kneehighs Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Besides that men are in the in power group downward assimilating with the out of power group of women by wearing heels (and downward assimilation is culturally rejected) here is another line of reasoning. I originally wrote this for the thread at the Fashion Spot on men in heels, so you can read others responses to it there as well: My opinion is that it’s not so much the high heels in and of themselves that women object to, but the feelings that women get from wearing high heels that women have learned to be an exclusive feminine experience. Just as life events really have no meaning until you ascribe meaning to the event, high heels in and of themselves really have no meaning until women learn to ascribe meaning to wearing them. And what is that meaning? I think it begins at a really early age with exposure to mom’s meaning, the media’s meaning, and friend’s meaning of what it means to wear high heels. But the most powerful seeds begin to be deeply planted during adolescence. It is an age when girls start dressing to be sexy. Girls are desperate for boys’ attention and being dressed sexy means to get boys attention. And to get boys attention is to be desired. And to be desired is a very powerful positive emotion. The association of wearing heels with being desired by boys is such a compellingly positive experience in adolescence, that the seeds of this permanent association have been laid for a lifetime. Maybe this is why some think that a man who wears high heels must be gay. The seeds of this association continue to be cultivated during young adulthood when the women is searching for a lifetime mate. The positive early associations of being desired by boys are reinforced again and again as the woman relives the hopes and dreams of being desired by men, of being social, talkative, and flirtative with men… and ultimately of having sex. Sex is a final sweet fruit of this association. Granted, in the post feminist world, women aren’t supposed to admit that wearing high heels is all about seeking male attention. Sure the media may say that woman should choose their clothing/shoes to please themselves, not men. But let’s be honest for a minute. How many women do you know that get all made up (including the heels) to just sit at home on their own? Society has trained women to make themselves attractive by wearing high heels to “attract” someone. So if a man chooses to wear high heels, he is thus presumably trying to be the “attractive” one. Therefore, who is going to desire women if men are now wearing heels? Especially in relationships? Women might be saying to themselves, “Who is going to desire ME if men are now doing what I’ve been doing all my life to be desired?” If a woman’s man is supposedly acting like a woman by wearing high heels, where does that leave her? The man that women want to attract seems to no longer be there. The thing is, while being desirable may be one reason for wearing high heels, there are still other valid reasons that are less culturally taboo for women to share with men. What about just feeling good about oneself? Because the heels enhance the outfit, the slender body shape of a man, the length of his legs, the arch of his posture, the elegance of his gait? No one dresses exclusively to be desired, but also to feel good about themself. Therein lies the ground thats only fair for men to share with women. Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 Some good points here, now for my pennysworth. I don't really think that the tattooed moron who decides to call me a poof from a speeding car is thinking that I'm guilty of "downward assimilation", I doubt he could even pronounce it let alone spell it! I think that he is just a social inadequate who wants to pick on someone because they stand out. The main reason why a small minority think that a man in heels must be gay is because they're associated with women though the 17th century male associated heels with machismo, the bigger the boot the bigger the man and heels gave both stature and sex appeal. Everybody dresses to send a certain signal, sometimes this signal has nothing to do with the actual message sent but we all choose clothes according to what we are seeking to achieve, whether it's to impress a member of the opposite sex or whatever. Whenever I wear heels I don't wonder whever I'm degrading man's status in society, I do it because I like to wear them, it's as simple as that. We could overthink the issue ad infinitim but what we should do is to just go out, do it and enjoy it. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shafted Posted December 18, 2005 Share Posted December 18, 2005 I have found it to be the self confident women who like the sight of a man in heels, while the insecure self concious type tend to frown on it. Which type would you rather attract? I think I'll keep wearing my heels. Shafted, the boots that is! View my gallery here http://www.hhplace.o...afteds-gallery/ or view my heeling thread here http://www.hhplace.org/topic/3850-new-pair-of-boots-starts-me-serious-street-heeling/ - Pm me if you want fashion advice or just need someone to talk to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kneehighs Posted December 18, 2005 Author Share Posted December 18, 2005 ...Whenever I wear heels I don't wonder whever I'm degrading man's status in society, I do it because I like to wear them, it's as simple as that... Neither do I and I hope no one does that is reading this. These are just theories provided in the right time and place that offer possible explanations for social disapproval, thats all. Nothing more, nothing less. Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 All excellent points, guys. I wear heels because I LIKE wearing heels and I will continue wearing them as long as I can walk in them and everyone will have to eventually get used to seeing me in them. It's as simple as that to me. