kneehighs Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 I like to read self help books for pleasure. The other day I was at Barnes and Noble in the Citigroup Center in Midtown reading on various topics: fashion do's and don'ts, new york city dining, and self help. Well, I came across this book by Susan Jeffers PhD, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway. While I felt that alot of her insights apply to our experience of fear in any situation, I thought some of her insights might be useful for those of you who experience the fear of street heeling (outside of your comfort zone that is....some heel all the time only at work, some heel only outside of work etc.)...If anything, these quotes are at least thought provoking. IF YOU KNEW YOU COULD HANDLE ANYTHING THAT CAME YOUR WAY, WHAT WOULD YOU POSSIBLY HAVE TO FEAR? ALL YOU HAVE TO DO TO DIMINISH YOUR FEAR IS TO DEVELOP MORE TRUST IN YOUR ABILITY TO HANDLE WHATEVER COMES YOUR WAY Pushing through fear is less frightening than living with the underlying fear that comes from a feeling of helplessness. If everybody feels fear when approaching something totally new in life, yet so many are out there "doing it" despite the fear, then we must conclude that FEAR IS NOT THE PROBLEM. Feminine Style . Masculine Soul. Skin In The Game. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr. Shoe Posted May 30, 2005 Share Posted May 30, 2005 Yes I've read it. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffB Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 One of, if not the greatest fear that keeps most from street heeling is the unknown, not knowing how the world at large will respond to the sight of a man openly wearing women's shoes. Will you be the victim of double takes, pointed at, hooted at, laughed at, insulted, called derogatory names, or simply left alone. Another fear is the lack of control. Once you're out in the world, you have no control like you would behind closed doors, you have to deal with the public and the many reactions you're bound to get, and those reactions, depending on where you live or want to travel can be extreme. Case in point, I live in the inner city, and black people, especially young black people (i.e. teenagers) aren't at all shy about expressing their opinions about anything and everything they see, often loudly and sometimes profanely. Manners are less than an afterthought to most kids where I live, so they have no fear of retribution for being loudmouthed. To street heelers, that can be a major problem. Yes, fear is a great crippler, but if that fear can be controlled, then success in any given endeavor, including street heeling can be achieved. I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 JeffB:-) I totally agree with your thoughts on the subject. Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXT-1 Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Fear - I have no fear, I just don't see the point of going out in 6"- 7" "stripper" platforms, As it isn't going to make me feel any better, so I won't be attempting it the only crazy thing I'll be doing, will be to drive "The Defect" hard (ie. Sideways!) next time I go up to the farm! :bday: as for fear:... when I am driving/thrashing "The Defect" I WANT to feel it as it tells me if I have F%^ked up! :rofl: later, TXT-1 anyway, back to what the discussion was about before I sidetracked it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn HH Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 TXT-1...Ex-Indianapolis race driver who wins all of his races SIDEWAYS!!! TEE! HEE! Cheers--- Dawn HH High Heeled Boots Forever! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asdf174 Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 ..... Its a tad bit more then that with me I would tend to think. I live in a slightly more dangours neighborhood then most people. (gang activity, drugs, etc...) and these people will mess with you just becasue they are under the influenece and have nothing else better to do. And in a lot of cases some people get beat up. Example and I've told this story on here before but a few years ago right down the street a I saw a gay couple walking down holding hands as they were walking down the street they got to the corner and a bunch of people came out of blue and jumped these guys. And these guys had to be taken to the hospital. So I guess my fear is not really redicule. After all how many bad things have I said about myself? My main fear is just gettng the crap beat out of me or even getting killed because of someone's ignorence. It's all good. ~Arron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Great post Kneehighs! Long time no hear ... I am going to buy the book this weekend! Pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JeffB Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 ..... Its a tad bit more then that with me I would tend to think. I live in a slightly more dangours neighborhood then most people. (gang activity, drugs, etc...) and these people will mess with you just becasue they are under the influenece and have nothing else better to do. And in a lot of cases some people get beat up. Example and I've told this story on here before but a few years ago right down the street a I saw a gay couple walking down holding hands as they were walking down the street they got to the corner and a bunch of people came out of blue and jumped these guys. And these guys had to be taken to the hospital. So I guess my fear is not really redicule. After all how many bad things have I said about myself? My main fear is just gettng the crap beat out of me or even getting killed because of someone's ignorence. I can understand your concern, asdf174. The neighborhood I live in is no less safer. For that reason, I wear sneakers to and from work and wear my heels at the office. Saves me from the very sort of problems you have to deal with. I don't want to LOOK like a woman, I just want to DRESS like a woman! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pam Posted May 31, 2005 Share Posted May 31, 2005 Two kinds of fears 1,- the fear to wear heels in public (controllable) 2.- the fear to get yourself in a bad situation (not controllable) with #2 I mean you cannot control the reactions of mindless people!!! pam Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asdf174 Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 Yeah I'm about the same way. Only I'm not bold enough to wear my heels at work yet But I do have a lot of fun wearing them around my house. It would be nice to wear them "out" though. I can understand your concern, asdf174. The neighborhood I live in is no less safer. For that reason, I wear sneakers to and from work and wear my heels at the office. Saves me from the very sort of problems you have to deal with. It's all good. ~Arron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asdf174 Posted June 1, 2005 Share Posted June 1, 2005 Couldn't have said it better myself with #2. Two kinds of fears 1,- the fear to wear heels in public (controllable) 2.- the fear to get yourself in a bad situation (not controllable) with #2 I mean you cannot control the reactions of mindless people!!! pam It's all good. ~Arron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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