighbors, regardless if what they think is positive.

6. Maybe one could misread visual or verbal cues. Maybe that lemon sucking expression of a person is caused by something else they are thinking about. Though one might correctly read the mood, one risks misdiagnosing the cause.

You can tell what is acceptable in public by how the media presents it. Look at what advertisements on the televison say, they tell us what the public really wants. You never see ads telling men to wear high heels. Look in the fashion magazines, they never promote men to wear high heels. That's a strong hint that the most of the public doesn't want men to wear high heels. If you're going to judge how you look only by what people say to you then that's being a bit shortsighted.

This is classical ad ignorantium (appeal to ignorance) thinking. This claims that something is false only because it hasn't been proved true. This claim treats the absence of positive feedback as negative feedback.

In some cases in life, such thinking may be useful: gun safety for example. Even in the absence of evidence that a gun is loaded, people often act as if it is loaded--to be safe.

I think most of us have found that the most important mind to read is our own. And that mind says that a man in high heels is acceptable, attractive, and a good thing in general.

[Wolford]

So I would pose the question to other heel wearing men. Does anyone actually give you any crap about wearing heels? If so, under what circumstances does that occur?

[Guest]

So you're saying that because something hasn't been proved false has to be true. That doesn't make sense either. I can give you a lengthy list of my experiences where what I said in my previous post are true, but you won't believe me anyways so I won't bother giving my list. It sounds like to me what you really want to say is you don't care what others think of you, you wear what makes you comfortable even if others think you look like a fool. Being I'm a bit sensitive, I am quite concerened how others think of me.

[kneehighs]

So you're saying that because something hasn't been proved false has to be true. That doesn't make sense either. I can give you a lengthy list of my experiences where what I said in my previous post are true, but you won't believe me anyways so I won't bother giving my list.

Actually, thats not what I am saying at all. Im saying that because you can't mind read all the time with all people with perfect accuracy, that mind reading what others think is a waste of energy and time. You can go ahead and gamble your time and energy on what others think. I won't. I have better things to invest myself in. Things with sure rewards, like my own attitude. As the old saying goes, "attitude determines altitude." Except in our case, the heels make it literally true. And as far as your lengthy list is concerned, go right ahead. Bring it on.

It sounds like to me what you really want to say is you don't care what others think of you, you wear what makes you comfortable even if others think you look like a fool. Being I'm a bit sensitive, I am quite concerened how others think of me.

Thats partially true. I can't control what others may say about my heels, but I have enough faith in myself and my abilities to believe I can handle anything that life throws at me.

Your problem is that your fear of failure is greater than your desire to succeed. Until you overcome your "fear of fear," your street heeling attempts will amount to very little. Once you realize that pushing through the fear is actually less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from your feeling of helplessness, you will be on the right track.