Anita C. Posted November 4, 2003 Posted November 4, 2003 Working in the legal community I cannot stress the point of being honest about your little secrets. Be it that you like to wear womens shoes/clothes/ whatever. The most common mistake I see in divorces is when the S/Os "secret" gets out. The spouse then thinks "What ELSE has he/she been hiding?". Then they call the lawyers (MY office) and all hell breaks loose And their worst nightmare becomes REAL! Things I've learned in the past 25+ years of working with divorces: Never EVER lie to your spouse, Crossdressers never quit-they die, if you think you might be doing something jepordious to your relationship STOP. . . NOW. If it is something you really feel your life is incomplete without, evaluate how INCOMPLETE your like would be without your wike/husband/family because it DOES happen! "Spike Heels . . a Pork-pie hat . . Have on the mend in no time flat . . Ten Minutes 'Till The Savages Come by Manhatten Transfer.
Bubba136 Posted November 4, 2003 Posted November 4, 2003 Anetia's comments only reinforce what has been said over and over, here! If you doubt that, just do a search and see how many times this advice has been repeated. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Pam Posted November 4, 2003 Posted November 4, 2003 I learned that honesty is the best policy the hard way (see coping with wife) All the advice given in this forum converges in being honest with your partner. The best companion for honesty is time, after you outed your secret let some time pass. Things are viewed differently after the initial shock. Time allows you and your partner to organize thoughts and feelings. The last part of the puzzle will be information. The more you can inform your partner, the better. Information helps put things in perspective and balance since it becomes more familiar to both parties involved. Pam
Dr. Shoe Posted November 4, 2003 Posted November 4, 2003 It puzzles me that anyone can keep such a secret from their SO. Some of the trannies I've met say they've told their wives some years after marriage and she invariably already knew. In cases where they sue for divorce, it usually an excuse and seldom a reason. Communication and honesty from the start is the key. Graduate footwear designer able to advise and assist on modification and shoe making projects.
Bubba136 Posted November 5, 2003 Posted November 5, 2003 Dr. Shoe wrote:In cases where they sue for divorce, it usually an excuse and seldom a reason. That's a pretty broad statement. I doubt its as "cut and dried" as you make it seem. Perhaps this condition is a cause of a lot of "other" reasons -- so, by-in-large, all of the reasons are interconneted to a degree that is much greater than we think? Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
genebujold Posted November 23, 2003 Posted November 23, 2003 Dr. Shoe wrote: That's a pretty broad statement. I doubt its as "cut and dried" as you make it seem. Perhaps this condition is a cause of a lot of "other" reasons -- so, by-in-large, all of the reasons are interconneted to a degree that is much greater than we think? Perhaps the condition is used in court to sum up a lot of other reasons. It's easy to say, "he's a cross-dresser." It's difficult to say "I didn't get enough hugs, he didn't listen to me, we didn't spend enough time together, etc." Do all the above things and rare is the wife that will refuse to allow you your choice of fashion, provided it's tasteful and she won't feel embarrassed in front of her friends.
Bubba136 Posted November 24, 2003 Posted November 24, 2003 Talk about "cracking the code!" You have it correct, genebujold. Good advice even for a man that doesn't wear high heels. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
Skirted-UK Posted November 24, 2003 Posted November 24, 2003 It's hardly sexual equality when your wife can divorce you for wearing a skirt and heels, when a lot of women dress as men these days . Do you think a woman should disclose that she likes to wear trousers and men's shoes before she gets married, and is it grounds for divorce if she does not ? Women have little secrets as well, If your wife always wore a skirt and heels when you were courting and then wore only men's clothes and shoes when you got married, could you divorce her for it. I don't think so! "You can check out anytime you like, but you can never leave ! " The Eagles, "Hotel California"
Bubba136 Posted November 24, 2003 Posted November 24, 2003 Perception, acceptability, conformity, fashion, morality (and perhaps a few others), are all conditions that allow women to wear mens styles and keep men from wearing womens clothes. Change all of those and you’ll have done something. But, isn't that what we're trying to do -- one pair of heels at a time? Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
genebujold Posted November 26, 2003 Posted November 26, 2003 Gawd... Wanna really talk about honesty? Listen to the following story about an incredibly display of dishonesty on the part of a Korean husband. But that's not what's incredible. What's incredible is that this is the way EVERY Korean husband treats (or can treat) their wife, as permitted by law. I have a friend who's stationed in Korea. He told me about this woman who married a Korean national in her own country (not Korea), but allowed him to talk her into having her baby in Korea because of the better health care than in her country. The baby was born, it was a male. Her husband is a firstborn, too. Her husband's mother and an unmarried aunt came to live with them, and there was absolutely nothing she could do. In fact, it was so bad, she was, quite literally, a slave. And she was treated as such, verbally abused by her husband and her relatives by marriage. One day, after a particularly nasty session of abuse, she ran out of the house, leaving her baby in the care of her mother in law. She returned an hour later to find all her relatives by marriage, including her husband, shouting obscenities at her and refusing to allow her to return. Turns out, there's a Korean law covering abandonment which claims that what she did was final, and irrevocable. She's gone through the courts, but no joy, and absolutely no hope of ever seeing her child again. It even appeared in the news, but with a rather well-written, diffusing piece that went to great lengths to cover the abhorrent nature of their law and re-focus the public's attention on the mother's "abandonment." Nothing in the news made any mention whatsoever of the abuse she had received. I can't imagine anyone fighting this system and winning. But what I would ask you to do is to ensure the truth gets out concerning 1. the way S. Korea exalts the man while tolerating the way it abuses women, and 2. their ridiculously inhumane, unjust, abhorrent, and shamefully arrogant way they support the male no matter what the cost to the female - or to the female's children. There are other countries with similar laws on the books. Iraq comes to mind...
Bubba136 Posted November 26, 2003 Posted November 26, 2003 It's extreemly difficult for citizens of nations where female citizens are afforded equality in almost ever instance to believe there are still places on the planet that continue to threat females in that manner. However, as uncivilized as these practices seen to be, and as much as we don't agree with them, these countries are still sovereign nations and have the right and authority to practice their traditions and invoke their laws as they wish. What's even more unpalatable to those of us that live in "enlightened" societies is that there's nothing anyone can do about it except to try to persuade those countries to change their perspective. Being mentally comfortable in your own mind is the key to wearing heels in public.
PJ Posted November 27, 2003 Posted November 27, 2003 From what I have read in this thread, it seems like that if you take a man and a woman... join them in the legal act of matrimony... add some dishonesty... mix it all with laws and cultural practices from the jurisdiction they reside in and from their homelands... it all spells... M - I - S - E - R - Y. click .... click .... click .... The sensual sound of stiletto heels on a hard surface.
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