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Magickman Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 Lindsay wrote: "Sometimes it's better if friends and family don't know. I'm a very "behind closed doors" heel wearer." It is unfortunate, I think, that Lindsay is not yet comfortable publicly in heels. This is not a criticism of Lindsay, who presumably knows his own situation best. I took some crap from friends, family, neighbors, strangers, and girlfriends when they saw me in heels, and even got called some names. It wasn't too bad, though, and taught me useful lessons about human nature. By and large, most people don't mind, and I do not have any problems during my frequent episodes of street heeling. My message to Lindsay, and to others similarly situated, is clear and simple. Wearing heels, boots, stilettos, or any other style of footwear is OK. It is not illegal or immoral, not something to be ashamed of. I have some beautiful leather heel boots, that I am very proiud of, and it gives me great pleasure to wear them in public. Taller and more handsome in my knee high stiletto boots, I get many compliments and admiring looks. Our heels are not a vice, deserving of only clandestine and hidden wear. You can hold your head high, in any shoes you might choose to wear. "Why are you wearing high heels?" someone might ask. "Why does one person like catsup and another mustard, or like Ford better than Chevy?" I might reply. "I like them, enjoy the style. And I like the added height, that brings me a few inches closer to heaven." Being open and free in expression and display of our personal style preferences is a legitimate personal freedom. There is nothing wrong with it, even if some people disapprove. Heck, some people still disapprove of slacks on women, or earrings on men. That is their problem, and should not influence us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted December 19, 2005 Share Posted December 19, 2005 My message to Lindsay, and to others similarly situated, is clear and simple. Wearing heels, boots, stilettos, or any other style of footwear is OK. My only addition I would add it, if you are single or your significant (married or dating) is fine with it, then go for it. However, if they aren't fine with it or hesitant, you need to work it out and see if you can come to any compromises. Above all, I strongly urge hiding the fact you wear heels (especially if your married) because it will eventually come out and even though it is a small matter, if you hide/lie about 1 thing, anything, suspecion is there on just about everything. I was fortunate in that I told mine upfront when we dated. I went through alot of rough spots, but today am able to wear heels (not stilletos though) out in public. Scotty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tuckedintoboots Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 well, thats just about sums it folks!! I am single (in fact I'm GAY btw) but I wear heels because I LIKE them on me!! which goes to prove (to those with some brains) that not all men who wear heels ARE gay, & that in turn means not all men who are GAY wear heels & I am in fact gay myself, but NOT because I like to wear heels! (theres that stereotyping again for you) I've found that not all people even LOOK @ my footwear, while with some people thats the 1st thing that they seem to look @!! (& NOTHING else for some strange reason) I just go about my OWN affairs & dont really have time to wonder what all those people that SEE my heels are thinkng about, life is WAY too short for that kind of stuff men still look good with pants tucked into the right boots! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new_look Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 fantastic analysis on how women might percieve men wearing heels, ie making them feel less attractive. It would certainly make sense as women are so obsessed with confidence based on appearence and how they appear against the people around them. good points here folks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 Well, not even necessarily they feel less attractive, but they might see you as more feminine. That was another of my wife's biggest concerns. She doesn't want to see me as "feminine". She said "I am not a lesbian, I married a man not a woman, I don't want to see you look like a woman". That is another reason I wear primarily block/wedge heels and not stilletos. Scotty Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 Actually, women like men to be caring, sensitive and in touch with their feelings. These are all essentially female characteristics... Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sscotty727 Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 Actually, women like men to be caring, sensitive and in touch with their feelings. These are all essentially female characteristics... Funny, I have all those qualities. My wife is the opposite (not that she doesn't care, just I tend to be the more romantic one, she is the one that is clueless on what to buy, etc). Anyway, she reads alot of Romance novels and a guy wearing heels doesn't fit those steriotypes. For example, her favorite TV show is Highlander with Adrian Paul as Duncan McCloud, who she is madly in love with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skirted-UK Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 Actually high heels and skirts are no longer the main items of women's clothing, in fact a lot of women don't own a skirt or high heel shoes and are strongly opposed to wearing them. If you look on some of the women's forums you will find a lot of discussions on this subject. In the link below several women are discussing whether to wear a skirt and high heels to work in the office, but are worried what the other women will say!!! I was surprised how many women were anti skirts and heels, look at the link below, if you didn't know that it was women it could be straight out of the HH/place Forum! http://chat.dailymail.co.uk/dailymail/threadnonInd.jsp?forum=296&thread=9718176&message=11225637 "You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave ! " The Eagles, "Hotel California" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted December 20, 2005 Share Posted December 20, 2005 My opinion is that it’s not so much the high heels in and of themselves that women object to, but the feelings that women get from wearing high heels that women have learned to be an exclusive feminine experience. So true, this has been brought up in the past. Some of them get really pissed or are surprised when they realize it's not really an exclusive club. Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
new_look Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 well about time they got used to shring the things that are good eh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hoverfly Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 well about time they got used to shring the things that are good eh Ooooooooooh yeah! Share and share alike............except they can keep the baby incubator option to them selves. :rofl: Hello, my name is Hoverfly. I’m a high heel addict…. Weeeeeeeeeee! 👠1998 to 2022! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luxxyheels Posted December 21, 2005 Share Posted December 21, 2005 Because people are poopy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted December 22, 2005 Share Posted December 22, 2005 All great postings, guys, and very interesting reading for all. Keep them coming. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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